Name: What a School Lunch Lady Has Learned About Kids Over the Years
Uploaded: 2024-09-13T14:45:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What a School Lunch Lady Has Learned About Kids Over the Years' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What a School Lunch Lady Has Learned About Kids Over the Years' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-13. Transcript available.

okay so you got the kids coming through the line um how does that what's the
energy there as they
start to come through are you usually does that is that exciting moment for the
lunch ladies
or is that kind of like oh you know now we gotta work it depends who you are i'm
gonna say it like
that like you know a lot of how do i say it i think the younger gen new
generation stuff they're
a little bit more slow and late you know it is kind of like but i get them
pumped we're like
we're like let's go you're like hot diggity dog and and and we got little ones
that come through the
line and i go what do you say and she's like if you touch it you take it i'm
like you got it girl
so so no we kind of boost them and get them laughing i like to wear like i play
around with them like
put different wigs on oh yeah you know i like to switch it up and i don't wear
a lot of makeup most
times so i put makeup on and all of them be like whoa you know just just make
it different yeah i
mean we like to try to do something different just so the kids are like wow you
know yeah it's a lot
of fun to play with them especially the little ones because they're fun they
are like what age are
still kids really enjoyable at um i'm gonna i'm gonna say the little ones up to
i don't know about
10 before they start getting a little mouthy and then they want to do their own
thing yeah then there
are some of them are like too cool for me they've been in school for like ever
and now they're too cool
for me they hugged me every day when they were little yeah and now they're like
i live in the
neighborhood so i see them all oh so you see a lot i see a lot of them yeah
what are some over what are
some things you've ever heard kids say that have been funny anything funny that
comes out of your
head over the years that are anything interesting or like because you're right
there on the eavesdropping
you're like i know it's just like it's so hard to think of things at the time
um i mean i i eavesdrop all
the time don't get me wrong amen because i hear stuff i'm not supposed to hear
i just i just tried
not to even you know yeah i'm thinking they did what and they're only what so
oh kids making out or
whatever different things that they talk through and i'm like a lot of these
kids oh man i don't even
want to hear all that now so i try to act like i'm not listening but uh like
some will talk sometimes
like a long time ago maybe about their parents or you get a little bit more
scoop than you should
know things going on and things going on yeah you probably shouldn't know yeah
people smoking this
at it yeah well their clothes smell like when they come in and what's some of
the interaction like with
them well you like the preschool and it's like come here baby they come first
yes okay so the littlest
the littlest kids the littlest kids come first oh wow yeah we get we get the
little ones and then we
move on up and at the last period is six seventh eighth those are the big ones
yeah so we start out
with these babies you know and you know they're all cute little babies then we
go to these big huge
kids which i don't know what they're feeding them anymore because you know they're
getting big
yeah yeah i got some big boys miss melissa hook me up and i'm like okay you
know yeah but yeah
we start out but the little ones there they come anywhere from four years old
and i think to about
14. okay unless they unless they you know failed a bunch of times and then they
might be a little
little oh yeah i mean you know we had a guy yeah yeah how many times he's been
here
yeah yeah he finally comes to one of you just hand him a um uh a uh what's a
thing you fill out to
work uh when you want to work somewhere yeah you just hand him a work
application oh yeah right right
you might as well you're gonna be you know 18 in a minute that happens a lot um
so what yeah what are
some of the kids kiddos that have come through some of the little buckarooties
that have come through
there like any unique like anybody bringing anything with like any stories they
bring with them or what's
going on with the kiddos well i mean i there are so many kids i see them
everywhere now like
the lady that's at the pharmacy she's a pharmacist she was one of my kids i go
to restaurants
um we go on a canoe ride and i started laughing i wasn't nowhere near cleveland
and they're like miss
melissa and we everywhere i go i brought into something i mean that's a lot of
years and they're
grown wow so they'll look at me and i'm like they're giving them money and they're
like are you
miss most i'm like yeah they're like i was like you were running my kids oh
that's cool but it's cool
yeah yeah yeah there's a like there's a connection well especially because you're
feeding the children
you know there's there's always a connection i'm nice to the kids too yeah yeah
and i'm funny and you
know they like being around you like oh yeah yeah oh yeah um and what does some
of the kids ever bring
