Name: Theo Von - When You Break Up With Someone
Uploaded: 2017-05-25T04:07:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von - When You Break Up With Someone' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von - When You Break Up With Someone' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-05-25. Transcript available.

Hey, Theo, man. I really appreciate you on these podcasts, man. I love it. You're
really opening yourself to everybody, and I appreciate it.
Thank you, brother. I appreciate you calling in, brother. Onward.
The reason why I'm calling today is because I'd like a little bit of your
advice.
I'm originally from America, of course, but I've been living in Thailand for
the last four months.
Okay, you've been in Thailand. Now, a lot of people go to Thailand to do drugs
and to do sex parties and stuff. Also, nice beaches. Onward.
And I've been dating this woman here. She's not actually Thai. She's from
Myanmar.
He's dating a Myanmar, a woman from Myanmar. Fun to say. Fun to say, that place,
Myanmar.
I don't know. I had this infatuation with her for a bit, but I actually, today,
I ended that relationship, and I just, I feel so much guilt, and I just, I just
want your advice about how you deal with, how you manage feeling guilty with
the breakup.
Because, you know, we weren't dating long, and we had, we had a fair, fair
number of issues, for sure.
But at the same time, I just feel so guilty. You know, she didn't see it come,
and it's not something she really, I don't know, man.
It's just, it seemed like, I kind of blindsided her.
It seemed to me that we were having issues near the end, but now that I finally,
excuse me.
Okay, so you were having issues, and you broke up with her, and you feel bad
about it.
Okay, make sure I'm getting it all. It's almost the end of the call. Let's keep
going.
Finally did it. Now that I finally ended it, I just feel so much guilt. I feel,
I feel so bad for her.
So I don't know if you put this on here. I've been kind of rambling a bit, but.
Okay, man, I'm going to stop you right there. It sounds like you're closing up.
You are feeling guilt because you broke up with someone, right?
I've been there, man. I feel you, dude.
The hardest thing to do, really, is to be honest with somebody and let them go
when you don't feel like it's a right fit.
Some of the reasons why I feel guilty, or have felt guilty in the past from my
experience, is that I was uncertain.
You know, I didn't trust myself.
Even though I knew that it was the right move, I just didn't trust myself, man.
I didn't feel confident in who I was, no matter what decision I was making.
So to make a big choice, like to let somebody go that I had cared about at one
time, at least decently, it sounds like you cared about this woman, was very jarring
afterwards.
It's like you have, like, a returner's remorse a little bit.
You know, I think what you need to do is just trust your instincts.
And the reason you probably feel bad is because, I think, one of the reasons
could be that you actually cared.
And that's okay.
You know, it would be more revealing if you didn't feel bad.
Because then, did you really care?
You know?
If it just goes on over your shoulder, then you didn't probably really care
that much.
But the fact that you care, dude.
You know, you miss her.
You think about her.
It was close to something that was probably really good or maybe perfect or
maybe the timing isn't right right now.
But the fact that you stood up and said, this isn't going to work for me, we'll
probably leave the availability for that in the future if you guys change.
Because you manned up, dude.
The toughest thing to do is to fucking do what you got to do.
You know?
You could have meddled around and texted here and texted there.
You know?
I mean, I got girls I've probably been texting on and off with for seven years.
You know?
When I think about it, that I'm never going to meet up with.
Ever.
But we still like, what are you doing this weekend?
What are you doing tonight?
Maybe we can meet.
Just because I'm afraid to cut ties.
Because I'm afraid to be confident that someone better is going to come to me.
But it doesn't sound like that's what's going on with you.
It just sounds like you cared.
And you're, you know, you're bummed.
And you cared about this girl and you don't want her feelings to hurt.
And that's nice of you.
It's nice that you can empathize with her.
But you don't want to make it so that, like, you, you hurting for her, like,
you don't want to get kind of codependent like that.
Or like, you know, like, oh, you know, I feel so bad about what I did.
I'm going to hurt for her as well.
Like, just make sure you're not doing that.
Because that's kind of a place of, you know, you putting yourself in, like, the
center of the universe role where, you know, everyone's feelings have to be,
you have to feel everyone's feelings.
You don't have to do that, you know.
Just make sure that, you know, it's just natural, comfortable, you know, pain,
discomfort, heartache.
Those things are okay.
It's weird that we got into this world these days where it's not okay to feel
those or it's not okay to inflict those on everybody.
I think some of that goes back to the environment where everybody gets a trophy,
you know.
We want to make everybody feel okay all the time.
We're afraid to make others feel.
Almost really to make them feel.
We're afraid to commit to love.
We're afraid to commit to separation.
So I commend you on being fearless about it, man.
You know, a while back I met up with a girl and we met for some pizza, you know,
a little bit of Italian, you know, circle divided.
And we spent time there chatting and eating and it was nice.
But then I realized immediately I didn't have the time to devote to getting to
know her better.
And I just, you know, she checked in and I checked in.
We said we had a nice time.
But then I texted her and I said, you know, I think you're great.
I don't still have the time right now.
It has nothing to do with you.
I appreciate you hanging out with me.
And it was probably one of the most adult things I'd done in a while was just
take responsibility, do what needed to be done.
And even if she said, oh, I wasn't even thinking like that or whatever, that's
fine.
I'm just taking care of my side of my street so that my feelings aren't milling
around with split ends, you know.
So anyway, I like what you're doing, man, you know, and just feel that pain and
feel what it feels like, you know.
Feel what it feels like to, you're not being a bad guy, you know, but it's nice
that you care, that you have some empathy and you concern for her feelings, you
know.
And I think that's okay.
I mean, it's tough because you probably want to check in and be like, are you
all right and this and that, but she's an adult, man.
She's an adult and she'll be okay.