Name: Detective Tells Theo About Her Craziest Case Ever
Uploaded: 2025-10-11T15:01:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Detective Tells Theo About Her Craziest Case Ever' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Detective Tells Theo About Her Craziest Case Ever' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-11. Transcript available.

Take me through a couple more detective calls that were interesting to you or
that really stood out.
I'd say I always, my joke was always going to be that I was going to write a
book and the name of it was going to be Dick on the Sidewalk and Other Stories
from the Street.
The last few years I was a detective, I got like three of the craziest cases of
my life in year 31.
We had someone, a guy cut off his own dick and threw it on the sidewalk.
Oh, for what?
Because he was crazy.
He was mentally ill, but we don't know any of this.
So the call came in in the morning.
I was on the way in.
It was early in the morning.
It was cold out.
I remember that.
Oh, yeah.
I have the radio on and I hit the dispatcher, call a car and then start to
laugh.
And then she says, disregard.
We don't know what's happened.
So I'm driving to the station and then a call comes in again, sending a
different car because it was like the midnight shift ending.
Sending a different car, hey, can you go to this location?
Someone said there's some mail and a piece of mail anatomy on the sidewalk.
And we were all laughing.
We thought it was, we just thought it was a dildo.
We thought it was a joke.
That's why the dispatcher was laughing.
You just thought it was like a WNBA game or whatever.
It wasn't green.
Call comes in like 10 minutes later and my detective that I was working with at
the time looked it up on the computer to see the text of the call.
What does this actually say?
And then we saw that the caller was from a nearby health center and it said
there's, you know, it appears to be a penis on the ground.
There's blood everywhere.
We're like, oh, shit.
That's not fake.
So the patrolmen go up there.
And so that's our starting point.
We don't know anything else.
And literally there it is.
I wasn't there yet.
The patrolmen see it on the sidewalk and there's a blood trail.
So they start following the blood trail and it went, it went a long way,
several hundred yards and it gets worse and worse.
So it, that's how it starts.
So we, that's our starting point.
And the patrolmen follow the blood trail and then they're following it up the
stairs of this three family house.
It's like three apartments in one house and the blood gets bigger and bigger.
They knock on the door.
This guy opens the door completely naked, a hole where his d**k used to be.
And he's just standing there not talking.
And they're like, hey, buddy, you okay?
Like, and he's just like, he doesn't speak.
He just stares at them so that they're new.
They were newer guys.
I felt so bad for them.
That's a, that's a tough call.
They weren't brand new, obviously, but that's a lot for young, young guys to
see this.
Right.
Oh yeah.
Just see some cock down the street or whatever.
Why don't you, why don't you come in and sit down?
So they, and turns out it was like a group home for mentally ill people, but
there was no staff members or anything.
So there's three people in the house.
It is a bloodbath.
There's blood everywhere in the bedroom, the floor, the sink was full of it.
So they find that and they get on the radio and they're like, get us an
ambulance, whatever.
Cause we don't know how does someone alive, right?
So he's alive.
So I got called and me and another detective, my boss went down and it's on the
sidewalk and
they're taking photographs or whatever.
And they call once the ambulance find out he's alive, they just assume somebody
had bled out
somewhere and was dead or someone did it to somebody else.
He's like, no, I did it.
Like, oh shit.
Okay.
So he's being honest.
Yeah.
Well, he's just completely and utterly mentally ill.
At some other point he'd like cut off his own nipples.
He said to let the devil out.
So the poor thing was very mentally ill.
He was young, early twenties.
So once the EMTs find out this person's alive, now they want to try to collect
it to see
if they can reattach it at the hospital.
Oh yeah.
So we had done our photos.
I actually have a video of this whole thing.
I pulled video from the street, nearby surveillance video.
That's how I know kind of everything after the fact.
They come down to reattach it.
And we had just done the photos.
I didn't look directly at it.
We, I can do.
Oh, you never stare into it.
I know that.
You do like a weird blurring.
It's almost like when someone blurs out somebody's face and I'm going, that's
what your brain
does.
You're like, I don't want to see that.
I don't want to see all of it.
It was, it was big.
It was nasty.
So they try to come down to take it off the sidewalk.
They go to pick it up.
And what are they using a spatula or whatever?
No, I, he had gloves on.
He was using his hand and he had this weird, like clear cylinder.
He was an EMT.
He had this like cylinder thing.
He was going to put it in.
Like one of those bank, remember at the bank, you would put that check in the
thing and send
it back up through that?
