Name: The Effects of P*rn and Online Dating Go Deeper Than We Think
Uploaded: 2024-12-02T19:14:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Effects of P*rn and Online Dating Go Deeper Than We Think' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Effects of P*rn and Online Dating Go Deeper Than We Think' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-02. Transcript available.

So what you got to do is, what I'm trying to do with my sons is I'm trying to
encourage them to
say, okay, get up, talk to strangers, talk to strange women. Also, kind of a
segue here,
try and modulate your use of porn such that at some point you become so fucking
horny you're
willing to take those risks. Yeah, now that's it. Let's, we can wait, we can
definitely go there,
brother. Because yeah, I think that was something that I got sidetracked with
pornography for sure,
man, you know, and I'll tell you why too. For pornography, for me, it was, it
was a
relationship that I could manage, right? It was the first kind of interaction
with women. It felt
like that I could manage this. It's, it's like, it's low risk. It's a, it's, it's
available when
you need it to start and when you need it to stop. Right. It was like, that was
something that was
very manageable for me. But then over time it starts, you realize that it kind
of devalues women.
It makes you think of sex, like in just like still frames and instances. Right.
And, and he would see
sex as individual scenes of things. I would have a date set up. Then I would
end up, uh, masturbating
and then I wouldn't even go on the date because they're like, well, now I don't
feel any fire
inside of me. Who's your mojo? Yeah. And that, and then you do that for a
decade and you don't,
your mojo is a ghost. But we were talking about school and society and, and a
bias against men
that, that hurts men. Right. And what I would say is that one of the biggest
obstacles men face right
now is the most talented, deepest resource companies in the world that attract
the brightest minds and the
most capital and have the best technology are all trying to do the same thing.
They're all trying to
give men the false impression. They can have a reasonable facsimile of life on
a screen with an
algorithm. You don't need friends. With a facsimile, I'm sorry. They, they can
have a fake life. They
can have a life on a screen with an algorithm. Oh yeah. So you don't need
friends. Having friends
is hard. Remember making your posse of friends and in elementary and junior
high, trying to break into
the right, the right pecking order of friends. It was high barriers of entry,
but it was high barriers
of exit. Right. And you learned a lot together and we used to take off, you
know, I think parents
overprotect their kids. Now I used to leave my mom's house at nine in the
morning on a Saturday with a
Schwinn bike and Abba Zabba bar on 35 cents. And she wouldn't see me for 14
hours, but what are tech
companies? What are the brightest companies in the world that are the most well
resourced? You don't
need friends. You got Reddit and discord. You don't need to go through the humiliation
of trying to get
a job and buying a suit and showing up on time, trade crypto or stocks on Coinbase
or Robin hood.
You don't need to go through the humiliation, the rejection, the perseverance
of trying to establish a
romantic relationship, going on dates, being funny, trying hard, enduring
rejection, following up.
Why? Why would you do that? You got you porn. And what we got to tell men, what
we got to convince
them of is over the longterm, nothing wonderful is going to happen to you on a
screen ever. And also
you porn is a distant second to your porn. I'm convinced I wouldn't have
graduated from UCLA
if I didn't think there was a reasonable probability that if I went to class
and went on campus at UCLA,
I might meet someone. That was my far. And I, quite frankly, if I had you porn
at home and I had these
new AI girlfriends, I'm not sure I would have ever gone on campus. So this is
what young men are facing.
They're facing a low risk, low barrier of entry, reasonable facsimile of life
that over time,
they get depressed and lonely because the reason romantic comedies are two
hours and not 15 minutes
is this shit is hard. But here's the good news. It's worth it. It's absolutely
worth it.
What do you think of the effects of like social media or on young men?
Oh, it's a disaster. There's my colleague at NYU, Jonathan Haidt. He wrote this
book
called The Anxious Generation. Jonathan Haidt? Haidt. Jonathan Haidt. H-I-D-T.
Okay. Essentially, there's a lot of peer-reviewed research, including research
that just came out
of Oxford showing that there's about a 60% increase in self-harm, eating
disorders,
and anxiety for people who spend too much time on social media. Imagine, did
you have social media
when you were in school? No, dude. You had to yell at somebody, right?
