Name: What the Epstein Investigation Revealed About the FBI
Uploaded: 2026-01-07T20:48:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What the Epstein Investigation Revealed About the FBI' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What the Epstein Investigation Revealed About the FBI' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-07. Transcript available.

I mean the handling of the Epstein scandal, that goes down in history as like
the worst handling
of a scandal I've ever seen. Literally from all these guys running on we're
gonna release this
stuff, Pam Bondi having that thing where she gave the influencers the binders,
and then it turns
out there was nothing in them that was new, and then they pivoted on a dime to
there's no such
thing. I don't even know what you're talking about. You're crazy to think there
was a thing
to be released. And then to turn around, and then they turn around, and Mike
Johnson said it will
end the political order if we vote for Thomas Massey and Rokihana and Marjorie
Taylor Greene's
bill to release the files. And then they turn around and get pressured into
voting for it,
and now they're just redacting everything. He lost so much credibility on that.
Obviously,
I think bombing Iran was terrible. Well, let's go one thing at a time. Sure,
sure, sure.
The Epstein. So look, so yeah, bring up some of those pictures that they just
released too.
What was with the photo drop right before Christmas? It's all so bizarre. Like,
what is that a picture
about? If you're a married guy, you know what I'm saying? Like, what are you
doing there?
Yeah, I mean like- You're a married 60-year-old guy?
Yeah, listen, I'm never going to be in a position with some chick like that. I'm
a married guy.
That's a weird thing. Yeah. I mean, now again, it doesn't give us that much
more information,
and we don't see her face, but sure does look a lot younger than him. Yeah, go
through some of
these. I mean, this is kind of, I mean, it's all just kind of wild. Kevin Spacey
and Bill Clinton
there. And was this at Epstein Island? Allegedly. Allegedly. And there's some
photos. This is the
best thing. Look at these photos. Everything redacted in them. Here's a, these
could be photos from
anybody's phone. Everything redacted. And then one Mark of the Beast or
something from Zodiac
Killer on the one that he'd drawn on. Yeah. Just bizarre. I mean, it just like-
It's so strange.
Why? Why would they just show us some of this stuff right before the holidays?
Are they just
trying to like- Everything now you start to, you have to think, is this like,
is it trying
to distract my attention from something else, you know? And the news reports,
they don't even
tell you about the real shit that's going on anyway. Yeah. So most of the stuff
that's happening,
here's the crazy part. We don't even know anymore. Like most of the most
serious shit that's going on.
Yeah. We don't even have a clue. Well, I think part of the thing, look, the Epstein,
the whole story is so, like, it's so dirty. Like, it just stinks. I mean, you
just look at it and
you're like, dude, look, we know what we know, but knowing what we know, how
could you possibly piece
this together, that it's not some huge scandal. I mean, like already when you
just go, okay,
so there's a guy who was convicted of pedophilia or convicted of soliciting
prostitution from an
underage girl, you know, then a decade after he's convicted or at least eight
years after,
he's still like in the most influential circles with all these. And then for
national security reasons,
you're telling me that this has to be hugely redacted. Like what the hell? This
just makes
no sense. And his connections to Ehud Barak and Mossad now all being known, it's
just too crazy.
And Donald Trump, I mean, I think, I think, I think covering up the Epstein
thing, the way he has,
has like profoundly hurt him in a way that isn't even measurable on polls. And
like his poll numbers
are lower than they were. And I'm sure that's a big part of it, but there is
something where like,
look, the, the fundamental animating spirit of Donald Trump's political
existence, his,
his central promise was drain the swamp. Yeah. You know, like the, the reason
why people love Donald
Trump is because everybody on some level knew that DC is just corrupt as shit
and that they're screwing
all the rest of us over and they face no consequences for it. And there's
something about covering up the
Epstein thing that it's like, Oh, when it really came down to it, you didn't
want to drain the swamp.
You wanted to protect them. And maybe cause you're pretty close to it.
You're a gator. Yeah. Oh, it's just so twisted. And one thing that Tucker Carlson
said that was
interesting to me. Um, yeah, I mean, some of this stuff is just, I mean, weird
writings from the
Lolita books on these women's bodies. Very strange. I mean, that's really wild.
