Name: Eddie Bravo | This Past Weekend #94
Uploaded: 2018-05-10T23:30:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Eddie Bravo | This Past Weekend #94' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Eddie Bravo | This Past Weekend #94' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-10. Transcript available.

Eddie Bravo | This Past Weekend #94

What's up guys? I'm excited today. We got a special gentleman in studio and
this gentleman that's going to come in is a man named Eddie Bravo and he's a
Brazilian jiu-jitsu champion. He's a musician. He's a comedy writer. He used to
fuck with a lot of hot chicks over by this strip club.
He's a, he was a DJ. He has like a nice kind of, you know, complexion and
everything. He has like an Ecuadorian type of, you know, kind of like a style
to his skin.
What else? You know, he's, he is a, also people talk about him in the
conspiracy space. You know, people think, oh, do you think, you know, sometimes
you think that, you know, olives are from, you know, another planet or
something like that.
People have crazy ideas about vegetables or Satan or anything. And he has all,
you know, he's all, he's in there. You know, this guy's kind of a liaison to
the dark arts, if you will.
You know, he's definitely out there Voldemorting a little bit or definitely out
there, you know, licking on Voldemort's navel a little bit in that space.
And I want to tell you, uh, the mad master Eddie Bravo, when he's the kind of
guy you start talking to him and he goes, you know, he's kind of like a puppy,
you know, he's like a beautiful conspiracy theorist, Brazilian jujitsu, uh,
master musical, um, you know, uh, beautiful artist type of puppy.
You know, he's keyed up like that young pup. So you, you know, you break him,
you let him out that, you know, you let him out the cage into a, into a, into a,
with a question and he just, you know, it'll take you nine minutes to get him
back in the car.
Uh, and, um, but I'm so excited to have him here today. And, uh, what else? Oh,
this episode is brought to you by RidgeWallet.com.
Now RidgeWallet is a special type of wallet that you, it's, it's in your front
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You know, some, uh, you know, a lot of animals carry their young in their belly.
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You don't see an animal that carries its, uh, that carries its babies in its
butt. That'd be insane.
And that's just like us with our money. A lot of us these days are carrying our
money in our butt.
Um, and that's not like somebody, you know, that's not supposed to be gross or
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And you can go to the Ridge. You can go to RidgeWallet.com slash Theo and you
get 10% off.
And today we're going to give, uh, a nice Ridge backpack and Ridge wallet to
our guests.
And you can get everything you want over there at RidgeWallet.com slash Theo.
The link is below.
I want to thank Fierce Supply Company for this beautiful shirt right here.
And it's a clothing company based out of Canada. And we'll put that link below.
And they've got some beautiful Canadian stuff. So if you're tired of feeling
American in your shirt or feeling Japanese or however you feel, then you can
get this hit.
As well as always, this episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.
Um, the owner of Gray Block, my boy Thomas, has a new podcast out called Mod Rats.
You can check that out if you want to give that a listen.
Um, with all that being said, ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome the one
and only, uh, Mr. Eddie Bravo.
In the radio tower, she gon' be anything, so she gon' be everything, but
nothing at the same time.
The TV tower, that she can be anything, so she gon' be everything, but nothing
at the same time.
At the same time, yeah, with an insane mouth.
No voice of reason or doubt, in the field and the time, like, time.
I like it, man.
Thanks, man.
We stand still, hey, have a drink, chill now, tell me about your life.
When you hear, when you hear your music, do you feel like it's like that, that,
that, that was a different time in your life?
Or do you feel like it's just like one of the cards that kind of just, you know,
comes across the table every now and then?
Or how do you feel about it?
Um, I'm making music more than ever now.
Really?
It's always, I've always made music. I never, I never stopped.
Right.
It's always been about the music.
Really?
It's just, uh, no one wants to hear it.
Yeah.
I came to LA, my whole, my whole life, I was, um, you know, an aspiring rock
star.
My whole life, since the age of 10.
Um, my family, all the friends I grew up with down in Orange County, in Santa
Ana, they all knew me as a guy trying to make it a music.
And when I was, and when I was 21, I finally made the move.
I thought I outgrew the Orange County scene out there.
Cause you were getting big, you were getting kind of.
No, it's just that I was, I felt like I was, if I really wanted to make it, I
had to live right in Hollywood.
Yeah.
And, you know, at 16 and 17, I'd be driving up to Hollywood on the weekends and
partying right on sunset, uh, uh, sunset, uh, during the heyday of, uh, metal,
you know, like in the 80s.
When, when, um, the party was on the streets, you know what I mean?
Everything was overflowing.
The rainbow was overflowing.
The Roxy, Guzzaris, which is now the key club, the whiskey, all those clubs,
like in the front, on, on the sidewalk, it was just packed and mobbed with
people and dudes and, and sky blue spandex with big ass hair, flyering the
streets.
It was, the party was on the streets of me and my buddies would drive up and we
would just walk up and down the street looking for girls.
You know, we're 16, 17, we had long hair, we're fully in, you know, we, we were
into the, the speed metal scene.
We were like into Slayer and Metallica and like the German thrash scene, but
girls didn't know that girls just saw the long hair.
They just thought, Oh, he's guns and roses.
Like, yeah, yeah.
I'm guns and roses, whatever.
I'm poison, whatever you want.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I'm not going to explain to them like the different levels of metal.