But imagine the cafeteria. Graffiti. That was the only social media you had,
dude.
You'd be like, you know, Larry likes dudes. And it was like, well, who knows,
bro?
But it never told you their last name. It was very, and it would be like, but
now even graffiti,
dude, especially like in Brooklyn, it's so, it's like, Larry likes dudes, but
only if he's okay
with it. I read that. And I was like, that's not, what is it? Everything's
fucking confusing,
dude. Nobody cared if Larry liked dudes or not. It was just the fact that
somebody got to say it,
you know? And then now it's like, only if he's cool with it. It's like, who's
right?
Anyway, what are you going to say?
The bottom line is social media is bad. It's bad for teen girls and it's bad,
really bad
for young men. There's a direct, there's a linear correlation between anxiety,
eating disorders
with young women, anxiety with men, because it's like, you never get to leave
the high school
cafeteria. And it's especially hard on girls in high school because boys bully
physically
and verbally girls bully relationally. And we put these nuclear weapons in
their hands.
They're actually a little bit, it can be a little bit meaner. And so, and then
you take
online dating. Anytime you digitize a sector, it becomes a winner take most
environment. So
okay. Say that one more time. Anytime you digitize a sector, like what does
that mean?
Anytime a sector becomes all about the internet. So retail used to be stores.
It becomes online.
Amazon now controls 50% of all e-commerce, right? We used to go to the Encyclopedia
Britannica,
to the library, to Microfeature, to different newspapers. Now we go to Google.
Google has 93%
of search. Social Facebook and Meta owns two thirds of all social media. Online
dating, everyone
has access to everyone. You think that's good? It's not because women all want
the same dude.
And if you have 50 men on Tinder and 50 women, 46 of the women will show all of
their attention
to just four men.
Wow.
So that leaves 46 men fighting over four women. And the reality is those women
can have sex
with the top 10%, but they're usually not going to have a relationship. And
because that top
10% of men get 80 to 90% of the opportunities, they can engage in what I refer
to as partial polygamy.
And that is it doesn't encourage long-term good behavior. It doesn't encourage
them to settle
down. Whereas when we were kids, you went to your church, your temple, your
high school,
and you kind of figured out your weight class. There were eight single women at
your temple,
eight single men, and you sort of paired off. And men had an opportunity to
demonstrate
excellence at some point. If you talk to married couples that have been
together longer than 30 years,
75% of them say one was much more interested than the other and was always the
man who was much
more interested. But over time, she saw that he was kind.
Wow.
She worked with him. He was good at what he did. So where do men demonstrate
excellence now?
And then a man goes online. Here, check out this stat. On Tinder, a man of
average attractiveness
has to swipe right 200 times to get one swipe back for one coffee. And then
four of five of those
coffees will ghost him. Her screen will come up again and she'll decide not to
show up for a coffee.
So a guy of average attractiveness on a dating app has to swipe right 1,000
times to get a coffee. So
he feels rejected by women. He becomes much more prone to misogynistic content
online, prone to
conspiracy theory, less likely to believe in climate change.
And he's hopped up on caffeine too, because he's been fucking sitting there sipping
by himself,
you know?
In some, he becomes a shitty citizen. So social media and online dating have
been really bad for
young men and women. I think online dating has been especially rough on men.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't like to be online dating. I haven't been on, I'm like seven
years off of it.
Raya won't let me on there because I told an awesome joke on Twitter that they
got offended by,
I guess. But I also, I didn't want somebody to be able to say no to me when I
wasn't there in
person. That's how it felt to me. I just didn't want to give somebody that
pleasure that they could
say no. And even though it's not a real no, it, you know, it's all very
hypothetical, but I just
didn't want to allow somebody to have that. But then also by not doing that, it's,
it is hard.
You have to meet people in real time, in real life, you know? And so it is more
of a challenge,
but it's also, you know, it is, I guess you're just feeling like you're not
getting rejected.
Thank you.