anything with them do they ever like are they like what do well we had some
come through the line and
one had a snake in his book bag really and the little girl brought her cat in
the book bag yeah they
you never know what they're gonna bring they brought a cat but we have security
that checks their bag so
i bet they've seen some more or something yeah like is that cat meowing i mean
that book bag
meowing over there is that the new style did she press a button and then when
she come through the
line they asked me for cat food i was like what you know i don't serve that but
what did they ask
you to do just put something in their bag for the cat like how'd you know no i
i no i just they heard
them and stuff and them them guys you know like i said they have to come
through uh the detector oh
they have a metal detector oh yeah we got metal oh so you're in the trenches oh
i'm in the lower
lower west side wow oh yeah y'all are in there wow oh yeah um okay so you have
some children will
bring a cat or a even a snake through um and do you think it's just because
they don't want to be
alone from their pet or they yeah probably just wanted to see their pets and
stuff like that
their parents probably didn't even know they snuck them out half the time you
know what i mean
so i mean if they could sometimes the kids would bled a dog and if they could
have so we could run
around yeah like do you see like at certain holidays what's that like at school
like around valentine's
or some kids seem kind of lonely or anything does that ever happen a little bit
but we they give
those little hearts out and they give candy and the bigger kids will give
flowers you know it's just
yeah they make a big and we have dances and stuff and the dances are in the
cafeteria sometimes yeah
most of the cafeteria is like where we have all our dances and everything and i'm
right there so
i like to dance with the kids really oh yeah i go and enjoy them yeah oh wow
you should work for
nickel oh man we've had a lot of fun yeah they let you guys dance with the
children at the dances
sure oh that's cool yeah i remember one time we had a guy named mr john and his
wife i think was a
teacher i don't know she was the teacher she just like was like the smartest
person in our area and
she would hang out at the school but she uh i got to dance with her one time at
a dance
oh it's pretty cool well we had she had my my principles were great with a lot
of things that
she does and we have a mother-son dance and things like that so i had some
buddies a long time ago and
they didn't have a mom so i went to the dance dance with them oh that's and
everything yeah they were
my buddies because we do like a buddy breakfast thing so i picked him as my
buddy yeah oh just
students yeah so you you kind of get close to some if you see somebody and they'll
say you want to be
my buddy yeah and then you're kind of like their friend they could talk to if
they're having a hard
day where they hug you every day so it's pretty cool oh it's important yep and
then wow a couple
times a year we eat with them talk about give them a present that's cool cool
yeah is it tough to see
some of the kids like grow and get and leave sometimes or there's some kids you're
like man
that kid's gonna like we really wish they could stay yeah i like wonder what
happened to some of them
that you really liked yeah you don't see that much no more um and some you see
and well they're not
really doing as well because i'm there in the neighborhood but uh i see so much
bad good you
know and then i love it when they come back and they're like oh i just got in
college or i'm doing
this or i'm about to go to uh nursing school or i did i then i'm very excited
that you know because
where we're at yeah so i i've a couple times uh we would i would tutor with the
kids you know help
the little ones with math or something um like whatever she asked like we tried
to do you know
i think we're like a mixture you know when they're away from their home we
could be their mom their
grandma their whatever if they're crying you want to go over make sure they're
all right see what they
want you have kids that'll chase you and hug you every day sometimes you got to
run yeah oh i run
sometimes i have to shut the door i'm like here she comes and everybody laughs
because she's so
beautiful and sweet but she drives us crazy yeah someone maybe alone yeah
someone get a little bit of
uh they get kind of just kind of uh they really cling yeah they'll hug you too
much yeah they'll lick you
even oh oh yeah you're right about that i've seen a child just didn't start
looking you're just like
what is going on with this child but um what is a kid that comes in that's kind
of heartbroken you
ever notice a kid that's having a tough time have you ever had a like oh i run
right over yeah oh gosh
yeah and what is some of that are you ever able to like over time do you be
able to pinpoint some
of the commonalities of what some of those moments are a lot of it is like um
another kid don't like
them yeah they're getting picked on or the they want to be friends with this
child and they don't
want to be friends with them oh it's so isn't that so big the kids it's very
yeah and i'm like looking
but then to them it's so big yeah so i always tell them you know if they don't
want it's okay
you know don't worry about it they'll be liking you tomorrow you know what i
mean this and that just
