Name: Student Asks Theo How to Get a Girl's Number
Uploaded: 2026-01-02T19:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Student Asks Theo How to Get a Girl's Number' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Student Asks Theo How to Get a Girl's Number' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-02. Transcript available.

Yo, Theo Vaughn.
My name is Patrick.
What's up, Patrick?
Good to hear from you, brother.
Thank you for calling.
I live in Washington, Illinois.
Oh, you live in Washington, Illinois?
Dude, my friend Corey used to live there.
He was in the Pipefitters Union, dude.
He might still be in it.
I'm not going to text him.
Okay, onward.
I kind of need some advice, bro.
I want to ask this girl for her number,
but I ain't ever really talked to her that much.
We talked a little bit, but not that much.
And low-key, we got three lunch hours at our school,
and I don't know what one she's switching to
next semester after Christmas break.
So can you give me some advice to get her number
before Christmas break?
I mean, dude, if you're trying to get,
I remember that stuff.
Were you trying to get a girl's number at school?
That's hard, bro.
God, because the nerves, dude.
My nerves were so high during school,
I couldn't even do anything.
Dude, every time I even saw a girl,
I had to go to the office and get ice on my head.
Dude, if I tried to ask a girl to a dance or whatever,
I would just wake up in the lobby or whatever,
covered in ice or whatever, eight bags of ice.
They'd have me just iced out, bro.
I look like damn 2 Chainz out there running a fever, though, dude.
It was just, dude, I didn't, yeah.
If I even, dude, if I even wrote check yes or no
on a piece of paper, I'd fucking,
I'd fall out my chair like one of those little
Joe Rogan baby videos, you know?
So, dude, I don't have any advice.
Are you kidding, bro?
What are you even talking about, dude?
You know, I couldn't do shit.
You haven't heard any of these podcasts, bro?
I got nothing, dog.
You think I got advice for you?
Dude, I don't have a woman.
You think I can help you get somebody?
And I will say this, though, dude.
There's nothing better than talking to the girl
and win or lose.
Because you walk off and you're like,
yup, at least I tried, bro.
That's American shit.
That's American shit, bro.
Dude, just say, hey, give me half your number.
Don't even put it all on her.
Give me half your number.
Because that's even easier.
Because here's the thing.
If she wants you to have all of it,
she'll make sure you get the rest of it.
Say, hey, give me half your number.
And then give her an envelope or something
with your address on it for the mail.
Put the stamps on it.
And say, look, if you want me to have the other half,
send me that bit.
You know, then at least you got some excitement coming.
You got Santa sending you something.
Christmas means something right there.
So that's kind of something, dude.
But yeah, dude, I remember I asked some girl
to a dance one time.
She said yes.
I was high on mushrooms.
I will admit that.
But I got so excited right when she said yes.
I ran through this party of children outdoors.
Ran, jumped over a chain link fence,
cut my hand and stomach open.
Had to go to emergency room, ambulance, everything.
So, yeah, dude, you got the wrong guy, bro.
But I love that, bro.
And yeah, dude, you get over there and you say, look,
I would love to have one number of your phone number.
Just start there.
Don't ask for the whole number, bro.
Don't be greedy, bro.
Get one number.
See what happened, bro.
You know what I'm saying?
Leave room for God to work.
Praise God, brother.
Good luck out there.
What do you think, Trevin?
That's fair?
He's got to pursue it, bro.
Pursue the happiness.
Yeah, you got to pursue.
That's true.
It's the pursuit of happiness.
It's not guaranteed, bro.
That's true.
It's the pursuit.
You're right, bro.
Yeah, you got to get over there.
Dude, I'm trying to think of what you could do.
But you can't be crazy, dude.
Look, if she's not interested,
you can't make somebody interested.
But you can just have a little bit of energy about you.
You're right.