Yeah.
So I was just, I was just, I was just on a Jim Jeffries podcast with Carrie the
other day from Slayer.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Were you a Slayer fan?
I wasn't a Slayer fan.
What kind of music did you like?
I grew up listening to like, uh, Rodney James Dio though.
Okay.
Um, so Dio, I grew up listening to like, uh, um, guns and roses, Metallica.
That was an Aerosmith.
All right.
Um, James Addiction.
So you were a metal head?
You were kind of a metal head in the rock?
Oh, that was the first thing.
Yeah.
I mean, my brother and I, my brother and I used to fist fight to, uh, Slayer
songs.
He used to put them on and then we'd, he would beat me up.
Basically.
So seeing Carrie, that was the first thing I told him.
I was like, Hey man, my brother and I used to fist fight to your music.
Yeah, man.
Um, the music industry had me hook, line and sinker, man.
I was chasing the mansions and the hoes.
I was, my whole life was all about getting that mansion, partying like David
Lee Roth,
having 50 chicks around me.
I was chasing that shit.
They got me hook.
MTV got me.
I was watching MTV.
I'm like, I want that shit.
You know?
So I eventually.
Like that pour some sugar on me.
Like that kind of those kind of videos.
My goal, my goal was to move to Hollywood and get some strippers to support me
in my musical
endeavors.
You know what I mean?
Have them buy me groceries.
Cause I heard the stories for like the Motley Crue stories where they were,
they were, uh,
whenever first blowing up in Hollywood, they'd have all these strippers
bringing them groceries.
They didn't work.
All they did was write music all day.
That was the lifestyle that, that I wanted.
Right.
They got me, man.
They brainwashed me.
So that story, you were hooked.
Oh, I was hooked.
And by the time I figured out, you know, I thought it was really easy to make
it in the music
business.
Cause at 13, maybe at 12 or 13, there was a band called Queens, right?
You remember them?
Yeah.
They had a song called Queen of Lucidity.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
That was when they were huge.
Right.
But in the very beginning, they released an EP with the song Queen of the Reich
on it.
And just one song blew them up.
So I thought, oh shit, all you need is one good song and you automatically blow
up.
Right.
That's what I really believe.
I believe that if you have one good song, you will blow up.
You can make it happen.
And so did you, and so that kind of, so you figured that, so as far as you, in
your mind
at that point, you're like, oh, well, yeah, I can make these other things
happen.
Then I just got to make one good song.
Yeah.
One good song.
And by the time I realized that that's not how the music business worked, it
was too late.
I dug myself in way too deep.
What, with the drugs and the party and the fun?
Well, I wasn't really into drugs.
I drink, you know, I was always, I was always drinking.
I'm Mexican and, you know, that's a, it's pretty normal for Mexicans.
But, um, I was never into Coke and I didn't smoke weed at the time.
I was totally against weed.
Didn't do Coke, didn't do, you know, heroin or crack or anything like that.
Um, every now and then, if I was trying to hook up with the girl and she was
like a speed
freak and they're really, really calm.
You have to get a little bit in you.
Yeah.
You know what?
They bust out the little crystal meth line.
I'm like, fuck.
I go, I would do it.
Yeah.
If it meant getting pussy.
Yeah.
Back when I was 16 and 17 and 18, I would do it.
And, you know, I always regretted it.
I, you know, you have the energy of your 20 men.
Yeah.
You know, and, and it only lasts for like a day and then you, you have to pay
for it.
And then you're going to sleep for two days straight.
Yeah.
And it always sucks to come down.
Oh, that come down, man.
I never, never wanted to do it again.
I never, it was never like, damn, I'm, I feel like shit.
Give me some more crystal meth.
It was like, I will never do that shit ever again.
And then like a year later.
Some vagina would come along.
And she, yeah, she's, she's, you know, dude, that's the vagina.
Look, vagina is a gateway drug.
People don't realize that.
You know, just like I say, uh, hanging drywall, carpentry is a gateway drug to
doing drugs.
You don't meet somebody that does drywall that doesn't also do, uh, you know,
uh, speed.
You know what I'm saying?
Like it doesn't make any sense, but it's never put on that scale.
You see like, oh, well, weed is a gateway drug, dude, vagina is a gateway drug.
And also a carpentry and hanging drywall.
Every one of my buddies that gets into drywall, no, but every one of them a
year later is in
AA, man, you know, um, so I moved to Hollywood at 21.
Uh, and so now you say you were hook line into it.
At that point you were hook line into Hollywood.
You wanted that dream.
I had to, I realized that it was more than one song.
I didn't really, I didn't realize exactly how the music business worked.
I thought it was just going to be really easy.
Uh, people would tell me, like my uncle told me, you know, they didn't want me
to move to
Hollywood.
It's only like 45 minutes in traffic.
But they thought I was moving.
Well, Mexican families are close, right?
That's not that far.
So they thought I was moving to fucking England or something.
And my uncle told me, do you know, do you realize that it's, it's a one in a
million
shot that you're going to make in the music business?
And I thought I was that one in a million.
I was a fucking idiot, you know?
Now, okay.
Well, at that moment though, that point you're an idiot or you're like, but you
have to have
some of that, right?
Yeah.
You gotta, you gotta be, uh, um, an idiot, you know, if you think you're just
going to
make it in the music business.
And I really thought, I really thought it was a hundred percent.
I thou