try to make them feel better and they get over and then you see them talking to
them they'll be best
friends yeah they just need help getting through that they just need to get
through and it is and
they're yeah so whenever we do see one down we i immediately want to go over to
that one and see
why yeah especially since we got a lot of kids that are smiling like me and
bubbly when i see them so
if they're not bubbly just like they do the same thing to me if i come to work
and i'm not feeling it
that day like there's just something wrong they can fill it oh they'll lift you
oh they come in and
they're like miss melissa you're right because they know that i'm not laughing
don't hear that big
loud laugh everywhere then there's something wrong with melissa that day that's
true yeah she i didn't
heard her laugh too much so yeah that's interesting you know we're the keys to
each other's locks that's
what my buddy always says he always oh yeah they they do they they can pick up
on it i noticed in nature
a lot of animals will kind of like fatten up for winter or whatever does that
happen with children
too do you think yeah i think so i do i think that they eat and they get more
in them for it
in the summertime they're like wanting to run around so much out there i see
that they eat
less and i see their lunch the garbage is heavier oh really in the summer than
it is in winter
i made a comment once i'm like wow i noticed that huh yeah because they want to
run outside i think and
so you think in the summer they're throwing more stuff away whereas yeah
because yeah because they
want to yeah i do because they're sitting there and there's nothing else to do
they're not going outside
you know but when they're like raring to go and it's beautiful out like you you'd
be like oh forget
it i don't want to finish this you know yeah i mean not me i'm gonna eat real
fast and then go but
you know that's a good point some kids are like oh it's too much fun out there
right that's what you
can feel your body want to go play like hide and go seek or something oh yeah
oh it's the worst for
a kid right it's like god i don't want to be eating right i could be having fun
yeah you know it
um what are the kids do they interact when they're at the table together and
stuff like what do kids
do or they just kind of eat their lunch like no they they talk argue um yeah
they interact with
each other and stuff through the whole lunch period and stuff like that uh i
can't really i'm like dumb
for a minute i've been dumb for so long here take it take a minute all right
yeah do you ever see
like a like milk come out of a kid's nose people always say that yeah oh i've
saw that a couple times
yeah oh yeah and the other day it was just funny just the other day they're
coming through the
lunch line and they were playing outside too hard and the little boy just
throwing up right in my
lunch oh yeah and i'm like okay i'm gonna look up and everybody's like i can't
look i'm like well
come on guys let's hurry up let's do this get them out of here yeah and i'm
telling the little ones
quit looking they're like oh yeah but yeah when stuff starts coming out of
their nose because they're
laughing or yeah they probably think of other things that they're gonna do you
know and you
gotta tell them don't take that food because it's gonna get warm and then you'll
get sick yeah yeah
kids i i think they're and they're just so like energetic at the time they'll
vomit for no reason
a lot of times oh yeah like somebody just pats them on the background i know
that's what i was saying
and i said yeah yeah see the same one still throwing he better quit playing i
would like to him to eat
first before he goes outside yeah and then let's put a diaper yeah that's right
um do our kids a lot
to bring phones in school these days yes no way yeah they're supposed to not
use this and and that
but they so some of them have phones out during the day i see kids with phones
no way i cannot even
imagine that yeah i never had a phone back then so yeah right that was such a
better vibe i feel
yeah yeah me too i think there's too much on on the phones yeah

What a School Lunch Lady Has Learned About Kids Over the Years

okay so you got the kids coming through the line um how does that what's the
energy there as they
start to come through are you usually does that is that exciting moment for the
lunch ladies
or is that kind of like oh you know now we gotta work it depends who you are i'm
gonna say it like
that like you know a lot of how do i say it i think the younger gen new
generation stuff they're
a little bit more slow and late you know it is kind of like but i get them
pumped we're like
we're like let's go you're like hot diggity dog and and and we got little ones
that come through the
line and i go what do you say and she's like if you touch it you take it i'm
like you got it girl
so so no we kind of boost them and get them laughing i like to wear like i play
around with them like
put different wigs on oh yeah you know i like to switch it up and i don't wear
a lot of makeup most
times so i put makeup on and all of them be like whoa you know just just make
it different yeah i
mean we like to try to do something different just so the kids are like wow you
know yeah it's a lot
of fun to play with them especially the little ones because they're fun they
are like what age are
