Name: Stevie Starlight on Life Altering Tripping Out Stories
Uploaded: 2018-06-09T20:00:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stevie Starlight on Life Altering Tripping Out Stories' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stevie Starlight on Life Altering Tripping Out Stories' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-06-09. Transcript available.

Dude, that spawned a whole trip for me one time when I was on acid, my mom
called me up and I ran out, it was a hot, hot day, dude, I started like taking
off my clothes, I was like that guy, dude, I was in a church, I had taken...
Always in a church.
I had taken 700 hits acid I didn't know of Microdot Black Pyramid.
Hold on, and I thought that it was like, I was just taking one, right, but it
was like this little tab like this, like a triangle, and I knew when I bit into
it, and I felt all the shit spew out inside my mouth, I was like, wait, I don't
think it's supposed to be that much, guys.
Within 10 minutes, I started tripping, because you usually got to wait like an
hour.
You took 700 hits of it?
It was equivalent to that, someone told me.
So I tripped for 10 days, dude, but here's how brilliant I was.
I went back to school, I had to go to school.
Dude, that's a vacation, that's not a trip.
It changed my life, dude.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, for the better, I think, because I had such a beatdown from that acid,
and then when I came out of it, I just had such an appreciation for the world
and for living, dude.
Like, what do you mean such a beatdown?
Oh, I saw so much shit, and I was in the woods, dude, just agonizing pain, dude.
I was in horror.
Were you actually in the woods, or were you just at your apartment?
No, no, no, I was gone, dude.
I ran down the street, dude, in the woodlands, Texas, where I'm from.
That's where you're from?
Yeah, dude, from the woodlands, dude.
My buddy Andrew Donilon used to be in a band over there.
Really?
Yeah, a lot of bands come out of there, man, it's crazy.
They were called Peligro.
No, they had a song called Peligro, I think.
Peligro, huh?
Yeah, it's Danger.
I don't remember the name of the band.
Damn, dude, she just ran off into the woods on LSD.
So I went to this chick, Mandy's place, where we'd always go after school,
because nobody,
her parents were never home.
But one day I go, her mom is in there, and there's 40 kids out there, because
she had
broken up a party, obviously, right?
Oh my God, it sounds like something in the Bible.
It's from 30 feet away, 30 yards away by a tree.
And I look back, and I hear them all looking, and they're like, what did I have
to do?
What did you say?
I hear them all.
Of course.
They're all their lips on me.
Because they're all talking about you.
I go, oh, fuck this.
I just started running.
I just started running.
I'm like Forrest Gump running all around the town.
So then I ran to Nick Stanley's house, right?
And his brother's psychotic, right?
So that must have been a perfect match.
So I go, she goes, just stay in here.
I'm going to be right back.
And her mom has all these heads of goats and horses and moose coming out of the
wall.
Taxidermy shit, right?
Oh, taxidermy, dude.
I'm all looking at this.
They're all coming in on me.
It's the craziest shit ever.
And I had to drink like 15 of these high C fruit punch because I just need
water.
But I didn't know.
Those are good.
But it made me trip harder, but I didn't know that.
High C fruit punch.
And vitamin C.
Fruit punch, yeah.
And my tongue was all red, right?
But I didn't know that.
I just drank them and ran to Nick Stanley's house.
All I hear is, Nick, where the fuck are you?
Roar!
And I'm hiding in the bathroom, but I'm throwing up because I'm so sick, right?
And then I can't find the light for an hour.
I'm looking for the light switch.
I couldn't find the light.
And were the lights on or off?
Off.
And I'm in the dark, and I'm just trying to throw up.
I hear Nicky, brother, kicks in the door.
Boom!
Flips the light on like it's nothing.
Lights are on.
I see all this red shit all over the walls.
What was it?
Blood?
It was high C, but I thought it was blood.
So he goes like this.
He goes, what the fuck?
And I think something's wrong with me now.
So I'm just crying and running from house to house.
It was the worst experience of my life, dude.
I don't even know how we got into that right now.
Oh, that band.
But dude, I'm glad that I actually experienced that, man.
Because if I can experience that, I can experience anything, dude.
So at the end of that, and I want to, man, A, yeah, you seem like definitely
kind of a
rowdy house guest to have around that time of your life.
Big time.
But B, that's interesting.
It reminds me whenever I would do LSD, yeah, you get the end of the trip, you're
kind of
glad that it's over because you've been through a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah, this would never end, though.
It was 10 days of just torture.
And I went back to my house.
