Name: Theo and Lewis Capaldi Talk Scots and Scotland
Uploaded: 2025-07-17T00:01:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Lewis Capaldi Talk Scots and Scotland' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Lewis Capaldi Talk Scots and Scotland' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-17. Transcript available.

what yeah dude i've been to scotland before we did glasgow and did a show over
there yes
uh how how did you find it oh it was quite it reminded me a bit of like uh a
lot of people
like day labor like kind of like contractor type of people like a proper like
working class
working class blue blue collar yeah over here yeah oh yeah down and dirty or
like a dark blue
yeah yeah definitely uh i mean guys some of them they would you know one of
them would talk and one
of them would whistle just like unique you know like one guy you had to tickle
him to get the truth
out of him you know just a lot of like special just unique folks yeah yeah it's
a it's a great place i
love glasgow i don't like i kind of split my time now between glasgow and london
but uh yeah i always
miss it when i go yeah it's just a different sort of um yeah different type of
person that you get
maybe than and and the london's and oh yeah dude they're a bit more refined
there they're a bit
more like uh kind of like you see like those nutcrackers at christmas and they're
all like
polished and like you know they have like a nice hat and like a little thing
yeah yeah like your cat
williams yeah yeah they're a bit more cat williams over there in london and
then you get to scotland
and it's just some guy fucking licking a pitchfork you know yeah exactly hoping
for the best i love
that yeah i love that shit man yeah it's fucking it's pretty special but yeah
it's a great place
yeah shout out craig newmark yeah shout out craig yeah yeah yeah well we we
wouldn't say craig we'd
say craig oh craig craig craigslist that'd be called oh craigslist oh that
sounds even more
risky yeah yeah yeah miss connections it sounds like yeah you might meet a
dentist in the dark
yeah yeah craig craig yeah and what does craig mean does it mean something in i
don't know i just uh
what's the name uh i think i don't know if it's like uh i don't know if it's uh
if it has any true
meaning or anything like maybe warrior craig oh paul craig there you are yeah
he once called me a loser
on his podcast oh damn paul really he said he said i actually quite like paul
craig but he said i
should uh lose weight and that i was a loser well damn dude if he lost weight
he'd be a loser
technically yeah exactly yeah the biggest loser yeah don't give him the title
before you yeah but i
saw the clip but um paul uh congratulations on everything sorry about what
happened at the last
uh you see sorry lewis isn't enough for you but yeah sorry sorry man yeah yeah
paul craig
oh no but that would be craig yeah craig yeah anyway paul craig yeah yeah dude
the scots man
they're fascinating they're just fascinating you'd almost like i wouldn't be
surprised if you was in
the u.s you know or and you're in a zoo and they had a couple in there
somewhere like you know they're
taking care of and everything yeah yeah drinking sort of like they're healthy
in there yelling at you
yeah screaming at the fences and stuff like that yeah exactly yeah yeah sounds
that sounds like us
we're singing like a good um do they have like a lot of good like scottish
songs and stuff
oh flower of scotland when will we see your lake again and fought and died for
your wee bit
hill and glen that stood against them proud edward's army and sent him homeward
to thank again come on
yeah yeah yeah that's that's us that's one that's a good one that we've got we've
also got um what's
your name ali bali ali bali b sitting on your mommy's knee that's a good one
yeah i don't know
where that when it goes after that well that one ends in the courts i think it
sounds like yeah exactly
that sounds like a domestic dispute kind of you know but yeah i just i think
yeah the the most
fascinating kind of like scotland it's like the diy england yeah yeah yeah
exactly yeah it's like
fucking figure it out yeah we'll we'll be fine up there but although we did uh
no to get into
independence and now we did vote vote vote to not leave the england people
think scottish people
hate english people but it's not true i love i love english people yeah i love
i love them so much
yeah i don't i know i don't have anything against english people yeah in fact
um i love love them
if i saw them i would definitely pat them on the back yeah give them a pat back
and like a little
like one of those little like love taps on the back on the back on the back
