Name: Theo Shocks Steven Rinella with His Thoughts on Turkeys...
Uploaded: 2025-09-18T19:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Shocks Steven Rinella with His Thoughts on Turkeys...' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Shocks Steven Rinella with His Thoughts on Turkeys...' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-18. Transcript available.

you have a show on netflix called meat eater and you guys are in your you guys
are we made a lot
we we we got i got a 13th season of the show coming out we made many many many
episodes over
the years yeah and they appear in a lot of different places yep we've seen some
of them
on youtube um i've gotten to enjoy some of them so thank you so much man it's
definitely exciting
to watch it's really beautifully shot to you guys's show you went turkey
hunting with mike
waddell i heard oh yeah i did yeah i went down there and it was fun but it's
like
i don't know some of the tur it's like they just seem like an unwell bird what
do you mean
turkeys unwell in what way they just don't seem like they're like a top like i
don't want to say
like they on it like i don't want to say uneducated they just seem like they
like they got picked last
for gym kind of dude that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard really oh yeah
about a turkey yeah if
you look at a turkey it doesn't seem like they like they can't do they just are
yeah they just
i don't know they weren't doing a lot dude it's a big ass bird his head changes
colors from red to
white to blue he tastes good yeah he's basically the toby if i could walk
around the woods making
insane noises yeah which i mean like he it's an omnivore it can eat all kinds
of it can eat all
kinds of stuff okay well now you're selling me on it yeah what else i mean like
what like what else
name a better name a better bird it's like you could be oh a bald eagle he eats
a bunch of rotten
fish from the side like like a turkey that's america's bird dude are you
familiar with a gentleman
named ben franklin yeah okay do you know that franklin didn't like the bald
eagle as a national
bird because it was a scavenger and he threw out some it's debated how honest
you it's bait is debated
if he was trying to be a smart ass or not ben franklin said america ought to go
with the wild turkey
because at least it's a vain bird what does vain bird mean it's beautiful he
puffs his feather the
the male puffs his feathers all out yeah he's got a snood he's got like a
imagine like a pecker
on your laid across your face okay that changes all the time it gets erect wait
it goes limp turkey has
that yeah dude it's like to just to like come in and like start disparaging a
turkey right off the top
of the bat you don't know me i'm just okay i'm just it's like very it's like uh
it's disrespectful
that is a that is a that is the the best that's the best bird in our in our
country okay well look
i didn't no one's ever first of all lobbied for this animal in front of me well
franklin well not
in front of you yeah yeah right i didn't know i didn't know him personally yeah
yeah yeah and you
don't know how old i am maybe i was there but no waddell did not waddell was
just like we're killing
these mfers and he used some slurs i'll say that straight up he used a couple
slurs and i was like
i don't think those are for birds or animalia even but he was like i think i uh
i think i just had a
unique um angle into it tell me more about that nose wiener that they got or
that nose called a snood
okay bring it up they got see you get into turkey anatomy man they got a lot
going on for them
they got a snood there's not many birds that have like basically a uh so they
have a cloaca
okay birds have a cloaca like called like a uni hole all their actions defecating
taking a leak
well when they defecate and take a leak it's kind of a single deal okay i'll do
that they have sex
when they shit you can tell a male from a female by the shape of its shit wow a
male throws a j shake
hooked shit so there's not many birds you can sex his shit yeah he's got a snood
they got spurs
sometimes an inch and a quarter long for fighting oh you ever been to a cock
fight
okay they got spurs look at that some of those spurs are so big you can hang
the turkey
by the spur on a branch that's called a limb hanger that means he's huge
some got a they got like pull up the beard pull up the beard pull up the beard
they got a beard which
is actually a feather look at that hold on let me see it when he's big when
that when that gets so big
that it drags on the ground you know what you call them rope dragger oh you got
limb hangers rope
draggers yeah like it's just you kind of okay i couldn't you know i could walk
out of this room
right now okay and it'd be like you know what i mean yeah but i'm not gonna do
that well first of
all yeah because you talk bad about the america's bird i appreciate that and
look i'm glad that i'm
not gonna get up and storm out dude uh you might yeah but look you won't storm
out without teaching
me something i'll say that and i didn't know any of that turkeys are great yeah
their head changes from
red white to blue it's kind of like they knew that they were going to be america's
bird oh yeah
