Name: Theo Von Recaps Max Griffin vs Mike Perry l UFC Fight Night Orlando
Uploaded: 2018-02-27T18:47:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Recaps Max Griffin vs Mike Perry l UFC Fight Night Orlando' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo Von Recaps Max Griffin vs Mike Perry l UFC Fight Night Orlando' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-02-27. Transcript available.

I watched that Max Griffin fight you know I watched that Max Griffin and Mike
Perry fight
and first I noticed you know Mike Perry six years younger than Max Griffin Max
Payne Griffin
and you got to think that's kind of you don't think a lot of times about age
being a huge
factor but that means that Max Griffin has had that's 365 what six years or
that's 2,000 more
days of training that Max Griffin has had you know and I know there's that you
know there's that other
side of the coin where if somebody gets too old they start to you know they
start to deteriorate
but I think you're still on that anterior rate you're still heading uphill so
he's had 2,000 more
days to train to eat you know to try out different vitamins you know to do
whatever you know he's had
2,000 more days but you know this was an exciting fight I think people were
excited not just this is
the fourth fight I ever watched maybe or fifth fight but you know they try to
pull each other's
pants down at the um at the body ceremony because in the beginning you know if
you're new to
MMA kickboxing there is a body ceremony where they you know they meet up and
look at each other's
bodies and do the scale and everything and Mike Perry try to pull down the
other man's pants and I
thought it was funny you know I watched it I just thought it was funny you know
because it is nice to see
something a little bit out of the norm in this thing you know I mean it's uh
you know it's like
Rome it's like these are our gladiators and sometimes you're one of your gladiators
is going to have more
of a sense of humor than the other or and also these men respect each other
just seem like a funny thing
to me some people you know say different things about it but um but I like the
tattoos they had some
good tattoos both the men had some you know make a squid jealous you know a lot
of hot ink out there
you know you got your boy Perry has that cross and goes into some tribal work
on his arms you got
and he it says God's gift over his navel and I don't know if that means he won
you know if he
won a belly button contest or if he's talking about his genitalia or what but
then the other man
Mr. uh Max Griffin he has only God can judge me up here on his clavicle he's
got that clavicle
stamp you know that clamp stamp and he um and I guess you know you know he only
wants God to judge
him and that's what he thinks but they but it ended up being actually that the
uh that the fight went to
decision so you know the judges actually judged him and judged everybody but I
thought it was a good
fight man I mean I'll say this Mike Perry scares me bro because he has that
violent white dude in him
Mike Perry has that violent white dude everybody knows this guy he's like you
ever been over to
somebody's house if you grew up in a poor neighborhood or something you've been
over to somebody's house
where they have a wild dog they got a pit bull and when you get to the gate you
say do you put him up
put him up and they'll say oh he's up he's up no he ain't up put him up and
that's that pit bull dog
if somebody owns a pit bull dog you make them put him up before you come in the
front gate
and that's Mike Perry he's that pit bull dog you just don't know what he's
gonna do
you know he's that wild he's just you know he's aggressive and he's energetic
and you just don't
know what he's gonna do but the fight was good man you know Max Griffin looked
taller to me and I
don't know if it was some of the camera angles they were using but Max Griffin
probably looked
you know four inches taller to me and he looked longer he got longer arms and
legs so I don't know
who did the height maybe they use different rulers for the different heights
but it seemed like Max
Payne Griffin had longer extremities and it seemed like right out of the gate I
mean right out of the
gate you got Mike Perry comes in with a high kick highest kick I saw him do the
whole time
and if Max Griffin would have had a hat on a top hat he would have kicked it
right off his head
but he just missed him and he came up with that high kick out of the gate and
then Griffin
like 30 seconds into the fight Griffin hits Payne and you can see he get that
blood in him
he get that blood on on his head and he starts that body lava starts to flow
out a little
you know and uh and I respect that you know uh Perry didn't touch it some guy
you know if you touch
that cut then you start to spread the blood around and you're just adding to
you know you're adding to
that fiasco he didn't touch it he just let it flow just let it drip drip or
drop drop right out of
his uh brain cranium and you know I respected that and he kept going I mean he
didn't even and I don't
know if Perry noticed it or not he was in such a zone I mean when you're
watching Mike Perry