side on the yeah send
them on the way on the low back yeah just the low back yeah consensually yeah
of course yeah it
seems like there's a lot more you have to be very consensual over there yeah
yeah i think
everywhere it's good to be consensual good call sorry yeah just and that's not
gonna age well
but in scotland it's just a bit more like whose tit is this you know kind of
and it's on your mate
half the time yeah yeah exactly yeah and a man's tit it's always a man's tit we're
talking about men
ladies yeah we're talking about men's tits yeah relax it's not always about
your tits you know um
dude in scotland you guys see some of the most ufos do you know that i didn't
know that no no i'm not
uh i'm not as a up to speed with my alien stuff as i should be but is that is
that the case more
yes i think scotland is one of the most i think scotland has some of the most ufs
ufo sightings
anywhere really i think there's there's also like i think that's also got
something to do with people
like they're not taking more drugs in scotland oh definitely and then some
people just need a ride
home exactly just hoping anything will come get them yeah yeah exactly what's
that there was a video of a
one of the first sightings over there burnt was his name yeah this is a guy
right here
it's bobby taylor i think with a big round dome a very dark gray color and it
had a big flange going
all the way around i could see arms sticking out of this flange with what i
took to be blades
on the top as i stood here there was two balls came out two balls i'd think
they'd be about
three feet in diameter with about six it could have just been a it could have
been just a big gay guy
running towards him you know what i'm saying it could have just been a big gay
guy in a helmet
running towards him he also sounds like he might have a few on board though i
mean it's not like
uh robert bobby taylor there sounds like he could be under the influence lately
so i'm not sure that
that's no i'm glad you're here because this is livingston that's so close to
where i grew up
really yeah so close to where i grew up i grew up like 10 minutes from there oh
wow that's very
close he swept one uh in between glasgow edinburgh but that's so close to where
i live and is have you
heard of this man i've never heard of robert taylor he hasn't uh hasn't really
made it into the
he was attacked by a ufo in the deck in the deck deckman deckman woods you've
heard of him i haven't
heard of uh i've heard of the woods i haven't heard of uh robert but then that's
what they do they try
and uh they try and uh suppress this stuff don't they oh for sure you can yeah
this guy should not
be yeah west luthien that's where that's literally where i grew up really yeah
in uf the the taylor
incident aka livingston incident or detriment woods encounter is the name given
to claims of sight
sighting an extraterrestrial spacecraft uh in livingston west luthien yeah yeah
that's where
whitman is i never thought i'd hear deal von say west lillian oh yeah boy you're
doing
wl up on loopy that's another thing yeah well the up on loopy is like a uh a
young team there's a thing
in scotland called there's things all over scotland called young teams and it's
like groups of youths
are like and they sort of get together and cause mischief and like you know i
don't know like
fighting stuff for a bit of gangs yeah yeah so i wouldn't even class it as guys
it's not as like
it's not as um violent violent there's fights but like everyone you kind of go
around on your bikes
and like punch punch fuck at each i was never in one obviously but like uh
punch fuck at each other
you had like west weapon loopy that's the only one i know yeah it was a song
like what born loopy
nuts are we him and her and you and me we'll show you what we can do with a
baseball bat and a snooker
slash the faces jump the back use the cue as a baseball bat what born loopy
nuts are we we are
the whip one loopy let's go dude i'll join right now give somebody that
freaking glasgow smile
wow according to taylor a forestry worker for the livingston development
corporation on november 9th
1979 he parked his pickup truck at the side of a road near the motorway and
walked along a forest path
um he claims the experience of foul odor like burning brakes uh i mean it
sounds pretty um
similar the spheres like similar to sea mines had seized him and were dragging
him in the direction
of a larger object when he lost consciousness oh they all but they always lose
consciousness right
before they see them it is true i mean so what is what is happening yeah it
sounds like he blacked out
i mean anything yeah i mean he definitely you said out of the gate it looked