they're the fucking trace adkins of birds when they get real excited like when
you see when he's
coming in and his head gets that whitish color to it uh-huh he is fired up okay
so what does that
mean when their head changes to different colors look at this guy he's really
white like blue and
white he's torn between some feelings yeah blue and white he's he's in he's
like blue and white he's
coming in you hunt him in the spring during the breeding season okay blue and
white he's coming in
and he's he's he's thinking he's thinking about ass okay so he's looking for
sex but yeah what l
had us we were in the off seat they were in the locker room and we went to
chase him they were not
even on the field they were fucking back there you know getting uh physical
there i mean we were in
some i was like should we even yeah some of them had their towels around their
necks they were
texting their wives like it was there was the off season if he's coming in like
he's coming in you
see a blue head okay and then all of a sudden you know what and he's coming in
he's all puffed out
and they did another thing so i know i'm sorry well they got so they got the
big you heard the
big gobble yes all right if you're if you're telling a turkey hunting story and
you get to the
part of the story where like picture you're telling a story that has a gun in
it okay and we get to
the part of the story where the gun goes off you go like and i heard bang right
it's not what it
sounds like right but you go back and then yeah a friend of mine's latvian and
when they hear
when they get to a part of a story where the gun goes off they say blouch okay
so if you're telling
a turkey story and he gobbles it's hard to make the gobble noise so in a story
you'd go
yeah but it's like but if you when he's coming in like if he's coming in and he
thinks he's coming
into a hen you're making a hen noise yeah yeah so the noise that the man that
that um like michael
was making and he makes that noise really well oh yeah he's he's the best of
the best oh yeah i mean
he was calling a couple of fucking but i mean even some busty chicks from the
gas station he was like
he was competitive yeah yeah so he's making a hen noise and what's what's oh
dude people were dudes
were coming out of the closet when he was doing i mean he'll fucking he'll call
he'll he'll get you
he'll get people go he's very good and what what like what would happen and
what would happen in the
natural setting there is the gobbler is just cruising okay and the gobbler is
that big male turkey he's
big male turkey he's cruising and chicks are supposed to hear him and like he
doesn't he he's kind of got
his little route and they're supposed to kind of come into him so he's on the
highway going down the
highway and they're kind of coming on the ramps okay the on ramps to catch him
oh oh so what you're
trying to do is you're trying to get him to be like well i'm going to go over
there and have a see
like that's not normally what i would do right what is going on over there i
need to go out of my way
now to go have a see what's happening if when he's coming you see like a blue
head and he's coming and
he's going like this you can't hear it like if you hear it he's in range he's
going here's what it
sounds like he's okay he's doing two things he's spitting okay he's making a
noise we always goof
on it and go like but it's like he's making a noise with his mouth okay and he's
taking his wings
and on the ground okay and that is the that is a like extremely exciting noise
to hear so the first
part is with their actual they do it with their mouth and the second part they
do it with their
wings on the ground and he's drumming wow so it's a real mating call yeah like
he'll you'll hear him
like you'll hear him he's kind of like making he's like doing a vocalization he's
doing a vocalization
but like he's got his his wings you'll hear on the ground okay and you'll even
see you'll sometimes be
going down a sandy trail or something you'll see the wing drags and you can
tell that one's been
cutting it out there and they do this little dance wow oh yes dude it's the
best thing in the world
but if he's coming in and all of a sudden his head turns red his head turns red
and lifts up
and if he goes games up oh he knows he knows that you he knows that he knows
that it's not good
like when you hear that noise he's on his way out okay but what's the problem
wait when you hear what
noise is on the way at that when he putts oh when he putts his head goes boom
red lifts up and putts
he's gone but they don't do anything too quick but that's his way of saying
like i don't like it
wow this isn't about ladies anymore oh it's about dudes being secretive
pretending they're women no
they're like an absolutely fascinating bird you know i took uh wow yeah i didn't
know years ago like
you've been uh you know you know rogan i took turkey hunting with him years ago
and he wound up being
kind of underwhelmed by turkeys there might be something like uh like some kind
of like offshoot of
being a comedian is that you can't appreciate turkeys well i think there's
think that there
might be something to that that's a good question i think um oh i remember
watching this he had brian