fight man it's like it's almost like he's fighting in a hallway if that makes
any sense he it's like
he's he's just in this one zone where Max Griffin it's a little bit more like
you know like the lens
like he's like he's fighting with more of a panoramic lens like he's you know a
little bit wider you know
like he's kind of seeing everything whereas Perry is just so focused in and at
the end of the first round
and this is when I thought I was like oh man Perry at the very end of the first
round Perry is on top
of Griffin and I thought if this thing goes 20 seconds more it could be a wrap
it could be a wrap
I was like it could be a wrap because Perry just there's just so much propensity
for violence in him
you just don't know what's going to happen you at any second you didn't know
what was going to happen
with Perry you know he it's like it's almost like a pack of matches you ever
put had a pack of matches
in your backpack and you see them in there and you're like oh I should take
these out because
who knows I'll put my backpack down or set it somewhere I'll check it checked
luggage or something
it could start a fucking fire at any moment that's Mike Perry Mike Perry is
match he's he's a pack of matches
matches in a check bag you're like I don't know if I should leave this in here
because at any moment
it could start a fire Mike I mean he's just at any moment he's just he should
almost have a tattoo
on the back it just says flammable uh peligroso you know just anything could
happen with him
but his stance but his stance everything you know he don't have that long reach
in his legs
you know he got them little you know he kicks kind of like a um it's almost
like a guy in a wheelchair
who likes to kick people you know he can only kick so far because he just have
he have that you know
them tiny kicks and I'm not saying the guy wouldn't kick the fuck out of me
this dude could kick my head off
of my neck and probably get a you know a hole in one from 100 170 yards but he
got them you know he got
them wheelchair kicks and then you got fucking Griffin out there and he I mean
this dude has he got ankles
how many ankles does Griffin have because his legs I mean he got that it it's
like he's got it's like
he's got ankles in his skin and he's got 360 degree ankles he don't even have
knees it just seemed like
he have big ankles in the middle of his legs he just had that much fluidity you
know he's just that
fluid and then round and and when round two and when round two started you got
Perry looks a little bit
more he looked a little winded I thought um you know the adrenaline kind of
boils off there after that
first round and at the beginning of the second round I feel like you can see
kind of what's starting
to go on out here you know you can see there's not that like that crazy tension
almost even the fight
even looks a little different you know it just looks a little bit it almost
looks like there's
some sweat on the lens of the camera there's just you know it's just a little
bit more things have
kind of settled in a little bit more and Perry has his coaches in his corner
they're yelling for him
and it's his you know one of his lady you know he's got his ladies his training
partner and she's ride
or die I don't know if you've seen their um you know their YouTube channel I'll
put a link to it at the
bottom of my mind uh in this in this episode but you know this is ride or die
lady they train together
she could whoop my ass this lady could whoop some ass you know I feel bad for
their kids if they ever
have children the children misbehave somebody getting their ass whooped but uh
but that you know
you got the ladies and the coaches over there and they're yelling at Perry to
get you know get him
against the cage get him against the cage but Griffin I mean he is he's just so
poised throughout that
you can see his plan like he has a plan the whole time and you can't get him
against him Griffin's like diarrhea
you know and I don't mean that he just
you know you don't know where he is you can see you know he's kind of bubbles
up here
he bubbles up there and he's he's here he's there he's there and then bam
he's the shit
and he'll fucking knock you out
and that's kind of how it that's kind of how it seemed you couldn't really
contain him
and then bam he's the shit
and he'll knock you out
and at the middle of the second round I start to see him get a little bit winded
they're both starting to see seem a little bit winded
and and and Perry's bleeding
I mean bleeding dude
I'm talking
second day flow
Perry is
I mean it's heavy
if I had this
I'd already be at the hospital
if I had even half of what is coming out of his head
a little bit
I'd be at the hospital
so I commend him
you know the guy is a man
I would be at the hospital
you know I'd already have probably filled out a will
I'd have tried to get my family members to donate blood
that's how
I can't handle that
and then Griffin brings him down with a combo
and and I thought that this could be the end of it
but the bell rings
and then when
and that's the end of the second round for these guys
and when the bell rings
you have to go do your own thing for like a minute
and I don't know why they do that really