Literally like that.
So he goes to pick it up and it's been so cold.
He's tugging it and it was frozen to the sidewalk.
No way.
Like that guy from Christmas story.
Bring that up.
But like it's tugged.
That's what happened to the poor guy.
Bring that up real quick.
Cause people forget that that can happen.
Oh yeah.
Oh, and let's get it.
Just, just to give us a, a descriptive visual, what kind of wiener are we
talking about?
And if you're wieners, I don't know if it's still, what kind of, uh, what kind
of wiener
side, like, cause that's just a sidewalk wiener.
What kind of wiener are we talking about?
It's big.
It was, it was big and it looked purple.
Yeah, it was, it was a black guy and it almost looked purple, but he went to
tug it.
And because it froze, he gave it a second tug.
And then it like, he didn't let go of it.
It like went in the air and this thing came out.
I don't know if it was his urethra.
I don't know what the fuck it was.
I compared it later to like a balloon streamer came like flying out the end.
Oh, that's some party confetti, baby.
I turned and dry heaved into the street.
I've never thrown up at the job.
I've never done it.
I dry heaved into the street.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And some young patrolman who was there, and this is all on video.
He's in his uniform and he does this little kicky, uncomfortable dance.
Cause he's like, oh my God, that was horrific.
Oh, he just couldn't handle it like that.
No, exactly.
And then later I pulled the video from the street.
We're like, how did this get there?
How did this guy get back to the house?
He had cut it off several hours before in the house, walked down the street and
he's completely
naked.
Nobody called police.
This is the best part.
There's people going to work.
It's like three or four in the morning, busy, busy street, driving down the
street.
He's completely naked.
What?
No one called 911.
And he's walking down the street and I have a video of it.
He leans.
It's he'd cut it, but it wasn't off altogether.
Oh, so he leans down.
Wow, bro.
That's that.
Whoa.
Tugs it.
That's that Memphis.
And then threw it on the sidewalk.
No.
Oh, so he, tell me that part again.
He what?
So he, so I'm watching this video.
So he leans.
Tell me that part again.
So I'm watching the video and try to find them like what time did this happen?
And you just see this form.
It's dark and he's completely naked walking down the street.
And all of a sudden he leans over.
I'm like, what's he doing?
And he's in the direction.
It's kind of from the side direction of his crotch.
You see his arm move like a tug.
And then he just fucking threw it.
And I, I remember when I pulled the video, I didn't know this had happened.
I watched it and I pushed my chair back from the desk and screamed.
I was like, what the fuck?
The worst part is he came.
So if you could believe something's worse, he came back about a half an hour
later.
He walked like a mile.
They said that's what saved him, why he didn't bleed to death.
It was so cold, it coagulated the blood.
So he didn't bleed to death.
He came back and he's walking down the street.
And as he sees it, he walks over to it and gets down on all fours and leaned
over and kissed it.
And then got up and walked away.
I thought he was going to eat it like a dog bone.
Honest to God.
I was like, what is happening?
What is happening?
He bent down, gave it a smooch and got up and walked home.
Oh God.
It was fucking crazy.
Oh my God.
The poor bastard.
Let me tell you, because I got to go through a couple beats of that story.
And dear God, let me just say that out loud so God knows that we're just alarmed
by this.
First of all, the fact that he cut it and it was just hanging there.
He didn't do the job.
Just like a piece of Memphis mistletoe just hanging there.
That's so wild.
Yeah, it was nuts.
Like mistletoe at a Diddy party or something, dude.
And then he tugged it off.
I can't even imagine.
Gives it a tug.
Because you've read like a little hangnail when you pull it off.
Kills.
And this is like, there's a lot of nerve endings down there.
Oh, that's the ultimate hangnail.
Yeah.
That's the most hangy.
That should be the name of my chapter.
Not on the sidewalk.
The ultimate hangnail.
That's the most hangiest nail that there is.
When you said that, it got so visceral, I think, for me.
And I'm sure for anybody listening.
Most men get the same reaction when you tell them.
And then I wonder what flew out of it.
Pull that up on perplexity.
Because I'm thinking that's just a little.
You know what it looked like in the photo and when I saw it come out?
You know what like sausage casing looks like before there's a sausage in it?
It's almost like skinny, opaque kind of almost, I don't know how else to
describe it.
It's like kind of gray and translucent.
It was like a little smaller than my pinky.
And this thing just flew out.
I just could not even.