I was sneaking in my own house, man.
And then this pink Floyd poster would be pulsating.
And I remember every day, it would be pulsating a little less, a little less, a
little less.
It wasn't 10 days.
It was probably like five days.
But it seemed like an eternity, man.
That's so long.
Yeah.
And you'd go to sleep and then just wake back up on LSD, yeah.
Yeah, I wouldn't sleep, actually.
I didn't sleep for like four days because I was so tripping.
Yeah, it was very crazy, man.
It was tragic at the time.
But looking back, it was kind of interesting.
So then the first night I come back in, it's like 9 o'clock, and I'm tripping
hard.
And then my mom's like, because she set me off.
Because I'm looking at this checkered board on the floor, and it's like
checking all the
checkered speech from black and white.
They all became one thing.
I go, oh, this is fucked up.
My phone rang.
It's like Obama.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Totally.
And the phone's ringing, but it's moving.
Like every time it rang, it would go, the whole phone's moving.
Of course, like it's a cartoon.
It doesn't really do that.
Yeah.
So I went and picked up the phone.
I go, hello?
She goes, Steve, you sound weird.
I go, what?
I hung up.
I didn't even see it.
And then I just went on.
I just jumped through the window.
It was crazy.
Like ran down the street, taking off my clothes.
It was that guy.
Yeah.
And my friends are all running after me.
Stop, stop.
And they're like, you got to take this.
You got to take this.
You got to take this.
She's like, you're paranoid.
I go, I'm paranoid.
Later, I'm just going to be running through the, everything someone said to me
would fire
me off.
Dang.
It would never end.
Stevie Starlight.
I came back home and my stepdad, Edwin, is on the couch watching this thing
about the
guy who threw something on acid to him.
And I thought they had set this whole thing up for me.
And the guy was sitting there and he's like, yeah, he's doing acid.
You don't ever want to do acid.
Acid is a bad drug, Steve.
Acid, don't do acid.
And he happened to be telling you that while you're on acid.
Yeah.
I thought it was all set up.
Yeah, of course.
By the acid government.
Yeah.
They're like, oh, we're going to get Steve.
No, I can sense that 100%.
For some reason, when you're on acid, you're able to link everything.
Everything, yeah.
Everything.
Analyze, yeah.
It's all stitched together.
Totally.
And it all makes perfect sense.
Big time.
Oh, man.
Dude, yeah.
That's why they call it a trip because it is, when you get through the other
side, man,
you're just like, oh.
God.
So glad that's over.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
I can still this day just taste it and just be thankful that that's over with,
man.
Could you ever do acid after that or no?
I waited 10 years to do it and I came out here and I did it, tried it and it
was great.
Yeah.
How old were you?
15 when that happened.
Wow.
Yeah.
I was maybe 16.
Do you honestly, and you have to be honest with me here.
Do you honestly think that if you, you're the same person, if you wouldn't have
done that
or did do that?
Oh, no way.
I would have lived a life of terror and agonizing pain and not be in touch with
myself because
I'm a complicated individual.
Yeah.
But I took that and it was a way that I had to do it because I wouldn't have, I
wouldn't
have found myself, dude.
I would have been a very awkward, I'm still very awkward, but I would have been
way out
the gate, dude.
I would have been living in an apartment in Texas with a chick who's like,
hates me
and cheats on me.
Name what?
Do a joke, name Kristen or something like that.
Yeah.
And she would have been a whore.
Yeah.
And like, I would have had to like go to work all day, you know what I mean?
And it would have sucked and I would have had short hair and it would have just
been,
it would have not been the life I wanted, dude.
I'm so thankful for all that, dude.
Yeah.
That's amazing because, well, here's the interesting thing is, if that had been
something where
you, that didn't, it must have been the right thing because you're thankful for
it.
Yeah.
Big time.
Yeah.
I went through that.
I'm happy.
Changed my molecular structure, dude, from the core.
Well, yeah.
And you wouldn't look back on something if, yeah, if you weren't thankful for
it, you'd
be like, oh, well, no, it wasn't good for me, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Or if it wasn't good for you, then you wouldn't be thankful for it.
Yeah.
So obviously the fact you're thankful for it shows that as bizarre as it sounds,
that, you
know, ending up on the equivalent of 700 hits of acid.
It was good for you.
Yeah.
Big time.
It was what you needed.
You never would have thought at the time.
Fuck no.
No, right?
Dude, I remember one time taking some and our thing was, we were like in
student council,
right?
So like, you know, and it's kind of nerd alert central, you know?
