Name: Theo Von - Dealing with Stress
Uploaded: 2017-05-10T21:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von - Dealing with Stress' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von - Dealing with Stress' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-10. Transcript available.

What's up, D.O.? This is Chris calling from South Florida.
Chris from South Florida. I'm going to stop him right there.
South Florida, I'm going to say, if you don't know it, it's a hotbed of anarchy.
I'm going to start with that.
Deviants, a lot of deviants end up there.
Jugglers, magicians, pediophiles.
A lot of pediophiles are arrested in Florida.
What else?
People with swords, dolphins, atheists.
They got it all.
So this guy's already in a tough situation.
I'm a big fan of you.
Big fan of the podcast.
And it seems like I'm kind of struggling with some of the same things you are.
The pornography.
I've stopped drinking alcohol like you have.
And the biggest problem for me is that I feel like I have nothing to go to
whenever I get stressed out.
I have no way to bring myself that instant pleasure and kind of take me out of
my thoughts.
I feel you, man.
I feel you.
You know, I'm going to interrupt you right there and say that, you know, I mean,
you hit it on the head.
You got to take yourself out of your thoughts, you know, because that's what's
leading you there.
Your thoughts will lead you to actions and your actions will lead you to better
thoughts.
So you're going to have to, you know, I suggest that you're going to have to
create some better actions, bro.
So my question for you is, what are some of the things you do to help relax and
help to relieve some of your stress?
Other than drinking alcohol and watching pornography?
Well, Chris, I will try to.
The biggest thing for me is closing the day.
You know, like I can go all day with no issues.
You know, fortunately, I've never had the problem of, you know, wanting to
watch pornography during the day.
Or, you know, jerking off in my truck or anything like that.
I remember when I was young, they used to have men that would park back behind
the Winn-Dixie,
which was a shopping, you know, meat and produce grocer.
And you'd see them back there jerking off.
But I never had that issue of daytime self-pleasure.
And for a lot of people, the issue is in the evening, you know.
And it becomes a habit.
Like a lot of people aren't even enjoying masturbation anymore.
They're not enjoying the pornography.
It's just a habit that they've created.
So you've got to create some new habits.
And if it's at the end of the day or in the evening when you're struggling,
then that's when you've got to create some new habits.
And you've got to practice them.
Sometimes what helps me is to do a meditation, man.
And I know it sounds, you know, wild and cheesy.
But when you meditate, you kind of take control of yourself back from your
environment.
Because there's so many things that are just wanting our attention these days
and getting our attention.
And pornography is a huge one of those.
I mean, dude, you can log on and there's, you know, there's breasts and there's
lipstick and, you know, foursomes and brothers wearing sneakers.
Fucking women, you know.
I mean, these men are showing up to fuck, dude.
If you got on a couple New Balance and a hard cock, bro, that's, I mean, that's
some real dicktivity, brother.
So, you know, and that stuff can get addicting to watch.
So you got to, you have to set yourself into a better mode.
And I usually do that with a little bit of meditation.
You can sit down.
A meditation that a friend of mine taught me, you inhale real slowly for eight
seconds.
And you count while you're inhaling.
And then you hold that inhale for four seconds.
And then you exhale slowly for eight seconds.
Just count it in your head.
And then you wait four seconds before you start to inhale again.
And you just keep repeating that cycle.
Do that for ten minutes.
And it might sound crazy.
You might only be able to do five minutes at first.
But if you can get to ten minutes, man, it'll really set you in a more calmer
state where you are more in control of what you're going to do next.
And then I'd find, you know, a better activity.
You know, if you need to make sure you leave your phone and your computer in
the other room.
If you need to read a book.
You know, those are things.
And also, those are things you can do that will help.
And also finding a higher power.
You know, like, it doesn't have to be God.
You know, I'm not trying to lead anybody to religion.
But if you can find, you know, somebody, if you don't have someone, a higher
power that you can say, you know, look, I don't want to do this anymore.
You know, please take away the desire for me to do this.
And by putting that out there, you know, you're really, you're making, you're
voicing what you want.
That you don't want to be watching masturbation or pornography anymore.
And that kind of stuff can really help, man.
Because sometimes even creating a higher power can just create, like, some
accountability for you.
Another thing that I do is, it's going to sound kind of weird, but I do like a,
my mother got me a coloring book.
One of those adult coloring books.
I'll use that sometimes.
Just to keep my mind occupied, I will also read.
And there's meetings you can go to, bud.
I'll be honest with you.
There's sex and love addiction meetings, S-L-A-A it's called.
And there's tons of men in those who, who can relate to your same exact actions.
But I recommend some spirituality, you know.
I recommend some meditation.
Just things that are going to help you reclaim yourself.
Because it sounds like you don't want to be doing these things anymore.
And that these are outside influences that are really reaching for you and
getting a hold of you.
So if you can reclaim yourself some, you're going to have a stronger fortitude
from which to keep those things from accessing you.
And you can email me as well, man.
You can email me directly through my website.
I can send you some links for local sex and love addiction meetings that are
near you.
Where you can meet people who, you know, are dealing with the same stuff, man.
And I appreciate you calling and asking about it.
I hope I was able to offer a little bit of, a little bit of thoughts and
guidance there.