Yeah, that's just a little wiener funfetti, homie.
Let's look at.
No, give me a gander at it.
Man, I'm trying to get a gander.
Yeah, let's look at the.
But let's look at the parts here.
Because it's fascinating to know what is that.
Yeah, I don't know what the fuck it was.
That's a vagina.
Oh, no, that's a wiener.
Oh, come on, man.
These days you can't tell.
The other day, my buddy showed me a picture of his naked wife.
She has a wiener.
And I was like, all right, well, that's a surprise.
Yeah, maybe it's a urethra.
Yes, because see, the urethral opening goes down to the end.
That's what it was.
God, boy.
Yeah, it was dicey.
It was a dicey.
And I remember when we got the call and I remember standing over it thinking
like, where did I go wrong in my fucking life that it's 745 in the morning and
I'm looking at someone's on the goddamn sidewalk?
I was like, what did I do?
What did I do to deserve this?
It's a question as old as time.
You know?
It really is.
Poor bastard.
I think a lot of women have asked themselves things like that overall.
No shit.
And in hindsight, how does that even follow up?
Do you guys keep that in evidence?
Well, no, they tried to reattach it at the hospital.
So they rushed him to the hospital with it and they did attach it, but it didn't
take, it was like a month later they had to like take it off.
Yeah.
Imagine that month.
Oh, my God.
So it's funny because of the group home, we were trying to find out what is
this kid's story?
What's his name?
Because the other kid in the house was not with it at all.
Couldn't even, he was just sitting there playing video games.
Of course.
It was like a bloodbath.
So we're like.
It's hard to get the kids off the games.
Right.
But these guys, they're like 20.
So I called the supervisor of the group home and I was trying to get some
information.
He's like, oh, him, we're trying to find him an in-house, a placement in a
hospital or a psych ward because he's, you know,
he's been exposing his peanuts in group classes or whatever, in group meetings.
And I said, well, you're late.
You're a little late because he cut it off and threw it on the side with the
guy.
He's like, what?
Like you could tell he shit himself because that's his, how someone's supposed
to be supervising.
Yes, obviously somebody's supposed to be there.
Someone failed.
Making sure at the very least someone's not lopping off their own wiener.
Yeah.
And I just can't, I can't even imagine the month wait to know if it's going to
take or not, you know?
I don't think he cared.
But still, just as I think.
He was obviously crazy.
I mean, I know that's not the technical.
But you don't think he cared why?
I mean, he cut off to begin with.
He said he was letting the devil out.
Like he's just extremely mentally ill.
And I don't think he even.
Kind of.
I mean, I think there's a part of a lot of people that think the devil lives
inside of their genitalia for some people.
Yeah.
And like I said, he cut his, he cut his nipples off.
He like carved something in his forehead.
Like this poor kid was, it was really messed up.
It's heartbreaking that people go through so much.
And I just, I can't imagine that month where you're waiting to see, right?
Like the bandage is on.
I can't imagine doing it.
Like how do you sit there and saw it off?
And he didn't.
Did he use a saw?
No, it's just a big, long kitchen.
What you know is it was dull as dishwater.
It was in some shitty group home.
It's not some nice Henkel's knife.
You know what I mean?
I'm sure.
Well, it's not like Hanzo's scissors.
It was like some plastic handled shitty kitchen knife.
It was like this long.
You got to see the knife?
Yeah.
We were up in the apartment.
Was it a basic knife you get?
Like if it's just, if you made your kids dinner, you give them a knife for your
husband dinner?
No, not a steak knife.
Like a little bit longer.
Like it would come in your knife block for like carving or whatever.
Serrated or whatever?
I don't remember that.
Oh God.
I don't think it was serrated.
I hope it was.
Otherwise.
Serrated might be more jagged.
But yeah, I think you would get it done pretty quick.
I don't know if we can.
I mean, the more we talk about this.
God only knows how long he was working at it because the bed, the whole bedroom.
So the kid I was working with, thank God he had been in the crime scene unit.
So he would go into scenes all the time.
Like he, we, he put on Tyvek suit to go in because there's so much blood.
Oh.
Do we go stepping through it?
Oh, the wiener holds a lot, baby.
That's the Lord's spigot.
The Lord of lots that day.
God, boy, yeah, definitely.
God.
And who was the other kid?
Just some honky sitting there playing double dragon or something?
Just some, he was sitting there, he was like a grown man with his legs crossed.