callen too which was that's hilarious oh yeah they didn't appreciate turkeys
drove me yeah i know
turkey people do not like it if you do not like turk talking to being um
thinking about turkey no if you
just said something bad about my three kids i've been like yeah i see that
i'm like yeah that's fair but like with the turkey deal no right it's baked
yeah turkeys baked into
american history i didn't know that much about turkeys i think if i knew some
of this and maybe i
didn't even i didn't ask enough stuff you know i think if i'd have asked more
stuff and i'd have
known a little bit more of like the lower i think i probably would have been
more hyped about it
yeah can i hit you with one more lower bit yeah sure so
when at the time of like when europeans arrived in north america
uh there were turkeys they think there may be turkeys in like 34 states and
then they were
extirpated from many of those states because they were good to eat everybody
wanted to eat them
people to hunt them at night shoot them out of the trees at night oh it was a
popular food item
yeah and they nearly wiped them out and it got to where there's only turkeys
hiding out
in like the deepest patches of swamps up in the highest mountain woods you know
hiding out here and
there and it got bad right there's only a couple states where you're allowed to
hunt them anymore
and then they started putting them back out there you can hunt turkeys and uh
you can hunt turkeys now
in 49 states wow you can hunt turkeys now in more states than had turkeys
a cost to that of the bird is that people now take the bird for granted
like from a pr standpoint i was talking about eagles earlier
from a pr standpoint eagles are kind of everywhere now
there's still people who'll see an eagle and they'll be like oh my god an eagle
be like but dude you know we have a little shack in alaska and you might see 13
eagles in one tree
yeah so from a pr standpoint they have a little bit of they like you risk overexposure
as a bird
turkeys are so everywhere now that now we have like town turkeys
but there's wandering around like stray animals so the mystique it like it
costs them
some of their mystique ah and then people will get a sense from town turkeys
which aren't hunted
they'll get a sense of that a turkey is whatever that he's not cautious that he's
not careful
right right that'll just use any crosswalk or whatever yeah so a lot of times
when people
disparage the turkey they're referring to some town turkey but they don't know
what a turkey he's out
there busting ass in the woods yeah with people trying to kill him and coyotes
trying to kill him
and bobcats trying to kill him and red fox trying to kill him and possums
eating their eggs and skunks
eating their eggs and raccoons eating their eggs great horned owls blasting
them out of trees
and they survive through all that so when i think of a turkey i'm thinking of a
persecuted turkey
some people are thinking of a town turkey yeah it's just different yeah i think
i was probably thinking
of like yeah i mean there's a turkey right there it's almost town turkey yeah
catching a bus to work
or whatever i mean that's fucking unbelievable that that's what's going on but
no i didn't i didn't
know i mean i think that gives me like definitely a different appreciation for
them i didn't know
they had so much baked in like they're there's such a thermometer of like
sexual activity and so many
like little ratings are relevant right on them and the way that they operate
and the sounds that they
make they're a dynamic bird and that i'll agree to 100 man so all like here's
another thing about
them can i hit you with one more yeah most of the domestic animals that we
utilize okay when you go
when you go into a store and you see what's for sale down there for domestic
meats you know whether
you buy you buy weird shit like you buy lamb goat uh pork uh beef okay that's
all that all winds up
being like eurasian species of eurasian origin that became domesticated and
when you say eurasian what
are you talking about you're talking about animals animals that are indigenous
animals that are endemic
to europe and asia became like the domestics that we know today wow so when you
see like a horse
that's a eurasian creature um cattle came from a thing called the oryx okay
goats came from
other continents sheep other continents the turkey is uniquely north american
really okay so when the
spanish came they took turkeys they drew turkeys from mesoamerica brought them
back to europe and
turned them into like the white looking butterball turkeys through selective
breeding and then brought
those turkeys back to the new world but it's like the new world's contribution
it's north america's
contribution to the domesticated species that we know and love today got it so
if you go into a meat
market and you're like they got all the normal shit laid out turkey is one you're
like that that's
origin is here it's a it's a new world creature because the new world didn't
produce the new world
like they didn't like effectively domesticated new world animals but the turkey
is an exception
wow so that really is kind of our national animal huh oh yeah dude
Thank you.

Theo Shocks Steven Rinella with His Thoughts on Turkeys...

