Name: Aziz Ansari Uses a Flip Phone... and It's Causing Problems
Uploaded: 2025-10-15T17:02:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Aziz Ansari Uses a Flip Phone... and It's Causing Problems' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Aziz Ansari Uses a Flip Phone... and It's Causing Problems' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-15. Transcript available.

Zuckerberg was a mathlete, Andrew Wang was a mathlete.
No, Alexander Wang was a mathlete.
A lot of those tech bros were mathletes, dude.
- Alexander Wang, the fashion guy?
- No, there's a new one.
- A new Alexander Wang?
- That guy died or something, I think.
- Wait, I don't think he did.
This is a different guy.
Oh, this is a Gen Z billionaire.
This is Alexander without the E.
- A Wang, they call him in the streets, boy.
- Whoa, he's 28 years old?
- In the tech trenches, deep in the modals.
- Is this screen with the guy looking stuff up with you
around all the time or just when you do the podcast?
- That would be so great.
- 'Cause I'm the opposite of this.
I never look anything up.
You know, I don't, you know what my wife said to me yesterday?
I, you know, I don't have, I don't keep a smartphone on me.
I don't, I blocked all the shit on the internet.
I don't really use the internet.
So sometimes I'll just ask my wife stuff
the same way you're asking this guy and she's like,
you know I'm not the internet, I'm your wife.
- 'Cause I, what I'm secretly asking without asking is like,
can you look that up for me?
'Cause I can't look it up.
And she's like, I'm not the internet.
It was a dark moment.
- You married, you married just to have the internet.
That's so great.
- I just needed to have a smartphone without having one.
And so that's why I got married.
She said that to me.
I'm not the internet.
She loves me very much.
We were just texting about how much we love each other.
- It sounds like it, look, we believe all that.
- It's tough, man.
It's tough.
I mean, I've, you know, I've gotten lost and had to call her and,
and been like, hey, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're.
- Where are we?
- Yeah.
- I can't find a map.
'Cause I, I, I live in London and you know, there's,
- You live in London?
- Yeah.
Most of the time I'm there.
'Cause we met in London.
We lived there and, um.
- Oh, your wife is London?
- Don't pull up the ex-girlfriend.
She's in some.
Some of these are wrong.
- Some of these photos are wrong.
Um, but anyway, we live in, uh, we live in, in London.
We met there and, um, you know, uh.
- Does she speak Danish as well?
- Yeah, she speaks Danish.
And I love languages, but Danish is pretty tough.
- Is it?
- It's tough, yeah.
- Is it romantic?
Is it considered a romantic language?
- Oh, this gets, this gets back to the donkey thing.
- Okay.
- So she said that, um, I was like,
well, what's like a Danish term of affection?
Like maybe we can use that.
And she said it was like, skit.
And I was like, that, that sounds harsh.
That doesn't sound very sweet.
And we were somewhere where we saw a donkey.
And she, and I said, what's the word for donkey?
And she said, asshole.
And she said, asshole.
And, uh, and she said it was her first word
and that she loved donkeys.
And I was like, well, why don't we call each other that?
And so we started calling each other that.
Yeah.
And now I have, you see that AE that that's here
on this, this chain, the AE.
And that's what led to us
meeting the little mini donkey in Nashville.
- Ooh.
- We are now.
Boom.
- God.
- ESL.
- ESL.
- ESL.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- Oh, you're my little ESL.
- Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, it's pretty close.
Yeah.
That's, that's it.
- Pretty close.
- I mean, no, you said it right.
You're actually saying it better than I do.
You're doing the AE, the combined AE.
Yeah.
That Danish is, you know, it's like, wait a second.
Now, now we're coming up with new letters.
You're combining the A and E.
I'm not, you know, I can speak Italian.
Okay.
My, my family speaks Tamil.
It's an Indian language.
I can speak that a little bit.
- Well, yeah.
- But Danish is, it's a tricky one.
- Well, a lot of our mix are cis and bi gender.
Now some, some vowels are like, there'll be a vowel that has, is trans now.
You're like, you're like, how do I?
- It's changing identity.
- Yeah.
It's like, what's the other one?
The AE.
- How do we even pronounce you, bro?
That's all we want.
- Hey, we just want to show you respect and do it right.
- Yeah.
- Do whatever you want, but just tell, we just need to know how to use you in a
word.
And some vowels now are like, I don't want to be in your fucking words or
whatever.
And we're like, bitch or sir, just be in the fucking word, dude.
You're a letter.
But that's where it's at now, man.
- It's, Dan, it's tough.
Cause we'll, we'll be there.
- Oh, that's not a real thing.
- Which thing?
- Isn't that...
- The O with the circle?
- Elon's kid's name?
- I don't know.
- Eso.
- You're saying it, right?
That's pretty good pronunciation.
No.
And whenever I, whenever we're in Denmark and I try to read a word, I'll try to
pronounce
it right.
And it's just, I just don't know the pronunciation rules.
I get everything wrong, but wait, how do we start talking?
Oh, because I use it as a phone.
Sometimes I'm walking around in London and London, there's a lot of like maps
on the street.
So if I get lost, I can find the map and kind of make my way.
But sometimes I like keep walking around hoping to run into one of these maps
and I won't
run into one and I have to call her and I have to be like, Hey, I'm over here.
You gotta, you gotta tell me how to get to the tube station.
And I remember that even when I first came to LA, I don't know whenever you
first came
to LA, how long ago it was, but you know, there wasn't GPS and stuff.
GPS was like a fancy thing if they had it at all.
So I would like print out directions on map quest.
And I remember, you know, I would call my little brother.
Uh, my little brother is a few years younger than me.
He was still in South Carolina and I'd call him and be like, Hey man, I'm on Cesar
Chavez.
How do I get back?
Cause we didn't have the stuff.
Yeah.
When you came to LA, was it like that?
Yeah, dude.
People had maps, drawings.
You'd have a guy who had directions tattooed on his arm of how to get home.
If he was an alcoholic or whatever, like shit was definitely more primitive
back then.
People would like just write on their dashboard, how to get home.
Like, yeah, people had to remember.
Remember when you just knew everybody's phone number.
Yeah.
But also when somebody would give you directions, dude, and if you missed one
of them or something
and you were going to a party, you just drove around the neighborhood for an
hour and then
went home.
Like you would drive and roll your windows down and see if you heard a party
from the
backyard.
Yeah.
We're basically like a bunch of like, um, uh, Magellans, you know?
And it's strange to think there's, there's people that grew up without knowing
that at
all.
And it really does seem nuts that we were able to be okay without it.
Yeah.
You know?
Well, it's like, you imagine now it's like we're going to the airport and
nobody's
going to go through TSA.
Right.
Cause that's how it was.
I barely remember that.
I barely remember that.