Name: Chris Distefano on What Love Means to Him
Uploaded: 2025-12-30T17:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Distefano on What Love Means to Him' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Distefano on What Love Means to Him' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-30. Transcript available.

Because last time you were on, we had an extensive conversation. I think it was
Valentine's Day or Valentine's Day was coming up and we talked about love.
And we literally talked about it for about two hours. You got engaged finally
for the second time. Is that right?
The second time. First time we did it, it was like, you know, because we had a
baby so quick and I wanted to do it.
But it was really just Catholic guilt wanting to do it. And then and then we
split up for a while.
And that's what happens sometimes. You split up with someone and then, you know,
you kind of realize what you got.
You know that saying, you don't really know what you got until it's gone.
And then so that's what her, Jazz and I have been together now for Jesus, 11,
12 years.
And, you know, we're getting engaged because we got engaged because, you know,
we got kids, you know, we got three kids.
Yeah, and you're a family now.
We're a family now. And I said, what?
Like my three kids or two kids?
Well, two biological and one extra kid.
One extra kid, right.
Do you believe? How does love change over time for you guys? How has it changed?
Well, I realize that it's not a feeling. It's an action. That's how it's
evolved to me.
Tell me about that a little bit.
You've heard that before that love is an action.
But wait, like tell me a little more.
Meaning like, to me, the first sense that I felt anytime I ever saw, what I
felt when I first saw Jasmine.
I remember you told me at a bar, you guys were at a place.
It was, yeah.
It was a volleyball bar.
Yeah, called Place to Beach in Brooklyn.
Yeah, it was a pun.
And I, yeah. And then I felt, and they got shut down because they were selling
the fake vaccine card.
Yeah, first of all, dude.
Yeah.
There's nothing like meeting an illegal alien at a fake vaccine card shop.
Yeah, it was amazing.
If your marriage doesn't start out like that in America, then fuck you.
Fuck you.
So, so she, so I felt this feeling like when I saw her, like she like stopped
me in my tracks.
Like this like feeling I can't, I still.
Like indigestion or something, but in your legs.
Yeah, I thought I was having a heart attack.
I thought maybe because me and my boy, Pat, we were in like so much pepperoni.
And so I was like, oh, maybe it's that.
Maybe it's finally catching up to me.
A Pepto-Bismol, nothing worked.
And then so, and so I realized like that was like, I thought that was love, but
that was
more of like an infatuation.
That was more of like a lust.
That was more like me just taken in by her beauty, like the, you know, that.
Oh yeah.
And so that's powerful.
That's necessary.
And then I went through with that feeling for years thinking like that was love.
And then we would have all these problems.
And I was always looking for something else.
I was always pushing her away.
Then I'd get closer.
She'd push me away and all these things.
And I realized like, oh, these are just that, that was, that wasn't love.
Love to me was in action.
What I realized was all these years later that the real love was her and I
coming back together
after, you know, a big fight.
Her showing me so much loyalty, me showing her loyalty, her being there for me
when the
things were not going well for me.
All those things were, that's the love.
The action, love is an action.
And I, and I see her do that for me because I used to think, I used to think
that she,
you know, I, I would always be searching in my, my brain being a bit of a
perfectionist
as, as, you know, we all are, I think in comedy, like we always want everything
to go right.
I would always saying, oh, you know, she's not, she's not perfect.
So I got to, you're looking for something else.
Your brain is always like, what's the next best thing?
What's the next best thing?
And then, you know, at some point to you, you say, okay, I can go get this or
get that.
And then looking for what's perfect, what's perfect.
And then I realized at some point it hit me.
I was like, oh, she actually is perfect because she's, she's taking me in from
all, all my imperfections.
She's understanding how imperfect I am and still accepting me anyway.
So that's, that is like someone who's perfect because a lot of people wouldn't
do that.
A lot of people would have just thrown me to the side by now and been like, hey,
figure it out.
Cause she knows I love my kids.
She knows I'm always going to take care of her.
Right.
You know, so it wasn't about the money.
It wasn't about, oh, I need a man in my life.
It's about specifically me.
She's taking me in from my imperfections.