you have a show on netflix called meat eater and you guys are in your you guys
are we made a lot
we we we got i got a 13th season of the show coming out we made many many many
episodes over
the years yeah and they appear in a lot of different places yep we've seen some
of them
on youtube um i've gotten to enjoy some of them so thank you so much man it's
definitely exciting
to watch it's really beautifully shot to you guys's show you went turkey
hunting with mike
waddell i heard oh yeah i did yeah i went down there and it was fun but it's
like
i don't know some of the tur it's like they just seem like an unwell bird what
do you mean
turkeys unwell in what way they just don't seem like they're like a top like i
don't want to say
like they on it like i don't want to say uneducated they just seem like they
like they got picked last
for gym kind of dude that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard really oh yeah
about a turkey yeah if
you look at a turkey it doesn't seem like they like they can't do they just are
yeah they just
i don't know they weren't doing a lot dude it's a big ass bird his head changes
colors from red to
white to blue he tastes good yeah he's basically the toby if i could walk
around the woods making
insane noises yeah which i mean like he it's an omnivore it can eat all kinds
of it can eat all
kinds of stuff okay well now you're selling me on it yeah what else i mean like
what like what else
name a better name a better bird it's like you could be oh a bald eagle he eats
a bunch of rotten
fish from the side like like a turkey that's america's bird dude are you
familiar with a gentleman
named ben franklin yeah okay do you know that franklin didn't like the bald
eagle as a national
bird because it was a scavenger and he threw out some it's debated how honest
you it's bait is debated
if he was trying to be a smart ass or not ben franklin said america ought to go
with the wild turkey
because at least it's a vain bird what does vain bird mean it's beautiful he
puffs his feather the
the male puffs his feathers all out yeah he's got a snood he's got like a
imagine like a pecker
on your laid across your face okay that changes all the time it gets erect wait
it goes limp turkey has
that yeah dude it's like to just to like come in and like start disparaging a
turkey right off the top
of the bat you don't know me i'm just okay i'm just it's like very it's like uh
it's disrespectful
that is a that is a that is the the best that's the best bird in our in our
country okay well look
i didn't no one's ever first of all lobbied for this animal in front of me well
franklin well not
in front of you yeah yeah right i didn't know i didn't know him personally yeah
yeah yeah and you
don't know how old i am maybe i was there but no waddell did not waddell was
just like we're killing
these mfers and he used some slurs i'll say that straight up he used a couple
slurs and i was like
i don't think those are for birds or animalia even but he was like i think i uh
i think i just had a
unique um angle into it tell me more about that nose wiener that they got or
that nose called a snood
okay bring it up they got see you get into turkey anatomy man they got a lot
going on for them
they got a snood there's not many birds that have like basically a uh so they
have a cloaca
okay birds have a cloaca like called like a uni hole all their actions defecating
taking a leak
well when they defecate and take a leak it's kind of a single deal okay i'll do
that they have sex
when they shit you can tell a male from a female by the shape of its shit wow a
male throws a j shake
hooked shit so there's not many birds you can sex his shit yeah he's got a snood
they got spurs
sometimes an inch and a quarter long for fighting oh you ever been to a cock
fight
okay they got spurs look at that some of those spurs are so big you can hang
the turkey
by the spur on a branch that's called a limb hanger that means he's huge
some got a they got like pull up the beard pull up the beard pull up the beard
they got a beard which
is actually a feather look at that hold on let me see it when he's big when
that when that gets so big
that it drags on the ground you know what you call them rope dragger oh you got
limb hangers rope
draggers yeah like it's just you kind of okay i couldn't you know i could walk
out of this room
right now okay and it'd be like you know what i mean yeah but i'm not gonna do
that well first of
all yeah because you talk bad about the america's bird i appreciate that and
look i'm glad that i'm
not gonna get up and storm out dude uh you might yeah but look you won't storm
out without teaching
me something i'll say that and i didn't know any of that turkeys are great yeah
their head changes from
red white to blue it's kind of like they knew that they were going to be america's
bird oh yeah
they're the fucking trace adkins of birds when they get real excited like when
you see when he's
coming in and his head gets that whitish color to it uh-huh he is fired up okay
so what does that
mean when their head changes to different colors look at this guy he's really
white like blue and
white he's torn between some feelings yeah blue and white he's he's in he's
like blue and white he's
coming in you hunt him in the spring during the breeding season okay blue and
white he's coming in
and he's he's he's thinking he's thinking about ass okay so he's looking for
sex but yeah what l
had us we were in the off seat they were in the locker room and we went to
chase him they were not
even on the field they were fucking back there you know getting uh physical
there i mean we were in
some i was like should we even yeah some of them had their towels around their
necks they were
texting their wives like it was there was the off season if he's coming in like
he's coming in you
see a blue head okay and then all of a sudden you know what and he's coming in
he's all puffed out
and they did another thing so i know i'm sorry well they got so they got the
