Name: Theo and Andrew Santino React to the Shooting of Donald Trump
Uploaded: 2024-07-16T02:07:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Andrew Santino React to the Shooting of Donald Trump' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Andrew Santino React to the Shooting of Donald Trump' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-16. Transcript available.

dude trump yeah man insane where were you when trump got shot man i'm not going
to tell you
that's if the government's listening just in case i don't want anybody to hear
where was i i was uh
i was um i was at the oh i was at the house i was at the house and you know
what so far i my my
my instinct was like i'm not even kidding that's what time we're in now i
thought it was ai at
first i thought this is a someone's pulling a prank yeah on people i was like
someone is a
doing a very intricate coordinated prank because ai is that good they could
make that up but then i
kept you know then obviously it got exposed that it was real but for a long i'm
not kidding that's
how fucked the world is that i thought maybe that was fake or that it was this
was all made up yeah
it was it was a trip it still might be still might yeah i mean who we don't
know we weren't there i
wasn't there i have no idea what's going on in pennsylvania that's how so weird
the media is these
days like if you don't know and you weren't there if you really step back for a
second you're like
who knows what that you know how could i know how could i know that that's real
i don't know i mean
could have could have not took it took the hit though oh it was crazy dude yeah
that image him
yelling fight yeah fight my god dude which i didn't put that on the american
flag yeah you know put that
right where the stars are it's that's the wildest thing i think i've ever seen
this
a guy gets shot and then champions like a like a like a guy who tore his acl
yeah on the field and it's doing yeah yeah i mean that image is just insane
the craziest thing is i've seen a guy on the right at the ufc fights like seven
times i was gonna say
he's his like he's his number one guy that guy he looks so familiar it's like
so many things were
crazy about this um i was let me think where was i oh yeah so i was in yeah i
was in vegas
we're waiting we're gonna go to the show i went to watch diplo was playing at
um like a day
party somewhere so we stopped by there um he comes walking up he's going on
stage he's like dude guess
they shot trump and i was like diplo told you that swear to god he goes they
shot trump yeah and i was
like what is it a new song or something he goes no they shot trump i was like
no fucking way dude i
mean and nobody had said anything and he's like yeah man they shot him and he
goes oh this is
sorry he goes and my fucking dad just walked like like the door was closed
walking out to the patio
and he didn't know and he fucking walked right into it dude and it was like it
was the same thing now
i mean it is it is just as disturbing i agree look you got to care about the
man closest in your life
for sure but it was just so when he told me those things back to back dude and
i was like those aren't
exactly the same but um you know i'd love to meet you i'd love to meet your dad
i hope he's feeling
okay right um similar injury yeah and then he just got up there to start a
fucking party keeps going
but so that was just kind of strange and then oh he showed me the video on his
phone
of the kid of the uh of the shooting yeah and the video started and he wouldn't
forward the video you
could tell it was like a long video yeah you like skip forward a little bit
yeah but it was nice i'm
like is diplo really giving me me this much time to stand here like he's just
got like i feel bad i'm
wasting his time like i'll move the cursor but it's his phone yeah you're not
allowed to move the
cursor on somebody else's phone that's interesting that's so flagrant to touch
someone else's phone
oh what was the kid's name that did it what they got him right they got the he's
dead and gone and
thomas tommy crooks tommy crooks it sounds like it yeah it sounds like he would
do it yeah tommy
crooks who did it thomas crooks yeah but then you see a picture of the kid and
you're like what
no well one of the wildest things is um
that people are saying there's no way did you see the diagram of where it
happened
no no was it really what is it intricate bring that up the diagram of like who
where he shot
layout of what it looked like it's like oh there he was right next to the
right and this is like trump was speaking like off this way right that's why he
got his uh that right
ear right yeah yeah yeah go to that let me see if that helps a little bit wow
location law enforcement
snipers on roof stage where trump was speaking what were the snipers doing
