Name: Love, Intimacy & Why Modern Dating Feels Broken
Uploaded: 2025-07-22T16:12:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Love, Intimacy & Why Modern Dating Feels Broken' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Love, Intimacy & Why Modern Dating Feels Broken' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-22. Transcript available.

Love, Intimacy & Why Modern Dating Feels Broken

here's one thing i noticed for myself right so well i had like a lot of dis
like i had kind
of a disorder i guess where like i had some intimacy issues where i couldn't um
i had like
some issues like just like probably with my mom from growing up of not having a
connection
and so if a woman if i got around a woman i got very nervous right it was like
a very
extremely nervous right so i think it made it like once i saw pornography i was
like okay well
here's a way that i can be near a woman or nears a female where i can uh have
some form of intimacy
without having to have a real person there so that for one for me was um it was
okay it made sense that
that that's how i adapted to it as a kid or how i understood it as a kid it
makes sense uh but as an
adult it didn't help me at a certain point um and then the secondary part for
me was uh you know you
would just see you would see sex like in images or scenes or a way a camera's
set up and so then
that's how you start to think of it of intimacy it's like you know it's like
okay well we have
to do this scene you know it's not like you would stage things around your room
or anything you didn't
have any cameras or anything but you would just like you thought of each thing
as like a scene or a
scenario so um yeah you're not out there shooting baskets you're trying to like
recreate the nba final you
know right you're and that's a lot that's a lot of pressure you know so it was
a ton of pressure so
it was like and you almost couldn't even yeah there was no real connection so
that for me was a real
cul-de-sac of like trying to figure out how to evolve like um intimately you
know and and and it's it's
something that's taken a long time to get through and different like uh class
like not classes but
like ayahuasca really helped me a lot different medicines helped a lot with
like just unbinding
all that anxiety that was just like this young person who just uh didn't know
how to relate to females
you know yeah i think it's a really important conversation if i may yeah it's
huge listen like
i said i'm 49 now but you know i am forever grateful to my first girlfriend i
was a virgin
when she and i started sleeping together she had slept with this other guy all
i knew about him was
he was like some buff football player i'm like the skinny skateboard kid oh
dude my first girlfriend
slept with a dude before me who wore a cape dude a fucking well that you wore a
cape yeah like
fuck dude what the heck yeah listen i mean i remember going into that like any
young male thinking
like my goodness you know this is like there's a lot of pressure and one of the
things i'm so grateful
to her for is you know we were able to talk a bit at first no you know it's
just like you're just
want it to go perfect right you just wanted to go perfect and i will say one of
the huge mistakes
people make maybe we can save some some people some men and women young young
men and women
some serious stress one of the huge mistakes people make is to try and take
that edge off with alcohol
first of all it starts to really muddy all the consent stuff so you're already
like you're already
playing with fire right because you know when people are inebriated there's all
they're not in their
right mind yeah so the other thing is that by chemically removing that stress
you many people
come to depend on those chemicals to relax and they don't learn the skills
right because i always joke
you know now not it's not a joke it's serious you know nowadays like every
young male who wants to
like get a little bit you know jacked is like should i take trt and i'm like
dude you're 25 you're already
filled with testosterone they're like yeah but you know and you're like learn
how to train learn how
to eat and when you're in your late 40s talk to a doctor freeze some sperm
because it's going to shut
down your sperm production maybe then but like just chill and in the same way
it's like i think there's
immense pressure there's also something that's happening now that i hear about
a lot which is
from the beginning of time women have talked to one another okay i had the oh
yeah chatty kathy
you heard of that term no is that what it's called yeah it's a famous term who
brought it up let's get
to the bottom of that term really quick because people have heard it a lot and
you don't know where
it really started do we know that the phrase chatty kathy originally came from
the name of popular
talking doll manufactured by mattel in the 1960s the doll's pole string
mechanism played pre-recorded
phrases when the string was activated like you don't make any money or you get
your own dinner i
made those up but damn chat kathy's a vibe look at her she had buck tooth a
little tooth there yeah back
when you get a good british gal but go on was there anything left on that
information um over time the
term chatty kathy became a common idiom to describe someone who is especially
talkative and i'm just joking
ladies but uh but that's interesting where that came from i never knew always
heard that i never heard
that term um you know so i had the great benefit and the uh disadvantage as
well of having a sister
right okay having a sister is great because you don't think women are weird
like i grew up with a
girl living next door to me my sister we shared a bathroom all that but i also
heard the way her
and her friends talk about boys and so from a young age i was like man i can't
make a mistake on a
first date i got to do everything perfect because it's going to be the rundown
but back then there
was no social media now young guys tell me they are terrified to go out on
dates because let's say
they do something wrong let's say they're less than perfect they are very
concerned it's going to end up