big you heard the
big gobble yes all right if you're if you're telling a turkey hunting story and
you get to the
part of the story where like picture you're telling a story that has a gun in
it okay and we get to
the part of the story where the gun goes off you go like and i heard bang right
it's not what it
sounds like right but you go back and then yeah a friend of mine's latvian and
when they hear
when they get to a part of a story where the gun goes off they say blouch okay
so if you're telling
a turkey story and he gobbles it's hard to make the gobble noise so in a story
you'd go
yeah but it's like but if you when he's coming in like if he's coming in and he
thinks he's coming
into a hen you're making a hen noise yeah yeah so the noise that the man that
that um like michael
was making and he makes that noise really well oh yeah he's he's the best of
the best oh yeah i mean
he was calling a couple of fucking but i mean even some busty chicks from the
gas station he was like
he was competitive yeah yeah so he's making a hen noise and what's what's oh
dude people were dudes
were coming out of the closet when he was doing i mean he'll fucking he'll call
he'll he'll get you
he'll get people go he's very good and what what like what would happen and
what would happen in the
natural setting there is the gobbler is just cruising okay and the gobbler is
that big male turkey he's
big male turkey he's cruising and chicks are supposed to hear him and like he
doesn't he he's kind of got
his little route and they're supposed to kind of come into him so he's on the
highway going down the
highway and they're kind of coming on the ramps okay the on ramps to catch him
oh oh so what you're
trying to do is you're trying to get him to be like well i'm going to go over
there and have a see
like that's not normally what i would do right what is going on over there i
need to go out of my way
now to go have a see what's happening if when he's coming you see like a blue
head and he's coming and
he's going like this you can't hear it like if you hear it he's in range he's
going here's what it
sounds like he's okay he's doing two things he's spitting okay he's making a
noise we always goof
on it and go like but it's like he's making a noise with his mouth okay and he's
taking his wings
and on the ground okay and that is the that is a like extremely exciting noise
to hear so the first
part is with their actual they do it with their mouth and the second part they
do it with their
wings on the ground and he's drumming wow so it's a real mating call yeah like
he'll you'll hear him
like you'll hear him he's kind of like making he's like doing a vocalization he's
doing a vocalization
but like he's got his his wings you'll hear on the ground okay and you'll even
see you'll sometimes be
going down a sandy trail or something you'll see the wing drags and you can
tell that one's been
cutting it out there and they do this little dance wow oh yes dude it's the
best thing in the world
but if he's coming in and all of a sudden his head turns red his head turns red
and lifts up
and if he goes games up oh he knows he knows that you he knows that he knows
that it's not good
like when you hear that noise he's on his way out okay but what's the problem
wait when you hear what
noise is on the way at that when he putts oh when he putts his head goes boom
red lifts up and putts
he's gone but they don't do anything too quick but that's his way of saying
like i don't like it
wow this isn't about ladies anymore oh it's about dudes being secretive
pretending they're women no
they're like an absolutely fascinating bird you know i took uh wow yeah i didn't
know years ago like
you've been uh you know you know rogan i took turkey hunting with him years ago
and he wound up being
kind of underwhelmed by turkeys there might be something like uh like some kind
of like offshoot of
being a comedian is that you can't appreciate turkeys well i think there's
think that there
might be something to that that's a good question i think um oh i remember
watching this he had brian
callen too which was that's hilarious oh yeah they didn't appreciate turkeys
drove me yeah i know
turkey people do not like it if you do not like turk talking to being um
thinking about turkey no if you
just said something bad about my three kids i've been like yeah i see that
i'm like yeah that's fair but like with the turkey deal no right it's baked
yeah turkeys baked into
american history i didn't know that much about turkeys i think if i knew some
of this and maybe i
didn't even i didn't ask enough stuff you know i think if i'd have asked more
stuff and i'd have
known a little bit more of like the lower i think i probably would have been
more hyped about it
yeah can i hit you with one more lower bit yeah sure so
when at the time of like when europeans arrived in north america
uh there were turkeys they think there may be turkeys in like 34 states and
then they were
extirpated from many of those states because they were good to eat everybody
wanted to eat them
people to hunt them at night shoot them out of the trees at night oh it was a
popular food item
yeah and they nearly wiped them out and it got to where there's only turkeys
hiding out
in like the deepest patches of swamps up in the highest mountain woods you know
hiding out here and
there and it got bad right there's only a couple states where you're allowed to
hunt them anymore
and then they started putting them back out there you can hunt turkeys and uh
you can hunt turkeys now
in 49 states wow you can hunt turkeys now in more states than had turkeys
a cost to that of the bird is that people now take the bird for granted
like from a pr standpoint i was talking about eagles earlier
from a pr standpoint eagles are kind of everywhere now
there's still people who'll see an eagle and they'll be like oh my god an eagle
be like but dude you know we have a little shack in alaska and you might see 13
eagles in one tree
ye