Name: This Past Weekend: Macy's parade vs New Orleans parade
Uploaded: 2016-11-25T16:49:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'This Past Weekend: Macy's parade vs New Orleans parade' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'This Past Weekend: Macy's parade vs New Orleans parade' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-25. Transcript available.

What up guys? Happy Thanksgiving. Just woke up New York City and I'm trying to
go see the parade.
Let's go. How we doing man? Good morning Bill. Good. Happy Thanksgiving. How's
it going? It's going man. I'm alive. That's what's up. That's what's up man.
You know?
You just said it man. That's the main thing man. We here. Yeah. You know? We
have some people that's not here wishing that they were here still. You know?
Amen man.
I mean sadly to say we each have a number on us. Yeah. We each have an
expiration date. And now we don't want to face it now. See we act like it's not
part of our lives now that death isn't part of our life. Everybody act like
they're going to live forever and they can do whatever damage they want. Right.
Right. Well. Nobody got to face any consequences. I have a short story for you.
My friend if I told you my toughest passengers are women.
Last weekend. My toughest problem in this business is women. Wow. Men
understand each other. You know what I mean? Yeah. Men you know your voice and
thing you know. Men understand.
Women. They'll try you. You know? Yeah. They feel like the law is them. You
know what I mean? Woman. They know the law is on their side. Yeah. You know
what I'm saying?
Man. They feel like they could get away with it. Yeah. They're being sneaky now.
Yeah. They're being sneaky. So what are you going to do man? You ignore them.
Oh I look and see the balloon right there. Oh yeah man. They got the balloons
right there. Boy.
Some of them you just like yo. That's what's up man. That Lyft driver going
through it. He got some wild feelings. On 6th Avenue. They got it blocked off.
Yeah boy. It's like the walking dead.
All right man. We're getting close to the parade.
Damn so I saw a purple pig man. A million people wait. That's the worst parade
ever man. You don't need to come to New Orleans baby. You want a parade huh?
That's a parade bro. Get on somebody's shoulders. You don't even know. Watch
your uncle catch some beads in his mouth.
Anything happen in New Orleans bro. Your cousin get abducted at the parade. You
seen Larry? He was with us at Orpheus.
This parade what you get. It's an idealistic parade. It's a nice idea. It's
clean. It's fancy. It's sponsored.
I want New Orleans parade man. Somebody throw a cutlet. Somebody throw a
chicken cutlet off a battleship.
That's when you're in New Orleans baby. Let me see if I can get a little closer.
I'm going to try one more time.
Man my face is ashy bro. Need to get a little bit of FM dog. You feel me? A
little facial moisturizing.
For a baby or no baby. Dude I've never been. Look how far they got people from
the parade man.
Dude if you want to watch this parade. Watch it from home.
You saw that man? They hiding the women bro. They hiding all the women from us
bro.
That's this new America they want us to live in man.
Just a bunch of angry dudes out here. Emasculated. Can't be a man.
Nah they hiding the women. But yeah man that's my verdict man. I like that New
Orleans parade.
That non-commercialized real ass band playing. You got a funeral that
accidentally drove in line with the floats.
You got a young kid drinking mace in the distance. You know what I'm saying man?
These kids ain't drinking no mace bro. These kids ain't about that mace.
So that's the mace's parade man. That's it. I think next year I got to come
earlier to watch it man.
Ooh.