So for me, that, that makes her perfect to me.
And after all these years, I've realized that all that and the action of love
and, and, you know,
what we have with our children and building a family, like there's
nothing that your life is happening right now.
And I have like a perfect life right now.
And I don't live in the zero sum game anymore.
It used to be, if my career was down, I'd be unhappy.
If, if, if I wasn't feeling in, if I was feeling out of shape, I'd be unhappy.
One thing could make it all unhappy because I was playing zero sum.
It's either all or nothing.
I don't do that anymore.
I'll say some things in my life are up and downs.
Everybody's life.
It's all, it's all in flux.
How were you able to adjust that?
Like, was there something that happened that made you sort of see that?
Cause that's pretty powerful to hear about, man.
Cause yeah, I think I, I've, I've certainly had that.
Like one thing will affect kind of how I operate for the rest of the day and
then, or affects
how I think about myself.
Well, I think children, that's why it's important, you know, in my life,
personally, people do
what they want.
But for me, uh, abort or your kids, whatever you want to do in New York, so you
could kill
them all up.
I think until they're 18, I think you can have legal abortions.
That's what AOC said.
Oh, you can send a kid to Gaza and Israel will kill them.
Mom Donnie's going to make it 21, he said.
Is he?
That's what he said.
That's what the platform, some people are voting for that.
You can abortions up to their kids are 21.
So, um, but what I felt like, you know, how I learned all that is literally
just by like
listening to my kids and, and watching what my kids kind of want for me and
expect for me.
And I, and I realized that, you know, you, you could spend your whole life
thinking about,
oh, what's going to happen tomorrow?
Always being, you know, always being, um, you know, there's something's better,
something's
better on the horizon.
You can spend your whole life like, and then your whole life goes by.
So I realized to like, be in the, like, nothing's better to me.
Like what's better than, you know, you know, a Lamborghini or selling out a
world tour or
having sex with the hottest girls.
Like, you know, just sitting in the grass with your kids like that.
And it's not for everybody.
And I, and also at times it's not even for me.
At times I'm sitting in the grass with my kids.
I'm like, this sucks.
I want to go drive in a Lamborghini, but, uh, but it's not a zero sum game.
Exactly.
But those moments that I do have when I am fully locked in, I'm always chasing
that.
If I'm chasing one thing, I'm always chasing that with these.
I've had feeling throughout my life of being locked in with my family.
I've never had a euphoria is like that.
I've never been happier than that.
And it doesn't happen all the time.
At times I'm home, my family trying to say, find that feeling.
And I just can't, you know, find it, but I don't beat myself up about it
anymore.
I'm like, yo, just keep coming.
Giannis and I, Giannis talks to me a lot about going back.
Life is coming back to the present.
Always come back to the present.
Always come back to the moment.
That's all.
That's, that's, that's your job.
Come back to the moment as, as much as you can throughout the day, come back to
the moment
because it's all happening now.
I try to be where my feet are.
Like there, there was a time when I was talking to you the last time we spoke
about love and
on Valentine's day, half of my brain was with you.
And then half of my brain was probably back home at my kids or, you know, what
I was doing
after that or my show.
But now I'm fully locked in just with you.
I, I, I've, that's one thing I have definitely can feel I've gotten better.
I just, I'm where my feet are.
I'm fully with you right now.
And then when I leave, I'll, I'll fully be with, you know, the driver.
And then I'll, and then, you know, when I speak to my family, I'll fully be
with them.
You know what I mean?
And then I'll fully be with an Asian dude in the bathroom at BNA airport, baby.
Right?
He's got Viet Cong.
The Viet Cong's getting, yeah, I got those camera shoes.
So that, so that's how I feel.
I don't know if I've explained it correctly.
A round trip to Saigon.
Yeah, Guantanamo Bay.
So I don't know if I explained it right.
No, I think you did.
That's what it is.
Well, I think it's funny you said, when you say something that it's like, yeah,
I let my
mind, like, uh, I'll have a thought and then my mind will multiply it.
Right.
Kind of.
I'll have a feeling or one bad thing will happen.
Something that's not my favorite.
Well, because the brain is going to go towards connections.
