Name: Mall Cop Has Seen A LOT on the Security Cameras
Uploaded: 2024-07-24T17:45:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mall Cop Has Seen A LOT on the Security Cameras' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mall Cop Has Seen A LOT on the Security Cameras' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-24. Transcript available.

what do you guys see on the cameras and did you guys ever catch anybody having
sex or anything
like that man so i i actually have a good story about that i've we've seen a
lot on camera i i've
seen people getting head uh i've seen i've seen it all oh yeah that's one vote
for trump right
there hell yeah but we had a direct incident with one of our guards okay so and
what rank was he uh
he was a no striper no stripe he was a no stripe he he was a baggy pant dicky
wearing guy like me
um good guy though but he was messing around with the girl from cinnabon he was
yeah was she cute
yeah she was all right she was a cinnabonner you know yeah so one day i'm
watching the cameras and
on the cameras i noticed she's going to the car and i'm like that's that's not
our guy that's i think
it's the movie theater guy you know wait what are you talking about i'm
confused okay so the girl
from cinnabon we were watching her go from cinnabon to the parking lot to her
car okay but she was
walking with a guy oh she's walking with a guy yeah i mean i think he was i
think he was the employee
one of the employees from the movie theater goes in there we could clearly tell
they're doing some
he leaves within five minutes somebody else comes walking up it's our guard he
gets in the car they
start doing their thing uh oh was it a honda accord uh it was a nissan ultima
yeah yeah ultima for sure
so they do their thing and we're just like me and my other guy like no way this
is happening like
she's on her break you know she's doing all this on her break oh she's on her
break she met up with
movie dude they're hanging in the car he leaves five minutes later y'all's boy
shows up the other guard
shows up does his thing somebody from your rank so we call he gets in there and
i was like hey man i
gotta show you something and i was like hey you know we saw you go and he's
like yeah but i know you're
not gonna say nothing right you know i'm like yeah but rewind he's like what
the so we start you know
talking to him and all this stuff but i go up to the cinnabon girl and i was
like hey
i i watched everything that happened she was like please don't say nothing like
cinnabon for life so
i got free cinnabon for life but yeah my boy and the movie guy taxed the same
girl in the in the
in a half hour period saw that on camera and do you think it was full sex or
you think it was a world
uh this it had been full sex the second guy no way why he came out adjusting
his pants and she came
out like adjusting her the first one just she was going to like you know like
wiping it up oh yeah
she needed she probably just needed free passes or something you know oh yeah
you know that's
probably when um what's that movie that killed paul walker fast and furious
that's probably fast and
furious 3 came out ever catch anybody having sex in any of the uh like dressing
rooms oh yeah oh hell
yeah hell yeah dude i did it too one time did you yeah new orleans okay i was
gonna say it wasn't
that you know this one place because you do look familiar no uh no uh i've uh
we've caught two
people on camera going in and you can clearly tell they didn't go in with
anything and the girl was
like you know giving the just like and i was like oh she's doing blowing in
there she's doing all
probably blow and blowing can you hear can you see is there a camera you can
see in there no not at
all okay not at all you could clearly see him walk in and she was like yeah and
i was like oh she's
gonna and we creep up you know we don't make it no we creep up we listen get a
little perv on for a
second and then beat on the doors really hard and then you know it's just oh
you know next yeah
something you know like deuce you know like you know but um definitely i've
caught many people in
the act many people all races all genders uh caught two gay dudes one time that
was an experience for me
really yeah like what did you see any action sword fighting no uh saw two wieners
at once in your own
line of vision yeah yeah um it was at horton plaza uh horton plaza is down in
san diego it's not there
anymore no that's the horn play yeah so it was inside the theater and theater
called and said hey
there's something going on we need males to come into the bathroom and handle
this
so i get in the bathroom and i hear giggling and i almost feel they wanted to
get caught yeah
because when i opened the door it was almost like they were paused and then
like oh sorry and i'm
like uh can please stop and what they had their wieners out yeah both of them
oh wow unfortunately
one was hard and one was not oh wow that was really looked yeah i had to like
it was i mean you didn't
have to i mean at a certain point you was you well i think if you see the rest
of somebody's body is
naked you know the wieners right there in the middle you know when you walk in
and something and