Like, so you know that's weird, the crisscross applesauce scene.
Yeah.
And he's sitting there like trying to, we were talking like, hey, do you know
what happened?
He's just like trying to look past us like because we're in the way of his game.
To play the game?
All right, this guy ain't, this guy's not going to help.
What game was it?
Do you remember it all?
I don't know.
I was concentrating on other shit.
Wow.
Yeah, he's literally just trying to look around us.
I bet it was one player.
They didn't have a lot of two-player games at that time.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
But the worst, imagine you just, you're waiting, they wrap your wiener, they do
the repackaging,
and I bet at that point it's almost like the Masked Singer.
You're just waiting, they take it off, and you're seeing like, okay, is this,
what do we have here, you know?
Did this work, yeah.
What's the result?
Yeah, do we have a Shaquille O'Neal here, or do we have a Muggsy Bogues here,
you know?
I think you're just waiting to see what you're going to end up with.
Oh, that must have been horrible, the big reveal, you know?
And they're like, move that bus, and then the bus takes off, and your cock
doesn't work, dude.
That's the freaking worst.
God!
I hate that.
That was a day.
I hate that.
Oh, that's harrowing.
Yeah, that was one.
That's harrowing, and it's cold.
Was it so cold outside?
Was it hard to stand outside?
Was it that cold?
We weren't outside that long once we took the photos, and when the EMT came
down and collected
it, there wasn't else much to do with that scene.
So then we went up to the house, and it wasn't cold in there.
We were outside for maybe an hour, 45 minutes, I don't even remember.
Because the-
It wasn't like 20 below.
Right.
But it was chilly, right?
Yeah, it was cold.
But the part for me, I think that would be the wildest, is say you are, you
know, you're
so cold, you run out there, you're looking at the cock, and then it gets too
cold, you
got to run back into your car and warm up.
No, there was no running back in to get warm ready.
And you're like texting, like, all right, let's meet out there again in 30
seconds.
No.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you're having to battle the cold so much.
No, not at that case.
You're like, oh, yes, it's a black cock, and you have to go sit back in your
car.
Like, that's the part that would get, you know, having to build up the, just to
stay
warm out there.
God, that's insane, dude.
Yeah, it was fucking crazy.
And it is.
And that's the kind of shit, it's like, you know, you're sitting there, and
then you're
watching your kiddo blow out some birthday candles or something.
You go from that to something else.
That was the day.
We went out for drinks after work that day.
Oh, yeah, dude.
We were like, we're going out tonight.
Yeah, I'll put black and tan, huh?
That's what I'm saying, dude.
I love some Johnny Walker.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Detective Tells Theo About Her Craziest Case Ever

Take me through a couple more detective calls that were interesting to you or
that really stood out.
I'd say I always, my joke was always going to be that I was going to write a
book and the name of it was going to be Dick on the Sidewalk and Other Stories
from the Street.
The last few years I was a detective, I got like three of the craziest cases of
my life in year 31.
We had someone, a guy cut off his own dick and threw it on the sidewalk.
Oh, for what?
Because he was crazy.
He was mentally ill, but we don't know any of this.
So the call came in in the morning.
I was on the way in.
It was early in the morning.
It was cold out.
I remember that.
Oh, yeah.
I have the radio on and I hit the dispatcher, call a car and then start to
laugh.
And then she says, disregard.
We don't know what's happened.
So I'm driving to the station and then a call comes in again, sending a
different car because it was like the midnight shift ending.
Sending a different car, hey, can you go to this location?
Someone said there's some mail and a piece of mail anatomy on the sidewalk.
And we were all laughing.
We thought it was, we just thought it was a dildo.
We thought it was a joke.
That's why the dispatcher was laughing.
You just thought it was like a WNBA game or whatever.
It wasn't green.
Call comes in like 10 minutes later and my detective that I was working with at
the time looked it up on the computer to see the text of the call.
What does this actually say?
And then we saw that the caller was from a nearby health center and it said
there's, you know, it appears to be a penis on the ground.
There's blood everywhere.
We're like, oh, shit.
That's not fake.
So the patrolmen go up there.
And so that's our starting point.
We don't know anything else.
And literally there it is.
I wasn't there yet.
The patrolmen see it on the sidewalk and there's a blood trail.
So they start following the blood trail and it went, it went a long way,
several hundred yards and it gets worse and worse.
So it, that's how it starts.
So we, that's our starting point.
And the patrolmen follow the blood trail and then they're following it up the
stairs of this three family house.
