Name: Sketch's Health is Still Very Questionable...
Uploaded: 2025-11-21T15:30:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch's Health is Still Very Questionable...' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch's Health is Still Very Questionable...' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-21. Transcript available.

you don't get on any apps i'm not on the apps you on them um no i got a
girlfriend oh you got a
girlfriend yeah we live together it's pretty what yes dude when i saw you last
time you were barely
drinking enough water remember your kidneys were bad yeah but it's still my
kidneys still suck it
is it's because you're not drinking any water water now i'm trying to i've been
drinking less
i've been drinking less less water no less alcohol oh good more water dude
remember when i saw you
in florida you were just like kind of glitching by the curtains last time i saw
you and it was i was
like get that guy a cup of water you gotta you gotta you gotta keep filling
that bubble i know once i
start feeling a pain in my kitty it feels like a kidney stone yeah oh you're
gonna roll dice out
of that bitch one of these days dude you're gonna hopefully i'll roll a lucky
seven or something
i feel like it's this thing's gonna fucking i don't know i i i only got one
kitty so i gotta take care
of it yeah that's what that's what i'm saying you down to that one bubbler homie
you gotta you have
to stay hydrated dude imagine if you saw a fish tank right and there's an inch
of water in it and the
fish are trying to live in there that's pretty much what's going on because
every time i pee it's
really hot and then it's dark so maybe if there's a doctor in the comments and
they release i just don't
go to the doctor a lot do you do you do that i want to go online you can be you
can get on there
easy like hey what's up tell me what's wrong with my kidney and my wiener at
the same time
bro they'll shoot your kidney your wiener is that the same doctor is that
different doctors you think
these days it's all in one dude you can go to a dude who will fucking prescribe
you
he'll they'll email you a fucking quarter blood they'll email you uh a little
bit of trt a pack of
fucking breath man so fucking they'll handle it all they got it all handled
dude it's one-stop shop
shop i was i was in mexico and you can you can get like what's what's the hg8
is it hgh the health
is health growth hormone where you get jacked or whatever you can get that you
can just get it
okay just get it oh yeah oh there's a cream now too they'll rub it on you have
you tried it before
hgh no i've never i can't try because i have one kitty so i'll just be skinny
fat for the rest of my
life i like kind of like just have this awkward build yeah but it's a solid
build i think
one thing that gets me is my nipples like they're kind of like off-centered
because i i lift one side
a little bit harder than the other so right now it's like i'm a little lopsided
that or have
scoliosis oh yeah remember school did they ever check at your for scoliosis at
your school yeah they
check for that a little bit more oh really no i'm just kidding if they yeah
sometimes they would
check the front for scoliosis i'm like that's not scoliosis this guy's a pedophile
you know
he's
that's not scoliosis at all dude if something i was rubbing his crotch while
you're like while you're
doing he's doing one of these yeah it could get it uh it could get sometimes a
doctor you know they
walk they walk the line between uh being creepy and re well not creepy but oh
definitely dude it's
it's scary out there dude i remember one we used to have one in our town and he'd
be like he'd hold
your penis while you coughed or whatever and he wouldn't even report anything
back to you that's
weird because he's supposed to grab your nuts is he really was he just grabbing
straight dong
yeah dude you're just grabbing a twinkie yeah dude grabbing the nuts is crazy
pull that up are they
supposed to grab the nuts or what if you're if you're with a doctor i'm pretty
sure i don't know
what's supposed to come down but i think something from your intestines like
comes to your sack and it
moves oh if i if somebody grabs my nuts while i'm trying to fucking sneeze i'll
fucking punch them
i feel like that's like a trend though that they don't do anymore i'm feeling
like you have to go to
school and they don't they don't they like you just have to you just have to do
that to go to
school oh dude when i was a kid yeah you'd have to go somewhere they'd fucking
polish your asshole
they would fucking hold onto your dick for a second and make you say the
alphabet backwards they had
to fucking they would rub both of these parts of your under your until there
were lumps i'm like
there's nothing there and they would rub them for like 30 seconds as hard as
fuck and then just do
all this and then there would be shit there and then if all those lumps every
time someone tells
you about those lumps it always just makes you schizophrenic because there's
all it always you're
like i can't tell if this is a lump or not this one says using both hands
gently roll each testicle
between your thumbs and fingers oh my god so it'd be like this is like you're
shopping for avocados
you're like money manzel what right here look maybe you look a little little
johnny manzel with the
with the testes maybe that's what he's maybe that's what manzel's doing clip
that and send that to
johnny bro watch this in 20 years he's gonna be doing testicular cancer like
how to check for
testicular cancer is that what he's checking for and he's gonna be doing this
yeah do they
i didn't know that i thought it was like for i don't know what oh that's it
dude and he's got a
two on two nuts don't forget that's exactly money manzel dr manzel i did i
usually do it until i get
heartburn you drink it so you get heartburn yeah i get heart i got i got heartburn
right now but
i got here at nine i couldn't check into my hotel until four and i'm on broadway
oh yeah but two
years ago i said dude start drinking water i've been drinking water it's the it's
the yeah it's the
it's right here it feels like i got shot in the stomach i swear it's in my
since i got my appendix
removed damn that's not i think that's not a conspiracy that's that's why i don't
go to the doctors
half the shit they say is bullshit dude of course dude all you need is tiktok
and a fucking
good attitude and a cash app account and you can fucking take care of yourself
these days dude
you okay this is like a true story okay but like this is this is like ever
since like how people
call me a lesbian or whatever like because your looks or whatever yes because
it happens to me
sometimes too some lady the other day said is that a wig on your head but but
the doctor made an
assumption at birth because i had one kidney and the way my face looked and
assumed and told
and told my parents that i would like there was a high percentage chance that i
was down syndrome
yeah what do you mean yeah i'm just saying like because the because the like
because the the look or
because the someone said it's because like my my eyes no i think you got baby
eyes you got eyes of
like like almond eyes oh yeah i forgot you do have that well i just gotta show
you my baby picture but
that's why i don't believe half the shit that they say and then when i went to
i if your eyes got that
nut shape on them that's a lot of the signature yeah other than i got one time
i got my appendix removed
and i'm not kidding you to test to see if they what was like i had pain they
told me to jump
when i had appendicitis and they probably laughed huh i jumped and i like was
like almost shit myself
i was in so much pain and where'd you get your appendix removed who removed it
um was it a sanctioned
place it was a sanctioned place it was pretty great except for i didn't know
until after that they put a
catheter in did i guess that's they put a catheter in that's a fucking pervert
it's some because they
go i don't want somebody looking up my wiener i'll tell you what's up there i've
looked up there
nothing buddy yeah they have to have like a use of a really small needle to
really get in there
but you dude if you're not drinking water that's why they're doing all that
shit dude because you're
not drinking any water you're the human body's 95 percent water and you're out
here fucking drinking
miller light and kool-aid and shit um that's because it's a weekend
you're out here drinking fucking it's been two years since i've seen you had
the same problem dude
you bring me to nashville you're out here drinking fucking hawaiian punch every
day
you bring me to nashville and you said you'd go down to one on broadway it's
awesome and what is
there to do there is just a like a it looks like so an invasion of of bachelorette
parties i'd like
oh yeah you'll see some thick and boots maybe a lot of thickened boots i know
they're ready to
march for something
you
you
you