but they just
I guess they want you to think about what's just occurred
and maybe if you have some issues
or some feelings you want to get rid of
or shed some
you know feelings
or say something to a friend
or text a friend
then you can do that
but then they
they come back out for the third round
and you start to feel like
Griffin has this one in the bag
you know you start to feel like
Griffin has this one in the bag
at the start of the third round
they're both winded
but then out of nowhere
Perry hits him with that snow glober
and that snow glober
that's when somebody hits you
and suddenly
you know the weather changes
and you don't know what season it is for a second
he just hit him with that right
just
and suddenly it was a little bit of
you know
it was a 30% chance of freaking
of cold dandruff
and it might have been Christmas Eve
for Max Griffin
you don't know
for just a
you know like
but it wasn't that bad
it wasn't that heavy
it was just
it was just a Halloween hit
you know it was just a
you know just a little bit of rain
and some Halloween
but he still hit him with that snow glober
and that's when
and that's
that
that's Mike Perry
that's the
he's just those matches
you just don't know
when he's gonna strike
or how quick it's gonna end
and at this point
as the second half of this third round goes on
I'm like damn
this thing is a war
this thing is a war
Perry climbs up him
he climb up to the second story
of Max Griffin
he tried to come in through the roof
he tried to come in through the roof
of that man
because that's
I mean Perry's plan
you could see
it was
it's just to win
and this
look
I don't know anything about fucking fights
you know
but I know how to watch shit
and
and talk about what I see
and Perry
like
it just seemed like
his plan
win the fight
that's the whole plan
whereas it seemed like
Griffin
he has more other little plans
you know
move this way
you know
do the stanky lay
you know
like
he had a lot of different little plans
put in there
wear him down
do this
do that
whereas Griffin
is just like
man
dude
I was nervous the whole
I was nervous the whole fight
and that's what Perry does man
he just
for some reason
for me personally
watching it
he makes me nervous
but I thought
at any moment
in that last minute
I thought Perry could have won it
because Perry has this thing
he'll do anything to win
he'll do anything to win
that's just who he is
he will do anything to win
and there's nothing you can do about it
and at the very end
you can start to see
where it was really getting even
and I think if that fight
would have gone another 45 seconds
I wouldn't have been surprised
if Mike Perry
rips off one of his own arms
and just beats Max Griffin
to death with it
that's what I would not
have been surprised
because it was just
I gotta win this fight
and you know
I love the fact
that his hometown
was on
you know
his home
home state of Florida
there was a lot of respect
there in the audience
for him
you know
and that's platinum Mike Perry
and he's gonna be back
he's gonna be back
I would watch him fight
a million more times
you know
I think
you know
I'm not gonna tell him
what to do
because I don't even know anything
you know
I was in two fights
when I was young
and both times
I pretty much got my ass beat
I think
one time I think
I might have
might have got some licks in
or at least
you know
kind of caught this dude
hard in the neck
one time right there
on that
on that sugar shelf
right there
on that lion's lick
but anyhow man
I'd watch these dudes
fight again in a heartbeat
great fight
great fight
great fight

Theo Von Recaps Max Griffin vs Mike Perry l UFC Fight Night Orlando

I watched that Max Griffin fight you know I watched that Max Griffin and Mike
Perry fight
and first I noticed you know Mike Perry six years younger than Max Griffin Max
Payne Griffin
and you got to think that's kind of you don't think a lot of times about age
being a huge
factor but that means that Max Griffin has had that's 365 what six years or
that's 2,000 more
days of training that Max Griffin has had you know and I know there's that you
know there's that other
side of the coin where if somebody gets too old they start to you know they
start to deteriorate
but I think you're still on that anterior rate you're still heading uphill so
he's had 2,000 more
days to train to eat you know to try out different vitamins you know to do
whatever you know he's had
2,000 more days but you know this was an exciting fight I think people were
excited not just this is
the fourth fight I ever watched maybe or fifth fight but you know they try to
pull each other's
pants down at the um at the body ceremony because in the beginning you know if
you're new to
MMA kickboxing there is a body ceremony where they you know they meet up and
look at each other's
bodies and do the scale and everything and Mike Perry try to pull down the
other man's pants and I
thought it was funny you know I watched it I just thought it was funny you know
because it is nice to see
something a little bit out of the norm in this thing you know I mean it's uh
you know it's like
Rome it's like these are our gladiators and sometimes you're one of your gladiators
is going to have more