It's like three apartments in one house and the blood gets bigger and bigger.
They knock on the door.
This guy opens the door completely naked, a hole where his d**k used to be.
And he's just standing there not talking.
And they're like, hey, buddy, you okay?
Like, and he's just like, he doesn't speak.
He just stares at them so that they're new.
They were newer guys.
I felt so bad for them.
That's a, that's a tough call.
They weren't brand new, obviously, but that's a lot for young, young guys to
see this.
Right.
Oh yeah.
Just see some cock down the street or whatever.
Why don't you, why don't you come in and sit down?
So they, and turns out it was like a group home for mentally ill people, but
there was no staff members or anything.
So there's three people in the house.
It is a bloodbath.
There's blood everywhere in the bedroom, the floor, the sink was full of it.
So they find that and they get on the radio and they're like, get us an
ambulance, whatever.
Cause we don't know how does someone alive, right?
So he's alive.
So I got called and me and another detective, my boss went down and it's on the
sidewalk and
they're taking photographs or whatever.
And they call once the ambulance find out he's alive, they just assume somebody
had bled out
somewhere and was dead or someone did it to somebody else.
He's like, no, I did it.
Like, oh shit.
Okay.
So he's being honest.
Yeah.
Well, he's just completely and utterly mentally ill.
At some other point he'd like cut off his own nipples.
He said to let the devil out.
So the poor thing was very mentally ill.
He was young, early twenties.
So once the EMTs find out this person's alive, now they want to try to collect
it to see
if they can reattach it at the hospital.
Oh yeah.
So we had done our photos.
I actually have a video of this whole thing.
I pulled video from the street, nearby surveillance video.
That's how I know kind of everything after the fact.
They come down to reattach it.
And we had just done the photos.
I didn't look directly at it.
We, I can do.
Oh, you never stare into it.
I know that.
You do like a weird blurring.
It's almost like when someone blurs out somebody's face and I'm going, that's
what your brain
does.
You're like, I don't want to see that.
I don't want to see all of it.
It was, it was big.
It was nasty.
So they try to come down to take it off the sidewalk.
They go to pick it up.
And what are they using a spatula or whatever?
No, I, he had gloves on.
He was using his hand and he had this weird, like clear cylinder.
He was an EMT.
He had this like cylinder thing.
He was going to put it in.
Like one of those bank, remember at the bank, you would put that check in the
thing and send
it back up through that?
Literally like that.
So he goes to pick it up and it's been so cold.
He's tugging it and it was frozen to the sidewalk.
No way.
Like that guy from Christmas story.
Bring that up.
But like it's tugged.
That's what happened to the poor guy.
Bring that up real quick.
Cause people forget that that can happen.
Oh yeah.
Oh, and let's get it.
Just, just to give us a, a descriptive visual, what kind of wiener are we
talking about?
And if you're wieners, I don't know if it's still, what kind of, uh, what kind
of wiener
side, like, cause that's just a sidewalk wiener.
What kind of wiener are we talking about?
It's big.
It was, it was big and it looked purple.
Yeah, it was, it was a black guy and it almost looked purple, but he went to
tug it.
And because it froze, he gave it a second tug.
And then it like, he didn't let go of it.
It like went in the air and this thing came out.
I don't know if it was his urethra.
I don't know what the fuck it was.
I compared it later to like a balloon streamer came like flying out the end.
Oh, that's some party confetti, baby.
I turned and dry heaved into the street.
I've never thrown up at the job.
I've never done it.
I dry heaved into the street.
And I was like, what the fuck?
And some young patrolman who was there, and this is all on video.
He's in his uniform and he does this little kicky, uncomfortable dance.
Cause he's like, oh my God, that was horrific.
Oh, he just couldn't handle it like that.
No, exactly.
And then later I pulled the video from the street.
We're like, how did this get there?
How did this guy get back to the house?
He had cut it off several hours before in the house, walked down the street and
he's completely
naked.
Nobody called police.
This is the best part.
There's people going to work.
It's like three or four in the morning, busy, busy street, driving down the
street.
He's completely naked.
What?
No one called 911.
And he's walking down the street and I have a video of it.
He leans.
It's he'd cut it, but it wasn't off altogether.
Oh, so he leans down.
Wow, bro.
That's that.
Whoa.
Tugs it.
That's that Memphis.
And then threw it on the sidewalk.
No.
Oh, so he, tell me that part again.
He what?
