Name: Nick Swardson Explains Being Pulled Off Stage in Colorado
Uploaded: 2024-07-12T13:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Swardson Explains Being Pulled Off Stage in Colorado' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nick Swardson Explains Being Pulled Off Stage in Colorado' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-12. Transcript available.

I haven't seen you since, well, I saw the video that you had about the drink
where you got
just, what happened with the video?
It was in Colorado, right?
Colorado.
Because Ari Maness was working with you.
Yeah, Beaver Creek.
Yeah, I just worked with Ari this weekend.
Yeah, he's great.
Yeah, oh, he's great.
He's really brilliant.
Yeah, it was like the start of my whole spring tour, and it was like club days
to get ready
for Toilet Head again this fall, NickSquartson.net, Toilet Head.
Flush, and we had a flush sound right there.
So, yeah, I took an edible 9,000 feet.
Nuh-uh.
Yeah, and it was like, the shows were great after that, but it was like, yeah,
it was a
full brain fart, and I've rarely had that outside of New Orleans where I vomited
and threw it
into my hand, but yeah, it was just like a full brain fart, and I was on stage.
I was like, oh, my God, and the edible hit me, and I was like, fuck, and I'm
like, on stage,
you know what I mean?
Like, when you're live, and you're like, oh, yeah, here we go, and I was like,
just
high as fuck and balls.
So, you were high, so you weren't drunk?
No, I had a couple cocktails, but the edible is what really hit me.
Oh.
Was it scary?
Bro, that makes me so scared.
I've had moments just where I can't kind of remember what I'm talking about,
and even that
gets scarier.
I'll have like a bit that maybe didn't go as well, and now I'm like, I start to
feel
like nervous, and then if I can't figure out my next step, I get super scared.
So, I can't even imagine if an edible hit.
Yeah, it was like, but I mean, it was so blown out of proportion.
It's like, it wasn't like a disaster.
Well, people were yelling, play like 10 seconds, somebody.
Have you watched it?
Yeah, go for it.
Well, you did it.
What are you saying right now?
I'll say this.
Let me ask you this.
This is a weighted question.
What?
What?
Okay, I'll take a jump.
All right, here we go.
And somebody yelled, f***, too, and that was...
Yeah, it was like, the crowd was so belligerent.
Anybody here have a kiss?
Anybody here have a kiss?
What the hell?
Oh, my God.
Dude, it was amazing.
Okay.
And my apologies to Beaver Creek.
I'm not proud of, like, that, but I was like...
Yeah, what do you have to say?
I was so f***ing high.
I was like...
What do you have to say to the people at Beaver Creek who, first of all, they
legalized marijuana
there?
Yeah, by the way, I'm not the first person to get high in Colorado.
Yeah.
Like, that's not...
I'm not f***ing...
So, we have to say to the people because, yeah, it's a tough...
That's a double-edged sword, right?
If you invite me over to Chocolate Town or whatever, right?
Right, of course.
And I show up and I end up getting diabetes or whatever, like a black lung,
whatever you
get from eating too much chocolate.
Like, Willy Wonka invites you to the Chocolate Factory.
Right.
And he's like, suck my chocolate dick.
And then you have diabetes.
Right.
The people...
And it's on camera.
Yeah, it's on camera.
You're like...
But the people in the town have some responsibility.
The people that built the factory and let you have as much chocolate as you
want.
Yeah, they're making it.
They're sitting there making it.
And then they judge Judy you.
Get the f*** out of here.
Yeah, that's what...
You Wonka people.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
F***ing bonkers.
F***ing darn nation.
So what happened...
My apologies to Beaver Creek.
Sorry.
Yeah.
No.
Well, it's a beautiful area too.
It's beautiful.
And where were you at?
You guys were in a theater there.
Yeah, it was a theater.
You're performing.
You go out there.
Did you know before you went out there that you were like, I should not go out
there right
now?
No, I was like, I was totally fine.
But like, again, like the edible hit me right when I was in the middle of my
set.
And it was a new set.
So it's like, again, it's actually really great.
Toilet head this fall.
It's a solid endorsement.
But I was like, oh God.
And it's like, if anybody's taken an edible, especially if you're in altitude,
like 9,000
feet, even if you're stone sober, it's like aggressive.
You know what I mean?
And like, it hits you stone sober, but I took an edible with a couple of
cocktails.
I was like, oh no.
And I'm like, God, here we go.
And I remember the venue went to Ari and they were like, we're going to pull
Nick.
And Ari was like at my back.
He's like, don't do that.
Nick will figure it out.
You know what I mean?
Like he'll just, he'll figure it out.