Right.
That's the connective tissue.
That's why they say those mushrooms, uh, or acid, one of them is good because
they say it
wipes away your.
Opioids.
I can't, which one is it?
That's what they say.
One of them, something on Joe Rogan said that.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But, but, but that, but that feeling, it's like this thing where I thought, I
was thinking
about this the other day, like the, you know, like to be happy, me and Janice
were having
a conversation about this and he had different feelings, but I was kind of
saying like, you
know, faith, you got to have faith.
Like, you know, people talk about hope and all that, but I feel like faith is,
is to me
is better.
Like it's faith is on a creator.
And like hope is just, hope is just gay faith.
It's just, exactly.
Hope is gay faith.
That's the merch.
So faith.
So I, you got to have faith that like tomorrow will be better.
So it kind of goes against what I just said.
But on the same hand, it's like simultaneously, I think this balance of life is
have, have
faith.
You know, we had to get out of the caves basically as, you know, Neanderthals,
we were getting
at, you had to get out of the cave, like to go survive and advance and all that.
So it's like, you got to have this faith that there's a better life outside the
cave by also
acknowledging simultaneously that what you have in the cave is enough.
It's a, it's a delicate life.
It's just balance.
You know what I mean?
Well, I think the one thing you, that we can count on, man, is just love.
It's like, that's what you, I think like, that's one of the messages I feel
like from
our conversation today.
It's like, you know, there's a lot going on in the world.
You focus on the things that are in front of you and the things you can handle.
And that is really what's important.
Make your life a little smaller.
That's what I try to tell my kids, man.
There's so many things going on in the world.
Yeah.
Take little breaks.
It's like, there's travesty happening all over the world.
You can't fix everything, but you know what I mean?
You could sweep up in front of your crib.
You could sweep up in front of the house, take the garbage out, you know, tell
your neighbors
try not to be Nazis if they can.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Do the right thing even when nobody's watching, all that.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Hope is my hedge.
Faith are my facts.
I am okay.
Hope is gay faith.
Hope is gay faith.
Faith is also a big time name for gay women.
Ooh.
Gay ass faith.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.

Chris Distefano on What Love Means to Him

Because last time you were on, we had an extensive conversation. I think it was
Valentine's Day or Valentine's Day was coming up and we talked about love.
And we literally talked about it for about two hours. You got engaged finally
for the second time. Is that right?
The second time. First time we did it, it was like, you know, because we had a
baby so quick and I wanted to do it.
But it was really just Catholic guilt wanting to do it. And then and then we
split up for a while.
And that's what happens sometimes. You split up with someone and then, you know,
you kind of realize what you got.
You know that saying, you don't really know what you got until it's gone.
And then so that's what her, Jazz and I have been together now for Jesus, 11,
12 years.
And, you know, we're getting engaged because we got engaged because, you know,
we got kids, you know, we got three kids.
Yeah, and you're a family now.
We're a family now. And I said, what?
Like my three kids or two kids?
Well, two biological and one extra kid.
One extra kid, right.
Do you believe? How does love change over time for you guys? How has it changed?
Well, I realize that it's not a feeling. It's an action. That's how it's
evolved to me.
Tell me about that a little bit.
You've heard that before that love is an action.
But wait, like tell me a little more.
Meaning like, to me, the first sense that I felt anytime I ever saw, what I
felt when I first saw Jasmine.
I remember you told me at a bar, you guys were at a place.
It was, yeah.
It was a volleyball bar.
Yeah, called Place to Beach in Brooklyn.
Yeah, it was a pun.
And I, yeah. And then I felt, and they got shut down because they were selling
the fake vaccine card.
Yeah, first of all, dude.
Yeah.
There's nothing like meeting an illegal alien at a fake vaccine card shop.
Yeah, it was amazing.
If your marriage doesn't start out like that in America, then fuck you.
Fuck you.
So, so she, so I felt this feeling like when I saw her, like she like stopped
me in my tracks.
Like this like feeling I can't, I still.
Like indigestion or something, but in your legs.
Yeah, I thought I was having a heart attack.
I thought maybe because me and my boy, Pat, we were in like so much pepperoni.
