Name: Arnold Schwarzenegger Teaches Theo How to Pump Up
Uploaded: 2025-08-15T14:00:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Arnold Schwarzenegger Teaches Theo How to Pump Up' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Arnold Schwarzenegger Teaches Theo How to Pump Up' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-15. Transcript available.

I think it was like going to the gym was my first time where I got compliments.
Because my parents weren't into that.
It was the Austrian kind of upbringing, kind of everything.
They correct everything.
The grades are no good.
And the soccer, why didn't you kick the ball?
You were like 10 yards away from the goal.
You didn't kick it in.
You dripped over the ball.
I mean, come on, Arnold.
It was always some kind of a complaint.
Always trying to correct you.
Exactly.
That's right, yeah.
There was always a complaint.
And then if you made a mistake, you get smacked and stuff like that.
So it was that kind of upbringing.
But it was very helpful to me because it actually gave me the motivation to
leave Austria.
And it gave you control.
I mean, if you're bodybuilding, it's just you against you.
There's no, you don't have to depend on anybody else.
I mean, I guess you have to depend on the judges when you go to actually
compete.
But day to day, it is you against your own emotions and mentality and ability.
Yes, but also at the same time, even though it is a sport that you are on your
own, but
in the end, you still rely on your training partners.
I was very fortunate always that I had the mentality of being able to attract
the best
training partners.
So I had guys that were as hungry as I was, because that's the important thing.
If you have someone that is not as hungry, then it doesn't really mean anything.
Right.
But if you have someone that competes with you, that counts out the reps, then
he wants
to do an extra two reps more than you do.
And you get up to weight and all this stuff.
So I always had good training partners.
So I'm a big believer in that we really can't, in the end, do anything by
ourselves.
But that's why we say, don't call me a self-made man, because I'm a product
with a lot, a lot
of help.
What's like one of the things right before you go on?
Because I'm guessing you're backstage, right?
You wait to go on and they call your name out and then you go out and do your
poses.
Is that how it goes?
Well, in those days, the way it worked was the whole lineup of all the
competitors.
Now, if you understand, Mr. Olympia means that you have to have won a world
championship
title before.
So Mr. World, Mr. International, or Mr. Universe.
So those guys are the top guys.
So you have like six or seven guys that are on the stage.
And so the judges, they ask you the order to come out.
You have a certain time at one o'clock, be ready for pre-charging.
And then you come out and then you stand there.
And then the judges will shuffle you around.
And they say, okay, can number seven go over where number one is?
And number one goes over where number seven was.
You know, they just see them next to each other, different people next to each
other.
Then they say, turn around, turn sideways.
What's the scariest way to be turned?
Like, was there ever a part where you're like, this is, I got to kind of cheat
this angle
a little bit?
No, I mean, for me, it was basically always a tremendous joy to be up on stage.
Because it's one of those things where you feel like when you're really ready.
I always felt kind of like in most cases that I was so ready that no matter
what angle it
was, I was ready to go.
And I had always a smile on my face and I flexed everything.
And, you know, the key thing is, is that you have practiced your posing enough
that you
can stand there in a flexed position.
It looks relaxed, you stand there like this, but you still flexed, right?
Keep the stomach in and you keep the abs flexed and the calves flexed and the biceps
and the
tricep flexed.
So that was the idea.
And then I was always having great joy with that.
So it's a lot of acting too.
It's kind of some acting up there.
It is one of the great forms of acting.
Why?
Because you cannot go and say to the judge, look at me.
I'm the most perfect up here.
Look at my abs.
No, you have to do all that without talking.
You have to communicate with them and also with the audience.
Because remember that the sound of the audience is very important because you
want to get big
applause to the judge and say, oh, this guy got the most applause.
I mean, he definitely, you know, has the best body.
So, but then you wait for the, for the individual posing.
So then you come at one after the next, you do a three minute posing routine.
And what's the tricks there?
Is there any trick of the trade, a last minute thing you used?
You would like pinch your, pinch your tits or just rub some just like molasses
into your
limb.
Like was there, what, what was like a last minute thing people would do?
Put ice under your arms or something?
No, I think the key thing is just that you, when you go there, that you're so
ready that
you don't shake, you know, how many bodybuilders, I'm sure you've seen it.
They hit a shot and then they, they were after, after a few seconds, they start
shaking.
Oh, so that's bad.
Well, for that level, I mean, it's natural when you have a Mr. Venice Beach
competition.
Yeah.
Mr. Muscle Beach.
Mr. Montgomery, Alabama.
Yeah.
You know, beginners, of course, they make mistakes and they're not as well
trained, but when
you get to the Mr. Olympia level, it's unacceptable.
Oh, so you want to make it look so that you want to control the shake.
You hit the shot.
Yeah.
And you smile.
You look at the judges and you, and you, and you smile and then you smoothly
move into the
next shot.
Bah, bang.