Oh, just bizarre.
Noam Chomsky, legendary anti-war leftist. Steve Jobs. I'm sorry. Not Steve Jobs.
Bill Gates.
I apologize for that. Steve. A couple of bow and arrows. Um, but yeah, just
bizarre that these would
come out right before Christmas. It kind of like keeps your attention focusing
on that. And also it's like a drip.
It's like a morphine drip. And delivered in a way that is more confusing than
illuminating. You know
what I mean? Delivered in a way where nobody's attempting to actually get
information to you that
you can even try. I mean, like, obviously like good journalists will be tearing
through these
documents. I think they said there's like 1.7 million more to come. Journalists
will be tearing
through these for years. But like, I think you just can't. It's like watching
lost after a while.
Well, also I can't, look, man, I know, I know people get, people get tribal
about politics.
And I know like there was a whole, when I came out like a little over a year
ago and I said I was
going to support Donald Trump in the election. I know that Trump people were
like, yeah, Dave Smith's
on board. And then, and I always knew, I was like, listen guys, you're going to
be mad at me when he
does something I don't like. And I'm back to criticizing him. But like, if we're
just being fair about this,
I just, I can't not say this shit, dude, cash Patel and Dan Bongino made
millions of dollars,
dude. Like they made so much goddamn money. I mean, I don't know. Cash did a
lot of big shows.
Dan Bongino had a huge show. He made millions of dollars all day long talking
about this Epstein
scandal, how they were going to get to the bottom of it. He even said Dan Bongino,
the, I guess he's
leaving now, but the deputy FBI director even said on Tim Pool's show that he
had it on good
authority that Jeffrey Epstein was connected to Middle Eastern intelligence.
Now, which Middle
Eastern intelligence do you think he was talking about? Which middle Epstein
was surely working on
the Saudi payroll or something like that? Like, yeah. Okay. So like they said
this, they promised
they were going to get to, and not just did jack shit lied through their
fucking teeth, told us there
were no co-conspirators. There was no sex trafficking that he killed himself.
Like, Hey, cash Patel,
Dan Bongino, you, you looked me in the eye, not to me, but to the American
people and said,
he killed himself. I've seen the proof. Why can't we see that proof? Yeah. I
don't even know if cash
can look somebody in the eyes. Cause you looked all of us in the eye
simultaneously. When you,
it is funny. When you start to look at cash Patel, you're like, there's no way
this was the guy.
How did we ever think this was the guy? Um, and Tim Dillon has, Tim Dillon has
totally kind of like,
Tim Dillon has brought this guy's life down, but to a manageable level, to a
realistic level. Like,
yeah, those guys, it makes you realize that there's, there's a, there's
something above the FBI and the
CIA that gives them what they, then you're allowed to work from here. Yeah.
Here's the, it's like you
sit at the, uh, kids table at Thanksgiving and you, you play with these, you
know, we'll give you, you can
do the drug charges and a little bit of this and that. And, but otherwise we're
going to handle the
big shit. That's right. That's right. Or it's, it's either that they were, they
never really got in
control and there was a level of control above them or that they were lying and
that they, or that they
sold out or that they were compromised, but there's some answer to it. But
there is something where
like you just, the credibility damage on all of them, like, like just the
amount of like street
cred that cash Patel had a year ago compared to now and Trump too, I think all
of them, but some of
it is also, I think is, um, it's the communication, right? It's like, why not
come and say, Hey,
I got in here. I'm not even allowed to see the things that I really want to see.
Yeah. And I'm also not allowed to say the things that I really want to say.
Yeah. Right. Like if you said that, or if you said like, honestly, there's so
many, this,
this Epstein stuff has, has to go through so many hands before we can even put
anything out to the
public so that everybody can safely get their stuff for that, that, uh, that it's
unbelievable.
And the best we're ever going to get is this. Well, the other thing, the other
thing that,
um, because then he said that they'd seen everything and there was nothing
there.
Yeah. Yeah. Can you pull that up? I think he says also now they're saying there's
1.7 million
documents. Like, did you go through all of those yourself? Like, are you
confident? Yes. He did
say that. You and Dan had a sleepover or whatever and just stayed up all night
going through those.
