Name: 1-22-18 Cormier and College | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #69
Uploaded: 2018-01-22T14:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '1-22-18 Cormier and College | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #69' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '1-22-18 Cormier and College | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #69' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-01-22. Transcript available.

1-22-18 Cormier and College | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #69

*music*
*music*
Yeah, that's Brad Levine right there
and that's a
AKA Better Off Barefoot
and that's the name of that
of the musician
Brad Levine
could be Jewish, could be Hebrew
maybe, I don't know if
Israeli is the term, Levine
one of my best friends
Levine
is Jewish
and I know that could be a similar name, could be one of my
brews, you got your bros, you got your
brews, that is Brad
and that's Brad Levine
AKA Better Off Barefoot
let's take in one more
little, little kick of that
he'll kick you in the fucking
*music*
kicking me in the gimel right there, boy
*music*
little funk this morning
thank you Brad Levine
Better Off Barefoot
for submitting that
and helping us all get on board on this Monday morning
and I had a little bit of funk
you know, I had a little bit of funk
in my life this week
and I was in Jacksonville
I was in Jacksonville, Florida
and if you haven't been to Jacksonville
it's like the Bermuda Triangle
of
it's basically like a raw, it's kind of like a Ross dress for less
but
it's alive
if you could imagine that
everybody seems a little, it's like everybody's
it seemed like, first of all it seemed like the whole place is the witness
protection program
you are in
and people are going to think that I'm ripping on Jacksonville
I actually had a great time
I had a great time
but Jacksonville
I mean it's a, it's a, it's a Bermuda Triangle
if you lost a friend in Jacksonville
nobody would be like, oh, that's crazy
they'd be like, yeah, yeah, you probably did
you probably misplaced a couple family members over there in Jayville
Duval
that's what they say when you're there
they say Duval County
and if you listen to Jacksonville Jaguars games
you can hear that in the background
Duval
they say that and that's Duval County
because that's a wild county
and, and
cause Jacksonville, I mean it's just
everybody seems like you're in the witness protection program
and I was even talking about this on stage
it's like
nobody's shaking, nobody's giving out any information
everybody's kind of got a court case pending a little bit
and it's diverse as can be
you meet a white person, but they are black
you meet a black person, but they are not
they are Jamaican
you meet a Jamaican person, but they are Hispanic
it does, you don't know what's going on
you, I mean you almost need an attorney
even just to introduce yourself
I mean you need like a
not an attorney, like a word attorney
you almost need a translator
you almost need a translator
you almost need a translator just to, just to meet people
cause I don't know, I did not know what was going on
but we did it down there in Jacksonville
and it's basically like, it's like, it's kind of like the Sacramento
of, of Florida
cause Florida is a wild place
first of all you have like, you know, you have a lot of money down at the
bottom of Florida and along the coast
you know, you got a lot of good old boys
and, and, and a lot of black community or African American
you might have, and you also have a lot of African American
I mean you have like American black and you also have African American
like people that are straight up from Africa
you also have a lot of, you know, Jamaica
I mean you got the, I mean it's just a damn buffet
and that's what you get over there
and we were in Jacksonville
and I was performing at the comedy club
and at first I walked in, man
and I, you know, I had some, you know, not
I didn't have any prejudices
I had, just against the place
it was like a huge comedy club
this comedy club, it was like they
it was almost like in a gymnasium
but they had made a comedy club in there
so it's huge
you know, you could, I mean your friend could go to the bathroom
you never come back
you never see your friend again
you never hear from them
maybe like a couple years later
you get invited to their wedding
like that kind of shit
like, I mean the comedy club was probably
30,000 square feet
so you gotta, like I remember when I walked in
I was like, what the fuck son
this has, it's wild
and my boy Dean down there runs it
and Dean used to play football
down there and now he runs his business
and we had a blast
you know, and it just had
it also had like this kind of black business vibe
and you, if you want to say that I mean that in a racist way
then you can say that
but I grew up in an environment where you had black businesses
and a black business man
they got everything, anything could happen in a black business
you know, you walk the show
you know, the show's supposed to start at 10:30
it's gonna start at 11
that we're gonna have a fashion show right before
you know what I'm saying
surprise motherfucker
we having a chilly cook-off
you're like, what?
it's 1:15 in the morning
and then they got a couple of bad bitches up there with bath tubs
full of beans and meat
and it's just that kind of vibe
man, you don't, you just don't know what's gonna happen sometimes
like, they could raffle off a Buick in the middle of the show
and you wouldn't even be shocked
so it just kind of has that wild vibe, you know
but it was awesome to see man
but at first, you know, I was just
I guess I was humbled a little
because I get used to being in maybe like sometimes fancier clubs
and you don't realize that you
you don't realize that you need to be humbled until you are humbled
you know, and I'm so grateful for that kind of stuff
because the last thing I want to get infected by is my ego
because that, my ego will be the death of me
and it will be the death of my joy
but man, we were in there
and dude, they had this guy
so the MC is this guy Antoine
and I don't know if I've ever been around a guy that was more
entertaining to be around
so he, you know, he's a black gentleman
and he starts telling me
that his favorite television
that he'd been watching 90210 reruns
and man, for some reason
that just
I mean, it just
I don't know
it's the last thing I ever thought
to hear this dude say
and we had
we just had a mixed group
it was like three black comedians, three white comedians
and everybody was having a blast
everybody was having a blast, man
and it, you know, we were sitting backstage
and people, everybody was joking
nobody was a better jokester
nobody was, you know, because somebody was
had only been doing comedy for 10 months
they weren't allowed to joke
or they weren't, didn't feel like they could put their two cents in
everybody in the green room
all of us had the worst haircuts
and they had this one dude
one of the openers
he looked like every character from Roseanne
all in one person
this Russian fellow named Andre
and we had this other dude
man, I'm still having fun
that's how much fun I had
they had this other guy
I can't
what was his name?