of a sense of humor than the other or and also these men respect each other
just seem like a funny thing
to me some people you know say different things about it but um but I like the
tattoos they had some
good tattoos both the men had some you know make a squid jealous you know a lot
of hot ink out there
you know you got your boy Perry has that cross and goes into some tribal work
on his arms you got
and he it says God's gift over his navel and I don't know if that means he won
you know if he
won a belly button contest or if he's talking about his genitalia or what but
then the other man
Mr. uh Max Griffin he has only God can judge me up here on his clavicle he's
got that clavicle
stamp you know that clamp stamp and he um and I guess you know you know he only
wants God to judge
him and that's what he thinks but they but it ended up being actually that the
uh that the fight went to
decision so you know the judges actually judged him and judged everybody but I
thought it was a good
fight man I mean I'll say this Mike Perry scares me bro because he has that
violent white dude in him
Mike Perry has that violent white dude everybody knows this guy he's like you
ever been over to
somebody's house if you grew up in a poor neighborhood or something you've been
over to somebody's house
where they have a wild dog they got a pit bull and when you get to the gate you
say do you put him up
put him up and they'll say oh he's up he's up no he ain't up put him up and
that's that pit bull dog
if somebody owns a pit bull dog you make them put him up before you come in the
front gate
and that's Mike Perry he's that pit bull dog you just don't know what he's
gonna do
you know he's that wild he's just you know he's aggressive and he's energetic
and you just don't
know what he's gonna do but the fight was good man you know Max Griffin looked
taller to me and I
don't know if it was some of the camera angles they were using but Max Griffin
probably looked
you know four inches taller to me and he looked longer he got longer arms and
legs so I don't know
who did the height maybe they use different rulers for the different heights
but it seemed like Max
Payne Griffin had longer extremities and it seemed like right out of the gate I
mean right out of the
gate you got Mike Perry comes in with a high kick highest kick I saw him do the
whole time
and if Max Griffin would have had a hat on a top hat he would have kicked it
right off his head
but he just missed him and he came up with that high kick out of the gate and
then Griffin
like 30 seconds into the fight Griffin hits Payne and you can see he get that
blood in him
he get that blood on on his head and he starts that body lava starts to flow
out a little
you know and uh and I respect that you know uh Perry didn't touch it some guy
you know if you touch
that cut then you start to spread the blood around and you're just adding to
you know you're adding to
that fiasco he didn't touch it he just let it flow just let it drip drip or
drop drop right out of
his uh brain cranium and you know I respected that and he kept going I mean he
didn't even and I don't
know if Perry noticed it or not he was in such a zone I mean when you're
watching Mike Perry
fight man it's like it's almost like he's fighting in a hallway if that makes
any sense he it's like
he's he's just in this one zone where Max Griffin it's a little bit more like
you know like the lens
like he's like he's fighting with more of a panoramic lens like he's you know a
little bit wider you know
like he's kind of seeing everything whereas Perry is just so focused in and at
the end of the first round
and this is when I thought I was like oh man Perry at the very end of the first
round Perry is on top
of Griffin and I thought if this thing goes 20 seconds more it could be a wrap
it could be a wrap
I was like it could be a wrap because Perry just there's just so much propensity
for violence in him
you just don't know what's going to happen you at any second you didn't know
what was going to happen
with Perry you know he it's like it's almost like a pack of matches you ever
put had a pack of matches
in your backpack and you see them in there and you're like oh I should take
these out because
who knows I'll put my backpack down or set it somewhere I'll check it checked
luggage or something
it could start a fucking fire at any moment that's Mike Perry Mike Perry is
match he's he's a pack of matches
matches in a check bag you're like I don't know if I should leave this in here
because at any moment
it could start a fire Mike I mean he's just at any moment he's just he should
almost have a tattoo
on the back it just says flammable uh peligroso you know just anything could
happen with him
but his stance but his stance everything you know he don't have that long reach
in his legs
you know he got them little you know he kicks kind of like a um it's almost
like a guy in a wheelchair
who likes to kick people you know he can only kick so far because he just have
he have that you know
them tiny kicks and I'm not saying the guy wouldn't kick the fuck out of me
this dude could kick my head off
of my neck and probably get a you know a hole in one from 100 170 yards but he