just like oh oh oh yeah it was a you know that three-step part of like hey guys
dicks okay get
the out of my bathroom now you know but i feel they wanted to get caught 100
well there is something
weird if you see somebody naked immediately you need to know if they have like
you you like you can't
even help but there's something inside of you i guess maybe i don't know i don't
know probably like
competition is it bigger than mine you know like you think no i think you just
don't
i don't know i remember i was in uh we were in new orleans my girlfriend i went
into victoria's uh
secrets right we went up in there and um yeah we both snuck in there and then
just started having a
little bit of scx boy and we were young and so it was you know it was so you
know and not like it was
fun when you're young it's fun to just do a little bit of or whatever and it's
um yeah it was like yeah
sober sex is is for children i've always said that and anyway it was just that
was awesome i miss her a
lot sometimes and um you know what else but was there other sexual instances
you guys would see oh yeah uh
a lot in the parking lot a lot of going parking lot a lot of employees after
work in the parking lot
um what doing sex in cars oh yeah oh yeah uh we caught somebody behind the
trash can of the dumpsters
one time like they coordinated to go take out trash together because the guy
told me goes yeah i told
her to take out trash at like like 8 30 and we met that's romeo and juliet yeah
and the gross thing
is like it was the food court trash can so it smelled like food and you couldn't
use the one that uses
plastic and cardboard oh yeah that's recyclio and juliet dude yeah god oh yeah
right there behind
the dumpsters though oh yeah if i oh yeah it's hard for me to stay erect if
there's broken glass around
or like a bad trash smell is rough you know the smell of other pee kind of
throws it off too
um vigilantism here's a video right here black friday stampede oh pink used to
be a good store secrets
and this is whites hunting panties right here there we go
a lot of thong hell yeah god that thong in there bro remember when the thong
came out oh yeah
because i was 22 so you had all those like those young ass women coming out of
college buying the
fuck it was like five for 30. oh yeah i would definitely i would be
i would be in there i bet it was a sniffer's dream was it oh yeah would you
guys ever go in
there and do some pervy we wouldn't but we would catch the people that were
you know were there some lurkers in there oh yeah what was that like because
that was victoria was
that where the babes were at where were the babes at in the mall victoria's
secret okay victoria's
secret um we got a call one time about a pervy dude in victoria's secret
because i guess they're
allowed to try on the panties and they put a little pant like whatever they do
to put a little panty liner
in to like block the you know the clam and the jam so i guess they when they
take the panties off it's
not like they go throw them in a washing machine they just put them back on the
rack so i guess the guy
caught on to where they were putting those panties and he would go by and just
kind of oh yeah these
look good yeah get that good whiff yeah boy make that make your wiener walk
forward baby i like that
um yeah i dude i yeah i understand i think it's um and would you guys have to
go and talk to that guy
yeah unfortunately really yeah like how do you what do you say there um i
actually used my my own words
i said hey man what the are you doing in here sniffing underwear like that and
he's like i'm
not i'm like bro you are in here sniffing panties like a pervert why he's like
and he started walking
away i said hey bro don't come in here no more stop grabbing handfuls of panties
and sniffing them we see
you yeah and he and then he walks out and i i swear he said this under his
breath he goes i'm still
gonna do it really yeah i was like oh he's dedicated yeah you gotta respect
that man but he was definitely
one of the only ones that i actually encountered i've heard plenty of stories
like there was there's
victoria secret girls used to tell stories all the time about like oh man this
guy used to do like
a run by sniff or um girls would like uh if they pull up their panties or they
would hold panties in
the air to look at them or something a guy would like drop his wallet or
something good you know a
quick little sniff by and he's like yeah we see a lot of that here i'm like why
don't you say anything
like sometimes it's funny sometimes it's really pervy i'm like it's all pervy
it's all pervy but at
the same time i guess it could be funny if you just see somebody hit a knee and
a sniff yeah and what
would they do is trying to sniff smell the woman the butt oh yeah yeah that'll
get you sniffers are weird
yeah well it's uh you know humans are 40 animal or something and um they do it
you know so i don't
think it's crazy no but it's uh yeah it's an art for i don't know if it's an
art form that's crazy but
yeah it's seems weird i think it's it should have been something back in the
day that got frowned upon
like hey you can't be sniffing sally's ass it's like whatever yeah
Thank you.