And so I was like, oh, maybe it's that.
Maybe it's finally catching up to me.
A Pepto-Bismol, nothing worked.
And then so, and so I realized like that was like, I thought that was love, but
that was
more of like an infatuation.
That was more of like a lust.
That was more like me just taken in by her beauty, like the, you know, that.
Oh yeah.
And so that's powerful.
That's necessary.
And then I went through with that feeling for years thinking like that was love.
And then we would have all these problems.
And I was always looking for something else.
I was always pushing her away.
Then I'd get closer.
She'd push me away and all these things.
And I realized like, oh, these are just that, that was, that wasn't love.
Love to me was in action.
What I realized was all these years later that the real love was her and I
coming back together
after, you know, a big fight.
Her showing me so much loyalty, me showing her loyalty, her being there for me
when the
things were not going well for me.
All those things were, that's the love.
The action, love is an action.
And I, and I see her do that for me because I used to think, I used to think
that she,
you know, I, I would always be searching in my, my brain being a bit of a
perfectionist
as, as, you know, we all are, I think in comedy, like we always want everything
to go right.
I would always saying, oh, you know, she's not, she's not perfect.
So I got to, you're looking for something else.
Your brain is always like, what's the next best thing?
What's the next best thing?
And then, you know, at some point to you, you say, okay, I can go get this or
get that.
And then looking for what's perfect, what's perfect.
And then I realized at some point it hit me.
I was like, oh, she actually is perfect because she's, she's taking me in from
all, all my imperfections.
She's understanding how imperfect I am and still accepting me anyway.
So that's, that is like someone who's perfect because a lot of people wouldn't
do that.
A lot of people would have just thrown me to the side by now and been like, hey,
figure it out.
Cause she knows I love my kids.
She knows I'm always going to take care of her.
Right.
You know, so it wasn't about the money.
It wasn't about, oh, I need a man in my life.
It's about specifically me.
She's taking me in from my imperfections.
So for me, that, that makes her perfect to me.
And after all these years, I've realized that all that and the action of love
and, and, you know,
what we have with our children and building a family, like there's
nothing that your life is happening right now.
And I have like a perfect life right now.
And I don't live in the zero sum game anymore.
It used to be, if my career was down, I'd be unhappy.
If, if, if I wasn't feeling in, if I was feeling out of shape, I'd be unhappy.
One thing could make it all unhappy because I was playing zero sum.
It's either all or nothing.
I don't do that anymore.
I'll say some things in my life are up and downs.
Everybody's life.
It's all, it's all in flux.
How were you able to adjust that?
Like, was there something that happened that made you sort of see that?
Cause that's pretty powerful to hear about, man.
Cause yeah, I think I, I've, I've certainly had that.
Like one thing will affect kind of how I operate for the rest of the day and
then, or affects
how I think about myself.
Well, I think children, that's why it's important, you know, in my life,
personally, people do
what they want.
But for me, uh, abort or your kids, whatever you want to do in New York, so you
could kill
them all up.
I think until they're 18, I think you can have legal abortions.
That's what AOC said.
Oh, you can send a kid to Gaza and Israel will kill them.
Mom Donnie's going to make it 21, he said.
Is he?
That's what he said.
That's what the platform, some people are voting for that.
You can abortions up to their kids are 21.
So, um, but what I felt like, you know, how I learned all that is literally
just by like
listening to my kids and, and watching what my kids kind of want for me and
expect for me.
And I, and I realized that, you know, you, you could spend your whole life
thinking about,
oh, what's going to happen tomorrow?
Always being, you know, always being, um, you know, there's something's better,
something's
better on the horizon.
You can spend your whole life like, and then your whole life goes by.
So I realized to like, be in the, like, nothing's better to me.
Like what's better than, you know, you know, a Lamborghini or selling out a
world tour or
having sex with the hottest girls.
Like, you know, just sitting in the grass with your kids like that.
And it's not for everybody.
And I, and also at times it's not even for me.
At times I'm sitting in the grass with my kids.
I'm like, this sucks.
I want to go drive in a Lamborghini, but, uh, but it's not a zero sum game.