You know, and then it, hands and you just, the movement, it has to be all very
gracefully
and no shaking.
So that again, that you say to the judges, look, I am so ready for this.
Unlike maybe the others.
So that's, that's, that's what it is.
So it's all about, uh, the seven P's, you know, the seven P's proper prior
planning prevents
pissed poor performance.
Right.
And the Marines, they have that.
Upper prior planning prevents piss poor performance.
Exactly.
So that's what it's about.
It's the same there.
You come prepared.
You make sure that you work.
Everyone has weak points.
So you have to make sure that you worked as much in your weak points so that
the judges
see that you're not blind, that you noticed that last year you maybe had not so
defined
legs.
Yes, maybe you won, but you, the legs were so, so.
And then the next year when you come back, you have to have ripped legs.
Right.
Right.
So then the judge said, that guy got the.
So this is what it's all about because in the end, you really are an artist.
You're a sculptor.
You're not just the athlete that's competing, but you're the sculptor.
But you're your clay too.
You're sculpting on your own body instead of a chisel and a hammer that you
kind of sculpt,
a physique.
You do it now with machines and with the reps and with the different exercises
where you
say, I need a little bit more of the rear deltoids.
I need a little bit more separation in the front between the deltoid and the pectoral
muscle.
You're a little bit more cut on the lower abs and the calves have to be
balanced.
They're not big enough for the arms because it should be the same size as your
arms are and all of this kind of things.
So you become kind of like an artist in your own body.
That's, that's what the idea is.
Did, was there a, was it, did you ever like have to work out the top of your
feet or your hand?
Were there things you could do for your face even and stuff like that?
No, no, no.
That's the, I mean, there are people that pay attention to that.
I didn't.
Right.
To me, it's always about the bottom line.
Yeah.
So about what is it that we're doing here?
What we're doing here is we are showing the most perfect physique and who is
the best in
actually displaying that physique because it's all about, you know,
presentation, presentation,
presentation.
It's like a piece of art.
You know, you can have a painting that is maybe amongst many other paintings
and you
wouldn't even notice there's a Picasso.
But then when you put it up there on a white wall and did a beautiful gold
frame with the
special lighting, and then you have someone talk about it.
Now you can auction something off for a lot of money, right?
So it's all about presentation.
And so this is why I think the same is also in bodybuilding and the way you
present your
body and the way you present your muscles.
Oh, wow.
Look at these chocolate babies right here.
Huh?
Yeah.
Everybody kind of gets chocolatier.
Huh?
The tanned.
Now you have this tanning stuff.
Was it real tanning back then?
Or was it?
No.
What was the key to the best tan?
The best tan?
We got the best tan that we could get.
So I would work out a lot of times outside in the weightlifting platform in
Venice.
Oh, yeah.
I love that.
So you get kind of tanned all over the place.
Then doing chin-ups and doing bench presses and incline and dips and all this
stuff.
Then we would jump in the ocean again, come back and work out some more and all
this.
But on the end, we then added to that tan, Tan in a Minute by Helena Rubenstein.
Oh.
Oh.
So I don't even know if this exists anymore.
That they're not.
Bring it up tan in a minute, huh?
But.
60 second sous-vay, they call it.
That was, in those days, it was the big trick.
So you put it on with a sponge.
You know, you just poured it out on a little plate.
You put it on with a sponge and you hit a buddy of yours.
They did your back and stuff.
Oh, yeah.
The back of the thighs and all of that stuff.
So this is what they did.
That's why a lot of guys, they, they spray it on.
Right.
The actual experts come to the bodybuilding show.
And backstage, there's the people that manufacture this tanning stuff.
And they would then help bodybuilders and just spray it on and all of that.
So it is much more professional today.
But at the time, so you would, somebody, they would put that tan in a can,
basically.
Yeah.
They would put it in a bottle.
It was in a bottle.
Okay.
And you'd have a friend do your back.
Would anybody ever sabotage somebody and not do their back really good?
No.
But I mean, there were some people that were really stupid and then did not
know how to put
it on.
It would show kind of like streaks of the, of the, because it didn't have the
red sponge.
Yeah.
A little mulatto around the wrist.
Huh?
So we put on just a light kind of layer.
It was all about just a little subtle thing because it's not going to make you
win.
No.
It just makes you, the photos look a little bit better when you have a little
bit of color.
And what was it called if somebody went too dark?
Would you just call them a little chocolate bunny or something?
No.
It was up to the individual.
As a matter of fact, they tell you that you can see in our Arnold classic, a
lot of times
when you've been, the guys turn around.
Yeah.
You sometimes don't even know who is black and who is not.
Oh yeah.
Because, because they're so dark now.
The tanning has gone so sophisticated and so brown.
Look at this guy.
I mean, this is.
Yeah.
So he's a perfect, when he turns around, you would think it's a black guy
standing there.
For sure.
A nutmeg fella.
Yeah.
That is just a little molasses, baby.