while they they couldn't see
the gunman bro it looks like the only build the only roof that was close to
them was that one
so how did they not and people were saying you've seen the videos where people
were like hey there's
a guy right there and they didn't see it huh a little weird this dude now this
could be easily an actor
that's me that's that is me me with one of those silicone masks on from
it's like the guy fieri hat that you buy at the store that comes with the hair
what he's his face is going well he was he was up there we was yelling they
didn't know we kept
saying dude he's on the roof dude they wasn't listening i mean you could that
mouth we could play
it but that's exactly what it is i think play 20 seconds of it couldn't see him
but we could hear him
so we walked up oh it is probably five to seven minutes of trump speaking i'm
estimating here i
have no idea he's got chewing too big old dip stuck in his neck we noticed the
guy crawling arm you know
bear crawling up the roof of the building beside us 50 50 feet away from us so
we're standing there
you know we're pointing we're pointing at the guy crawling up the roof and he
had a gun right he had
a rifle right we could clearly see him with a rifle absolutely they called him
out and no one did
the police are down there running around on the ground we're like hey man there's
guy on the roof
with a rifle and the police were like huh what you know like like they didn't
know what was going on
you know we're like hey right here on the roof we can see him from right here
we see him you know he's
he's crawling the police were huh what and the cops ever been like i'm like why
is trump still speaking
why have they not pulled him off the stage i'm standing there pointing at him
for you know two
three minutes secret service is looking at us okay stop it i'm gonna call this
dude out go do something
dude yeah what are you doing you're pointing at him for two minutes what are
you just finishing a beer
50 feet away you have god gives you one chance to be a hero and instead you pop
open another bush
light dude both of these gentlemen uh don't are just interesting creatures
these are actors yeah dude
this is a the backup dude they got this dude off of timu this announcer look
what he's even using to
interview him yeah it's a mop it's not even a microphone that's a swiffer yeah
i don't try this
is very untrustworthy that's so very untrustworthy dude i don't like it but to
think though right so
they secure a perimeter imagine seeing okay you have a 20 year old he walked
over there with a rifle
bag he walked like a half a mile i think it says and nobody said anything yes
that's the part to me
that's like half a mile is a long way to walk with a big ass rifle with a rifle
now you are in pa it is
a trump rally so the weird thing is you almost expect everybody there to be
walking with a rifle
they give you one on the way in yeah yeah so you kind of expect a lot of that
like yeah this is this
is a part of it right yeah that's true like the ambiance you know what i'm
saying like if it's at a
biden rally something with a rifle you'd be like oh what the fuck's going on
but i feel like at a
trump it's more like a you know american symbolic right nra bring your guns
plenty of times this is
crazy these people are watching him right here here he is right there right
there see him he's laying
down yeah he's laying down what's happening when they see a guy that guy's
walking with his child
yeah look there he is because we have millions oh my god dangerous people
criminals we have
wow i've never seen him right on the road it's much tougher than it is
how on earth are they're not in recorded history with the best in fact if they
could ever put up a chart i
don't know okay that's that is yeah but yeah just unbelievable so yeah you
start to wonder was this
put together but how do you convince a 20 year old to just go do something like
that you know
pack of cigarettes and you know i don't know some gas money 20. yes what were
you doing at 20. you
could convince me of almost anything at 20. oh i hope the photos don't show up
i know that yeah 20s 20s are
tough 20s are a time when i could i be convinced to get on a roof and that's a
good point huh i don't 20
i don't maybe i don't know you're so gullible um it just depends on uh sorry i
was saying it came
out that he thomas crooks was featured in a black rock i saw this he was in
black rock in a in an
advertisement for black rock this is where it gets real shaky this is where it
gets real shaky
it's like a it's like a commercial for black rock it is yeah it was like a
commercial and he's in
school they say that guy made this place a special place to come to school look
right there wow wow
so creepy fuck dude it's everything gets a little twisted dude but now will