And you also just know, right? Like, it's like, you know, if he had come on Rogan
a year earlier,
you know, he would have been saying a whole different thing about that. And so
it's like,
you got to at least explain to me, like what changed from there to now? Cause
otherwise you leave us
just speculating. Like, I don't know, dude, either you're compromised or you
got put in your place or
you, or you're just a liar and a fraud. Yeah. Let me see what clips. Oh, here's
a clip we have.
This, this, uh, this is a Tim Dillon, uh, this is a cash Patel Rogan clip that
Tim Dillon covers.
This is, this is, this is a good tell talking about why they can't put the Epstein
stuff out.
Cause it will re-victimize the women. We're not going to re-victimize women. We're
not going to put
that shit back up. It's not happening. Cause then he wins. Not doing it. Who
wins? He's dead.
That's too ridiculous, man. I mean, look, the victim. If there was a video of
some guy or gal committing
felonies, and I'm in charge, don't you think you'd see it? Yes. But that's,
that's why everyone's
confused. Pam Bondi said there were videos. She's the attorney general. She
goes, there's hundreds
of hours of videos. That's a quote from Pam, but get the Pam Bondi quote up by
the videos. There are
tens of thousands of videos of Epstein with children or child porn, and there
are hundreds of victims.
So that's Pam Bondi. Now let's go to Cash Patel who goes, um, so if there were
things, let's go.
Cash Patel, everyone. If there was a video, don't you think you'd see it?
If you have access to it. If I have it, period. If I have it, if I have it, you
got it.
So where else would it be? It's just, this is why, dude, this is why Tim's a
better comedian
than me. Cause he could just be so funny with this shit. And I'm just, it just
makes me so angry.
Like even just watching that, I'm just like furious. So I don't even think of
the funny thing to say.
I'm just like, yeah, because dude, what does that essentially come down to?
Trust me.
Don't, if I had it, don't you think I would? And then, and what is Cash really
trading
in his trust for is we liked you because you said you were going to get to the
bottom
of this shit. That's the whole thing we liked you for. So you can't turn around
and then
go, and now I'm here, but wouldn't, you know, me, I mean, I would, and look,
dude, it's,
it's, there's a broader thing that's involved here, right? The point is that
the drain,
the swamp cash Patel, Dan Bongino, their whole brand, the whole thing was that,
look, there are
these criminals in DC and look at all the things that they've done. And, and
they would all talk,
it wasn't just, uh, Epstein. They would all talk about Russiagate, the 2020
election. I mean,
look what these guys are claiming. And I don't know about the 2020 election,
but they're 100% right
on Russiagate and Epstein when they were talking about it before they sold out
is that they go,
look, the intelligence agencies framed a presidential candidate. And then the
sitting
president, they framed him of treason in order to unseat a democratically
elected president of the
United States of America. That is the biggest scandal in the history of the
United States of
America. Like this is the, these are huge crimes, sedition, treason, very
serious crimes and nobody's
paying. They locked down the whole country based on pseudoscience. They fucking,
they, they covered
up a, a, a senile president. They covered up a pedophile ring. They like all.
And now you guys
are in charge of the justice department. How many indictments? Yeah. Zero, zero.
And then you're
going to sit there and cash Patel is going to tweet out a picture of like some
dude throwing a sandwich
at a cop and go, we got them. Cause this is cash Patel's America boys. People
don't get away with
crimes here. Like that's, Oh wow. Great job. Wow. Cash Patel. We're all so
impressed that you
brought down Chauncey Billups. Yeah. Like, okay, that's great. You know, like,
that's great. But
like, that's not exactly what we were voting for. Can't a cop get a free Reuben?
I don't care how he
gets it. And that sandwich was still pretty good. I don't care how he gets it,
dude. A cop would love
a free Reuben dude.

What the Epstein Investigation Revealed About the FBI

I mean the handling of the Epstein scandal, that goes down in history as like
the worst handling
of a scandal I've ever seen. Literally from all these guys running on we're
gonna release this
stuff, Pam Bondi having that thing where she gave the influencers the binders,
and then it turns
out there was nothing in them that was new, and then they pivoted on a dime to
there's no such
thing. I don't even know what you're talking about. You're crazy to think there
was a thing
to be released. And then to turn around, and then they turn around, and Mike
Johnson said it will
end the political order if we vote for Thomas Massey and Rokihana and Marjorie
Taylor Greene's
bill to release the files. And then they turn around and get pressured into
voting for it,
and now they're just redacting everything. He lost so much credibility on that.
