Name: Junctivitis Dalmont | This Past Weekend #95
Uploaded: 2018-05-14T13:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Junctivitis Dalmont | This Past Weekend #95' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Junctivitis Dalmont | This Past Weekend #95' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-14. Transcript available.

Junctivitis Dalmont | This Past Weekend #95

This week's episode brought to you by Gray Block Pizza at 1811 Pico Boulevard
in Los Angeles on the way to the beach.
You headed to the sunshine? You want some sand in your feet? On the way there,
stop in. Get that Italian mouthful. You know, Gray Block. Get that hitter.
This week's episode brought to you by My West Coast Buds.
It is a podcast. It is a show with an inside look at cannabis, comedy, coffee,
and Saudi Arabia.
No, I'm joking. Spirits like alcohol. Cannabis, coffee, comedy, and spirits. It's
all of my favorite vices.
A gentleman named Joe Demio, and that could be, you know, Demio could be
anything. Italian, foreign, basic, local. Sounds like a young everything.
But Joe Demio owns a dispensary in Tigert, Oregon. That's that Upper East Coast
Bud Shop.
And the place is called Cola Cove. And he also acts as a cannabis consultant.
Joe teaches people how to get into the weed game as a way to keep the bills
paid while he works on being a stand-up comic.
So Joe, smoke buds by day, jokes by night. That's what Joe Demio is doing.
His show, My West Coast Buds, is a fun inside baseball look at all of those
industries.
Comedy and weed.
How to make whiskey. How to grow pot. How to craft a proper dick joke.
Stiff like that.
This week's guest comedian is Caitlin Weyerhaeuser.
And they talk about comedy and why she's offended and she's never been haunted
by a ghost.
The link will be below.
All right, now let's get involved in each other's lives.
Zzzzzzzz.
That's it.
Brad Levine right there.
And that's Better Off Barefoot.
And that is sent in by Brad Levine.
And we're thankful for that hitter right there.
It is May 14th.
And it's the year 2018.
And that's what's going on.
We're out here in the millennium.
We're out here in the universe.
You know, we had Eddie Bravo in on as a guest this past week.
And that man, he's keyed up.
He's keyed up on life.
You know, every time you talk to him, it seemed like he's on about an eight
ball of just existence.
You know, you ask him anything and, you know, he just goes off.
He's like a golden retriever with a hearing problem.
You know what I'm saying?
He's off.
He's gone.
You know what I'm saying?
He's out there chasing invisible Frisbees.
You know, he's out there chasing a Frisbee that was, you know, that just topped
out at about 20,000 feet.
And that thing might not land until Idaho.
But that's how Eddie Bravo is.
But that's how Eddie Bravo is.
He's out there.
He's out there.
And it was interesting to hear a man.
I mean, it was interesting just if you didn't get to catch the interview.
And it was just interesting to hear a man who had taken on so many things in
his life, everything he got into, not only was he able to get involved and
really delve into it.
He was able to sustain himself while he was able to sustain himself while he
chased individual dreams.
And that's, I mean, that's, that's amazing.
I mean, that's amazing to think that, oh, I like something.
So I'm going to make it, you know, I'm going to make my dream a financially
sustainable reality while I chase it.
And this dude was a straight up dream hopper.
Eddie Bravo is a dream hopper.
If you see him on one dream tonight, you better, you better circle the clouds
because he going to be on another dream tomorrow.
That man just goes dream to dream.
He's out there just, you know, he's out there just dreaming or, you know, he's
just out there just, just jumping from one dream to the next.
And, you know, he done, he, you know, he tried football, he tried, you know, he
tried music, he got into jujitsu, you know, now he's out there, he's thinking
about outer space, man.
His brain has left earth and he's out there chasing, he's out there chasing
what could be next.
Dude, give that motherfucker a couple months, he'll build a shuttle and Eddie
Bravo will go looking for the truth.
And is he a part-time astronaut?
Not, I don't know, but I bet he's got it in his, in his DNA.
I bet if you look in through his DNA, I bet the A stands for Armstrong and the
N stands for Neil.
I bet he's got that D Neil Armstrong in him because Eddie Bravo, you give him
that chance, boy, he'll be out there looking for the moon.
You give that dude a couple pieces of siding and some bubble gum and an old
washer dryer.
Bro, that dude is a, I mean, he's Latino to the core.
He'll make the most out of everything.
He don't miss a beat.
And he about to turn that washer, you know, he's about to turn that washing
machine and that two pieces of siding, you know, that two piece.
He's about to turn that into a damn shuttle.
You know, Viallo, El Bravo in La Galaxia.
But if you get a chance, check out that Eddie Bravo, man.
It was amazing to have him in studio and just to, it was just inspiring.
It was inspiring to see somebody.
Because what I do is I'll get involved in something and then I'll, you know, I
won't, I won't have the, the tenacity to also make it a business while I am
investigating it.
And he just hopped it throughout his life from one thing to the next and made
small business along the way, made a band, you know, made a Jiu Jitsu.
Dude started learning Jiu Jitsu.
Next thing you know, he's winning champ.
He's beating, he's beating the greatest in other countries, other countries.
Think about how many other countries there are.
Yeah.
So many.
And he, Eddie Bravo was beating people in other countries.
So if you got to listen to that, cool.
If you don't know about Eddie Bravo, that's the thing is he's a, look, he's
like one of them cans of, you ever get one of those cans of snakes in the mail?
Somebody send you a can of snakes, fake snakes.
And you think, oh, it's just a can.
It's just Pringles.
It's just chips.
You know, I'm about to sour cream and onion myself down into a straight up
couch coma.
