Name: Tucker Carlson Still Loves Nicotine
Uploaded: 2025-12-11T13:00:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tucker Carlson Still Loves Nicotine' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tucker Carlson Still Loves Nicotine' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-11. Transcript available.

We want to support Alp, too, so I'm excited about that.
Well, that started on the show, which is kind of weird.
That Alp started on the show?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
It was your show.
You did it.
It's when they threatened me.
It's when PMI, Philip Morris, wrote me this letter.
You were on a well-known comedian's podcast, and you said this about our
product.
I was like, fuck you, and started my own.
And it's been really successful, so I'm grateful.
So did they get upset about anything you said on the show?
On your show?
Yeah.
Yeah, because they said it was like a boner cure or whatever.
Oh, yeah.
It's Viagra, which it totally is.
You think nicotine helps your erection?
Yeah.
Oh, I don't think it helps mine.
I don't think you're using enough.
I mean, I've hit a vape like I'm just, you know, like I'm keeping a train going,
you know?
Mid-act?
Like keeping like an Amtrak, like I'm leading an Amtrak.
But it's hard to vape while you're actually engaged, right?
But that's the beauty of a pouch.
You can double up during.
Oh, I like that.
Well, it's definitely like a battery pack.
That's just what doctors recommend.
I'm not, obviously, nothing to do with me.
I'm still like using fire, you know?
It's like if I'm sitting there just huffing on a vape.
So Alp is your brand?
Alp is our brand.
We started it because of your show.
Because the first and only other time I've ever been here, we were in some
other city.
We're in Bellagio.
We were in the Bellagio.
In Vegas, right.
In Vegas, right.
Sorry.
And I had it and you said, what's that?
And I made a joke about how it was a marital aid or something.
Not even a funny joke.
And then about a week later, I got a letter from the general counsel's office
at Philip Morris International, which owns Zinn.
And they said, you know, how dare you make unsubstantiated medical claims about
our product?
And I was like, first of all, I'm shilling your product just to be nice because
I like it.
And now you're scolding me for making a boner joke, which, by the way, was a
compliment.
Yeah.
If somebody's Zinn and then suddenly they got that dong going, who cares?
You know what I'm saying?
I thought it was funny.
I thought it was a compliment.
But they were so corporate and nasty with me that I decided I'm going to make a
competing product.
And we did.
And then around that time, probably about a week or two later, I asked around.
I never really asked anyone about Zinn.
And I found out that almost every other person using Zinn was using it rectally.
I literally had no idea.
They were using it what?
They were rectally.
Yeah, they use it rectally.
Most Zinn users use it rectally.
And I didn't know that.
What?
Yeah.
Where at?
Like five kappas or whatever?
No, no, no, no, no.
Just normal consumers of it.
Like, in fact, in a lot of places when you buy it, you get a little tube of, I
don't know if you ever bought it, but you get like a little tube of Vaseline
and some surgical gloves.
No, I'm serious.
And I had no idea.
And I was like, in a country of 350 million people, like there should be a
pouch for your mouth.
Yeah.
You know, it shouldn't all be rectally used.
And by the way, I'm not in any way judging at all.
I think it's consistent with like other parts of their lives.
But whatever.
I was like, this country needs an oral use only pouch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so we made one.
And so you guys made one.
Yeah.
But I didn't know any of that.
And I'm like, you know, I'm putting it in my mouth.
And occasionally people look at me like on a plane or whatever.
I put it in my mouth and they would give me that look like, that's not what you're
supposed to do with that.
But I didn't even know.
I didn't have any reference points for it.
But, you know, you learn stuff as you age.
Yeah.
If you're using that third jaw, I think, to catch a nicotine hit, that's pretty
wild.
Well, the problem is you can overdo it and you forget.
It's hard to keep track of how many are there.
Oh, yeah.
And you can just – a lot of things can happen.
I've never done it.
But I have talked to people who are into it.
Oh, it'll build up like a beaver dam back there, I feel like.
You know, that's crazy.
I remember I went to y'all's party last year.
And there was a lot of neat people there.
Yeah.
Josh Smith was there, I remember.
Lexi was there.
Mel Gibson was there last year.
Did he come?
Yeah.
That was really nice of him.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
And there are a lot of people.
Yeah.
No, it's actually done –
Jimmy John was there.
Love Jimmy John.
Leah Toe, one of my favorites.
Vince Vaughn.
All, you know, good guys.
People who like nicotine.
Nicotine's super important.
This country's gotten far sadder and less healthy since it was discouraged.
And it's coming back.
And I think it shows.
Like, people are just happier.
But, no, the company's done –
I've never been in business.
I've never sold anything.
I've only talked for a living.
I didn't grow up around business.
I know nothing about it.
I'm terrible at math.
So, yeah, it's done really well.
So well that I feel a little bit embarrassed.
But we have a big factory near here, 14 manufacturing lines.
And it's like, it's cool.
Wow.
I like it.
Yeah?
It's actually been the single most amusing and purely fun thing I've ever done.
Of course, I have no role in, like, the business.
You never allow me near a business, ever.
But I'm super enthusiastic.
I help pick the name and the design and the flavors.
Like, I know a lot about that because I'm a lifelong nicotine user.
Over 40 years, I know a lot about nicotine.
But I know nothing about business.
So I'm not involved in any of that.
My college roommate runs it and is, you know, my best friend.
So I – but I hear about it.
But basically, yeah, it's been wildly successful because I think people want a
pouch that you can put in your mouth.
You don't have to put it in your butt.
And a lot of people felt like they did.
There's just a lot of pressure to do that.
And you feel it all around you.
Like, oh, no, it's totally cool.
All the guys are doing it.
And some people are like, I'm not going to do that.
Yeah.
And I don't want to have to go to, like, a Tiesto or a John Summit or a Levity
concert or have to go to, like, a widespread panic concert to get somebody to
boo fit into my butt.
A hundred percent.
But through a straw or something.
It's like, how do you even get help getting it in if you need help?
Well, I think that's part of it.
I think for a lot of people, Zen is a group activity.
Like, it happens, you know, with, like, friends.
Yeah.
But – and that's fine.
She's in heaven.
Like that type of thing.
Totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.