Name: Detective Talks About Finding a Live Baby in a Trash Can
Uploaded: 2025-10-23T17:01:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Detective Talks About Finding a Live Baby in a Trash Can' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Detective Talks About Finding a Live Baby in a Trash Can' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-23. Transcript available.

There was another story to pivot.
I know that you had mentioned whenever our producer, Nick, had reached out to
you.
And thank you so much for coming.
Of course.
I want to say thank you so much.
You look lovely today, too.
It's a really great outfit.
Who chose that?
You did?
I did.
Yeah.
You did a great job.
Thank you.
There was a story you talked about finding someone who left a child.
Someone put a baby in a trash can.
And I preface this right away by saying the baby lived.
The baby was fine.
But that call came in for patrolmen.
There was like a senior housing on our district.
And there was a gentleman who lived there, an elderly man.
And he had someone who used to come and clean his house for him.
And he called 911 because he said someone just had a baby in his house and then
left with it in a bag.
And it was crying.
So the patrolman goes to the call and he goes up and talks to him.
The apartment is pristine.
There's no sign of a baby being born.
He said she was in the bathroom.
He's like, nothing happened to you.
Nobody had a baby in here.
So he called, the officer called an ambulance for a psych eval saying, it's
this guy, the old man, something's wrong.
Or he maybe has dementia.
I just wanted to check on and make sure he's okay.
So as the ambulance is pulling up, again, I have this on video.
That's how I remember the sequence.
The ambulance pulls up and pulls in, there was like a horseshoe driveway.
And they pull in the driveway.
And just as they're doing that, a girl is walking down the street, maybe 50, 60
feet away, maybe a little more from the apartment.
And it's a very busy street in Dorchester.
It's Dorchester Ave.
And she's walking on the street.
And there's a wrought iron trash can in the street.
And she walks by and she hears something.
She thought it was like someone put puppies or something in the trash.
She hears something crying.
And she sees the ambulance, goes running over and waves him down and says, I
think there's a baby or something in the trash can.
So the EMT comes walking down the street.
You could tell he thinks she's full of shit by the way he's walking.
There's no urgency.
Everybody in this neighborhood is full of shit.
There's no urgency to his gate.
He's just like, okay, because they get inundated with calls.
They are buried all day long.
He's like, all right, we're here for this.
But okay.
You got a haunted trash can or whatever is typical shit.
He goes in.
The typical haunted trash can in Dorchester.
He goes in.
And you can see his reaction.
He picks it out.
And then it's crazy activity.
He puts it on.
You could see.
This was all in the video.
But you can't see exactly.
You could see insane movement.
All of a sudden, he's on the air.
And at the same time, the officer was up in the house.
He said, what's the ETA in my ambulance?
He never showed up.
And at the same time, the girl had called 911 and said, there's a baby crying
in a trash can.
So this is all kind of happening at once.
So then we all go flying up there when they're like, yeah, there's a baby.
We don't have a mother.
We don't know what's going on.
The woman, I spoke to the gentleman in the house.
He said it was his cleaning woman.
He had a different name for her that wasn't her real name.
Because we're trying to track her down.
Like, is she bleeding out somewhere?
Is she hurt?
Does she need help?
It's like, what is the story?
Yeah, she just had a child, maybe.
So he said she was in the bathroom for a couple hours.
He thought she had stomach problems.
And then she asked him, do you have a pair of scissors?
And then she asked him for a bag.
And then, because I interviewed him, me and my partner.
And he walks, he said she walked out of the bathroom.
And she had like a big tote bag with her, like her purse.
And the baby was in the bag.
And he could hear her crying.
And he's like, what's that?
Is that a baby crying?
She's like, oh, this is nothing.
Yeah, I just heard that crazy dump or whatever.
That's crazy.
Then on the video, you can see her walking down the street.
And there's people coming toward her.
And there's a gentleman passing her just as she gets to the trash can.
She waits for him.
And as he goes past, she looks around, pulls it out, goes right in the trash
can.
So it turns out she had gone in there, had the baby.
She was at her 30.
She wasn't a kid.
And she wasn't mentally ill.
She just didn't plan on keeping the baby.
She had the baby.
How alone, I do not know.
And then clean the bathroom.
That's why it was so pristine.
When people think of women, like that's the power.
I mean, women, it's just like.
How she did that, I do not know.
She sat in the tub and had a baby with no help.
