Name: Paul's Tinder Date Gets Hammered Before Rogan Show
Uploaded: 2018-04-25T15:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paul's Tinder Date Gets Hammered Before Rogan Show' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Paul's Tinder Date Gets Hammered Before Rogan Show' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-04-25. Transcript available.

Hey Theo, this is Paul from Boston. I want to tell you about my past weekend.
So, I had a little...
Okay, this is Paul from Boston.
And this past... Telling us about his past weekend, that's a contest we do
every month.
You can call in, leave a 60 second or less voicemail about your past weekend.
Try to make it 60 seconds. If that shit goes way over, you're out.
And each month we'll pick the best one and we'll give you a...
We'll send you one of these t-shirts and a couple of sweet hitters that we got
over here.
Onward.
Tinder date set up. Going to see the Rogan comedy special down at the Wilbur.
So, we go across the street for some drinks beforehand.
He's saying they had a Tinder date set up and he's going to see the comedy, the
Joe Rogan special over at the Wilbur.
Here we go.
And have a little dinner. Get to know each other a little bit.
And he's going with a Tinder date. So, they went to have dinner and get to know
each other more.
I'm having drinks like a normal person. Have one or two.
This little lady up around with me is down in drinks like they're water.
Oh, yeah, dude. One of them Worcester warlords right there, boy.
They got some real butter monsters out there from North Worcester. Onward.
So, I started noticing she's getting a little drunk. Starting to feel herself a
little bit.
We go to another bar before the show to meet up with some buddies and I realize
she's hammered and this is not looking too hot.
Yeah, I saw a girl like that last week, man. And one of her eyes kind of shuts
down when she drinks.
Like, damn. She just turns into this straight up just vodka Cyclops, you know?
We got to the show and she's never been to a comedy show before.
So, Tony Hinchbus is doing his thing at the open air, telling some jokes.
And she starts yelling out in the crowd, thinking she's a part of it.
And it's like...
Oh.
Dude, there's nothing worse than that.
There's nothing worse.
Damn, when you fly across the country to do your work and some loud asshole
tries to turn your show into an open mic.
Like, come on. More?
Like, can't be doing that.
And during Joe's set, security had to talk to her.
It gets to the point where she's in the bathroom, security's talking to me.
And then the guy looked at me and she's like, hey, she's getting kicked out.
So, I wait downstairs and she disappeared.
And I still don't know where she ended up.
I have her phone case and her wallet and everything.
And still trying to hear her back from her 24 hours later.
Is this dude trying to make an alibi for a murder?
Is this dude trying to make an alibi for a murder?
He just said he took a woman to the Joe Rogan comedy show.
She was loud.
They threw her out.
And he still has her phone case.
And hasn't seen her.
And her shoes or whatever, lipsticks.
Good Christ, brother.
Dude, this ain't that kind of hotline.
You calling in for...
I mean, you might want to call a dang...
I don't know who you call.
An attorney?
Dude, this sounds like the dark arts, man.
I don't even know if we should respond to this.
She's missing?
I mean, is this a missing person, dude?
Because this isn't, you know, 911.
You know, this is 984...
This is 985-664-9503.
That's the hotline.
Dangerous dates.
Dude, I took a girl out one night to the seafood place.
She had a seizure, right?
Because I guess some kind of crab meat makes her fucking shake down.
And so she took a couple of fucking hits of that urchin to the face.
And bam, she was on the concrete.
But she bounced back up, you know.
It was a brief seizure, one of those.
You know, maybe a 3.4 on the human Richter.
And she popped back up, you know, about six seconds later.
And we chilled a little bit.
And then she started drinking vodka Red Bulls.
And we ended up making love.
So you never know kind of...
You never know how ill somebody is.
And you never know where love can strike.