Obviously,
I think bombing Iran was terrible. Well, let's go one thing at a time. Sure,
sure, sure.
The Epstein. So look, so yeah, bring up some of those pictures that they just
released too.
What was with the photo drop right before Christmas? It's all so bizarre. Like,
what is that a picture
about? If you're a married guy, you know what I'm saying? Like, what are you
doing there?
Yeah, I mean like- You're a married 60-year-old guy?
Yeah, listen, I'm never going to be in a position with some chick like that. I'm
a married guy.
That's a weird thing. Yeah. I mean, now again, it doesn't give us that much
more information,
and we don't see her face, but sure does look a lot younger than him. Yeah, go
through some of
these. I mean, this is kind of, I mean, it's all just kind of wild. Kevin Spacey
and Bill Clinton
there. And was this at Epstein Island? Allegedly. Allegedly. And there's some
photos. This is the
best thing. Look at these photos. Everything redacted in them. Here's a, these
could be photos from
anybody's phone. Everything redacted. And then one Mark of the Beast or
something from Zodiac
Killer on the one that he'd drawn on. Yeah. Just bizarre. I mean, it just like-
It's so strange.
Why? Why would they just show us some of this stuff right before the holidays?
Are they just
trying to like- Everything now you start to, you have to think, is this like,
is it trying
to distract my attention from something else, you know? And the news reports,
they don't even
tell you about the real shit that's going on anyway. Yeah. So most of the stuff
that's happening,
here's the crazy part. We don't even know anymore. Like most of the most
serious shit that's going on.
Yeah. We don't even have a clue. Well, I think part of the thing, look, the Epstein,
the whole story is so, like, it's so dirty. Like, it just stinks. I mean, you
just look at it and
you're like, dude, look, we know what we know, but knowing what we know, how
could you possibly piece
this together, that it's not some huge scandal. I mean, like already when you
just go, okay,
so there's a guy who was convicted of pedophilia or convicted of soliciting
prostitution from an
underage girl, you know, then a decade after he's convicted or at least eight
years after,
he's still like in the most influential circles with all these. And then for
national security reasons,
you're telling me that this has to be hugely redacted. Like what the hell? This
just makes
no sense. And his connections to Ehud Barak and Mossad now all being known, it's
just too crazy.
And Donald Trump, I mean, I think, I think, I think covering up the Epstein
thing, the way he has,
has like profoundly hurt him in a way that isn't even measurable on polls. And
like his poll numbers
are lower than they were. And I'm sure that's a big part of it, but there is
something where like,
look, the, the fundamental animating spirit of Donald Trump's political
existence, his,
his central promise was drain the swamp. Yeah. You know, like the, the reason
why people love Donald
Trump is because everybody on some level knew that DC is just corrupt as shit
and that they're screwing
all the rest of us over and they face no consequences for it. And there's
something about covering up the
Epstein thing that it's like, Oh, when it really came down to it, you didn't
want to drain the swamp.
You wanted to protect them. And maybe cause you're pretty close to it.
You're a gator. Yeah. Oh, it's just so twisted. And one thing that Tucker Carlson
said that was
interesting to me. Um, yeah, I mean, some of this stuff is just, I mean, weird
writings from the
Lolita books on these women's bodies. Very strange. I mean, that's really wild.
Oh, just bizarre.
Noam Chomsky, legendary anti-war leftist. Steve Jobs. I'm sorry. Not Steve Jobs.
Bill Gates.
I apologize for that. Steve. A couple of bow and arrows. Um, but yeah, just
bizarre that these would
come out right before Christmas. It kind of like keeps your attention focusing
on that. And also it's like a drip.
It's like a morphine drip. And delivered in a way that is more confusing than
illuminating. You know
what I mean? Delivered in a way where nobody's attempting to actually get
information to you that
you can even try. I mean, like, obviously like good journalists will be tearing
through these
documents. I think they said there's like 1.7 million more to come. Journalists
will be tearing
through these for years. But like, I think you just can't. It's like watching
lost after a while.