like he'd maybe had one or
two yeah yeah one or two on board yeah and also the thing about a lot of ufos
dude you never we never
even we never even find a gas cap on the ground or anything like these motherfuckers
are flying
everywhere we never find a rear view mirror exactly yeah exactly you're telling
me they're that well
assembled that not one of them ever had the fault yes a spare tire or something
even just one of those
jacks they used to fix the side of it i'm not like uh a huge believer in uh ufos
or aliens
but i i'm curious yeah i'm curious yeah yeah i'm always interested you're alien
curious i'm alien
curious yeah yeah me too i would just be oh i hope if they get me they're women
that get me
but yeah the fall what was that the fall kirk triangle fall kirk triangle fall
kirk's also not
far from where i live this is all they all seem to be happening in my sort of
my uh little concentrated
area of london yeah scotland sorry yeah the fall kirk triangle it sounds like
three kind of thicker
ladies splitting a bit of haggis doesn't it yeah it does yeah yeah yeah the
fall kirk triangle is a
region in central scotland renowned as one of the world's most active ufo hotspots
you didn't know
that i didn't know that no that's not uh people haven't like uh that's not
become yeah yeah exactly
yeah it's not become a real it's not as famous as but how many do you need
before people tap each
other on the shoulder and you say yes things are things are going on here this
isn't like this isn't
uh normal you think as well you'd be able to catch them like you'd be able to
if 300 are happening a
year in the area you'd be able to wait out and be like okay they're coming at
some point do you know
what i mean yeah you think just some guy that's mad though i never knew that
what is it i wonder
if what leads to those ufo i wonder what if there's something in scotland that
leads to it is it the diet
is it the there was a there was a thing called the glad the glasgow effect um a
couple of years ago
well i still i think it's like the life expectancy in glasgow at one stage it
was like 55 years old or
whatever and i remember this girl um did uh like this thing where she was
looking it was like an art
project where she was looking for funding so she could live like a a glaswegian
for a year and see
how it affected her health so she could love a glaswegian no live live like a
glaswegian like
live the diet the the sort of surroundings that people were really up in arms
about it because it was
very like sort of poverty safari sort of right like like almost like a super
size me but for scotland
yeah yeah it was very like um it was singing but yeah excess what the glasgow
effect refers to the
observation raising the glasgow space lower life expectancy and poorer health
outcomes than people
living in similarly deprived cities in the united kingdom europe there you go
but i think it's better
now i think it is much better now i think the people are just so great god
wants them back quicker
that's great that's a good way of looking at it that's what i feel like you
could the rest of
you guys can mill around on the earth yeah just keep it keep it going down
there yeah dude the last
30 years are downhill anyway we'll show up in heaven in style i like that yeah
that's class yeah dude
who's on who's on your scottish mount rushmore if you had to kind of piece one
together
uh billy connelly would be up there for sure okay billy connelly yeah billy connelly
um
maybe i like there's a scottish singer i love called paolo natini what is his
name paolo natini
he's scottish italian much like myself well not quite like myself because he
looks italian and i look
like this yeah see he's got that sort of like italiany wow i didn't know that
so that's a um
scotsman that's a scotsman yeah oh and uh yeah but he he's up there for me as a
as a musician i'm
such a grew up listening to him and have you guys ever gotten to tour or
collaborate together
we've i've had a few beers with them i went i've been to see him and had a few
beers and that was
like a really nice sort of full soccer he's very elusive uh palantino like
disappear for years and
then come back and sing but he's uh he's an incredible incredible talent but he'll
be he'd be up
there for me um i'm trying to think of actors oh uh because sean connery maybe
sean connery would be
up there i mean he's a very historical figure yeah sean connery probably would
be up there yeah
actor wise what about shay mcgowan was he scottish shay mcgowan's irish he is
he might have been high
enough he thought he was scottish i think he was born in england shay mcgowan i
don't know but i
