Name: Theo Von on GSP vs Michael Bisping
Uploaded: 2017-11-07T23:19:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on GSP vs Michael Bisping' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von on GSP vs Michael Bisping' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-11-07. Transcript available.

I watched that Michael Bisping vs. George St. Pierre fight, and I remember the
first fight I ever saw.
This Irish fellow named Milford King threw a senior citizen into a ditch fire
when I was young,
and that man came back at him, a senior citizen, Mr. Polito.
He got lit up on fire, and that man stormed back at him.
He thought he was dead. He thought he was going to die, but that man came out
that ditch with flames piggybacking on his skin and on his flannels and on his
suspenders.
He had suspenders.
The last thing you want to have on when your clothes are on fire is suspenders
because that just means that it's harder to get all your clothes off.
And I watched this old man just burn and just whirl, just coming right at him,
just like a small senior citizen, Italian, flaming cyclone coming right at big
Milford King with that.
That man had nine-inch chest hair.
Dude, that guy could cornrow his chest hair, man.
And sometimes he would let some of the black girls cornrow his chest hair, and
you'd think that's a lie, and that's not even a lie.
But that's one of the first fights I saw.
But I got to watch some of these fights, man.
I went and watched two fights the other night.
And that by-spin St. Pierre was wild, dude.
St. Pierre, I mean, that man, the first of all, he might be French.
He might be Canadian, you know.
You don't even know, dude.
I mean, he's so proper.
He kind of looked like Lance Armstrong if Lance Armstrong got a hold of some
actually good drugs, you know.
Not that shit that was just making him bicycle, you know.
Because anybody could damn bicycle, dude.
I got a seven-year-old niece, you know, that's out there competing locally and
cycling.
You know, but to get out there and be UFC-ing, you know, excuse me.
You got to really be into it, you know.
And you got to have that high-class stuff going on inside of your body.
But St. Pierre, man, he really got out there.
And the way he finished off the fight at the end and was such a, was so, like,
just kindred about it afterwards.
You know, he's respectful of the sport, respectful of the audience.
And so was By Spang, man.
He said the same stuff.
He said, you know, that man's got a hell of a squeeze on him.
He squeezed me out.
And By Spang is wild, dude.
He got blacked out.
He didn't even tap out.
Because you could tap your arm on the carpet.
If you don't want to fight anymore, you can tap your arm on the carpet, you
know.
It's probably like at an old folks' home.
If you've had too many pills, if they're pilling you up,
you just give that beat down and they, you know,
they stop the presses on that morphine dripper on them oxys.
You know, they keep pop, pop off them oxys.
But, man, he just said, nah, I'm just going to go on all the way.
I'm going to keep fighting until I'm unconscious.
Man, that was incredible to see, dude.
Because I will tap out before the fight starts.
You know what I'm saying, dude?
I will tap out.
If we're supposed to fight tomorrow, dude, I'll tap out tonight before dessert.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll order two scoops of ice cream and fucking tap out right here at the dinner
table.
So that was impressive, man, just to see men go to those depths, you know.
To see men go that deep and get into their brains that much.