But me and this other dude named Pat were in there and we took some mushrooms
before the
student council meeting one day.
So we went into like this meeting before school and all, you know, these like
kids are in
there and stuff.
And Pat just had, he was the president, right?
And he took a marker and got up on the, on the board and he thought it was a
dry erase
board.
It wasn't.
So he just takes a marker on a regular chalkboard and he was a president.
So everybody's just waiting to hear what he says.
Yeah.
And he draws a line across the chalkboard and he goes, this is us right now.
And then he draws a line, like going straight kind of down and a little bit of
a diagonal
to the bottom of the board.
And he's like, and this is where we're headed if we don't get our shit together.
Oh my God.
And you fucking saw it too, right?
Dude.
Yeah.
Meeting adjourned.
He said, and then he fucking walked out, dude.
Genius.
And I said, I've been fucking clapped.
I thought it was like a real important thing, you know?
And nobody else clapped.
Like it was not.
Didn't get it, huh?
Well, no, he drawn a marker on a real chalkboard that's defacing student
property.
Like that's all they saw was like, this doesn't make any sense.
I get it though.
You're explaining it to me.
Oh, I get it.
I get it, you know?
And so I stood up and clapped and then for the rest of the day I was on
mushrooms and
I had on this green like felt shirt.
Yeah.
And I remember in science class, I started just thinking that my arms were
snakes, right?
And I got so, like literally for like nine minutes, I was just looking at my
fucking
snake hands like coming to get me.
To the point where finally the teacher's like, hello.
Right.
And she's right here by the side of my head.
And like, everybody's looking at me.
And she's like, what are you doing?
What did you say?
I said, I'm just babysitting these snakes.
What are you doing?
Right.
It's her problem.
Yeah.
And then she's like, yeah, I think you need to go to the restroom.
That's what she said.
So she might've been used to use acid and was giving me a break.
Right, right.
Then another time we ate something at Waffle House and they had a urban
gentleman that
was our waiter named Big Daniel.
And that's even what his tag said on this thing, Big Daniel, which I didn't
know you could
put big in front of him on a name tag, just Daniel.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, let people decide.
So extra, you know.
Yeah.
And he tried to fuck my buddy one time.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And we were on acid.
Oh, wow.
And I think he, I don't know if he knew we were on acid and if he was like a
pedophile
or maybe he was just, I don't know, maybe he just wanted to fuck somebody and
we
happened to be there.

Stevie Starlight on Life Altering Tripping Out Stories

Dude, that spawned a whole trip for me one time when I was on acid, my mom
called me up and I ran out, it was a hot, hot day, dude, I started like taking
off my clothes, I was like that guy, dude, I was in a church, I had taken...
Always in a church.
I had taken 700 hits acid I didn't know of Microdot Black Pyramid.
Hold on, and I thought that it was like, I was just taking one, right, but it
was like this little tab like this, like a triangle, and I knew when I bit into
it, and I felt all the shit spew out inside my mouth, I was like, wait, I don't
think it's supposed to be that much, guys.
Within 10 minutes, I started tripping, because you usually got to wait like an
hour.
You took 700 hits of it?
It was equivalent to that, someone told me.
So I tripped for 10 days, dude, but here's how brilliant I was.
I went back to school, I had to go to school.
Dude, that's a vacation, that's not a trip.
It changed my life, dude.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, for the better, I think, because I had such a beatdown from that acid,
and then when I came out of it, I just had such an appreciation for the world
and for living, dude.
Like, what do you mean such a beatdown?
Oh, I saw so much shit, and I was in the woods, dude, just agonizing pain, dude.
I was in horror.
Were you actually in the woods, or were you just at your apartment?
No, no, no, I was gone, dude.
I ran down the street, dude, in the woodlands, Texas, where I'm from.
That's where you're from?
Yeah, dude, from the woodlands, dude.
My buddy Andrew Donilon used to be in a band over there.
Really?
Yeah, a lot of bands come out of there, man, it's crazy.
They were called Peligro.
No, they had a song called Peligro, I think.
Peligro, huh?
Yeah, it's Danger.
I don't remember the name of the band.
Damn, dude, she just ran off into the woods on LSD.
So I went to this chick, Mandy's place, where we'd always go after school,
because nobody,
her parents were never home.
But one day I go, her mom is in there, and there's 40 kids out there, because
she had
broken up a party, obviously, right?
Oh my God, it sounds like something in the Bible.
It's from 30 feet away, 30 yards away by a tree.