think sean connery is he was very much the epitome of class yeah exactly yeah
it is robert
lewis stevenson that uh he's yeah or like alexander graham bell is he scottish
yeah i think he's
scott scott scottish people invented telephone and television john logie baird
is that the guy who
invented the television um well robert lewis stevenson they invented the
telephone who invented
the telephone really oh my gosh dude thank you yeah i don't want to get it
honestly thank you
more than welcome that that's quite a recent looks like quite a recent picture
what's going on there
it must be ai or something nah they said what do you mean do you think that's
ai
i don't know it's just been colored it's just been them dude he you guys
invented the damn
telephone yeah who did he call first i don't know there's no one else on the
other end of the
line i guess that's the problem that's a great point oh christ that must have
been the worst part
imagine the day they're like debuting it and nobody else even has one yeah yeah
exactly rubbish it's
must be the guy who got the first iphone you know what i mean oh he's like oh
my wife didn't pick
up i'm gonna stay for another point yeah yeah that's mad alexander graham bell's
first telephone
call was to his assistant thomas a watson bell uttered the famous words mr watson
come here i want
to see you wow it's quite sexual almost definitely well look disco a lot of men
invented things i think a
lot of men who allegedly had maybe some zesty tendencies invented things
because they had they
needed to meet other men yeah yeah yeah and they didn't want to say out in
public hey yeah exactly
you needed to you wanted to be like discreet yeah yeah yeah so pick up this
little whisper mobile
yeah yeah come heather come heather machine yeah the come heather machine wow
that's wild dude
that's lovely that's amazing dude i didn't know that it's uh and that was march
10 1876 he did
it in boston not long before your um grandmother was born that's true yeah oh
Thank you.

Theo and Lewis Capaldi Talk Scots and Scotland

what yeah dude i've been to scotland before we did glasgow and did a show over
there yes
uh how how did you find it oh it was quite it reminded me a bit of like uh a
lot of people
like day labor like kind of like contractor type of people like a proper like
working class
working class blue blue collar yeah over here yeah oh yeah down and dirty or
like a dark blue
yeah yeah definitely uh i mean guys some of them they would you know one of
them would talk and one
of them would whistle just like unique you know like one guy you had to tickle
him to get the truth
out of him you know just a lot of like special just unique folks yeah yeah it's
a it's a great place i
love glasgow i don't like i kind of split my time now between glasgow and london
but uh yeah i always
miss it when i go yeah it's just a different sort of um yeah different type of
person that you get
maybe than and and the london's and oh yeah dude they're a bit more refined
there they're a bit
more like uh kind of like you see like those nutcrackers at christmas and they're
all like
polished and like you know they have like a nice hat and like a little thing
yeah yeah like your cat
williams yeah yeah they're a bit more cat williams over there in london and
then you get to scotland
and it's just some guy fucking licking a pitchfork you know yeah exactly hoping
for the best i love
that yeah i love that shit man yeah it's fucking it's pretty special but yeah
it's a great place
yeah shout out craig newmark yeah shout out craig yeah yeah yeah well we we
wouldn't say craig we'd
say craig oh craig craig craigslist that'd be called oh craigslist oh that
sounds even more
risky yeah yeah yeah miss connections it sounds like yeah you might meet a
dentist in the dark
yeah yeah craig craig yeah and what does craig mean does it mean something in i
don't know i just uh
what's the name uh i think i don't know if it's like uh i don't know if it's uh
if it has any true
meaning or anything like maybe warrior craig oh paul craig there you are yeah
he once called me a loser
on his podcast oh damn paul really he said he said i actually quite like paul
craig but he said i
should uh lose weight and that i was a loser well damn dude if he lost weight
he'd be a loser
technically yeah exactly yeah the biggest loser yeah don't give him the title
before you yeah but i
saw the clip but um paul uh congratulations on everything sorry about what
happened at the last
uh you see sorry lewis isn't enough for you but yeah sorry sorry man yeah yeah
paul craig
oh no but that would be craig yeah craig yeah anyway paul craig yeah yeah dude
the scots man