trump be able to speak
publicly somewhere again like how are they even going to manage this moving
forward they're going to have
to do what they do with the pope you know the pope mobile you know the pope
shell they'll just give
him a trump shell put him in a little um tube yeah he'll name it he'll sell it
yeah you better have
you need protection you gotta get a trump tube they shot me they shoot me they
can shoot you
yeah that like the pope oh that's cool it is dope why doesn't like jeep should
sell that you know
someone in la would buy that of course someone in l would be cruising around in
that well remember
that chick that banged the clippers on her she wore that visor all the time
yeah yeah yeah what was that
chick's name my little silly rabbit that was so weird so funny i'm his right
hand man arm
she was brilliant but dude yeah i just i i mean i can't even believe it the
craziest thing is
yeah that girl you're almost like what the it almost feels like it's all part
of it just like
i'm almost not even i'm surprised but we're it's theater it all feels like
theater yeah we're in the
middle of like the craziest play we've ever we've ever lived that's what it
feels like and what act
are we in the are we in the third act do you think is this it i think you know
it's funny you think it
could be like covid was intermission hmm covid was intermission that's what i
call it now
i call that intermission dude dude i love that and now we're seeing that the
rest of the play is
about to play out now it's on this is oh and there's the lady right there who
is that says female
shane gillis that's not doing her best work what you see that lady tried to holster
her gun a few
times it just couldn't wouldn't go in yeah that's tough yeah i think that's my
aunt libby there's no
way she's made bombs here with sadie's like
but this is crazy putting him in the car well the crazy thing is they don't
even bring him down to the
ground when they're at the podium no they stand them up and walk walk him off
an easier target which is
crazy and he keeps saying let me get my shoes um well they were nice if they're
nice and new customs you
do want to get those back on they probably are yeah uh it's funny this is what
they train for this is
unbelievable get them in that get them in the car and then they slam on the
door he puts her glasses
on put your shades on dude you don't want to see your eyes that's wild can you
even imagine though like
your job at secret service there's so many it's all down time i'm also shocked
that they wear sunglasses
the secret service doesn't have like a thing that they can permanently put
around their eyes taking
on and off sunglasses yeah pain in the ass and i lose i lose i'm gonna the pair
i brought in here
today i'm gonna lose it i'm gonna leave it here in the studio lose them all the
time
yeah i'm trying i just you start to wonder what is it a conspiracy that do they
want us to think it's
a conspiracy because now there's no like the guy's been a martyr after the
justice system went after
him right whatever you think like i've always thought that trump is a shady
businessman right
do i think that he's a very personable guy i don't know i don't know him well
enough
the most interesting thing i've seen him do uh was when he's turned like that
and said fight it showed
like that he because there's a lot of people think oh he just want they're
gonna want you know to turn back
around yeah and face the crowd and face the crowd and face the shooter too i
mean you don't know what
the fuck's going on right you're making yourself visual uh that's that was
really interesting to
me man you know what i'm saying like right so bold and those other guys that
well the other secret
service like please get down because their their heads are targets it's just
crazy have you talked
have you seen about this guy on the internet the guy with that hat that goofy
fedora in the background
oh yeah this guy there he's all over the internet they're talking who is that i
don't even know but
he's his name's come up a hundred times the guy who's holding his phone and
they say clown uh that
guy's a he's a simpsons character that's matt groaning that's a matt that's the
simpson that's right
that's michael jackson if he never got molested and learned to dance dude i
feel like you know what i'm
saying it's insane well here's the crazy part you have white dude you have kappa
sig right behind him
just smiling like why aren't all those people hiding that's what i didn't get
no panic no panic
they were just shooting no panic i mean they show the tape that guy doesn't
even flinch fedora
and fedora man that's his name yeah fedora man but he doesn't even go down
wouldn't you if somebody
starts shooting at somebody gone gone absolutely i'm crawling on the ground and