So he, so I'm watching this video.
So he leans.
Tell me that part again.
So I'm watching the video and try to find them like what time did this happen?
And you just see this form.
It's dark and he's completely naked walking down the street.
And all of a sudden he leans over.
I'm like, what's he doing?
And he's in the direction.
It's kind of from the side direction of his crotch.
You see his arm move like a tug.
And then he just fucking threw it.
And I, I remember when I pulled the video, I didn't know this had happened.
I watched it and I pushed my chair back from the desk and screamed.
I was like, what the fuck?
The worst part is he came.
So if you could believe something's worse, he came back about a half an hour
later.
He walked like a mile.
They said that's what saved him, why he didn't bleed to death.
It was so cold, it coagulated the blood.
So he didn't bleed to death.
He came back and he's walking down the street.
And as he sees it, he walks over to it and gets down on all fours and leaned
over and kissed it.
And then got up and walked away.
I thought he was going to eat it like a dog bone.
Honest to God.
I was like, what is happening?
What is happening?
He bent down, gave it a smooch and got up and walked home.
Oh God.
It was fucking crazy.
Oh my God.
The poor bastard.
Let me tell you, because I got to go through a couple beats of that story.
And dear God, let me just say that out loud so God knows that we're just alarmed
by this.
First of all, the fact that he cut it and it was just hanging there.
He didn't do the job.
Just like a piece of Memphis mistletoe just hanging there.
That's so wild.
Yeah, it was nuts.
Like mistletoe at a Diddy party or something, dude.
And then he tugged it off.
I can't even imagine.
Gives it a tug.
Because you've read like a little hangnail when you pull it off.
Kills.
And this is like, there's a lot of nerve endings down there.
Oh, that's the ultimate hangnail.
Yeah.
That's the most hangy.
That should be the name of my chapter.
Not on the sidewalk.
The ultimate hangnail.
That's the most hangiest nail that there is.
When you said that, it got so visceral, I think, for me.
And I'm sure for anybody listening.
Most men get the same reaction when you tell them.
And then I wonder what flew out of it.
Pull that up on perplexity.
Because I'm thinking that's just a little.
You know what it looked like in the photo and when I saw it come out?
You know what like sausage casing looks like before there's a sausage in it?
It's almost like skinny, opaque kind of almost, I don't know how else to
describe it.
It's like kind of gray and translucent.
It was like a little smaller than my pinky.
And this thing just flew out.
I just could not even.
Yeah, that's just a little wiener funfetti, homie.
Let's look at.
No, give me a gander at it.
Man, I'm trying to get a gander.
Yeah, let's look at the.
But let's look at the parts here.
Because it's fascinating to know what is that.
Yeah, I don't know what the fuck it was.
That's a vagina.
Oh, no, that's a wiener.
Oh, come on, man.
These days you can't tell.
The other day, my buddy showed me a picture of his naked wife.
She has a wiener.
And I was like, all right, well, that's a surprise.
Yeah, maybe it's a urethra.
Yes, because see, the urethral opening goes down to the end.
That's what it was.
God, boy.
Yeah, it was dicey.
It was a dicey.
And I remember when we got the call and I remember standing over it thinking
like, where did I go wrong in my fucking life that it's 745 in the morning and
I'm looking at someone's on the goddamn sidewalk?
I was like, what did I do?
What did I do to deserve this?
It's a question as old as time.
You know?
It really is.
Poor bastard.
I think a lot of women have asked themselves things like that overall.
No shit.
And in hindsight, how does that even follow up?
Do you guys keep that in evidence?
Well, no, they tried to reattach it at the hospital.
So they rushed him to the hospital with it and they did attach it, but it didn't
take, it was like a month later they had to like take it off.
Yeah.
Imagine that month.
Oh, my God.
So it's funny because of the group home, we were trying to find out what is
this kid's story?
What's his name?
Because the other kid in the house was not with it at all.
Couldn't even, he was just sitting there playing video games.
Of course.
It was like a bloodbath.
So we're like.
It's hard to get the kids off the games.
Right.
But these guys, they're like 20.
So I called the supervisor of the group home and I was trying to get some
information.
He's like, oh, him, we're trying to find him an in-house, a placement in a
hospital or a psych ward because he's, you know,
he's been exposing his peanuts in group classes or whatever, in group meetings.
And I said, well, you're late.
You're a little late because he cut it off and threw it on the side with the
guy.
He's like, what?
Like you could tell he shit himself because that's 