Name: Gladiators Were the NFL Players of Ancient Rome
Uploaded: 2025-11-19T18:45:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gladiators Were the NFL Players of Ancient Rome' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gladiators Were the NFL Players of Ancient Rome' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-19. Transcript available.

Take me into the Colosseum. What was that like? Did people go to it? Was
everyone allowed?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Colosseum is open.
And why did it happen? Why did they build a Colosseum?
So, well, because they're Rome and they are hugely wealthy and hugely powerful.
And so they need to have the biggest, you know, theater.
So it was like Texas. We want to have the biggest thing.
Yeah, we want to have the biggest thing going, right? That's what we want to
have.
The Colosseum is like a later edition. Like it doesn't come until the imperial
times.
In the 400s? When was the Colosseum?
No, no. The Colosseum is, you know, in the first century is when it's coming
around.
It's like Vespasian is the one who kind of kicks off that project.
And then it takes many, many years to get built.
Vespasian also famously, when he was collecting taxes off of the urine that
they would collect.
And people were like, that's a little disruptive.
Are they collecting urine?
Collecting urine so that they could do all the – so they could wash the
clothes, right?
And he would collect a little tax on that and he would get money and be like,
oh, that's kind of a gross way to make money.
And he goes, money does not smell.
And so he also started construction of the Colosseum.
But so they do this – so in Roman society, like these games, right, gladiatorial
games, you know, the chariot races, all of these things are tied to religious
ritual.
It's all a part of these religious rituals and performances that were integral
parts of their society.
And so a lot of these games are in honor of this or that god, right?
And we're making sacrifices to the gods.
That's sort of the origin point of all of this stuff.
Was that true or do you think it was just a selling point?
Well, it starts that way for sure.
I think it starts out as very much a religious obligation and a religious thing.
And it turns into – I do think that there's probably just mere lips.
Like if you're a spectator, like you're there to see the action, right?
They were sports fans, right?
We all – anybody who's a sports fan would fit right in in ancient Rome
because the Romans were nuts for sports.
They loved gladiatorial combat.
They loved chariot races.
The best gladiators were famous celebrities.
The best chariot racers were famous celebrities.
And as you sort of go forward and get over into the Byzantine Empire, I mean
there were warring political factions that were tied to chariot teams, you know?
Like there was a huge riot in Constantinople between chariot teams that was
very politicized.
Wow.
So they took all this stuff like very, very seriously.
And throwing these games was a way to bring people in and entertain them so
that – I mean a little bit so that, you know,
it's the opiate of the masses kind of stuff.
Speaking as a sports fan who enjoys sports, I think that there's quite a bit
more going on inside of sports than just like,
oh, this is just a distraction by the ruling class to trick you into not paying
attention to what's really going on.
It's like, no, I mean feats of athletic strength are like pretty sweet, right?
Like, yeah.
Like watching great athletes be great athletes is like pretty cool, right?
It's like the pinnacle of what the human body can do.
And I love that stuff.
And if you can get passionately committed to something that is happening down
there,
then I think that that's really fun, especially if you're doing it with like
your friends and neighbors and parts of your community.
I think sports is actually a really cool, great part of civic life.
Yeah, and it's entertainment as well.
I mean it's – yeah, you marvel at some of them.
Yeah.
You yourself maybe played something at some point so you can envision yourself
or live vicariously through them.
I mean you watch some – I mean I'm not even like a football fan, but you
watch some wide receiver sprinting down the line,
doing an over-the-shoulder catch while tiptoeing both of his lines like inbounds,
making the catch.
Like this stuff is like crazy.
And you watch it and you're like, this is just inherently cool.
Like don't tell me this is just –
They're a little more erotic too at times.
I mean they are fit, aren't they?
Yeah, they are.
But so that kind of stuff, like that kind of like enjoying sports in that way
and competition in that way is a very human thing.
And the Romans were huge, huge for it.
So that's where the Coliseum comes from.
Is it true that the animals would fight the people and stuff?
I mean this stuff gets into – those were usually like – I mean it's overblown.
Like when you see it in the Gladiator movies, like certainly things would go on.
But those were usually like if the exotic animals – so like exotic animals
absolutely brought in to the mix.
Okay.
Which, you know, showing off an exotic animal is both take a look at this
exotic animal, isn't that cool?
But also think about how much I had to do, how powerful and influential I
needed to be to bring elephants to you, to bring tigers to you.
Like this – like aren't you impressed with what I've been able to do?
So really showing off your wealth.
Exactly.
Like you're really showing it off.
So – but there would be hunts, right?
And there would be like hunting sort of exhibitions, like great archers taking
– they would go out and shoot tigers.
That's usually – at least my understanding of what would go on as opposed to
send a Gladiator out there and have them fight.
But, you know, it definitely did happen.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.