Name: Trick Lung Mickey and That Love Connection
Uploaded: 2018-02-04T01:30:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Trick Lung Mickey and That Love Connection' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Trick Lung Mickey and That Love Connection' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-04. Transcript available.

Hey, yo, Theo, man. This is Mickey calling from Seattle.
So here's my situation, man. I'm 30 years old.
Thanks for calling in, Mickey, from Seattle.
And I will actually be up in Seattle or Tacoma in a couple of weeks, next month,
I think. Onward.
And I'm currently at the end stage of a lung disease.
Now, my current lungs don't have a very long left, probably about two and a
half years.
Hopefully, we can stretch them out.
But the silver lining is that I'm going to be soon on the lung transplant list.
I'm hoping. I'm going to get listed.
Wow, man. Congratulations on that.
So you've got two and a half years left on these ballast tanks you've got in
you now.
And then you're going to get on the transplant list. That's beautiful.
When I was young, my sister was born with a rare disease called biliary atresia.
And she got a liver transplant when I was 14.
But I remember being young.
And we spent a lot of time filling out these envelopes and mailing them off to
strangers to get them to donate money to get that liver.
You know, because you've got to get that liver.
And I remember getting pissed even because, you know, there'd be shit.
I didn't get shit for Christmas or whatever.
And I'd be pissed and my sister was going to get a liver and I wasn't getting,
you know, some fucking new BK nights or some, you know, some type of bullshit
or some socks or whatever.
Which will give me a few more years to figure this whole thing out.
And it's been a really difficult time.
And I've been single through it.
My question to you, man, is during this difficult time that's really ruined my
confidence, I wanted to ask you and the viewers what they think.
What are some good steps that I can take to start boosting my confidence and my
self-worth to be able to start getting back out there and start talking to
girls again?
Damn, boy.
Freaking no-lung Mickey out there in the universe.
You know, he got that last, he got a, you know, a couple years left on them
lungs and he's trying to inhale a little bit of love into his life, it sounds
like.
Man, that's brave, you know.
That's ballsy.
You know, because a lot of people, they got a couple years left, they could,
and it's obviously, it sounds to me, it's obvious you're looking for a little
bit of love.
A little bit of that aorta pump, you know.
You're trying to get that hitter up in your systole and diastole.
Because if he's looking for sex, you can get sex.
You go to backpage.com, you go to eros.net, you go to freesalmon.net and get
sex if you want it.
But obviously, you're looking for love.
So that's, you know what, maybe we leave, look, guys, if you have advice for
Tom, this dude's got two and a half years left on his lungs.
And I'm guessing if you don't get new lungs, you know, it's a breather's ball
game out here in the universe.
And I'm not trying to be cold to you, but you probably know it better than
anybody, Tomcat.
Or Mickey, sorry, I don't know why I called you Tomcat.
Because I wasn't paying attention to my own thoughts.
But Mickey, it's a, you know, it's a breather's game out here.
And if you ain't breathing, you out.
And I hope that doesn't happen for you, man.
But, and what I would like to do is, yeah, I'd like to ask our callers if you
have advice.
Mickey's got a couple years left, you know.
He's got them terminal lungs.
Dude's got, you know, he got them, he's coming in light in the lungs.
And what do you suggest for him?
You know, how do you meet a lady?
Some girls might think it's cool.
You're not even going to be around for a long time, you know.
Like, I mean, damn, that's dark.
I'm sorry.
I guess I'm feeling kind of maybe a little bit dark.
But that might be a good pickup strategy, you know.
Hey, guess what?
You know, you only got to date me for a couple years, you know.
Like, maybe lay down some money on your life insurance and, you know, hit a
lady up that way.
It's a dark take.
But I think these days, if a woman has a sense of humor, she's going to, she'll
like that.
You know, because women want that rescue.
And you got that rescue right now.
You have that rescue that's all over you.
You know, women want that, you know, that, they want that man on that
transplant list.
They want that man who's, you know, long, you know, maybe is, you know, on a,
you know, having a kidney issue or something, you know, has been in a, you know,
a fire or something.
Women are intrigued by that.
They want that rescue.
It's in their blood to want to help.
So I think you're going to have that going for you.
But how do you boost that confidence?
Yeah, that's wild.
You know, that's really, really wild.
But I think it probably comes back to how do we all boost our confidence?
And part of it is just, you know, I don't know if maybe some women have let you
down or made you feel bad because of this issue.
But if they have, man, you got to get back on there and just keep trying.
You know, it's just like last week when I didn't even know if I wanted to, you
know, I couldn't do it.
But I just, you know, came back this week.
You know, I had to freaking strap my lungs back in and get back into the studio.
But I can say this, man, I'm going to be up in Seattle, up in your area in Tacoma.
Let me look and see when I am.
Maybe we can find you a date.
What about that?
That's a good idea.
I'll be up there in March 15th and 16th.
I'll be in Tacoma at the Comedy Club.
So, ladies, if there's anybody that lives in Seattle or if you're a man and you
have a friend that live out there that might be interested in meeting a guy
like Tom, you know, that ticking Tom bomb.
Because that dude only got so much time.
Oh, it's not even Tom.
His name is fucking Mickey.
Damn.
Fuck, dude.
Sorry, bro.
Well, look, bro.
Who cares what your name is, dude?
You know what I'm saying?
It's not about your name.
It's about, you know, that you have bad lungs and that this is, you know, what
are you going to do?
And I'm going to try to boost your confidence a little bit by saying let's
catch up when I'm out there in Tacoma and let's get you a date.
That's fucking tricky Mickey, dude.
You know, he's got them tricky airbags inside of him.
You know, he's got two and a half years left on his lungs.
He's got them leased.
He's got them leased lungs.
You know, and I had a bad lease on a car a couple years back.
And it's not the same thing, but, you know, you only get so, I only got so many
miles.
I can only drive, I got 4,000 miles a year on a lease.
And Jesus, it, oh, it was miserable.
I remember pushing that.
Sometimes I would have to push my car to get to where I was going to not have
that odometer rack up.
And, uh, because it's expensive.
But, yeah, let's see if you have any ideas for Tom for boosting his confidence
when he's under the gun of physical impairments.
I know we got a boy down there in Alabama who doesn't have a leg and he stays
confident.
And I'd love to see maybe what his thoughts are if he doesn't mind hitting the
hotline again.
If you have an impairment and you deal with the confidence, but you got some
ideas for my boy, won't you hit us up and let us know.
And we'll see if we can't help him out.
That's exactly what I'm thinking right there.