Name: Mark Zuckerberg Thinks Back on the Beginning of Facebook
Uploaded: 2025-04-29T12:30:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Zuckerberg Thinks Back on the Beginning of Facebook' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Zuckerberg Thinks Back on the Beginning of Facebook' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-29. Transcript available.

- And where did you meet your wife at?
- I met her in school.
So we were in college and I had just done this prank
and all my friends and everyone was convinced,
we were all convinced I was gonna get thrown out of school.
- Okay, and where were you in school at, Mark?
- Harvard.
- Okay.
- And so I was a sophomore, she was a freshman.
My friends were convinced I was about
to get kicked out of school.
I was like going in front of this like trial
for the kind of like school discipline committee.
My friends threw a going away party for me.
And it was in the bathroom line at the end of the party
where I was just like next to Priscilla
and we were talking.
- You had nothing to lose, it was your last meal.
- I was just like, look, man, like it's, you know,
I have a pregnancy man, but it was not very romantic situation.
It's like, we're waiting in line for the bathroom.
She's just funny, she's just cute.
And it's like, I was like, all right, hey,
you know, if we're going to go out,
we better go do this quickly.
Cause I'm probably going to get kicked out of school
in like two or three days.
It's like, that's a good pickup line, right?
It's like, yeah, that's, that's how you really show
that you have potential in the world, right?
It's you know, it's-
- Well, it's a limited time offer.
- Yeah, but it's not like very aspirational.
It's like, hey, it's like, I'm going nowhere in life
and I'm about to get kicked out of school.
So you're going to want to, you know,
you're going to want to go out with me really quickly.
- Right. It's like, yeah, I guess another way to look at it
is very sail rack in a way, you know?
- Very sail rack. Yeah.
So, but, but I mean, but everyone I knew thought
that this whole thing was over.
I mean, my parents drove up, we lived in New York.
They drove up to help me pack up my dorm room.
Cause they were like, it's over, you're coming home.
Yeah, but it didn't.
Then of course I made Facebook
and a few months later I dropped out anyway.
So joke's on them, but, but it's,
but that's, that's how, yeah, no, that's-
- Did you have to go to the trial at school or you didn't?
- Oh, no, I did.
- Oh, you did?
- And it was like, the questions that they asked were even worse
than the questions that I get at like the congressional hearings.
It was like, don't you know
that once you put this terrible prank website online,
it is there forever.
And it's like, no, actually that's not how it works.
The site's already down.
They're like, you're a smart ass.
And I'm like, yeah, that's probably true.
That's probably true, but, but-
- But half of a smart ass also is smart.
- Yeah. - So that's good.
- I'll take that, yeah.
- It's better than being a dumb ass.
- Yeah, well, you know, it's like maybe smart
and a little bit of an ass.
You know, it's, it works.
- Yeah, I'd rather be a smart ass, I think.
Do you know about, what was a prank site?
What was it, that wasn't Facebook though.
- No, no, it was this thing called Facemash,
which, you know, in the whole lore of the thing,
there's this whole movie that got made about all this stuff.
And they made it seem like Facemash
was a predecessor to Facebook.
It wasn't, when I was in college,
I just like making things.
So whether it's statues or minivans
or internets or glasses, like whatever,
you know, I just like making stuff.
- You like being creative.
- Yeah, so I, so like I, so, it was,
it was very mean-spirited.
It was very mean-spirited.
I basically, I downloaded everyone's ID photos
from their ID cards.
And I made the site where it showed two photos
and you clicked on the person you thought
was more attractive.
And then it used, and it basically looked,
took all the match-ups and ranked everyone in the school
based on who everyone thought was the most attractive.
Very mean-spirited in retrospect,
not connected to Facebook in any way.
- Right, but just like a...
- Just like, just a college kid kind of being a jerk.
- Yeah.
- But you know, it's like, okay, so that was not my,
not my best move.
But you gotta take, you know, it's baby steps.
- I mean, yeah.
- And also pretty cool to make something.
- Some of the things I did were useful and fun.
That one, I put it together in a weekend.
Not my best work as, yeah, no, not my best work, but-
- That's fair, not your best work, you know?
- Not my best work.
- Yeah, we've all had things that we made that weren't,
you know, that weren't the best, probably.
- You know, when I was in college,
I wasn't there for long, but I mean,
I was technically a psychology major.
I mean, I took a bunch of computer science
and math classes too, but-
- Dude, if somebody even went to Harvard for four days, dude,
I would hire them to be my therapist or whatever.
- Yeah, I wouldn't.
- Really?
- No, it's, I mean, I don't know.
I think I'd rather have someone who,
I definitely subscribe to the theory of like,
you want people who did well at whatever they did,
not just like who have some random credential.
- Oh yeah.
- So yeah, I guess, but where I'm from,
if you heard Harvard, it was like somebody had gone
to like Mars or something, it was very, you know.
- Yeah, no, I get it.
- So, but I think, so it kind of differs from place to place.
Whenever you drop, whenever you,
did you have to tell your parents
you were dropping out of college, was that a crazy day?
Did you DM them or would you do?
- So, I mean, I'd already started Facebook
and Harvard had this nice policy where you,
you didn't have to make a hard decision to drop out,
you could just postpone.
So I just didn't go back for the next term.
But later, my mom told me that she always knew
that I wasn't gonna finish college.
I was like, "Mom, what the hell does that mean?"
But no, but actually-
- But that's gotta be the worst, imagine this, okay.
Say your son or child or daughter
or mixed child or whatever.
Imagine it's a big test at school, right?
You have to hug your kid goodbye.
You know your kid is not gonna do good on that test, right?
But you still have to stay in there in the kitchen
and give him a little bit of chocolate milk
and be like, "You're gonna do good out there today,
Benny," or whatever his name is, right?
- But then the second he leaves,
you're just like, "Oh, kid doesn't have a shirt," you know?
- Benny's screwed, yeah, Benny's screwed.
No, I don't know.
- I don't know what we're talking about.
- I don't know what it's like.
No, but my younger sister-
- Is our conversation going okay?
I feel like it's cool with you.
- Yeah, no, this is, I mean,
it's less random than I expect it to be, you know?
- It is?
- I'm just kidding.
- Yeah, I think it's just hard
to talk sometimes to people.
- No, before I went to college, my mom, I think,
told me that she thought I was gonna drop out.
My younger sister bet me
that she was gonna finish college before me.
- Ooh, I like that attitude.
- And I was like, "Nah, I'm gonna get a degree."
And they all came true.
I dropped out, my younger sister finished college,
and then I got an honorary degree.
So, you know, bonus.
- Oh, you got a, they gave you that?
- I know, yeah.
- Oh, dang, did you even get your GED at all either?
- No, I did finish high school.
- You did?
- GED's high school, right, is that?
- I don't know, I think they make a GED premiere now.
- I don't know, I don't know, anyone?
No, no?
- GED's high school equivalent.
- All right, thank you.
I got a real, I got a high school diploma.
- You got a high school diploma, yeah.
- That's my education.
- Dude, that's 94% of our country,
so you're in good hands, brother.
You're right there with some of the greats.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.
- I got a high school diploma.