Name: Monogamy and Lying | This Past Weekend Highlight
Uploaded: 2018-06-02T23:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monogamy and Lying | This Past Weekend Highlight' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monogamy and Lying | This Past Weekend Highlight' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-02. Transcript available.

I'm from California. I'm a 27-year-old. I've been struggling with, you know,
the topic of
monogamy, you know, so we're pretty much married. We have a four-year-old
daughter together, but
we don't have sex very much or ever. It's that. And, you know, I've been, you
know,
hitting the gym, you know, I've been, you know, getting really fit. My
confidence is skyrocketing.
There's many women out there that I'm, you know, that I see trying to talk to
me and
stuff, and I don't know what to do if I should just, you know, do my thing,
break
things off. I don't know. The relationship's kind of broken, and I feel like,
you know,
we're not really in this relationship together. We're kind of just there for
the
kid. I even brought up the topic of, you know, open relationship. And part of
me was
joking, part of me wasn't. And she gave me the ultimatum of, okay, well, if you
want
to do that, then does that mean I get to sleep with other dudes?
And?
That's just his conundrum.
Well.
And, yeah, we're not asking anything specifically. We just thought we would
listen to that together.
Yeah, no, I mean, I feel like he got to the moment of truth there, and he
stopped. Like,
does it mean she gets to sleep with other dudes? Because it sounds to me like
she's open to
the idea.
Right.
So, what's the problem?
So, at that point, he needs to be, if he believes that for himself, then he
should be able to
believe that for her as well.
Sure.
Out of respect, even.
Right.
And then be able to voice that.
Right.
And that's probably going to be very scary to do, because you're going to have
to be vulnerable
there.
Right. But, again, look at what, look at the essence of the vulnerability. What
are you afraid
of? You're going to lose the relationship? Sounds to me like you're pretty much
ready to walk
away from it anyway. So, what's he really have to lose? Right?
Right. That's a great point.
You know, it's like, yeah, it might feel better to walk away or to cheat,
because then your
ego is protected.
Yeah, you're in control of it.
Yeah, but you're lying, you know, and you're fucking up your daughter's life,
and you're,
you know, so.
And you're going to be living those lies then.
Then you're going to be carrying around lies, and you're going to feel like a
liar.
Yeah.
And that's not going to make you feel good.
And then you got this little girl growing up with all this anger and distrust,
and,
you know, how's she going to relate to men in the future, you know, listening
to her mom
cry and, you know, calling you a liar. I mean, I think the thing is, we forgive
ourselves
for lying because we think we're avoiding hurting people.
But in the end, we hurt them worse.
And we hurt ourselves, because you know when you're living a lie. You know when
you're not
real. And being real is always better. I mean, unless you're a fucking pedophile
or something.
Yeah.
And even then, being honest with yourself about what it is you want to do will
help you not
do it.
Right.
Wow, man. I don't think that's some of the truest stuff I've ever heard, man,
that we
think when we lie that we're protecting people or that we're actually going to
end up hurting
them more.
Yeah.
Yeah. So in that case, I would say, you know, he got to the moment where he
raised it with
her, and she's like, okay, is this a two-way street? And then he stopped. Like,
if it is a
two-way street, then, hey, you guys could end up having a great time.
That's true, man. It could be a four-way street. Put up a four-way stop sign,
you know?
It could become an intersection.
Yeah.
But yeah, I think just being able to be brave in moments of communication is
just, you know,
it's something that, I mean, I think about all the time that I'm learning about
in my own
life. And it's just so great having you here today to help us think about some
of this stuff,
man, and talk about it.