Name: WV Funnybone
Uploaded: 2009-03-23T17:06:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'WV Funnybone' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2009-03-23. Transcript available. Huntington, WV is the fattest city in America, we should embrace this.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'WV Funnybone' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2009-03-23. Transcript available. Huntington, WV is the fattest city in America, we should embrace this.

We'll be together for Mr. Theo Vaughn.
I wasn't in here, but he sounded funny.
How are you?
You look like Jerry from Subway.
How are you, sir?
How are you, sir?
Are you doing well?
I don't even wash my hands, bro.
It's cool.
We're friends now.
This is West Virginia.
We can fuck later.
We'll be family.
It's fine, people.
I'm happy to be here in the fattest place in America.
Let's do this.
Where are my fucking fat people at?
Hell yeah, let's eat some shit.
I plan to get fat when I get older and move here and fuck another fat person.
That's what I'm going to do.
And when skinny people come to town, I'm going to beat them with my fat stomach.
Because we're number one, bitches.
Not third place here.
We're not fat, but not winners.
We're champions of fat.
That's what we do.
That's why when I see somebody here in their late 40s, I shake their hand and I
hug them
because they're going to die soon.
That's okay.
It's about the love, people.
And I'm happy to be here, man.
I'm having a blast, okay?
I know what I'm doing, I think.
I'm a pet owner.
I grew my own hair.
I know I look like I have a little bit of Down syndrome.
I know who I am.
I know I look like a cross between Matt Damon and Shrek, okay?
I know who I am.
I know that I look just a little bit like Tom Brady's retarded brother.
I know what the fuck's going on in my life, okay?
I'm almost 30 and I'm still in college, bitch.
Let's do this, Pell Grant.
That's what I said.
Let's fucking do this for a decade.
I ain't bullshitting, honkies.
I'm 116th Cherokee.
I'm a real American.
I've drank my own bath water.
But not here because it'll fuck your teeth up this time.
But that ain't stopping them over in Wayne, now, is it?
They should put a sign when you roll in there.
It says, enamel's for pussies.
There's not an incisor in sight in that joint.
Because I know what I'm doing.
I'm growing my pubic hair out from locks for lust.
I got 16 inches, bitch.
I ain't even wearing socks right now.
That's how warm it is in here, crackers.
We couldn't make a black friend in this fucking town if we tried.
What are y'all, killing the black people?
I've been here for three days.
I haven't seen one black person.
You got set in traps.
Don't act like I'm making this shit up.
Look around.
I've been searching for brothers all night.
I can't even find one.
This many big white girls and I can't find one fucking black guy?
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me, West Virginia?
Those are the real miners.
We're fucking doing this tonight.
We're fucking doing this tonight.
We're fucking doing this tonight.