they're fascinating they're just fascinating you'd almost like i wouldn't be
surprised if you was in
the u.s you know or and you're in a zoo and they had a couple in there
somewhere like you know they're
taking care of and everything yeah yeah drinking sort of like they're healthy
in there yelling at you
yeah screaming at the fences and stuff like that yeah exactly yeah yeah sounds
that sounds like us
we're singing like a good um do they have like a lot of good like scottish
songs and stuff
oh flower of scotland when will we see your lake again and fought and died for
your wee bit
hill and glen that stood against them proud edward's army and sent him homeward
to thank again come on
yeah yeah yeah that's that's us that's one that's a good one that we've got we've
also got um what's
your name ali bali ali bali b sitting on your mommy's knee that's a good one
yeah i don't know
where that when it goes after that well that one ends in the courts i think it
sounds like yeah exactly
that sounds like a domestic dispute kind of you know but yeah i just i think
yeah the the most
fascinating kind of like scotland it's like the diy england yeah yeah yeah
exactly yeah it's like
fucking figure it out yeah we'll we'll be fine up there but although we did uh
no to get into
independence and now we did vote vote vote to not leave the england people
think scottish people
hate english people but it's not true i love i love english people yeah i love
i love them so much
yeah i don't i know i don't have anything against english people yeah in fact
um i love love them
if i saw them i would definitely pat them on the back yeah give them a pat back
and like a little
like one of those little like love taps on the back on the back on the back
side on the yeah send
them on the way on the low back yeah just the low back yeah consensually yeah
of course yeah it
seems like there's a lot more you have to be very consensual over there yeah
yeah i think
everywhere it's good to be consensual good call sorry yeah just and that's not
gonna age well
but in scotland it's just a bit more like whose tit is this you know kind of
and it's on your mate
half the time yeah yeah exactly yeah and a man's tit it's always a man's tit we're
talking about men
ladies yeah we're talking about men's tits yeah relax it's not always about
your tits you know um
dude in scotland you guys see some of the most ufos do you know that i didn't
know that no no i'm not
uh i'm not as a up to speed with my alien stuff as i should be but is that is
that the case more
yes i think scotland is one of the most i think scotland has some of the most ufs
ufo sightings
anywhere really i think there's there's also like i think that's also got
something to do with people
like they're not taking more drugs in scotland oh definitely and then some
people just need a ride
home exactly just hoping anything will come get them yeah yeah exactly what's
that there was a video of a
one of the first sightings over there burnt was his name yeah this is a guy
right here
it's bobby taylor i think with a big round dome a very dark gray color and it
had a big flange going
all the way around i could see arms sticking out of this flange with what i
took to be blades
on the top as i stood here there was two balls came out two balls i'd think
they'd be about
three feet in diameter with about six it could have just been a it could have
been just a big gay guy
running towards him you know what i'm saying it could have just been a big gay
guy in a helmet
running towards him he also sounds like he might have a few on board though i
mean it's not like
uh robert bobby taylor there sounds like he could be under the influence lately
so i'm not sure that
that's no i'm glad you're here because this is livingston that's so close to
where i grew up
really yeah so close to where i grew up i grew up like 10 minutes from there oh
wow that's very
close he swept one uh in between glasgow edinburgh but that's so close to where
i live and is have you
heard of this man i've never heard of robert taylor he hasn't uh hasn't really
made it into the
he was attacked by a ufo in the deck in the deck deckman deckman woods you've
heard of him i haven't
heard of uh i've heard of the woods i haven't heard of uh robert but then that's
what they do they try
and uh they try and uh suppress this stuff don't they oh for sure you can yeah
this guy should not
be yeah west luthien that's where that's literally where i grew up really yeah
in uf the the taylor
incident aka livingston incident or detriment woods encounter is the name given
to claims of sight
sighting an extraterrestrial spacecraft uh in livingston west luthien yeah yeah
that's where