still kids really enjoyable at um i'm gonna i'm gonna say the little ones up to
i don't know about
10 before they start getting a little mouthy and then they want to do their own
thing yeah then there
are some of them are like too cool for me they've been in school for like ever
and now they're too cool
for me they hugged me every day when they were little yeah and now they're like
i live in the
neighborhood so i see them all oh so you see a lot i see a lot of them yeah
what are some over what are
some things you've ever heard kids say that have been funny anything funny that
comes out of your
head over the years that are anything interesting or like because you're right
there on the eavesdropping
you're like i know it's just like it's so hard to think of things at the time
um i mean i i eavesdrop all
the time don't get me wrong amen because i hear stuff i'm not supposed to hear
i just i just tried
not to even you know yeah i'm thinking they did what and they're only what so
oh kids making out or
whatever different things that they talk through and i'm like a lot of these
kids oh man i don't even
want to hear all that now so i try to act like i'm not listening but uh like
some will talk sometimes
like a long time ago maybe about their parents or you get a little bit more
scoop than you should
know things going on and things going on yeah you probably shouldn't know yeah
people smoking this
at it yeah well their clothes smell like when they come in and what's some of
the interaction like with
them well you like the preschool and it's like come here baby they come first
yes okay so the littlest
the littlest kids the littlest kids come first oh wow yeah we get we get the
little ones and then we
move on up and at the last period is six seventh eighth those are the big ones
yeah so we start out
with these babies you know and you know they're all cute little babies then we
go to these big huge
kids which i don't know what they're feeding them anymore because you know they're
getting big
yeah yeah i got some big boys miss melissa hook me up and i'm like okay you
know yeah but yeah
we start out but the little ones there they come anywhere from four years old
and i think to about
14. okay unless they unless they you know failed a bunch of times and then they
might be a little
little oh yeah i mean you know we had a guy yeah yeah how many times he's been
here
yeah yeah he finally comes to one of you just hand him a um uh a uh what's a
thing you fill out to
work uh when you want to work somewhere yeah you just hand him a work
application oh yeah right right
you might as well you're gonna be you know 18 in a minute that happens a lot um
so what yeah what are
some of the kids kiddos that have come through some of the little buckarooties
that have come through
there like any unique like anybody bringing anything with like any stories they
bring with them or what's
going on with the kiddos well i mean i there are so many kids i see them
everywhere now like
the lady that's at the pharmacy she's a pharmacist she was one of my kids i go
to restaurants
um we go on a canoe ride and i started laughing i wasn't nowhere near cleveland
and they're like miss
melissa and we everywhere i go i brought into something i mean that's a lot of
years and they're
grown wow so they'll look at me and i'm like they're giving them money and they're
like are you
miss most i'm like yeah they're like i was like you were running my kids oh
that's cool but it's cool
yeah yeah yeah there's a like there's a connection well especially because you're
feeding the children
you know there's there's always a connection i'm nice to the kids too yeah yeah
and i'm funny and you
know they like being around you like oh yeah yeah oh yeah um and what does some
of the kids ever bring
anything with them do they ever like are they like what do well we had some
come through the line and
one had a snake in his book bag really and the little girl brought her cat in
the book bag yeah they
you never know what they're gonna bring they brought a cat but we have security
that checks their bag so
i bet they've seen some more or something yeah like is that cat meowing i mean
that book bag
meowing over there is that the new style did she press a button and then when
she come through the
line they asked me for cat food i was like what you know i don't serve that but
what did they ask
you to do just put something in their bag for the cat like how'd you know no i
i no i just they heard
them and stuff and them them guys you know like i said they have to come
through uh the detector oh
they have a metal detector oh yeah we got metal oh so you're in the trenches oh
i'm in the lower
lower west side wow oh yeah y'all are in there wow oh yeah um okay so you have
some children will
bring a cat or a even a snake through um and do you think it's just because
they don't want to be
alone from their pet or they yeah probably just wanted to see their pets and
stuff like that
their parents probably didn't even know they snuck them out half the time you
know what i mean
so i mean if they could sometimes the kids would bled a dog and if they could
have so we could run
around yeah like do you see like at certain holidays what's that like at school
like around valentine's
or some kids seem kind of lonely or anything does that ever happen a little bit
but we they give
those little hearts out and they give candy and the bigger kids will give
