Name: Mall Cop Says Most Santas are Drunk
Uploaded: 2024-12-20T14:30:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mall Cop Says Most Santas are Drunk' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mall Cop Says Most Santas are Drunk' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-20. Transcript available.

have you ever had to protect like a mall santa or anything like that yes or
what's it like when
the mall santa's come give me take me through some uh christmas time lore okay
so the mall
santa situation is always a fun one because um eight out of ten times he's a
drunk really oh yeah
you get you you will you will honestly get a santa guy that comes in there who
dedicates his
life to being santa all year long who can't wait to go to the mall to do the santa
thing and then
you got guys like me who are like i just need a job for like the season it's a
seasonal job you know
but i've had guys literally pull up drunk you know like hey where do i go i'm
like who are you santa
it's like oh come on over here um the santa the the drunk santas were always
fun because
they had the drugs they they had the weed um and they were the funniest with
the kids because they
were the nicest yeah the the guys that actually did the santa full year they
would get irritated
through the first two hours the drunk ones would be like hell yeah i'll get
your ferrari anything you
want you know yeah so i used to hang out with the those those santas uh during
the season i'll get
your mom a half pound of cock you feel me that's crazy that's stupid actually
you know i've actually
heard a santa hit on on her mom and yeah and he should dude it's he said i got
a present for you to
unwrap oh santa should get every the first woman the first guy any woman should
want is santa who's
your husband and you're like uh you know he plays for the mets or whatever i'm
like
bitch my husband is santa um we had sand on the podcast show a clip of that guy
let's just
get a look at him he was amazing man oh he's got the full look at him he got a
championship belt on
and look at him he is the world champion of santa's it was so cool to meet him
dude we were excited how
long is he how long did he do it for he was in the game i think 26 years he did
mall santa stuff
he was sanning he'd done all types he'd done it from everywhere across the
globe from guamna
um oh wow connecticut yeah he'd done everywhere um and what was it like anybody
ever any issues with
mall santa's or anything like that uh one one one santa had to get fired his
third day and i think
because uh he fought a parent because the kid asked for something and the
parent was going like this
trying to tell tell santa like tell him no tell him no it's like santa's not
allowed to say no you know
what i mean well the kid was just asking for like toys like basic ass toys but
i guess the kid was a bad
kid and this was supposed to be a lesson to the kid but the parent didn't let
us in on the on the jam so
the kid starts telling um santa like hey you know i want this toy this toy this
toy he's like oh yeah
this dad and she's like no tell him no and like you can see him kind of like
okay so he keeps going
on then the dad walks up and he starts still telling the story or telling what
toys he wants and the santa
starts just eyeballing the dad because now the dad's like doing this so the kid
gets up and now the dad
walks over and says hey man we're telling you no and he's like hey i i don't
know what you're telling
me no he's just asking for toys and the the dad kind of just did like this
little backhand to it
like he's like shut up just just kind of backhand it literally a transformer he
went from santa to
whatever his name because he stood up and literally as he stood up the beard
the hat and everything just
kind of came off the whole top he's like what and they just started fighting
right there on the spot
he's like he started santa started hitting them i kind of stepped in the middle
pushed the mom back
because the mom started clawing at us and then the kids like he the kid
literally standing there going
what did i he he yelled am i getting a bike yeah he said i just want to know
you know but he literally
yelled out what did i do wrong and i'm like oh man you didn't like in my head
you didn't do nothing
wrong with your parents you know yeah but i and later on and the cops came the
parents were explaining
that we're trying to teach him a lesson we brought him here because we want to
talk to santa and all
this and i'm like well you ended up getting your ass whooped yeah so what's the
lesson here yeah you
shouldn't you can't attack santa because he has met because he's the best that's
why yeah and bro you
don't know who's under that santa you know no way
you