Name: Attraction isn't an Insult | This Past Weekend Highlight
Uploaded: 2018-06-02T21:52:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Attraction isn't an Insult | This Past Weekend Highlight' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Attraction isn't an Insult | This Past Weekend Highlight' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-02. Transcript available.

And I was sitting in this lobby, and this smoking hot woman walks by.
No bra, tits bouncing.
Tits out?
No, well.
Oh, in a shirt or anything?
She was dressed, but they were.
In some sort of holster.
I think they were just swaying.
Man.
Like God intended, you know?
God.
Dude, if a huge tit fucking hit me one time and knocked me and I died, I'd be
cool with that.
You're like, damn, a tit killed that dude.
But how dope is that?
Yeah.
Okay, so the woman's walking across the lobby.
She's walking across the lobby.
Everybody's looking, which is what she wants.
You know, like, come on.
And I sort of see across the lobby, there's this couple.
And the dude is like pretending he's not looking, but he is.
And the woman, the wife, is pretending that she doesn't notice that the dude's
pretending not to notice.
And it's just like this shitstorm of fucking bullshit, you know?
Yeah.
And it's like, what is the problem?
If your husband's alive, of course he's noticing this woman, right?
You're noticing this woman.
We're all noticing her.
Yeah.
Like, are you supposed to, like, not look at sunsets either?
Yeah.
Because, you know, no, you're the only beautiful thing in the world, honey.
Yeah.
Like, come on, people.
Like, even the clock in the lobby stopped ticking for a second.
Exactly.
Like, everything is just held up.
The reception guy's like, can you just wait a minute?
Yeah, I'll get to you in a minute, sir.
The fruit stopped ripening.
The elevator's like, urn.
Oh, I've been in those environments when, like, the hottest woman in the world
walks through the room, and you're just like, my God.
Yeah.
And your tongue falls out of your mouth, and then a tongue falls out of your
dick, and you're like, wow, my dick.
A tongue falls out of your tongue?
Yeah.
Yeah, and it just keeps going all the way right up to her heels.
Monty Python now, yeah.
It's like a red carpet.
It really is.
I wonder if your tongue falls out almost as, like, this proverbial red carpet
of your soul, and you hope that this woman will walk right up into your mouth.
Yeah, you know, with the heels.
Oh, I'd let her.
Yeah.
But, yeah, so we get, we feel, so say in that instance, the man, you know, pretends
he doesn't see, and then the woman pretends that he didn't, she didn't see the
man see the woman.
Right.
And I guess it's this, it's kind of a song and dance that we do, but it's based
in a good, do you think it's based from a good place?
Because I feel like the man's intention was he didn't want his wife to feel bad
or his girlfriend to feel unwanted.
Yeah, but that's treating the symptom.
It's not treating the underlying disease.
Okay.
The underlying disease is feeling that your partner being attracted to other
people is an insult to you.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
And that's a problem.
So I think if we can overcome that, now, of course, I'm not saying, you know,
you're walking down the street, you're like, damn, look at that, the ass on
that chick.
Like, dude, be cool.
You know?
Don't be an asshole.
And same thing with women.
Like, you don't need to, like, be insulting to the person you're with, right?
Right.
But there's no point in not acknowledging that we're living sexual beings and
we feel attractions for other people.
Yeah.
And in fact, in a couple, you know, if I'm with my wife and we're walking down
the street and, you know, we're holding hands and I don't see a hot woman, she'll
squeeze my hand and be like, ooh, 10 o'clock, 10 o'clock.
Don't miss her.
Like, you know, she's looking out for me, you know?
And that makes me feel so close to her because I don't have to pretend like, oh,
yeah, she's hot.
But, you know, I think we develop these pathologies because of the repression,
right?
Whereas if you're not repressing it, you're not pretending, you're not lying to
yourself and to your partner, then it's not a big deal.
Like, yeah, she's hot, whatever, great.
You know?
I see.
I can't enjoy it, but it's not a problem.
Right.
Just like I don't want to buy every beautiful house I see, right?
I don't even want to go into it.
I just drive on by and it's like, wow, that's a nice house, fine.
So, I think there's, our appetites get distorted by repression.
It's like any pressure, you hold it in, it becomes explosive, you know?
And so, those repressions are like things whenever you first start dating
someone, you say like, oh, I'm not interested, you know, I don't think about
other women or I don't, you know, instead of being like,
like, you know, I love you, but if I see a hot woman, I'm going to appreciate
that.
That would be, it would be almost unnatural.
It would be me shutting down a natural desire within my body.
Right.
Well, it's like I said, like sunset, you see a sunset, you see it.
Of course you see it.
You've got an appetite for beauty and a capacity to recognize it.
How is that a problem?