Name: Who's on the Mt. Rushmore of Boston?
Uploaded: 2025-01-09T23:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who's on the Mt. Rushmore of Boston?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who's on the Mt. Rushmore of Boston?' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-09. Transcript available.

Yeah, I'm trying to think if you seem like, uh, because what are you? You are...
Um, I am a mech.
So, um, I'm Irish.
You're Irish.
Like, pretty, pretty inbreded.
Yeah.
Okay.
Nope, no, no, yeah, no judgment for me here.
I, um, yeah, I think, yeah, Irish or, some people are really fucking Irish.
Have you seen that video of that baby?
He's, like, breastfeeding and he orders another tit or whatever?
Oh, my God.
That, no, I haven't seen that, but that's classic.
It's the most Irish shit of it.
That's about, pretty much the way I was.
He, like, orders a round for everybody in the room.
Or something.
It's some, they're breastfeeding it like a family thing or whatever, like a
birthday or whatever.
So, you're from, originally you're from where at?
I'm from Boston, but, like, outside of Boston.
Okay.
Yeah.
And do people from outside of Boston look differently at people than inside of
Boston?
Um, oh, culturally, probably.
There was, um, there was this thing in the 70s called busing where they brought,
um, African-American children into the city and, uh...
For schooling and stuff?
For schooling, yeah.
Okay.
So, so, uh, some people didn't like that, so those people, they left.
And that is, unfortunately, where I come from.
That's just, oh, that's for your family.
Yeah.
You were birthed out of those people.
Yeah.
Those were those guys.
People make their choices, you know?
Um, they have, yeah, they have, yeah, because Boston's interesting.
They got a lot of racism up there, you know?
Yeah, but it's, you know, uh, it's not as, um, loud as it is down here, so it's,
uh...
South, it's more, the South has more of that kind of slave magic history, you
know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we, we just have, uh, just little innuendos of bad history and bad, uh,
bad things we did, I guess.
It's still up there, though, for sure.
Yeah, it depends on what side you're on, but yeah.
You should just meet my dad.
Really?
Yeah, you know, you'll see it there.
Is he a fireman or no?
Uh, no, he wanted to be a police officer, ended up being an electrician, but he
fucked that up, too.
What, doing electricity?
Uh, yeah, he, uh, he got electrocuted.
Oh, he did?
Yeah, on the job.
Oh, yeah.
He said he saw God, he started, he started to be a believer, and, uh, Tyler
Childers walked him into heaven.
Tyler Childers?
Yes, Childers, yes.
The musician?
The musician walked him into the, the pearly gates, so that's my father.
You almost gotta believe him.
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah.
You know, I mean, that's a real...
But, like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know, I don't know what that
illusion was with him.
Yeah, that's true, yeah.
I'm not really sure.
Yeah, why would a guy who's not even dead come and help you?
That's nice of him.
Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me, I was like, oh, that's pretend.
Yeah, that's when it got a little fictional.
Yeah, like, you were having a bad dream, and then you woke up, and you were
blasted.
Who's on the, who was on your Boston, um, Mount Rushmore?
We've got, um, Ben Affleck.
Oh, yeah.
Matt Damon.
Mm-hmm.
And then it used to be, it used to be, uh, Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me.
Because he wakes up too early in the morning, and, uh, gets, gets too swollen,
too early.
Yeah, it got him, got bizarre, but he was also selling liquor, too.
That was a strange, I was like, you're, it's selling a liquor, but you're also
up so early,
how do, you know?
His hands are in too many baskets.
I don't trust him.
He has his hands in too many things.
Does he seem like, do you think he still has the pulse of the streets in Boston,
or no?
Pff, nah.
I think he lost that.
He went full Hollywood.
He might have.
He lost us.
He moved to Vegas now, I think.
I think he lives in Las Vegas.
Yeah.
Nice guy.
Busy man.
Busy.
He's busy.
Done a lot.
He has.
And it starts early on.
Beating the shit out of an Asian guy, all that jazz.
He did that?
He did that.
Oh, I didn't hear all that.
Oh.
You can't get caught.
He's not stopping Asian hate at all.
Who's on my Mount Rushmore, I wonder?
Yeah.
From where you're from.
Oh, from where I'm from?
I'm trying to think of my Boston one.
Oh, my Boston one would be, is it okay if I do a Boston one?
Oh, please, please.
Be my guest.
Oh, Will Hunting.
So you got him.
You got Tom Brady.
You got Dutch Smith from, bring up Dutch Smith.
This is him.
He's following an arson over the weekend.
Police say a teenager is responsible for all that damage.
News Watch 16th's Nikki Crys joins us live from the Central Pennsylvania Newsroom
with more tonight.
Nikki.
Julie, a lot of people in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed
because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts.
Today, we also learned new information about the teenage girl police charged
with setting the place on fire.
Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin' Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shemokin.
The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire
damage.
There's a lot of people that's definitely going to miss it, no doubt about it.
A teenager is charged with starting a fire inside the restaurant on Saturday
night.
Go further down.
They start interviewing people.
Oh, back up.
Many people who live in Shemokin are upset that Dunkin' Donuts is closed.
Now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a Turkey Hill or something where I
don't like their donuts.
I'd rather the donuts at Dunkin' Donuts.
And I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin' Donuts.
I go there every day.
I get a chicken baker croissant or I get some coffee, Powerade if I'm dehydrated.
I sit there all the time.
If I have any legal work that I need to do, I go there.
I meet with my attorneys there.
I'm going to miss that place if it don't open up.
That's classic.
A lot of my friends go in there, get the cold coffee, iced coffee I guess it's
called.
What a fucking Motley Crue that is.
So, the guy in the middle was like, yeah, I get stay dehydrated, meet my
attorney up there, my boy Dutch Smith.
He's on my-
He's on your mom restaurant?
He's on my-
Is he also like on your team?
Like, I feel like you know him.
The Dunkin' Donuts over there.
I got to talk to my lawyers.
He's like, I got to do some legal work.
When you got to do legal work, you got to go to Dunk's.
Yeah, he's like-
That's classic.
Oh, yeah.
What do they call up there?
Ice cold coffee?
Ice coffee?
That lady like-
That was good.
What do they call it?
Cold coffee?
He's a freaking crazy person.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
Meet me at the Dunk's on 15th and 2nd.
We'll get to the legal work.
We got some legal work.
That is so good.
And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.
Nah.
And why do they say cock up there?
Cock.
Yeah.
It's just, there's no way, no, there's no, it's not, it's not a way for a woman
to talk.
Cock.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
I was going in, I had a show out right outside of, not Medford, I don't know
where it is.
Is that right outside of the city?
Medford, yeah.
Medford.
That's a town.
And I had a show right out there and some guy's walking up with his wife.
They're eating a piece of pizza and he's like, Doris, that's the guy.
That's the guy.
We're going to give him your pizza.
Give him your pizza.
And Doris, they're both eating.
You can tell they just got a snack.
They're running over.
They're running a few minutes late.
I'm like, don't give me her.
He's like, give me a fucking pizza, Doris.
You fucking bitch.
So now, yeah.
I love this guy.
Yeah, that's how he is.
I don't love you.
I don't love you.
Yeah, yeah, fuck it.
I'm like, I want to see him, Doris.
So Doris gives me her pizza and then they go inside.
The guy's just eating.
I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, Mickey?
Oh, my God.
I'm just like, what?
Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there.
They'll throw their wives across a car to impress their boys.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They get more about their boys.
They're kind of gay for it.
Oh, they're definitely.
Just to get a whiff of Pedroia's fucking catcher's mitt.
Yeah.
Um...
Thank you.