Name: Lainey Wilson Asks Theo Who He Wants to End Up With
Uploaded: 2025-11-20T17:16:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lainey Wilson Asks Theo Who He Wants to End Up With' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lainey Wilson Asks Theo Who He Wants to End Up With' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-20. Transcript available.

have you guys you're just getting married you get are you married yet or not i
ain't married yet
okay i'm making him wait oh making him wait he made me wait yeah yeah is that
your wedding ring
on yeah let me see that thing yeah boy when he opened up that box i was like
yeah i guess i do
i guess i do i'd have been dang a lot of considered it and i prefer women you
know
that thing's nice god where did he get that out of he well he uh designed it he
designed it did he
really yeah nuh-uh yeah yeah you see that uh-huh that would make superman sit
down for a half hour
that's it that's it we uh we got engaged at george jones old house i remember
seeing the video
seeing something of it oh there you go there he is mr hodge is right there good
guy he is a good
boy he's uh he just lets me do my thing and he does he is and it's just it just
works does it
my best buddy wonder what errors people make in that type of thing i guess i
mean it's so hard
because like people's schedules get just get so hectic well for sure does he
come on the road with
you if you're out or does he kind of pop in and out every now and then like he
he's busy doing his
stuff and that's great you know like i've always said like i have to have
somebody that has their
own dreams and goals and motivations and you know then we can we have things to
talk about and come
together and dream and i just didn't want to be the only one dreaming kind of
thing um but yeah he's
he's awesome he's he's killing it yeah i gotta check in with um with mr hodges
and see what's
going on if you have a family and stuff do you think you'll raise him over
there in nashville or
not do you know i will you will i will i think nashville is just a good spot
like even if you know
music wasn't a thing i think it's just i think they got like good schools and
um and i feel like you can
go far out right now you can go far out enough on any side and still feel like
you're in the country
you know i want to i want to raise my kids like i did like playing in the dirt
and um i don't know
i just want them to like be outside and and do the things that we grew up doing
you know what i'm
saying and like just enjoy those things too because you see these kids at these
supper tables on their
ipads and on cell phones i'm like oh gosh yeah grilling like digital meats and
stuff on there
yeah we uh we me and duck took um some kids that he coached last year to eat
mexican food not too
long ago and these two little boys across from us that's like it's kind of like
that's the
louisiana way of kind of saying we're having a united nations meeting exactly
that's what was
happening look look honey look yeah but these two boys sitting across from us
they were uh twins and
they were just like for 17 years old like carrying on great conversation making
eye contact like it was
you could just tell that they were like raised right and then i realized they
said they had never
had social media and i was like that's why you can carry on a conversation dang
dang well a lot of
people are homeschooling their kids now too and keeping everything away from
them you know which
i'm not trying to like you know keep everything away from them because i think
then you kind of mess up
you know well they said there's pedophiles in the roadblocks now that's what i
heard yesterday
you know that's i'm and i yeah i've heard it uh-huh they're everywhere well
yeah but i didn't think
they were in the roadblocks honey you know i know they're right on these
streets roadblocks facing
mounting lawsuits as parents across us a company enables child predators stop
so i just want you to think
i'm making that up stop that's how i feel too i discontinue my account i just
only had it for two
weeks you have to be protecting and watching like that's what i'm saying you
could do homeschooling
i want you to homeschool my kids i'd love for you uncle theo
all right dude that would be so great that would be terrible what are you
talking about man you would
teach them something you would teach them you would educate them oh hell yeah
you would educate them
i teach them how to do cpr uh-huh with a unique style that a lot of people don't
do which is what a
lot of people breathe straight into the lungs i kind of take a roundabout
pattern what are you like
people's elbow on them i do different stuff okay but are you really certified
decent success rate
yeah i'm certified in cpr honey yeah i think it would be fun to like teach a
kid something cool you
know if i had me a little kid i think i would do homeschooling if my wife wants
to do homeschooling
i would be for it but i don't want the homeschool kid that stays at home and
never meets any kids even
on the weekend or whatever i'm gonna set your ass up let me let me think who i
can set you up you are
i'm gonna set you up oh yeah thanks what's your type
woman just a full grown woman yeah i mean yeah obviously uh but yeah adult
woman
positive attitude warm eyes wants to be a mom okay what else hard worker okay
right so a nurse i think i would like
but i think i may just say that because of hard worker yep but okay i gotta
pray a little bit more
about it too and just help get my kind of sights lined up you know let the lord
kind of i'm gonna tell
do something he can yeah he can he i'll be praying for it too yeah thanks
because i i you can meet people but you gotta like you know you just gotta meet
the right one it's something you just gotta be patient too
that's right and he'll make it clear right it always does and i always heard
that
wah wah wah about you know when you know and really stuff but like i i do
believe it now
did you lock did you make like a little um list list or altar or whatever
an altar or like a yeah yeah i made a list of like i went through some doozies
i'm talking about like stuff i'm i'm embarrassed about now you know what i'm
saying i'm sorry
god bless you um but embarrassed
embarrassed to think that i let somebody do me that way yeah and then uh
and then met somebody who just would never in a million years
but i did like i took a few years to myself didn't even go on a date
like but also nobody asked me out either
like wouldn't nobody ask me out god
and um
but those years were like really important for me
and i figured out i'm like okay like no more playing around like i'm i'm the
next person i'm
dating like it's got to be i'm not gonna spend a few years of my life with this
person if it's not
like going in the direction that that it's supposed to and um so i i was like
okay yes i want somebody
who is like you just said like hard working and i hate to say that this is even
a quality on my list
but loyal you know that should just be i should just be yeah
you know it's gonna be a quality um
it is kind of true
i know
we've gotten to a sad place
i know
that i'm gonna be their only spouse
yeah i would love to be their only spouse
um but yeah i think
like write it down and
yeah i just have to be more intentional about it
you know
i've been get i've been i've done some of that but i want to do i want to do
even more of it
because i want to see how fine-tuned could you get that arrow you know
if you really locked in with some intention
but i do notice myself not spending time like a lot of times like wasting it in
areas you know
or trying not to spend my time wasting it in certain areas you know
yes
it's just kind of like cutting the crap
yeah
yeah
and i think that's a big step right there
right as you decide and
yeah
is just being like
just no more
i want something
and then only only the real thing can find you at that point
yeah
you're gonna find somebody
she's gonna be badass
she better be
i'll tell you i'm already pissed at her a little
are you
yeah
yeah i'm mad at her too
thank you
i've got a couple notes in my phone
i'm texting her right whenever i get her number
that's it
because i'm definitely got
she's gonna have to be
i'm just trying to like envision what this chick
is gonna be like
she better work out of town sometime
i'm telling you that
okay
because i don't want her messing my house
that's it
that's it
that's it
i think the big thing i realized
i want kids
i want to be able to have kids
that have like a comfortable
a nice
like a emotionally well upbringing
so that's what i need
like an emotionally well woman
just a good girl
like just
yeah
well-rounded
yeah we'll find it
maybe she has a couple animals or something
or we could get some animals
because sometimes you meet a woman
they already got too many animals
you could see they're trying to do their own little zoo or something
yeah
put that horse in the front yard
on the front porch
you know
that's how
that's how y'all gonna live
well that's how
that was my old way to meet a woman
just put that horse in the front yard
you know
but i'm not doing that anymore
now the horse needs to go in the back
yeah
but i can't live like that anymore
um
and i can't live like that
and i can't live like that
and i can't live like that
and i can't live like that
and i can't live like that
and i can't live like that
um