Name: Stephen Wilson Jr. Performs "Gary"
Uploaded: 2025-12-23T16:53:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stephen Wilson Jr. Performs "Gary"' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stephen Wilson Jr. Performs "Gary"' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-23. Transcript available.

Ladies and gentlemen, Stephen Wilson, Jr.
Thank you, sir.
One, two, three, four.
Gary these days been lying in his bed, man.
Working on the same car, going on a decade.
Scribbles on drum mount, don't draw attention.
I never really noticed, but now that I mention it.
Ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days.
Born with a cigarette glued to their face.
Fixing about anything a hammer can't handle.
Saving all the money, cause a Gary don't gamble.
Ain't a lot of girls gone by Debbie anymore.
And they got the same nicotine pouring out their toys.
Time leaves town, but the minute hand stays.
There ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days.
Now, Gary these days been worried about the bad news.
There ain't a lot of teenagers filling up the church pews.
No.
Burn them bush lights, don't talk to his brother.
The people even still say grace before supper.
There ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days.
Born with a cigarette glued to their face.
Fixing about anything a hammer can't handle.
Saving all the money, cause a Gary don't gamble.
Ain't a lot of girls gone by Debbie anymore.
But they got the same nicotine pouring out their toys.
Time leaves town, but the minute hand stays.
There ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days.
Hey, every now and then gets a damn thing running.
Takes it out for a spin for a sneak in there.
He believes in God who believes in a little black hat piece.
On the stove on these days.
I had a weird suspicion with the light out on the front porch.
Hard medication poured down where the drain pours.
He holds his left arm while his parakeet prays.
Has anybody seen much of Gary these days?
Has anybody seen much of Gary these days?
No, there ain't a lot of boys, ain't a lot of boys, ain't a lot of boys.
Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary.
Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary.
Why are you doing like that?
It's just fun, huh?
This is fun.
It's almost like the door closes on it or something.
It's like the, you know, Gary dies.
And it's almost like the door closes on Gary.
That's Gary said.