Name: Theo Von - Thuggish Breakfast Inquiry
Uploaded: 2017-04-27T17:04:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von - Thuggish Breakfast Inquiry' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von - Thuggish Breakfast Inquiry' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-27. Transcript available.

Hey bro, I was just wondering like, what's up Steel? First of all, let me tell
you, I like this show, man. It's great, great. Good stuff, man. Good.
Look, I was wondering, I want to know what your go-to breakfast item is, dog.
Like, what you mess with, man? What you do, like scrambled eggs?
What you do, like omelets? What about, like, donuts? Do you only mess with
donut holes?
Do you do cold cereal and milk? Do you sleep through breakfast and just eat a
ham sandwich? I mean, waffles?
What's up? Like, you know, continental breakfast style, do you just want a bowl
of fruit? You know, what you do, bro?
Like biscuit with honey? If you had a breakfast buffet and they got all kinds
of stuff everywhere, what you going straight to?
You know, hot ham? Tell me about it.
All right. That guy is probably the most thuggish breakfast inquirer I've ever
met, you know.
Like, yo, dog, what the fuck, Zane? What you got on that omelet, omelet, omelet,
omelet these hoes.
Omelet turkey sausage, turkey sausage, turkey sausage, turkey sausage. I got
turkey sausage.
I mean, that guy was straight thugging about his breakfast, huh?
Thank you for calling, man. I appreciate your energy and enthusiasm about the
earliest meal of the day, to most anyway, unless people are waking up, you know,
after midnight to get a snack.
I don't do that.
But, uh, I like a cold cereal, man. That's the first thing I get.
I like a bit of pineapple these days. I'll get a pineapple just to, you know,
because especially if it's springtime and you want to get your, you know, I
kind of believe some of those old wives tales that your seed can really sugar
up if you have pineapple, you know.
And the ladies kind of enjoy that, you know, a little bit more sweetener in
your, in your sweetener.
So, I'll do that. I'll do a little bit of pineapple or some little cuts of
watermelon in a dish or some fruits.
What else, man? And now, if I'm feeling breakfast time, I'll eat breakfast
anytime, dude.
My funeral, bro, bury me. Bury me inside of just a big, huge thing of chilequiles,
bro.
You feel me? Some Latino breakfast, dude. I'm bilingual at the table, dog. You
know what I'm saying?
Juevos, salchicha de pavo. Okay, that's Turkish sausage. I got Turkish sausage.
So, I love breakfast, man, but that's what I do.
One of my life goals actually has been to meet a woman at a continental
breakfast and end up making love after that.
You know, after we each make a waffle with that crazy waffle maker, dog. That
thing is crazy, right?
I mean, it seemed like an early curling iron, dude.
Remember those early curling irons, dude?
Very similar to those continental breakfast waffle makers.
And then some little fucking mupp, it always leaves it going and it starts
beeping.
Then you just get furious.
So, but yeah, I guess those are my things.
I'll get a little cold cereal, you know.
I'll get some hot ham.
I love that choice.
I love the choice you threw out there of hot ham.