Name: Theo and Aziz Ansari Talk Miniature Animals
Uploaded: 2025-10-15T20:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Aziz Ansari Talk Miniature Animals' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Aziz Ansari Talk Miniature Animals' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-15. Transcript available.

And I loved your episode with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I'm always fascinated by Arnold.
Really?
Yeah, because I think he's so, I think he's so smart and, yeah, I don't know
why.
I think you realize, like, the more you're in this business, especially the, in
the kind
of movie acting world to, like, be an actor that's kind of had a few hits, like,
a lot
of things have to come together and it's not an accident, you know what I mean,
when these
guys have this run of hits, like, they've got to be really sharp.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty fascinating.
I guess we went to his office and there's, like, the, his, like, Conan thing is
in there
and, like, the sword, he's like.
Wait, did you meet that little donkey he has?
I don't know if the donkey was there.
There was some hair on the floor.
That's in his house.
This was in his office.
Oh, no, this was his office, yeah.
There was some hair on the floor, but I don't know what it was from, I don't
think.
Um, oh my god.
Yeah, there's a donkey.
Oh, because I think he's very Dutch like that or something.
Oh, he's very.
Oh my god, yeah, those are mini donkeys.
They look mixed, too.
I met a small donkey in Nashville once.
Oh.
First off, I love Nashville.
I, I, I go to Zany's a lot when I'm, like, working on sets.
Yeah.
Oh, I think I remember, that's what, the last thing I remember, I remember
hearing you came
to Zany's and did, like, six or seven nights or something over there.
Yeah, and one time, one of my favorite shows, The Power went out, and I had to
do the show,
like, The Power went out and we were like, what do we do?
And the staff there was amazing.
They, like, immediately brought candles out, and I was, like, yelling my set,
and then
some guy, like, brought, like, a speaker and a microphone.
It was incredible.
Oh, dude, I think, didn't they, I think there was an article or something about
that I even
remember.
I remember seeing a picture about that, or at least just hearing about it, like,
in local
lore, you know?
One thing about Nashville is, dude, it's a very small city.
Like, it's small.
It's, like, people, it's, something happens, you hear about it.
It's not, like, it just feels like a huge town.
How long have you lived here?
A really big town.
I lived here for, I think, almost four years.
Where were you before?
The pandemic.
I was in LA.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and I moved directly from there, because during the pandemic, I remember
seeing, like,
Kid Rock's bar, you know, and people are having a blast there.
And meanwhile, like, my landlord is, like, making us wear hazmat suits to get
our fucking
mail and check, because everybody's all paranoid and shit out there.
And I was like, fuck this shit.
I gotta fucking go, you know?
I've always loved Nashville.
I did a series for Netflix, and we filmed an episode here, and I always come
here for
stand-up.
I did the Ryman.
I'd never done the Ryman.
I'd always done some other theater.
I did the Ryman on this tour that I, a few months ago, and that's, that's one
of the
best, best places I've ever performed.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's that thing.
Yeah, that was it.
Yes, that, isn't that so crazy?
Yeah.
A power outage force comedian, as he's already finished his set in the dark
Monday night,
dude.
That was cool.
That was, like, one of those cool, cool moments.
That was fun.
But when I was here for that trip, to get back to the donkeys, my wife, she's
Danish, and
she loves, she loves donkeys.
And there was some fair here.
And they had miniature donkeys.
Oh, beautiful.
And we sought them out, and we said, what's up to them?
One of them, his name was, his name was Roger, and he was born October, October
4th.
So, Roger 10-4.
Ooh.
So, we met Roger, and there was another little donkey named Lily, but I, she
was, she was
a little big.
I don't know if she was a micro donkey.
Rod, Roger was straight up micro.
Lily was a little big.
I don't know if she was micro.
At that size, I don't judge their weight, to be honest with them.
You know what I'm saying?
Because the bodies, there's already a lot going on, you know?
It's like, yeah, I think, I think, I mean, look, I think they're beautiful.
I remember I met the world's smallest horse one time.
When was that, and where?
And this is, his name was Tom Thumb, and I met him in Alameda, I believe.
And how did that, how did that intro come about?
Well, people, people are like, you gotta go meet him and shit, and I remember I'd
been
in a bar.