And I look back, and I hear them all looking, and they're like, what did I have
to do?
What did you say?
I hear them all.
Of course.
They're all their lips on me.
Because they're all talking about you.
I go, oh, fuck this.
I just started running.
I just started running.
I'm like Forrest Gump running all around the town.
So then I ran to Nick Stanley's house, right?
And his brother's psychotic, right?
So that must have been a perfect match.
So I go, she goes, just stay in here.
I'm going to be right back.
And her mom has all these heads of goats and horses and moose coming out of the
wall.
Taxidermy shit, right?
Oh, taxidermy, dude.
I'm all looking at this.
They're all coming in on me.
It's the craziest shit ever.
And I had to drink like 15 of these high C fruit punch because I just need
water.
But I didn't know.
Those are good.
But it made me trip harder, but I didn't know that.
High C fruit punch.
And vitamin C.
Fruit punch, yeah.
And my tongue was all red, right?
But I didn't know that.
I just drank them and ran to Nick Stanley's house.
All I hear is, Nick, where the fuck are you?
Roar!
And I'm hiding in the bathroom, but I'm throwing up because I'm so sick, right?
And then I can't find the light for an hour.
I'm looking for the light switch.
I couldn't find the light.
And were the lights on or off?
Off.
And I'm in the dark, and I'm just trying to throw up.
I hear Nicky, brother, kicks in the door.
Boom!
Flips the light on like it's nothing.
Lights are on.
I see all this red shit all over the walls.
What was it?
Blood?
It was high C, but I thought it was blood.
So he goes like this.
He goes, what the fuck?
And I think something's wrong with me now.
So I'm just crying and running from house to house.
It was the worst experience of my life, dude.
I don't even know how we got into that right now.
Oh, that band.
But dude, I'm glad that I actually experienced that, man.
Because if I can experience that, I can experience anything, dude.
So at the end of that, and I want to, man, A, yeah, you seem like definitely
kind of a
rowdy house guest to have around that time of your life.
Big time.
But B, that's interesting.
It reminds me whenever I would do LSD, yeah, you get the end of the trip, you're
kind of
glad that it's over because you've been through a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah, this would never end, though.
It was 10 days of just torture.
And I went back to my house.
I was sneaking in my own house, man.
And then this pink Floyd poster would be pulsating.
And I remember every day, it would be pulsating a little less, a little less, a
little less.
It wasn't 10 days.
It was probably like five days.
But it seemed like an eternity, man.
That's so long.
Yeah.
And you'd go to sleep and then just wake back up on LSD, yeah.
Yeah, I wouldn't sleep, actually.
I didn't sleep for like four days because I was so tripping.
Yeah, it was very crazy, man.
It was tragic at the time.
But looking back, it was kind of interesting.
So then the first night I come back in, it's like 9 o'clock, and I'm tripping
hard.
And then my mom's like, because she set me off.
Because I'm looking at this checkered board on the floor, and it's like
checking all the
checkered speech from black and white.
They all became one thing.
I go, oh, this is fucked up.
My phone rang.
It's like Obama.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Totally.
And the phone's ringing, but it's moving.
Like every time it rang, it would go, the whole phone's moving.
Of course, like it's a cartoon.
It doesn't really do that.
Yeah.
So I went and picked up the phone.
I go, hello?
She goes, Steve, you sound weird.
I go, what?
I hung up.
I didn't even see it.
And then I just went on.
I just jumped through the window.
It was crazy.
Like ran down the street, taking off my clothes.
It was that guy.
Yeah.
And my friends are all running after me.
Stop, stop.
And they're like, you got to take this.
You got to take this.
You got to take this.
She's like, you're paranoid.
I go, I'm paranoid.
Later, I'm just going to be running through the, everything someone said to me
would fire
me off.
Dang.
It would never end.
Stevie Starlight.
I came back home and my stepdad, Edwin, is on the couch watching this thing
about the
guy who threw something on acid to him.
And I thought they had set this whole thing up for me.
And the guy was sitting there and he's like, yeah, he's doing acid.
You don't ever want to do acid.
Acid is a bad drug, Steve.
Acid, don't do acid.
And he happened to be telling you that while you're on acid.
Yeah.
I thought it was all set up.
Yeah, of course.
By the acid government.
Yeah.
They're like, oh, we're going to get Steve.
No, I can sense that 100%.
For some reason, when you're on acid, you're able to link everything.
Everything, yeah.
Everything.
Analyze, yeah.
It's all stitched together.
Totally.
And it all makes perfect sense.