Women are powerful, man.
And then to clean up the bathroom.
Cleaned it up.
But she also is a cleaning lady.
I can understand, you know.
That's why it was so nice.
Yeah.
When the crime lab.
But also she, I guess, has to hide her, I guess.
Yeah.
Did you determine that she's mentally unwell?
No.
What do you determine?
It's so heartbreaking.
She just didn't want the baby.
Did not want the baby.
We don't know any of this at the time.
So all we have is a phone number.
She signed in on like the log at the senior housing.
And she put a phone number down.
And one of the patrolmen working at the scene, they blocked off the street.
There were like helicopters overhead.
This was like news.
It was on the news.
And one of the officers who was blocking the street, the traffic, we all get
the phone number.
And he starts looking through reports because he's sitting there blocking the
street.
He starts looking through reports because we don't have the right name.
That guy gave us the wrong name, like the wrong age.
He said she's a girl.
She was in her 30s.
To him, she was a girl because he's in his 80s.
He's a pervert too.
I'm not judging him.
I don't know him.
He said she's a good looking girl.
So maybe you're right.
The officer, the patrolman starts looking through reports and finds a phone
number attached to a different name.
So then we start looking and we find the driver's lights.
Like this, again, all took like over an hour because there's a lot going on and
headquarters is calling and everybody's like, this is huge, you know.
So this kid finds the woman's real name and phone number and they start pinging
the phone.
So it turned out after she put the baby in the can, walked down the street and
got on the trolley, took the T back to like to Mattapan, the train station, and
then got on a train or a bus and went to her house in Milton.
So we knew what her address was while she's in transit.
We're following, they're following the ping and she's like moving through the
city.
And then my supervisor and a couple of detectives, at least one, met her at the
house with an ambulance.
So like this lady, we don't know what's going on with her.
So they met her at the house and said like, hey, you got to go to the hospital.
Are you okay?
Like what's going on?
They went in the house.
She like rented a small in-law or something in the house.
They said there were no baby items.
It was full term baby.
There was no crib.
There was no diapers.
It was nothing.
So it was, she did not plan on keeping this baby.
She had no intentions of doing that.
Obviously she didn't have a single thing in the house, but they took her to the
hospital.
She was fine.
They kept her in the hospital for a few days.
But I mean, she, she literally tied the bag in a knot.
Like she tried to kill the baby.
Oh.
And that girl walking by, it was, it saved it because it was cold that day.
She saved that.
She saved that baby.
That's unbelievable.
They might never have been found.
Like the city comes and dumps those trash cans.
That baby's gone.
The odds that that girl haven't been walking by and hear it.
Yeah.
And do they repartner that child and that mother?
Well, I think she tried to kill it.
So I don't know.
The homicide unit came and took the case.
Why?
I don't know because, you know, the baby lived, but it's obviously a biggie.
So they ended up taking it.
It took four, like four years to go through court.
It was during COVID.
I remember people wearing masks when it was on the news.
But it took like four years to wind its way through court.
No jail time.
I'm like, that's attempted murder.
She tried to kill that baby.
There's nothing wrong with her.
She wasn't a scared 16-year-old.
You know what I mean?
She was just, her defense attorney tried to say that it was cultural.
And I'm like, do people throw babies in trash cans in her culture?
What the fuck kind of-
Was it a black or Asian, Mexican girl?
She was Haitian.
She was from Haiti.
Like, that's not cultural.
Oh shit, there she is.
Mother allegedly abandoned, newborn in trash bin, and Dorchester charged with
attempted murder.
Yep.
That's her.
She didn't serve any time.
No way.
She got probation.
Yeah.
None of me weren't very happy with that.
Well, yeah.
Because you just like the psychology of that person that's out in the world.
How could they value life?
Yeah, she doesn't.
At least not that life.
Yeah.
And how could you probably value one of the most precious lives?
Yeah.
Unless maybe there was some-
I wonder if there was an extreme circumstance of how she had that child, but-
We weren't told.
We were in communication with the DA.
Right.
Like, they never told us, other than it being cultural.
We're like, what the fuck culture is that?
That's not a culture anywhere.
Yeah.
Well, the media likes to make it easy, y'all.
Yeah.
But I think it took so long, because court cases were just dragging on because
nobody worked
during COVID except us or whatever.
I think everyone just gets tired of it and wants to go away.
I don't know.
Crazy.
Thank you.