Exactly.
But those moments that I do have when I am fully locked in, I'm always chasing
that.
If I'm chasing one thing, I'm always chasing that with these.
I've had feeling throughout my life of being locked in with my family.
I've never had a euphoria is like that.
I've never been happier than that.
And it doesn't happen all the time.
At times I'm home, my family trying to say, find that feeling.
And I just can't, you know, find it, but I don't beat myself up about it
anymore.
I'm like, yo, just keep coming.
Giannis and I, Giannis talks to me a lot about going back.
Life is coming back to the present.
Always come back to the present.
Always come back to the moment.
That's all.
That's, that's, that's your job.
Come back to the moment as, as much as you can throughout the day, come back to
the moment
because it's all happening now.
I try to be where my feet are.
Like there, there was a time when I was talking to you the last time we spoke
about love and
on Valentine's day, half of my brain was with you.
And then half of my brain was probably back home at my kids or, you know, what
I was doing
after that or my show.
But now I'm fully locked in just with you.
I, I, I've, that's one thing I have definitely can feel I've gotten better.
I just, I'm where my feet are.
I'm fully with you right now.
And then when I leave, I'll, I'll fully be with, you know, the driver.
And then I'll, and then, you know, when I speak to my family, I'll fully be
with them.
You know what I mean?
And then I'll fully be with an Asian dude in the bathroom at BNA airport, baby.
Right?
He's got Viet Cong.
The Viet Cong's getting, yeah, I got those camera shoes.
So that, so that's how I feel.
I don't know if I've explained it correctly.
A round trip to Saigon.
Yeah, Guantanamo Bay.
So I don't know if I explained it right.
No, I think you did.
That's what it is.
Well, I think it's funny you said, when you say something that it's like, yeah,
I let my
mind, like, uh, I'll have a thought and then my mind will multiply it.
Right.
Kind of.
I'll have a feeling or one bad thing will happen.
Something that's not my favorite.
Well, because the brain is going to go towards connections.
Right.
That's the connective tissue.
That's why they say those mushrooms, uh, or acid, one of them is good because
they say it
wipes away your.
Opioids.
I can't, which one is it?
That's what they say.
One of them, something on Joe Rogan said that.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But, but, but that, but that feeling, it's like this thing where I thought, I
was thinking
about this the other day, like the, you know, like to be happy, me and Janice
were having
a conversation about this and he had different feelings, but I was kind of
saying like, you
know, faith, you got to have faith.
Like, you know, people talk about hope and all that, but I feel like faith is,
is to me
is better.
Like it's faith is on a creator.
And like hope is just, hope is just gay faith.
It's just, exactly.
Hope is gay faith.
That's the merch.
So faith.
So I, you got to have faith that like tomorrow will be better.
So it kind of goes against what I just said.
But on the same hand, it's like simultaneously, I think this balance of life is
have, have
faith.
You know, we had to get out of the caves basically as, you know, Neanderthals,
we were getting
at, you had to get out of the cave, like to go survive and advance and all that.
So it's like, you got to have this faith that there's a better life outside the
cave by also
acknowledging simultaneously that what you have in the cave is enough.
It's a, it's a delicate life.
It's just balance.
You know what I mean?
Well, I think the one thing you, that we can count on, man, is just love.
It's like, that's what you, I think like, that's one of the messages I feel
like from
our conversation today.
It's like, you know, there's a lot going on in the world.
You focus on the things that are in front of you and the things you can handle.
And that is really what's important.
Make your life a little smaller.
That's what I try to tell my kids, man.
There's so many things going on in the world.
Yeah.
Take little breaks.
It's like, there's travesty happening all over the world.
You can't fix everything, but you know what I mean?
You could sweep up in front of your crib.
You could sweep up in front of the house, take the garbage out, you know, tell
your neighbors
try not to be Nazis if they can.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Do the right thing even when nobody's watching, all that.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Hope is my hedge.
Faith are my facts.
I am okay.
Hope is gay faith.
Hope is gay faith.
Faith is also a big time name for gay women.
Ooh.
Gay ass faith.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time name for gay women.
Hope is a big time 