It's not his first rodeo.
And they were like, nope.
And they pulled me.
Yeah.
Because they cut the mic at one point.
So then you just talk, you can't, they can't even hear you.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, all right.
I was like, what the fuck were people yell?
Like what were, I don't know.
Cause I, obviously I wasn't blacked out.
I wasn't blacked out.
I was just like, I didn't have my set list with me.
And like, you know, people like will comment like that were in the crowd.
I'm like, yeah, I could have gotten through it.
But I think people were booing because they pulled me.
Oh, I think they were like, what the fuck?
Why is Nick getting pulled?
But I think it was half and half.
Yeah.
Cause some people start yelling, get this F got or whatever off the stage.
You can say Fogorny waiver.
Yeah.
Get this, uh, this Faganic.
Yeah.
Faganic high.
Yeah.
Get this beautiful little care bear off the stage.
Somebody yelled that actually, which I thought was cute.
Yeah.
Which is appropriate.
Um, when you got backstage, what was it like?
What did the management say to you or something?
They were like, um, yeah, so yeah.
And I was like, yeah, what?
All right.
Okay.
That happened.
Oh, yeah.
I hate it when people don't even know what to say.
Yeah.
They were like, oh, hey, oh, oh, suck, suck you.
Like it was just ambiguous.
I was like, what the fuck?
Did you wake up the next day and you were like, what the fuck?
Cause what happened after that?
If the edible hits, probably pretty hard, huh?
No, it was the best because I went and did two sold out.
So all my shows sold out after that.
They were awesome.
Oh yeah.
People can attest to that.
At that point, people want to come and also see if you're going to fuck up as
well.
Yeah.
So I did two shows in Aspen at the belly up.
One of my favorite venues.
People threw edibles at me on stage.
I was on stage physically.
I was covered in edibles on the stage.
And then I did like six shows in Denver.
It was like all awesome.
Oh, so you, you went out right after that.
Oh, I, that was the start of my spring tour.
So that was the initial show of like, that's how I kicked it off.
And I was like, woke up.
And all of a sudden it was like a hundred text messages and people are like,
Hey man, you're
on CNN.
It was like so dumb.
Yeah.
I'm like, really?
Like, we're going to blow this out.
Like, like a TMZ called me.
They're like, we want to comment.
I'm like, for fucking what?
I got too high in Colorado.
I apologize.
I'll do my own apology.
And I apologize to Beaver Creek.
I love them very much.
Very sweet.
Are they sweet though?
If they got you all.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Jury's still out on that, but they were nice enough to show up and then, you
know,
who gave you the edible?
I don't want to snitch on anybody, but somebody did it.
You want the truth?
Abraham Lincoln.
No way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, he got so high.
He freed all the slaves.
Dude, he freed my brain.
He did.
How about that?
He fucking unleashed the Kraken.
And that's why we pray.
Well, he should.
Yeah.
And he unleashed the non-crackers as well.
He 100% did that.
There's nobody like him.
Dude, imagine what it must have been like for everyone like him, right?
If everybody was racist at the time and he just rolls up and he's like, guys,
crazy idea.
I'm going to go to the opera.
Just, I don't need security.
No, I'm saying he's going to release all the slaves, man.
Yeah.
But he had to pitch that to his buddies first.
Yeah, I see what you're saying.
You don't just surprise everybody.
Like, say, hey, everybody, cover your eyes.
Right.
And then, ta-da.
So, he was the original magician?
Is that what you're saying?
I mean, I'm just saying he pulled a lot of brothers out of a fucking pretty
tough hat.
Yeah, he did.
But that was a big top hat.
Yeah, it was.
Because those are fucking hard black nicks.
You know, he kept his notes in that hat a lot.
Yeah.
A lot of that.
He was like.
And he was very tall as well.
How tall was he?
That's a valid question.
How tall was his beard?
I mean, his wife.
6'4", bro.
He was the tallest president.
Tallest U.S. president.
So, he can dunk.
Which brings it back to black people.
Oh, he definitely obviously wanted a hoop or he wouldn't have released all
those guys.
Yeah, he fucking did pickup games and fucking crushed them.
But there's no way you're not like, oh, fuck, I need some better competition.
Yeah, he's like.
We've got to get these.
He's like, let's go.
These fucking white people suck, asshole.
We've got to get these brothers on the court.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure James Madison or whatever.
He probably fucking totally jammed on that.
Oh, my God.
How hard did he dunk on Thomas Jefferson?
Oh, he took his weight.
Did he dunk on him with the Constitution?
He was like, give me this piece of paper.
Bye.
Fucking bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Thank you.