Name: What "The Dirt" Got Right About Mötley Crüe (and the Stories They Left Out)
Uploaded: 2024-08-06T20:43:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What "The Dirt" Got Right About Mötley Crüe (and the Stories They Left Out)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What "The Dirt" Got Right About Mötley Crüe (and the Stories They Left Out)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-06. Transcript available.

yeah because uh uh in the dirt there's a lot of stuff where you guys are just
partying so hard
i mean obviously they do that for cameras you know or for films and to make it
look cool
yeah did you feel cool about the dirt dude i was so pumped because it's so raw
and so fucking real
and um i can't believe they smashed everything into an hour and a half that's a
lot yeah they
should have made it 10 episodes yeah that's it could have been a fucking mini
series like
you know like um but just to get that amount of stuff uh in there um is just
beyond and it was
fucking awesome i loved it man yeah it's it's really mgk crushed it as you too
he played you
didn't he yeah yeah he did a great job he did dude he was so fucking he was so
um i don't get enough
credit for that really when i think back on that yeah i mean he did a great job
he did a
unbelievable job like i've never seen somebody take uh so much i've i've i've
known him i've known
him for a while and he i get he calls me up and day goes bro i got the fucking
part i'm like what are
you talking about he goes dude i'm fucking playing you i go what he goes yeah
dude he goes i got the
fucking script i'm coming over and we're gonna go through this bitch line by
line and i want to know
how shit really happened because i i gotta pull this off and i want it to fuck
i want to fucking
i want to make you proud i want to fucking murder this shit oh that's cool he
goes and and it's just
it's just such a trip because we're kind of the same build the same kind of
fucking lanky goofy
fucking you know and and he he came over dude and he we spent hours hours days
going over everything
because he wanted to fucking rip it like he goes like i gotta fucking nail this
and he did yeah he
fucking killed it yeah he killed it yeah i remember there being kind of moments
i'd be like damn that's
mgk and and he's fucking killing it yeah only every now and then would you kind
of think that it was him
um yeah yeah i think and i guess films and stuff like that they just they yeah
that's hard to do to
put everything into 90 minutes is it hard for you to even remember some of what
went on you know what
yes um and that that that movie was about the book and the the dirt book um
they said it's pretty true
to form a lot of it i think yes it's it's it's identical but but to answer your
question i didn't
you know thank god the other guys remembered because you know and that and vice
versa we all like
kind of reminded each other of things because shit's fuzzy for me about this or
that time or
you know depending on what people were going through at the time people
remember or don't
quite remember yeah um so it was really that process of writing the book uh
individually everybody
kind of did their interviews and you know later you find out oh that's right
you know that that's a
cool yeah that's cool yeah it's almost like a time capsule kind of yeah yeah
and it's neat to have
somebody else there to help you remember too yes that's really the cool a cool
gift of it because
it's so hard to sometimes just yeah yeah there's so much that that has happened
it would be almost
impossible especially for us retards to like remember all of it yeah oh no come
on yeah what else
in that i'm trying to think of the oh what about the part in the dirt where ozzy
snorts that piss is
that true or they just made that up full on true i know people ask that all the
time like dude really
i'm like abso-fucking-lutely you can't make that shit up yeah to rip a line of
piss there's my buddy
tony cavallero that played him dude dude he was so high yeah oh ozzy was though
all of us right here
we had just come we had just been on a overnight bus ride and ozzy rode with us
so we're all and we're
doing rails the whole way no one slept everyone just drink so we're at at the
hotel uh-huh and
no one wanted to go to their room everyone wanted to still keep partying so we
go let's go to the
fucking pool we go to the pool and at that at that time it was just kind of a
thing everybody was into
like out rockstar and out grossing somebody out like out partying yeah you know
like no dude so ozzy
starts he's ozzy's wasted he sees there's a little trail of amps going all the
way to this kid popsicle
that he left on the ground right yeah and ozzy looks down and fucking just snorts
the whole the line of
ants going up to the popsicle and and and nikki's like okay well that so nikki
pulls the dick out at
the pool this everybody's this hotel the fourth this is like the forest four
seasons i think in dallas
some up and just people kids everything nikki goes i up watch this nikki goes
to pee on the ground and
nikki's gonna lick up his own piss to like out oh yeah you got a recycling and
before nikki could
do it ozzy fucking beats him to it and licks up his piss and then we're like
all right ozzy you win
you win dude nap time yeah and then dude that's awesome then they what they don't
show in the movie
there is i the ozzy's tour manager goes dude ozzy's on one you're responsible
for him here's his hotel room
key fuck i'm done i can't deal with this anymore i'm like i got him cool i'll
take him to his room
so anyway after we get kicked out of the pool area for all that
bullshit they don't really go into it in the movie i get off my come on awesome
we gotta we get kicked
out we got to take you up to your room he goes all right mate i put him we get
in the elevator
they're going up and he's and there's people in the elevator and he pulls his
pants down and he just
starts fucking he's gonna he's shitting i'm like ozzy dude no
fuck don't shit don't nut dude no and he's like ah we get to the to the floor i'm
like come on i'm just
trying to get him to his fucking room yeah close the door and like let him he
just needs to go to bed
yeah um so i i take his room key i open it up open like push the door open i'm
like okay buddy see you
later and he's like he goes come here i'm like i'm gonna go he's like no you
come here i go in
and he's he now he's gonna finish he just starts shitting in the middle of the
room wow bends down
picks it up and starts painting the walls with his i'm like oh i'm like i gotta
go dude and i
bailed and i don't know what happened after that but they don't show that part
in the movie just like
he had to do yeah but if you gotta you gotta find other ways to you know like
bro just wait
till you get to the toilet yeah that's the best way yeah but he wanted to like
everybody was just on
this like i got an owl yeah whatever i'm an animal i'm gonna paint with my yeah
yeah yeah everybody's
i'm an animal yeah everybody's Pablo all of a sudden that's wicked dude
Thank you.