Name: Theo and Glenny Tell Their Favorite 4th of July Stories
Uploaded: 2025-07-04T03:14:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Glenny Tell Their Favorite 4th of July Stories' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Glenny Tell Their Favorite 4th of July Stories' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-04. Transcript available.

yeah do you think you had a um and we just peed we both peed we did dude i had
freaking
penis hurts yeah that may not be good and you're been doing that touch touch
touch
so feel bad about that a little bit ah whatever man yeah how was your all you
ever had a great
fourth of july that you really like a great fourth of july i mean honestly this
is gonna
sound sappy but i love just hanging out with my pals like i got great friends i
love hanging out
with them my buddies my best friend johnny's grandpa used to do a sick fourth july
party
every year and he has like really nice house on the water on the island he
would get like a like
a professional oyster shucker like cigar cutters i think there was a frank sinatra
impersonator one
year i'm pretty sure there was one year there was and he's got his boat going
on there just hanging
out in the water with the boys yeah that's good enough for me that's a real
real good day for me
that is a great day yeah some drink right on the water just some drinks like i
truly i do think i'm
happiest in my life when i'm having a few drinks and just in the water just
floating in the water
it's it's the greatest and 94 july could do that it's nice just pool friends
family yeah do you
remember when we went to jimmy john's summer camp last year and we got to just
sit in that
place you guys were having some drinks in that circle that little we sat in
that thing for like
five hours that was so nice dude that was like that's my ideal day just sitting
in the water is
like i'm trying to picture how we could even describe it it was like a disc it
was a disc
float and then in the netting is like where we sit so it was almost like a
aquatic pouch that we
were sitting in yes and we just laid in there for five hours like literally all
day and it was
fantastic it's like a kiddie pool that'll kind of that's bigger than that
though it's like stronger
sides and it'll kind of float around in a lake or something that was also the
first time i jet
skied was with you that was very scared i was very scared i'm really worried
about jet skiing
because if i fall off the jet ski i'm scared i won't be able to get back up and
then i'm just
going to be stuck in the lake which i don't want to do but that was my first
time ever jet skiing
dang that's crazy man it's a freeing experience they go fast they go real fast
they go way first
of all way too fast exactly and i'm a pussy like i can't do stuff that fast i'm
horrible at that like
i'm really scared of falling off the jet ski so i don't know if i'll do it
again this year i
probably will yeah i don't think i'm a pussy i just don't think that i'm a i'm
not also not a
um like magician or like a televangelist or whatever it is like you know i'm
not like a um
what are they called like i'm not like a punt returner those guys you know what
i'm saying it's
like you were spinning around on that thing well yeah you were making move you
were hustling you
were on the other end of the lake before i even moved you were buzzing it gets
going you were in
minnesota we started in wisconsin yeah definitely dude i was crossing state
lines on that thing you really
it was impressive you could hear the walleye getting nervous brother um yeah i'm
trying to think of a good
oh dude i remember this fourth of july when i was a kid so this fourth of july
i had went to my friend
uh his parents took me to their they had a beach they had like rented a place
in orange beach or
something down there in alabama and it was like if you grew up in the south
like if you went to florida
or alabama like orange beach any of those places like uh panama city if you
went to one of those
places that was like going to the beach dude it was like very nice so anyway i
went and they had
blueberries i'd never had blueberries i'd never seen blueberries right so i was
probably
i'm probably 13 years old right i'd seen like blueberry muffin but i didn't
know you could just
have blueberries like by themselves like freelance like just like a little
square like a small
rectangle thing of just completely naked blueberries independent blueberries
yeah yes
i got you independent blueberries and i'd never and i tried a couple of them
and i was like oh my god
they're so good so i ate probably two of these little cage fulls of blueberries
right
nice so later i am uh i was like i'll just sleep out on the balcony right
because i didn't want to
sleep inside because there's a lot of people standing over they had like family
friends and stuff and i
started getting like i don't know how to say it like pretty much like diarrhea
or something blue
diarrhea i mean i got like my stomach had never had this before and so it was
like it loved it but it
also it had way too much i had probably i bet i probably had 440 blueberries so
dude i was in i
ended up just tiring off this balcony like at a siding because it was just
flying out of my body
off the balcony yeah just misting off of this balcony dude i there was nothing
else like i do and
i had to wash my legs with like a towel and a thing of water and like it was
horrible dude are you
can you eat blueberries now or did that kill blueberries for you no i mean it
took me a while to
get back you know to get back around to him but um you know it was kind of like
uh
you know yeah at some point i gave him a second chance but that was like one of
the craziest
things that happened i remember was on fourth of july because i remember that
some of them had been
used to make like the fourth of the cake the fourth of july cake they'd been
used for the stars on the
like cake on yes when people do that yeah absolutely interesting thing yeah
blue bears i don't know how
i feel about them but fourth of july great day it still made me nervous dude i
remember it was
happening so fast i had to like kind of i was laying on my side and about the
balcony rails were going up
up and down you know i'm saying yeah i had to like hold on to one of the rails
with both of my hands
dude and you got to like stick your ass through one of the holes yeah or like
try yeah just get it
close it was horrible oh i feel so bad and there was a sec like a knight
security guy down there
or whatever like every now and then his flashlight would shine what are you
shining your flashlight up
here like a bunch of like like you're getting attacked by like a big bat or
whatever yeah that
what a bad day for him you're gonna make him deport himself oh dude he was very
old i bet he didn't
even notice yeah especially i mean if you're a security guard in panama city
beach you've seen worse
and it was like 300 feet of distance between me and him so if anything he was
getting like a
like a dusting like something you put on french toast you know that's the worst
man i hate having a poop
Thank you.