Name: Theo Talks About Philly Girls
Uploaded: 2025-08-26T15:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Talks About Philly Girls' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Talks About Philly Girls' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-26. Transcript available.

uh good to see you good to good to be with you today um what's going on just
had some crazy
couple of weeks of shows touring that's kind of the usual i was in uh philly we
went over there
and you know philly you know you'll see a baby he'll be crawling just to work
by himself you're
like god he's union he's you know he'll get a pension if he started that early
you see that
though you see kids five six year olds playing wearing damn hard hats over
there shit falling
on them just that's philly you know it's tough everything's tough over there
you'll see a
cigarette smoking a cigarette you're like god everything's just puffing that's
how it is
over there that's philly hey philly hey philly dude i was dating this girl from
philly she's like
uh she's visiting me and she's like oh do they have uh bottomless uh mimosas or
whatever and i was like
i don't know and she's like oh in philly they got bottomless ones you guys don't
have bottomless i was
like i don't know i don't they may have they might not i don't know if they
have you know and i'm like
oh we could go get some uh i know a place for good italian food and she'd be
like well is it bottomless
and i'm like i don't it's you know no it's you know it's like regular entree in
two sides and she'd be
like in philly they have dinos and they have bottomless raviolis i'm like dude
i don't want
bottomless raviolis i don't ever want that i will pay someone an extra 40 to
put a bottom on the
raviolis bottomless all chicks from philly care about is getting bottomless
meals that's it she's
like oh we were we went to my friend julia's birthday last week and they had
bottomless eggs
at brunch and i was like oh fucking hide my dick in a submarine i do not ever
want bottomless eggs
just pisses me off bro oh she's like oh god i wish we were back in mani on
there's a fire department
that serves bottomless coleslaw every year during summer solstice or whatever i'm
like
oh you're sick lady and she got upset if i take her to places that that had
regular servings she got
upset i know a great place we can go and get some uh some wings and she's like
well how many do they
give you and i'm like this bitch i said they give you a you know an of you know
a normal amount for
somebody that's eating you know five or six and you could just see her just her
energy
just dropped she's like oh i wish we were in philly right now there's they're
having bottomless
cheesecake over in fishtown today at 4 p.m i'm like i don't care i don't care
tonight in center
city they're having bottomless manicotti i'm like
and i was like no i don't want that and she got all her feelings got hurt her
feelings got hurt man and
she's like and she kind of snuggled up her grandmother and made her like a
silver linings
playbook like knitted quilt or whatever and she just was like oh you should go
to kensington
they're having bottomless methadone over there you're like oh god so anyway i'm
just i'm just it's an
alcohol i would love maybe one day i'll marry a nurse from philly marry a good
uh you know semi-violent
woman who can put an iv in you after she fucking pieces you up a little bit but
i'm just saying
be aware women from philly they wanted bottomless you know i want a woman that
wants a little bit of
a bottom on things that's who i am so praise god and god bless everybody
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you
you