Name: Little People vs Cats
Uploaded: 2011-04-04T23:12:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Little People vs Cats' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Little People vs Cats' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-04-04. Transcript available.

I was recently I was uh I got rented a gay car recently I was in uh Indiana I
was in Indiana
yeah which is Spanish for Indian I uh I ran into a rental car issue okay I
reserved the SUV you
know because I want to look tough you know the hickler and I get there they don't
have my SUV
so they say they're going to give me something similar and that's Hebrew for we're
going to
fuck you here so they give me a PT Cruiser convertible you familiar with this
shit stroller yeah
yeah it's not even like a car it's like a trap for gays you know it's like you
parked it somewhere
and opened it up and you put a little bit of dick in the middle then when the gays
get in you shut it
on take them to the police fucking shit car man I had to blow it dude just to
get it to go in reverse
I'm like damn this is getting out of hand
fucking piece of shit you know the car I'm talking about looks like a uh hearse
for midgets
I'm serious man the whole time I'm driving I feel like they got an expired
little fella in the back
now I gotta bury a midget I don't know how the fuck you bury a midget
I thought you just throw them down a wishing well
I don't fucking know I never lifted up their shirt and read all the rules
what do you mean you can't put a midget in the dryer
what if they get rained on
fucking midgets man fuck them anyway I hate them
because they're bullshiters all they do is one shit ooh ooh I want something
buddy build me around
ooh ooh pick me up where's my ladder pick me up buddy so I can see the parade
fuck you dude leave me the fuck alone man you wanna get up here fucking ride up
here on a dragon or something
you think it's all roses and hoes up here no I'm doing tall shit
I fucking hate them man
tell them I don't care tell them how many of you know two
don't nobody know three midgets
fuck them tell them tell both of them
I trap them bitches in my yard
I take a hole lay some fucking banana leaves on it then lay a couple of now and
laters out there
I know midgets love now and laters
fuck them
then they change their name to little people
that's stupid man that's fucking fag chatter right there
that's stupid man
like don't they change their name to something awesome
you know something with some fucking nuts on it you know
like old looking children
that's a pretty name right there
well if I was a midget I'd breastfeed till I was 40
as long as you shave and don't wear a suit I don't think anybody would catch on
like damn that baby climbed up there
like a damn tent panda
he's gonna be a ball player
or don't even change your name to something synonymous
let's change your name to a social issue that little people deal with everyday
in America
okay that the government doesn't want to address
let's change our name to "doesn't do well with house cats"
oh some of y'all have never seen a little person deal with a cat, huh?
we'll go YouTube shit fucker
little people vs cats
cause little people are getting attacked by cats people
that's like us dealing with lions, okay?
everyday
everyday
oh imma go check my mail
who in the fuck is that?
fuck they got a lion but a mail
imma get my catalogs
little people are getting attacked by cats
white little people, widgets
black little people, midgets
black little people, midgets
they are getting attacked
and gatos too
Mexican pats
they're fucking ganging up on little people
stabbing them
stealing their shoes
selling them to babies in Culver City
why do you think they have that old saying
every time you strain open a jar of pickles
a midget gets attacked by a house cat
it's in the fucking bible dude
know your book homie
and I do my research
I don't just fucking yell about midgets
I watch that show
Little People Big World
you know what I'm talking about?
yeah with the little people
the world
it's a good show man
it's a good show
but it'll make you obsessed with little people
make you wanna find them
bring them back to your house
and brush their hair
no lions here little Tammy
make you wanna go down by the pond
and feed them bread
watch out for hawks
air cats
fuck them
fuck them
cause I'll be honest with you man
I think
they're gonna be extinct soon
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