i'm out of there later
email me and we'll talk to you later i'm gonna go i'm absolutely out i'm not
hanging out at all
do you think a marksman could have been accurate enough just to graze him on
purpose
that would be too hard honestly maybe those guys are good dude they could not
they could shoot an
earring off somebody's ear look at him there there's vincent that's his name
vincent just hanging out
shooting happens he still stood up he didn't even sit down when the first shots
ran out
he's just hanging out now i do know it says on the internet he has bad knees
but he just stood up
just hanging out but what fight fight yeah no panic pretty incredible i don't
know what they want
us to believe that's a good question do they want us to think it's a conspiracy
maybe yeah because then
then the wheels get spinning more yeah right yeah for sure man you don't think
biden has anything to
do with it i don't i mean i wouldn't be surprised if like the fbi or the
department adjuster one of them
there's something going on there i'll be surprised if somebody's compromised at
secret service but i don't
know how you convince a large group of people you know like you have to
convince the local police as well
it's like pretty exhausting i don't think i could name five police officers in
pennsylvania that would
probably not stand up to help for trump probably like a lot of those guys are
you know yeah military
and police a lot of them are trump supporters unless people are getting bribed
money yeah but it's just
interesting i don't know how you figure that out and then but yeah how does a
20 year old kid
use a ladder get up it just is like there's nobody standing in any of these
areas yeah no one's going what are you
doing not one guy just one walk by guy what are you doing yeah that guy he didn't
get any what are you
doings i don't i mean this is gonna make for it's just un-fucking-believable
ladder he brought the
ladder he planted beforehand bro he set it up beforehand so he went there
before set up the ladder
dude that building is looks like it's about 12 feet right huh i wonder what
business is in there
oh they didn't secure it says now uh secret service did not secure the nearest
hall building
a ladder had been placed in advance of the shooting on the building
attendees alerted law enforcement to the presence of the shooter so a little
shaky dude
Thank you.

Theo and Andrew Santino React to the Shooting of Donald Trump

dude trump yeah man insane where were you when trump got shot man i'm not going
to tell you
that's if the government's listening just in case i don't want anybody to hear
where was i i was uh
i was um i was at the oh i was at the house i was at the house and you know
what so far i my my
my instinct was like i'm not even kidding that's what time we're in now i
thought it was ai at
first i thought this is a someone's pulling a prank yeah on people i was like
someone is a
doing a very intricate coordinated prank because ai is that good they could
make that up but then i
kept you know then obviously it got exposed that it was real but for a long i'm
not kidding that's
how fucked the world is that i thought maybe that was fake or that it was this
was all made up yeah
it was it was a trip it still might be still might yeah i mean who we don't
know we weren't there i
wasn't there i have no idea what's going on in pennsylvania that's how so weird
the media is these
days like if you don't know and you weren't there if you really step back for a
second you're like
who knows what that you know how could i know how could i know that that's real
i don't know i mean
could have could have not took it took the hit though oh it was crazy dude yeah
that image him
yelling fight yeah fight my god dude which i didn't put that on the american
flag yeah you know put that
right where the stars are it's that's the wildest thing i think i've ever seen
this
a guy gets shot and then champions like a like a like a guy who tore his acl
yeah on the field and it's doing yeah yeah i mean that image is just insane
the craziest thing is i've seen a guy on the right at the ufc fights like seven
times i was gonna say
he's his like he's his number one guy that guy he looks so familiar it's like
so many things were
crazy about this um i was let me think where was i oh yeah so i was in yeah i
was in vegas
we're waiting we're gonna go to the show i went to watch diplo was playing at
um like a day
party somewhere so we stopped by there um he comes walking up he's going on
stage he's like dude guess
they shot trump and i was like diplo told you that swear to god he goes they
shot trump yeah and i was
like what is it a new song or something he goes no they shot trump i was like
no fucking way dude i
mean and nobody had said anything and he's like yeah man they shot him and he