flowers you know it's just
yeah they make a big and we have dances and stuff and the dances are in the
cafeteria sometimes yeah
most of the cafeteria is like where we have all our dances and everything and i'm
right there so
i like to dance with the kids really oh yeah i go and enjoy them yeah oh wow
you should work for
nickel oh man we've had a lot of fun yeah they let you guys dance with the
children at the dances
sure oh that's cool yeah i remember one time we had a guy named mr john and his
wife i think was a
teacher i don't know she was the teacher she just like was like the smartest
person in our area and
she would hang out at the school but she uh i got to dance with her one time at
a dance
oh it's pretty cool well we had she had my my principles were great with a lot
of things that
she does and we have a mother-son dance and things like that so i had some
buddies a long time ago and
they didn't have a mom so i went to the dance dance with them oh that's and
everything yeah they were
my buddies because we do like a buddy breakfast thing so i picked him as my
buddy yeah oh just
students yeah so you you kind of get close to some if you see somebody and they'll
say you want to be
my buddy yeah and then you're kind of like their friend they could talk to if
they're having a hard
day where they hug you every day so it's pretty cool oh it's important yep and
then wow a couple
times a year we eat with them talk about give them a present that's cool cool
yeah is it tough to see
some of the kids like grow and get and leave sometimes or there's some kids you're
like man
that kid's gonna like we really wish they could stay yeah i like wonder what
happened to some of them
that you really liked yeah you don't see that much no more um and some you see
and well they're not
really doing as well because i'm there in the neighborhood but uh i see so much
bad good you
know and then i love it when they come back and they're like oh i just got in
college or i'm doing
this or i'm about to go to uh nursing school or i did i then i'm very excited
that you know because
where we're at yeah so i i've a couple times uh we would i would tutor with the
kids you know help
the little ones with math or something um like whatever she asked like we tried
to do you know
i think we're like a mixture you know when they're away from their home we
could be their mom their
grandma their whatever if they're crying you want to go over make sure they're
all right see what they
want you have kids that'll chase you and hug you every day sometimes you got to
run yeah oh i run
sometimes i have to shut the door i'm like here she comes and everybody laughs
because she's so
beautiful and sweet but she drives us crazy yeah someone maybe alone yeah
someone get a little bit of
uh they get kind of just kind of uh they really cling yeah they'll hug you too
much yeah they'll lick you
even oh oh yeah you're right about that i've seen a child just didn't start
looking you're just like
what is going on with this child but um what is a kid that comes in that's kind
of heartbroken you
ever notice a kid that's having a tough time have you ever had a like oh i run
right over yeah oh gosh
yeah and what is some of that are you ever able to like over time do you be
able to pinpoint some
of the commonalities of what some of those moments are a lot of it is like um
another kid don't like
them yeah they're getting picked on or the they want to be friends with this
child and they don't
want to be friends with them oh it's so isn't that so big the kids it's very
yeah and i'm like looking
but then to them it's so big yeah so i always tell them you know if they don't
want it's okay
you know don't worry about it they'll be liking you tomorrow you know what i
mean this and that just
try to make them feel better and they get over and then you see them talking to
them they'll be best
friends yeah they just need help getting through that they just need to get
through and it is and
they're yeah so whenever we do see one down we i immediately want to go over to
that one and see
why yeah especially since we got a lot of kids that are smiling like me and
bubbly when i see them so
if they're not bubbly just like they do the same thing to me if i come to work
and i'm not feeling it
that day like there's just something wrong they can fill it oh they'll lift you
oh they come in and
they're like miss melissa you're right because they know that i'm not laughing
don't hear that big
loud laugh everywhere then there's something wrong with melissa that day that's
true yeah she i didn't
heard her laugh too much so yeah that's interesting you know we're the keys to
each other's locks that's
what my buddy always says he always oh yeah they they do they they can pick up
on it i noticed in nature
a lot of animals will kind of like fatten up for winter or whatever does that
happen with children
too do you think yeah i think so i do i think that they eat and they get more
in them for it
in the summertime they're like wanting to run around so much out there i see
that they eat
less and i see their lunch the garbage is heavier oh really in the summer than
it is in winter
i made a comment once i'm like wow i noticed that huh yeah because they want to
run outside i think and
so you think in the summer they're throwing more stuff away whereas yeah
because yeah becaus