I feel so bad right now
but all he kept asking me
they have these new sex robots
that are out
and it's like a $1700 investment
these sex robots
and now they got some of the urban ones
you know, but I'm
one of the ones that like a lot of rappers
and that sort of
you know, that vibe
that are going around in that vibe
you know, the big asses
like all of a sudden
the big robots are out here
you know, they got big titties
and you know, and these
you know, bat-a-tot-tots
boy, these fucking bat-tots
you know
and they got these battery operated cooters
and everything
and they got these ass cheeks
and you can make them pop
and you know, sprout
or whatever they call it
I don't know what they call it
whenever you shake your ass
and somebody, you know, just
I think it's called sproutin'
but they can
all the robots can do all this shit now
so this dude, man
this other comedian guy
and
I just don't remember his name
and he
he wanted me to put
a down payment, right?
on the heat
because he thought I had some money
he wanted me to put a down payment
on one of these fuck robots
for him
and man, to listen to him
pitch this idea to me
that
you know, if you're going to buy
a fuck robot, you got to have a brother
to try it out first
and it's kind of fucked up
not to share, you know
you know, you don't want to be racially insensitive
and not share your fuck robot
with a black man
and I mean, dude
we were laughing
so hard
so I don't know
you know what it made me feel good
it made me feel good to be in an environment
because there's so much out there these days
where, you know, there's so much black and white
that that's the race problem in America
you know, because when you really
when you look at this other
other races seem to get along okay
you know, where we seem to kind of
evolve in
to each other some
or try to
I feel like
if you're not trying to do that
it might not be happening in your life
because it might not even be your fault
but if you're not trying
you know, then that's
that's probably not super solid
but I feel like it, you know
but black and white seems to be that big issue
black and white
and so it was just
it was nice to
not be on the computer
or not be on social media
or on Twitter
which has turned into a
just a bunch of people
just trying to fuck farts
I mean, it is just a fart fuck on there
and I'm sorry to use that kind of language
and I really am
you know, but it is
I mean, there's some people still having a good time on Twitter
and then there's just a bunch of furious people about
about politics and just a bunch of fucking Muppets out there
a bunch of button Muppets
but it was nice to be in a real environment
with regular people talking about stuff
and just having a good time
people who were not the same as me
you know, and so now you might think
you talk a lot about black and white stuff a lot
and I guess I do
you know, it's pretty near to my heart I guess
because I see it as something that makes a lot of uncomfort
in our country
and I think just in my own heart, you know
you know, because it was tough growing up in an environment where it was pretty
mixed
and being a child, you want to help people
you know, or wanting to help people that have less than you
or it feels like they have less than you or
you know, and then getting to adulthood
and being made to feel like you're not a good person
because you're white
you know, in most of your life
you feel like you've tried to make every effort
not to be white, but to be a person
so yeah, so man, we had so much fun
that it just
it melt
by the end, man, I was having a blast
by the end I was doing comedy in a warehouse
dude, you should have seen the sign outside
it wasn't even lit up
there was a picture of it on my Instagram
not a picture, but on the video
dude, the sign, like people
they said two weeks ago
a homeless dude rolled into the club, right?
he rolled into, you know, the children's clothing
the automotive section or wherever he came into this
I mean, dude, this place is a warehouse
and then they have like a little stage against one wall
and then there's a ton of tables
and you can hear everything
dude, if somebody has a bad idea
200 feet away from you, you can hear it go off in their head
I mean, the acoustics were just not good
but
but we had a blast
you know, and we had so much fun backstage
that we couldn't help but have fun on stage
and when I go back and do Florida again
I'm going to have some of those same guys
come and work with me again
because I just had so much fun
and it was nice to be in an environment
you know, when you hear all of this stuff
you know, race relations are so bad
and people are, you know, and fuck this
and no equality and this and that
and then you get into a place
where we all have one common goal
to make some people feel some laughter
and have fun
well, one dude's goal was to try to get
you know, me to put $1,700 down on a robot
he's going to fuck in Florida
you know, it was almost like that
back to that Debo thing, you know
with like, it'll be Bofar's
but I'll just keep it at my house
you know, with Debo trying to steal that boy's bike
in Friday
but it was, uh
man, we had a blast
we had a blast, dude
and Jacksonville is
I mean, it's
you want to go to a place that's diverse
and you don't even know what's going on
and look man, people 