Alameda is where?
California?
California, yeah.
Okay, so you were doing a show in Alameda, and then like, you gotta, you gotta
meet the
smallest horse.
No, we'd been out there for, I was just, I think, I'd heard about it.
I think I'd been in conversations about like, smaller animals, Animalia
generally, the world's,
Whoa!
The one I met was Tom Thumb, and if you can also look up separately, on Perplexity
here,
if you can just look up, Theovan Tom Thumb, I did a post on it, it was pretty
fascinating.
What's Perplexity?
Perplexity is like a different AI, it does, for me, I like it because it's, uh,
it can
help me like edit and pull clips out of things, like you can put something in
it, and it'll
be like, like, what clips do you like in this, what do you suggest, that sort
of thing.
Oh, wow.
So it's kind of like, it's like a, it's like an AI, you know?
It's far beyond my...
What?
I don't know any of this stuff.
Dude, what are you talking about?
Do people, how do your parents feel about that?
That I don't know Perplexity?
That you don't know about the AIs?
I mean, I know what it is, I, I, I, uh, I don't really use that stuff much.
Yeah.
I don't, I, I don't really use internet or phone or anything very much.
I try to stay off.
Yes.
Oh, here we go right here.
Let's take a video.
Let's, let's...
I am into this, though.
Superhero right there.
How long are you going to be here today for?
He'll be here all day?
How small is he?
Whoa.
And he's alive, too?
Oh, that would be dark.
You don't know what people are doing, dude.
But yeah, so just to let you know, I guess we have a lot of symbiosis there in
our love for
the small horses.
Small, uh, what are horses and donkeys?
What's that?
Ask the AI.
What is that called?
What are that, that kind of animal?
Horses, donkeys, the four-legged kind of, they're, they're similar.
There must be some group.
Yeah.
What is that called?
The equus.
Yeah, the equus.
The equine.
The equines.
But dude, when you think that God took all the beauty of a huge horse and put
it into
like a baby snicker of a horse, a little horse.
Yeah.
There's not.
Is there any other animals that have minis?
Like, cause there's many horses, there's many donkeys.
What is it?
There's many cows?
There are?
Oh, wow.
Oh God.
That'd be a dark moment.
You go to a steakhouse.
They're like, just so you know, these are all mini cows.
Yeah.
Oh, it's still.
That's too dark.
I'd have a little.
You know what I'm saying?
You probably could only have a little.
Yeah, that's true, dude.
There's not like a 40 ounce mini cow steak.
That's not happening.
It's like, here's one ounce.
It's like when you go to a sushi restaurant and they have that one little piece
of wagyu.
This is from a mini cow.
Oh my God.
They're all furry.
Maybe I'm going to finish this show and get addicted to the internet because
this is pretty
fun.
I never knew about mini cows.
I didn't know.
I would have just been wondering about equines, equists.
Well, look, dude.
I think you could get your wife one of these.
Let me see.
Miniature horses rarely exceed 34 inches in height.
Miniature donkeys also max out at around 34 inches.
There's mini micro pigs.
Oh wait, this is a whole list of everything there's mini of.
There's mini horses, donkeys, pygmy goats.
They don't call them micro goats.
They prefer to be referred to as pygmy goats.
Mini sheeps, micro pigs.
Micro pigs I've heard of.
Imagine a mini sheep though.
You make a very small sweater.
Yeah.
You're just sitting there.
Oh, dude.
We got to get some of these animals.
But dude, when I was a kid, they only had big dogs.
And then the dogs started getting littler.
A lot of this, I think, is crossbreeding and inbreeding.
You know, I grew up in a kind of an, not an inbreeding district,
but I grew up in like, certainly like the stray animal belt
and the inbreeding belt kind of like,
they run across some of the same plains in America.
Okay.
And we would see a lot of, you know,
people start getting smaller over time in the area.
And that's when you knew like, okay,
people need to start walking farther or driving farther for sex.
You know, because you just knew,
being readin' was heatin' up.
You know, you knew the kettle,
the kettle was gettin' a little warm, you know.
When somebody would have a baby
and they could just put it on like a key ring or whatever,
it was like, that thing's too small, you know.
You know.
Thank you.