whitman is i never thought i'd hear deal von say west lillian oh yeah boy you're
doing
wl up on loopy that's another thing yeah well the up on loopy is like a uh a
young team there's a thing
in scotland called there's things all over scotland called young teams and it's
like groups of youths
are like and they sort of get together and cause mischief and like you know i
don't know like
fighting stuff for a bit of gangs yeah yeah so i wouldn't even class it as guys
it's not as like
it's not as um violent violent there's fights but like everyone you kind of go
around on your bikes
and like punch punch fuck at each i was never in one obviously but like uh
punch fuck at each other
you had like west weapon loopy that's the only one i know yeah it was a song
like what born loopy
nuts are we him and her and you and me we'll show you what we can do with a
baseball bat and a snooker
slash the faces jump the back use the cue as a baseball bat what born loopy
nuts are we we are
the whip one loopy let's go dude i'll join right now give somebody that
freaking glasgow smile
wow according to taylor a forestry worker for the livingston development
corporation on november 9th
1979 he parked his pickup truck at the side of a road near the motorway and
walked along a forest path
um he claims the experience of foul odor like burning brakes uh i mean it
sounds pretty um
similar the spheres like similar to sea mines had seized him and were dragging
him in the direction
of a larger object when he lost consciousness oh they all but they always lose
consciousness right
before they see them it is true i mean so what is what is happening yeah it
sounds like he blacked out
i mean anything yeah i mean he definitely you said out of the gate it looked
like he'd maybe had one or
two yeah yeah one or two on board yeah and also the thing about a lot of ufos
dude you never we never
even we never even find a gas cap on the ground or anything like these motherfuckers
are flying
everywhere we never find a rear view mirror exactly yeah exactly you're telling
me they're that well
assembled that not one of them ever had the fault yes a spare tire or something
even just one of those
jacks they used to fix the side of it i'm not like uh a huge believer in uh ufos
or aliens
but i i'm curious yeah i'm curious yeah yeah i'm always interested you're alien
curious i'm alien
curious yeah yeah me too i would just be oh i hope if they get me they're women
that get me
but yeah the fall what was that the fall kirk triangle fall kirk triangle fall
kirk's also not
far from where i live this is all they all seem to be happening in my sort of
my uh little concentrated
area of london yeah scotland sorry yeah the fall kirk triangle it sounds like
three kind of thicker
ladies splitting a bit of haggis doesn't it yeah it does yeah yeah yeah the
fall kirk triangle is a
region in central scotland renowned as one of the world's most active ufo hotspots
you didn't know
that i didn't know that no that's not uh people haven't like uh that's not
become yeah yeah exactly
yeah it's not become a real it's not as famous as but how many do you need
before people tap each
other on the shoulder and you say yes things are things are going on here this
isn't like this isn't
uh normal you think as well you'd be able to catch them like you'd be able to
if 300 are happening a
year in the area you'd be able to wait out and be like okay they're coming at
some point do you know
what i mean yeah you think just some guy that's mad though i never knew that
what is it i wonder
if what leads to those ufo i wonder what if there's something in scotland that
leads to it is it the diet
is it the there was a there was a thing called the glad the glasgow effect um a
couple of years ago
well i still i think it's like the life expectancy in glasgow at one stage it
was like 55 years old or
whatever and i remember this girl um did uh like this thing where she was
looking it was like an art
project where she was looking for funding so she could live like a a glaswegian
for a year and see
how it affected her health so she could love a glaswegian no live live like a
glaswegian like
live the diet the the sort of surroundings that people were really up in arms
about it because it was
very like sort of poverty safari sort of right like like almost like a super
size me but for scotland
yeah yeah it was very like um it was singing but yeah excess what the glasgow
effect refers to the
observation raising the glasgow space lower life expectancy and poorer health
outcomes than people
living in similarly deprived cities in the united kingdom europe there you go
but i think it's better
now i think it is mu