on some site and they're going to be shamed and i'll tell you i do think and of
course i take the male
perspective because that's the only body i've ever lived in but i do think that
a lot of the complaints
about you know young you know there are no men today young young males like in
the 20s and 30s you
know a lot of these guys are terrified because they feel like everything's
potentially going to become
public yeah positive or negative and i hear a lot from young males about the
pornography question
about all this and i like there's one kid that i've kind of mentored over time
i've known since he was
a little kid and now he's in his 20s and he's doing great in life but he's had
his um his challenges and
he i'll tell you it's really interesting he said to me he goes look you know it's
hard a good looking
kid he's working right now he's working construction he's he's doing great and
he said look it's hard to
find someone who just kind of want it keeps your relationship just the two of
it yeah but he did he he
had a girlfriend she wasn't the one so he found one and they have a closed
container they call it you
know it was like the new new language or something and he's like man it's
awesome he's like you know
if i'm nervous about something related to intimacy we talk about it turns out
she's nervous too and
he feels super safe and but he had to literally anti that up because where he
went to school i won't
say where he went to school because he'll murder he'll murder me yeah but you
know it's it's like the opposite
arizona state right exactly there there's all this stuff about people talking
behind this and then
posting it to the internet and that's enough and so that drives guys more into
the the loneliness
and isolation porn and substance abuse and so i'm not blaming women here i'm
not blaming men here i'm
just saying that when it comes to intimacy everybody's nervous about that right
when i was a kid there
was like dr ruth and there were those books and then you had this thing called
experience and you'd have
to well that went well that went less well that went really well and then over
time you learn
how to have the communication and enjoy yourself in it yeah now but it's hard
it's difficult now you can
have a thing where it's like say you go out on a date with a girl and then they
could make a video
like oh this guy tried to kiss me what i'll lose just like but i guess guys
could do that too but just
just the risk of that on either side it's like then that wins you know it's
like how many times are we
going to let technology defeat what just means being human right and like and
at what point do we start
to choose like hey i'm going to make a moral like a choice for myself and
whoever i'm going to date
with maybe have a talk with them first or something like you know but it's like
every time it's like
technology is the one that seems to like take away like things that used to be
so real to us yeah
because then you're both in a cave you're both just masturbating or whatever
and you're both like
brokenhearted in a in some semblance it seems like is that crazy to say that no
i i don't think so
at all i mean listen text messages i hate telling people this but like
everything you text is
potentially public i don't care if you're a public facing aka famous person or
not and that terrifies
people but at the same time you know there can be great intimacy through
writing you know my first
girlfriend and i wrote each other letters for years for years i still have
letters from girlfriends
you know i cherish those i don't break them out too often if you have a new
girlfriend
you basically you got to hide those away pretty carefully but i assume anyone i
dates got those
you know from their former relationships every now and then i'm not bothered by
that i mean that's
part of nice to go get them out but i agree man i get nervous because sometimes
like for a date or
something i would like to do well let's um do a zoom call or something first
because it's like
you know especially if we live a little bit away from each other let's see if
we even talk well or
something but then you're worried like well is somebody recording this or what's
going on yes
they're recording it yeah i'm just kidding listen well the old stereotype was
girls feared getting
slut shamed right guys feared getting dork shamed like loser shamed yeah right
big you know that
it's been said by the evolutionary biologists donnie's a loser dude and they
speculate a lot but the
evolutionary biologists will say you know uh woman's greatest fear is violence
from a man man's greatest fear
is being laughed at by a woman oh god right and and you're right exactly and so
there's this battle
nowadays i'm glad we're talking about this because there's this kind of unspoken
battle between the
masculine and feminine forces well it's just funny you say that because it i
just realized that the
majority of my childhood was some woman i don't even know who it was laughing
in the distance in my
head oh man well and like especially when i got into perbity and that kind of
ton of time
but well and there's nothing that feels better than you know feeling like you
can deeply satisfy your
partner and they're devoted to you and you're devoted to them it's a wonderful
i mean that's
the stuff that you know love and marriages and families and to be direct great
sex are made of
right but this is one of the most important conversations to our audience
because i think
this is the thing that's it's killed you know relationships are falling up it's
like if we don't
if this doesn't get fixed now it's gonna be i think it's you know societies can
change and end really
fast especially with like um technology now um to me it's it's just like we're
at a crucial moment
i mean for relationships i totally agree i mean you know young guys approach me
a lot about the porn
thing about concern about like are they going to be shamed on one of these
sites if they
you know do something wrong or or and i'm not talking about like wrong like
they were forceful i'm
talking about wrong like they they made a mistake yeah they said something dumb
or you know i think a lot of
one nick didn't you have a site you're pulling up this