Big time.
Oh, man.
Dude, yeah.
That's why they call it a trip because it is, when you get through the other
side, man,
you're just like, oh.
God.
So glad that's over.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
I can still this day just taste it and just be thankful that that's over with,
man.
Could you ever do acid after that or no?
I waited 10 years to do it and I came out here and I did it, tried it and it
was great.
Yeah.
How old were you?
15 when that happened.
Wow.
Yeah.
I was maybe 16.
Do you honestly, and you have to be honest with me here.
Do you honestly think that if you, you're the same person, if you wouldn't have
done that
or did do that?
Oh, no way.
I would have lived a life of terror and agonizing pain and not be in touch with
myself because
I'm a complicated individual.
Yeah.
But I took that and it was a way that I had to do it because I wouldn't have, I
wouldn't
have found myself, dude.
I would have been a very awkward, I'm still very awkward, but I would have been
way out
the gate, dude.
I would have been living in an apartment in Texas with a chick who's like,
hates me
and cheats on me.
Name what?
Do a joke, name Kristen or something like that.
Yeah.
And she would have been a whore.
Yeah.
And like, I would have had to like go to work all day, you know what I mean?
And it would have sucked and I would have had short hair and it would have just
been,
it would have not been the life I wanted, dude.
I'm so thankful for all that, dude.
Yeah.
That's amazing because, well, here's the interesting thing is, if that had been
something where
you, that didn't, it must have been the right thing because you're thankful for
it.
Yeah.
Big time.
Yeah.
I went through that.
I'm happy.
Changed my molecular structure, dude, from the core.
Well, yeah.
And you wouldn't look back on something if, yeah, if you weren't thankful for
it, you'd
be like, oh, well, no, it wasn't good for me, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Or if it wasn't good for you, then you wouldn't be thankful for it.
Yeah.
So obviously the fact you're thankful for it shows that as bizarre as it sounds,
that, you
know, ending up on the equivalent of 700 hits of acid.
It was good for you.
Yeah.
Big time.
It was what you needed.
You never would have thought at the time.
Fuck no.
No, right?
Dude, I remember one time taking some and our thing was, we were like in
student council,
right?
So like, you know, and it's kind of nerd alert central, you know?
But me and this other dude named Pat were in there and we took some mushrooms
before the
student council meeting one day.
So we went into like this meeting before school and all, you know, these like
kids are in
there and stuff.
And Pat just had, he was the president, right?
And he took a marker and got up on the, on the board and he thought it was a
dry erase
board.
It wasn't.
So he just takes a marker on a regular chalkboard and he was a president.
So everybody's just waiting to hear what he says.
Yeah.
And he draws a line across the chalkboard and he goes, this is us right now.
And then he draws a line, like going straight kind of down and a little bit of
a diagonal
to the bottom of the board.
And he's like, and this is where we're headed if we don't get our shit together.
Oh my God.
And you fucking saw it too, right?
Dude.
Yeah.
Meeting adjourned.
He said, and then he fucking walked out, dude.
Genius.
And I said, I've been fucking clapped.
I thought it was like a real important thing, you know?
And nobody else clapped.
Like it was not.
Didn't get it, huh?
Well, no, he drawn a marker on a real chalkboard that's defacing student
property.
Like that's all they saw was like, this doesn't make any sense.
I get it though.
You're explaining it to me.
Oh, I get it.
I get it, you know?
And so I stood up and clapped and then for the rest of the day I was on
mushrooms and
I had on this green like felt shirt.
Yeah.
And I remember in science class, I started just thinking that my arms were
snakes, right?
And I got so, like literally for like nine minutes, I was just looking at my
fucking
snake hands like coming to get me.
To the point where finally the teacher's like, hello.
Right.
And she's right here by the side of my head.
And like, everybody's looking at me.
And she's like, what are you doing?
What did you say?
I said, I'm just babysitting these snakes.
What are you doing?
Right.
It's her problem.
Yeah.
And then she's like, yeah, I think you need to go to the restroom.
That's what she said.
So she might've been used to use acid and was giving me a break.
Right, right.
Then another time we ate something at Waffle House and they had a urban
gentleman that
was our waiter named Big Daniel.
And that's even what his tag said on this thing, Big Daniel, which I didn't
know you could
put big in front of him on a name tag, just Daniel.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, let people decide.
So extra, you know.
Yeah.
And he tried to fuck my buddy one time.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And we were on acid.
Oh, wow.
And I think he, I don't know if he knew we were on acid and if he was like a
pedophile