got them you know he got
them wheelchair kicks and then you got fucking Griffin out there and he I mean
this dude has he got ankles
how many ankles does Griffin have because his legs I mean he got that it it's
like he's got it's like
he's got ankles in his skin and he's got 360 degree ankles he don't even have
knees it just seemed like
he have big ankles in the middle of his legs he just had that much fluidity you
know he's just that
fluid and then round and and when round two and when round two started you got
Perry looks a little bit
more he looked a little winded I thought um you know the adrenaline kind of
boils off there after that
first round and at the beginning of the second round I feel like you can see
kind of what's starting
to go on out here you know you can see there's not that like that crazy tension
almost even the fight
even looks a little different you know it just looks a little bit it almost
looks like there's
some sweat on the lens of the camera there's just you know it's just a little
bit more things have
kind of settled in a little bit more and Perry has his coaches in his corner
they're yelling for him
and it's his you know one of his lady you know he's got his ladies his training
partner and she's ride
or die I don't know if you've seen their um you know their YouTube channel I'll
put a link to it at the
bottom of my mind uh in this in this episode but you know this is ride or die
lady they train together
she could whoop my ass this lady could whoop some ass you know I feel bad for
their kids if they ever
have children the children misbehave somebody getting their ass whooped but uh
but that you know
you got the ladies and the coaches over there and they're yelling at Perry to
get you know get him
against the cage get him against the cage but Griffin I mean he is he's just so
poised throughout that
you can see his plan like he has a plan the whole time and you can't get him
against him Griffin's like diarrhea
you know and I don't mean that he just
you know you don't know where he is you can see you know he's kind of bubbles
up here
he bubbles up there and he's he's here he's there he's there and then bam
he's the shit
and he'll fucking knock you out
and that's kind of how it that's kind of how it seemed you couldn't really
contain him
and then bam he's the shit
and he'll knock you out
and at the middle of the second round I start to see him get a little bit winded
they're both starting to see seem a little bit winded
and and and Perry's bleeding
I mean bleeding dude
I'm talking
second day flow
Perry is
I mean it's heavy
if I had this
I'd already be at the hospital
if I had even half of what is coming out of his head
a little bit
I'd be at the hospital
so I commend him
you know the guy is a man
I would be at the hospital
you know I'd already have probably filled out a will
I'd have tried to get my family members to donate blood
that's how
I can't handle that
and then Griffin brings him down with a combo
and and I thought that this could be the end of it
but the bell rings
and then when
and that's the end of the second round for these guys
and when the bell rings
you have to go do your own thing for like a minute
and I don't know why they do that really
but they just
I guess they want you to think about what's just occurred
and maybe if you have some issues
or some feelings you want to get rid of
or shed some
you know feelings
or say something to a friend
or text a friend
then you can do that
but then they
they come back out for the third round
and you start to feel like
Griffin has this one in the bag
you know you start to feel like
Griffin has this one in the bag
at the start of the third round
they're both winded
but then out of nowhere
Perry hits him with that snow glober
and that snow glober
that's when somebody hits you
and suddenly
you know the weather changes
and you don't know what season it is for a second
he just hit him with that right
just
and suddenly it was a little bit of
you know
it was a 30% chance of freaking
of cold dandruff
and it might have been Christmas Eve
for Max Griffin
you don't know
for just a
you know like
but it wasn't that bad
it wasn't that heavy
it was just
it was just a Halloween hit
you know it was just a
you know just a little bit of rain
and some Halloween
but he still hit him with that snow glober
and that's when
and that's
that
that's Mike Perry
that's the
he's just those matches
you just don't know
when he's gonna strike
or how quick it's gonna end
and at this point
as the second half of this third round goes on
I'm like damn
this thing is a war
this thing is a war
Perry climbs up him
he climb up to the second story
of Max Griffin
he tried to come in through the roof
he tried to come in through the roof
of that man
because that's
I mean Perry's plan
you could see
it was
it's just to win
and this
look
I don't know anything about fucking fights
you know
but I know how to watch shit
and
and talk about what I see
and Perry
like
it just seemed like
his plan
win the fight
that's the whole plan
whereas it seemed like
Griffin
he has more other little plans
you know
move this way
you know
do the stanky lay
you know
like
he had a lot of different little plans
put 