goes oh this is
sorry he goes and my fucking dad just walked like like the door was closed
walking out to the patio
and he didn't know and he fucking walked right into it dude and it was like it
was the same thing now
i mean it is it is just as disturbing i agree look you got to care about the
man closest in your life
for sure but it was just so when he told me those things back to back dude and
i was like those aren't
exactly the same but um you know i'd love to meet you i'd love to meet your dad
i hope he's feeling
okay right um similar injury yeah and then he just got up there to start a
fucking party keeps going
but so that was just kind of strange and then oh he showed me the video on his
phone
of the kid of the uh of the shooting yeah and the video started and he wouldn't
forward the video you
could tell it was like a long video yeah you like skip forward a little bit
yeah but it was nice i'm
like is diplo really giving me me this much time to stand here like he's just
got like i feel bad i'm
wasting his time like i'll move the cursor but it's his phone yeah you're not
allowed to move the
cursor on somebody else's phone that's interesting that's so flagrant to touch
someone else's phone
oh what was the kid's name that did it what they got him right they got the he's
dead and gone and
thomas tommy crooks tommy crooks it sounds like it yeah it sounds like he would
do it yeah tommy
crooks who did it thomas crooks yeah but then you see a picture of the kid and
you're like what
no well one of the wildest things is um
that people are saying there's no way did you see the diagram of where it
happened
no no was it really what is it intricate bring that up the diagram of like who
where he shot
layout of what it looked like it's like oh there he was right next to the
right and this is like trump was speaking like off this way right that's why he
got his uh that right
ear right yeah yeah yeah go to that let me see if that helps a little bit wow
location law enforcement
snipers on roof stage where trump was speaking what were the snipers doing
while they they couldn't see
the gunman bro it looks like the only build the only roof that was close to
them was that one
so how did they not and people were saying you've seen the videos where people
were like hey there's
a guy right there and they didn't see it huh a little weird this dude now this
could be easily an actor
that's me that's that is me me with one of those silicone masks on from
it's like the guy fieri hat that you buy at the store that comes with the hair
what he's his face is going well he was he was up there we was yelling they
didn't know we kept
saying dude he's on the roof dude they wasn't listening i mean you could that
mouth we could play
it but that's exactly what it is i think play 20 seconds of it couldn't see him
but we could hear him
so we walked up oh it is probably five to seven minutes of trump speaking i'm
estimating here i
have no idea he's got chewing too big old dip stuck in his neck we noticed the
guy crawling arm you know
bear crawling up the roof of the building beside us 50 50 feet away from us so
we're standing there
you know we're pointing we're pointing at the guy crawling up the roof and he
had a gun right he had
a rifle right we could clearly see him with a rifle absolutely they called him
out and no one did
the police are down there running around on the ground we're like hey man there's
guy on the roof
with a rifle and the police were like huh what you know like like they didn't
know what was going on
you know we're like hey right here on the roof we can see him from right here
we see him you know he's
he's crawling the police were huh what and the cops ever been like i'm like why
is trump still speaking
why have they not pulled him off the stage i'm standing there pointing at him
for you know two
three minutes secret service is looking at us okay stop it i'm gonna call this
dude out go do something
dude yeah what are you doing you're pointing at him for two minutes what are
you just finishing a beer
50 feet away you have god gives you one chance to be a hero and instead you pop
open another bush
light dude both of these gentlemen uh don't are just interesting creatures
these are actors yeah dude
this is a the backup dude they got this dude off of timu this announcer look
what he's even using to
interview him yeah it's a mop it's not even a microphone that's a swiffer yeah
i don't try this
is very untrustworthy that's so very untrustworthy dude i don't like it but to
think though right so
they secure a perimeter imagine seeing okay you have a 20 year old he walked
over there with a rifle
bag he walked like a half a mile i think it says and nobody said anything yes
that's the part to me
that's like half a mile is a long way to walk with a big ass rifle with a rifle