And then your spouse or your, you know, your, your friend or your loved one is
going to come in, you know, a couple hours later and found you just comatose in
some cushions.
But you open that can.
It's not Pringles.
It's fake snakes.
Somebody sent you fake snakes.
Come on.
And they popping out.
And that's Eddie Bravo, man.
You ask him a question.
You take that top off and you think it's going to be chips.
You're going to have one.
He's going to have one.
It's going to be that convo, but it's just snakes, boy.
Just snakes flying out of that beautiful man.
And look, you know, anybody that can tempt the brain of Joe Rogan for years,
decades even, man, I was honored to have him in studio.
And, uh, and it was fun.
It was fun because, you know, he talks a lot about outer space.
He thinks out, he thinks outer space is fictional.
You know, so when he looks up at the stars, it's like you and me just looking
at a painting.
You know, he thinks somebody did it and it's out there.
You know, it's like something that Microsoft made or something.
And I don't, I don't disrespect it.
You know, my original thought is to think like, uh, you know, maybe that's
crazy, but is it crazy?
Dude, I showed up here on a ball of dirt and water and fell out.
I fell out of a uterus, bro.
A uterus, something that's hard to spell.
I fell out of that into onto a ball of dirt and water floating in the middle of
nowhere.
Could anything be crazier than that?
Doubtsy, doutsy, doutsy.
Come on, man.
Come on.
Thank you guys for joining me here today, man.
I'm happy to be with you guys.
Thank you guys for checking out the Eddie Bravo episode.
You can also, I was on this thing called JK News and you can see it on YouTube.
And look, I'll be straight up with you.
These people in there are Asian and Latino.
And by Latino, I mean pretty much Mexican.
And man, I was nervous when I got in there and I was nervous, I guess, you know,
I was
nervous because, you know, honestly, I thought that, you know, I guess part of
me, you know,
you go into a place and I thought that these people were better than me or that
they were
thinking that they were better than me and, and they weren't, they weren't.
It was just this weird fear in my head, you know?
So I, you know, I got, I got into this weird, it was early, it was kind of
early in the morning
for me.
I had a late night of doing shows and next thing you know, I'm there.
And, and, and, and I'm, you know, I got in there and it's like a half hour till
we start
and they're eating Asian food early in the morning.
And some people could say, oh, you're being racist.
I'm not being racist.
I love Asians, dude.
Give me an Asian right now.
Give me an Asian, dude.
I'll fucking put them in my shirt.
I'll hug them.
I'll hold them.
I'll start a family, bro.
I'll put cinnamon on them and start a family of cinnamon Asians.
Never seen, never seen by anyone.
Rare, very rare.
Them CAs.
And, and, but I'm not, not going to talk about them.
Not going to say the word Asian because I, it's strange.
You don't have to describe somebody to you and be vague.
No.
Elsewhere, please.
If you're thinking like that.
But dude, I was in there and I felt inferior a little bit.
And so I was kind of scared and I was on my phone and like, you know, looking
up like
man shit on my phone, like looking up like sports, even though it was 10 30 AM,
there's
like no sports going on.
So I'm on ESPN app, just like looking up cricket scores and like, uh, you know,
soccer
Liverpool is Liverpool in every soccer game.
Cause every time I look on the, it's just, that's all it is.
Liverpool, Liverpool, Liverpool.
So that's kind of how that broke down.
And I'm sitting there and, uh, and then we got started and it was fun, man.
It was like, you know, I'd never, you know what?
I realized I never hung out with Asian people that much.
And these people were, they had Vietnamese, they had, um, Japanese, you know,
they had
straight up fucking, uh, um, Dragon Ball Z was in that motherfucker.
It got hella Asian.
I didn't know what was going on.
And man, they were more, their show, the, uh, Japanese and Mexican hosts hosts
that were
in there were more real than any of the shows I've been on.
I think a lot of like, and there's this thing in like, um, with some of the
white hosts that
I've been around in the white culture where we are afraid to speak our minds
and those people
are fearless.
And dude, I, I, I didn't, I guess I thought I would go and it would be less,
you know, I
guess I thought that they would be more fearful for some reason, but it was
inspiring.
I got in there and they were fearless.
They shared what they really felt and they, and they weren't, and you could
tell where
they came from.
They weren't from a bad place, but they were just very real and it was
refreshing.
And so I'm thankful to them.
That stuff's called JK news.
And we did about 15 clips and it's all out there on YouTube.
If you want to check it out.
Oh, but thank you for joining me, man.
This past weekend, you know, tonight I'm going to, uh, oh, I got to tell you
this.
Mickey got them hitters, trick lung Mickey got them air sacks.
And if you, you know, follow me on Instagram, you see that we put a picture of
him up and
he got them, man.
And he got them and it just, man, look, I got so many messages and I'm not even
him.
You know, I'm just that liaison.
I'm that third lung baby.
You know, I'm out here pumping from the side, just cheering him on, just come
on, man, come
on.
And, and it was just great, man.
I mean, the dude just warms my heart cause he's going to be alive as far as we
know.
And here's the crazy part though.
I haven't got to talk to him yet because I don't know if he could talk.
I don't know if he's got words in his new lungs yet.
Cause you got to relearn them, uh, hitters, but he's got, he's got them healthy
sacks.
That dude's running on two fricking, who knows how much air he's going to have.
He'll probably be fucking whistling by, you know, by Thursday.
He could be hailing cabs by next week.
That mother, he could be calling a dog from far away.
Anything.
And here's the wildest part.
He, he got them, he got them, um, he got them straight up in her, you know,
them inner
air titties.
He got them from somebody ha