Name: Theo Goes Off on What He's Thankful For
Uploaded: 2024-11-27T21:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Goes Off on What He's Thankful For' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Goes Off on What He's Thankful For' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-27. Transcript available.

It's Thanksgiving, guys, that's what it is, you know, and that's the week it is,
and it's
a time, you know, Thanksgiving, it's wild that our calendar, that even our
calendar,
right, our setup, our framework, our time-based framework for our society and
for civilization
has a stop time in it to give thanks, it's interesting that even time says, hey,
hold on, I need
you to give some thanks, I need you to, you have to have some gratitude here,
you know,
and I think that that, to me, that's pretty fascinating, that that is a speed
bump that's
been put into our calendar, it's just built in there, you know, it's a comma.
That says, hey, care, right?
Care about the things that have happened to you, you know, find things to have
gratitude
for.
And so, yeah, I want to think about those today and just things that I'm
thankful for.
I'm thankful, yeah, being able to whisper, that's a big one.
I'm so thankful for that.
Because otherwise, everybody in your family would just wouldn't know how you
felt about
them.
So I'm just so thankful that God lets us whisper, you know.
I'm thankful for my family, you know.
I'm thankful that my sister makes me laugh a lot and that she likes to laugh.
I like listening to her laugh sometimes.
She's ridiculous and that makes me laugh.
I'm thankful my nephew talks to me.
You know, I wish he kind of hit my line more, but I guess he's busy or whatever.
Sure, whatever, dude.
But he's a child, you know, and it's like I just got to be an adult and just
take care
of myself.
But, oh, I'm thankful that urine isn't hotter than it is when it comes out of
your body.
That would be crazy, bro, if you were, you know, if urine just came out like
even 10 degrees
hotter, bro.
Because you'd go in the bathroom and they'd have one dude in there about to urinate
and
everybody else would be supporting him.
And like, you, come on, Richard.
Come on, Richard.
Blast that shit, homie.
And he'd be like, it's going to hurt.
And he'd be like, shut the fuck up, Richard.
Piss, bitch.
And people were like, whoa, chill out, dude.
He's fucking, it's hot, you know.
And people, and there'd be a gay dude just kind of holding his back for no
reason, just
or even pushing on his butt.
That's the weird thing, dude.
If you're doing a group piss, right, and everybody's supporting one guy who has
to piss, and the
dude that's pushing up on the dude's, on the guy's butt, that guy is not just
trying to be
helpful.
I know that, boy.
So, yeah, I'm grateful that pee-pee is at, or urine or whatever they want to
call it, is
at a manageable temperature.
That's a big one.
I'm grateful that God, um, that God lets me try.
You know, I'm grateful that God lets me try.
You know, that, uh, every single thing isn't final.
Um, yeah, I'm grateful for that.
I'm grateful that, um, that my arms are, you know, they're not the best.
I think they're not the best length.
I got, I got medium-length arms, but I know that they're good enough to hug,
good enough.
I wouldn't win a hug title or whatever.
I don't know if there is a title.
Yeah, what else?
Let me think.
I'll think about some things throughout the show, throughout the episode today.
Uh, things that I'm thankful for, man.
I'm thankful that I have some shoes on right now.
Um, let me think about what else I'm thankful for, man.
I'm thankful that, uh, I have buddies that check in on me.
I, I need to do a better job of that, or I would like to do a better job of
that in the
coming year of checking in on, uh, people and checking in on myself.
You know, I want to make sure I do a better job of that.
Uh, what else am I thankful for?
Um, oh, I'm thankful my buddy, uh, Jeremy just had a new baby, his third son.
Him and his wife, Natalie, just had a child and they just have a blessed, just
man, him
and my buddy Curtis, they, they run a, uh, speed and strength, um, training, a
training
group over here in Nashville.
And it just, those guys are like, they're like the best part of my week when I
get to
be over there and just laugh with everybody.
And we have so much fun and they really uplift a lot of, a lot of the community
here.
And so, yeah, that's something I'm thankful for that.
He had a healthy son.
Um, what else am I thankful for?
Uh, I'm thankful.
I got to go to my buddy Scott's wedding this year.
I'm thankful.
I got to see my friend the other night.
Um, I'm thankful that God lets me think about other people and that I can try
hard, that
I can, you know, that if there's patches where I go through, where I get stuck,
stuck in myself
that I can come out of those, you know, we're not so every thought doesn't have
to be a sentence,
like a life sentence, you know, or that every feeling isn't like a life
sentence, even though
there are moments sometimes where they think it feels like they might be, they're
not.
Um, I'm thankful.
You can see somebody that'll change your vibe, you know, or change, you can
hear a song that'll
change your energy and you can choose to hear those things too.
Uh, what else?
Yeah, I'm thankful that some of the mistakes I've made haven't, um, haven't put
me in places
that, uh, make things very tough on me from day to day.
You know, that's been a lot of grace from God in those spaces.
Um, what else?
What do you think about Trevin?
Any other thing else?
Any other gratitudes coming into your head?
I'm thankful for friends.
Like you said, being able to be able to think about, you know, being grateful
in itself.
You know what I mean?
Being able to take the time to.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm thankful.
God lets me see different things or whatever.
See animals, bro.
I would hate that shit.
If you were at the zoo and your people were just telling you what the animals
look like
or whatever.
And then the guy starts touching you on the back or whatever.
You're like, this guy's a pedophile or whatever.
You know, who, who am I even with dude?
That's the kind of scary shit that's out there.
Um, what else do we got?