now you are in pa it is
a trump rally so the weird thing is you almost expect everybody there to be
walking with a rifle
they give you one on the way in yeah yeah so you kind of expect a lot of that
like yeah this is this
is a part of it right yeah that's true like the ambiance you know what i'm
saying like if it's at a
biden rally something with a rifle you'd be like oh what the fuck's going on
but i feel like at a
trump it's more like a you know american symbolic right nra bring your guns
plenty of times this is
crazy these people are watching him right here here he is right there right
there see him he's laying
down yeah he's laying down what's happening when they see a guy that guy's
walking with his child
yeah look there he is because we have millions oh my god dangerous people
criminals we have
wow i've never seen him right on the road it's much tougher than it is
how on earth are they're not in recorded history with the best in fact if they
could ever put up a chart i
don't know okay that's that is yeah but yeah just unbelievable so yeah you
start to wonder was this
put together but how do you convince a 20 year old to just go do something like
that you know
pack of cigarettes and you know i don't know some gas money 20. yes what were
you doing at 20. you
could convince me of almost anything at 20. oh i hope the photos don't show up
i know that yeah 20s 20s are
tough 20s are a time when i could i be convinced to get on a roof and that's a
good point huh i don't 20
i don't maybe i don't know you're so gullible um it just depends on uh sorry i
was saying it came
out that he thomas crooks was featured in a black rock i saw this he was in
black rock in a in an
advertisement for black rock this is where it gets real shaky this is where it
gets real shaky
it's like a it's like a commercial for black rock it is yeah it was like a
commercial and he's in
school they say that guy made this place a special place to come to school look
right there wow wow
so creepy fuck dude it's everything gets a little twisted dude but now will
trump be able to speak
publicly somewhere again like how are they even going to manage this moving
forward they're going to have
to do what they do with the pope you know the pope mobile you know the pope
shell they'll just give
him a trump shell put him in a little um tube yeah he'll name it he'll sell it
yeah you better have
you need protection you gotta get a trump tube they shot me they shoot me they
can shoot you
yeah that like the pope oh that's cool it is dope why doesn't like jeep should
sell that you know
someone in la would buy that of course someone in l would be cruising around in
that well remember
that chick that banged the clippers on her she wore that visor all the time
yeah yeah yeah what was that
chick's name my little silly rabbit that was so weird so funny i'm his right
hand man arm
she was brilliant but dude yeah i just i i mean i can't even believe it the
craziest thing is
yeah that girl you're almost like what the it almost feels like it's all part
of it just like
i'm almost not even i'm surprised but we're it's theater it all feels like
theater yeah we're in the
middle of like the craziest play we've ever we've ever lived that's what it
feels like and what act
are we in the are we in the third act do you think is this it i think you know
it's funny you think it
could be like covid was intermission hmm covid was intermission that's what i
call it now
i call that intermission dude dude i love that and now we're seeing that the
rest of the play is
about to play out now it's on this is oh and there's the lady right there who
is that says female
shane gillis that's not doing her best work what you see that lady tried to holster
her gun a few
times it just couldn't wouldn't go in yeah that's tough yeah i think that's my
aunt libby there's no
way she's made bombs here with sadie's like
but this is crazy putting him in the car well the crazy thing is they don't
even bring him down to the
ground when they're at the podium no they stand them up and walk walk him off
an easier target which is
crazy and he keeps saying let me get my shoes um well they were nice if they're
nice and new customs you
do want to get those back on they probably are yeah uh it's funny this is what
they train for this is
unbelievable get them in that get them in the car and then they slam on the
door he puts her glasses
on put your shades on dude you don't want to see your eyes that's wild can you
even imagine though like
your job at secret service there's so many it's all down time i'm also shocked
that they wear sunglasses
the secret service doesn't have like a thing that they can permanently put
around their eyes taking
on and off sunglasses yeah pain in the ass and i lose i lose i'm gonna