Well, also I can't, look, man, I know, I know people get, people get tribal
about politics.
And I know like there was a whole, when I came out like a little over a year
ago and I said I was
going to support Donald Trump in the election. I know that Trump people were
like, yeah, Dave Smith's
on board. And then, and I always knew, I was like, listen guys, you're going to
be mad at me when he
does something I don't like. And I'm back to criticizing him. But like, if we're
just being fair about this,
I just, I can't not say this shit, dude, cash Patel and Dan Bongino made
millions of dollars,
dude. Like they made so much goddamn money. I mean, I don't know. Cash did a
lot of big shows.
Dan Bongino had a huge show. He made millions of dollars all day long talking
about this Epstein
scandal, how they were going to get to the bottom of it. He even said Dan Bongino,
the, I guess he's
leaving now, but the deputy FBI director even said on Tim Pool's show that he
had it on good
authority that Jeffrey Epstein was connected to Middle Eastern intelligence.
Now, which Middle
Eastern intelligence do you think he was talking about? Which middle Epstein
was surely working on
the Saudi payroll or something like that? Like, yeah. Okay. So like they said
this, they promised
they were going to get to, and not just did jack shit lied through their
fucking teeth, told us there
were no co-conspirators. There was no sex trafficking that he killed himself.
Like, Hey, cash Patel,
Dan Bongino, you, you looked me in the eye, not to me, but to the American
people and said,
he killed himself. I've seen the proof. Why can't we see that proof? Yeah. I
don't even know if cash
can look somebody in the eyes. Cause you looked all of us in the eye
simultaneously. When you,
it is funny. When you start to look at cash Patel, you're like, there's no way
this was the guy.
How did we ever think this was the guy? Um, and Tim Dillon has, Tim Dillon has
totally kind of like,
Tim Dillon has brought this guy's life down, but to a manageable level, to a
realistic level. Like,
yeah, those guys, it makes you realize that there's, there's a, there's
something above the FBI and the
CIA that gives them what they, then you're allowed to work from here. Yeah.
Here's the, it's like you
sit at the, uh, kids table at Thanksgiving and you, you play with these, you
know, we'll give you, you can
do the drug charges and a little bit of this and that. And, but otherwise we're
going to handle the
big shit. That's right. That's right. Or it's, it's either that they were, they
never really got in
control and there was a level of control above them or that they were lying and
that they, or that they
sold out or that they were compromised, but there's some answer to it. But
there is something where
like you just, the credibility damage on all of them, like, like just the
amount of like street
cred that cash Patel had a year ago compared to now and Trump too, I think all
of them, but some of
it is also, I think is, um, it's the communication, right? It's like, why not
come and say, Hey,
I got in here. I'm not even allowed to see the things that I really want to see.
Yeah. And I'm also not allowed to say the things that I really want to say.
Yeah. Right. Like if you said that, or if you said like, honestly, there's so
many, this,
this Epstein stuff has, has to go through so many hands before we can even put
anything out to the
public so that everybody can safely get their stuff for that, that, uh, that it's
unbelievable.
And the best we're ever going to get is this. Well, the other thing, the other
thing that,
um, because then he said that they'd seen everything and there was nothing
there.
Yeah. Yeah. Can you pull that up? I think he says also now they're saying there's
1.7 million
documents. Like, did you go through all of those yourself? Like, are you
confident? Yes. He did
say that. You and Dan had a sleepover or whatever and just stayed up all night
going through those.
And you also just know, right? Like, it's like, you know, if he had come on Rogan
a year earlier,
you know, he would have been saying a whole different thing about that. And so
it's like,
you got to at least explain to me, like what changed from there to now? Cause
otherwise you leave us
just speculating. Like, I don't know, dude, either you're compromised or you
got put in your place or
you, or you're just a liar and a fraud. Yeah. Let me see what clips. Oh, here's
a clip we have.
This, this, uh, this is a Tim Dillon, uh, this is a cash Patel Rogan clip that
Tim Dillon covers.
This is, this is, this is a good tell talking about why they can't put the Epstein
stuff out.
Cause it will re-victimize the women. We're not going to re-victimize women. We're
not going to put
that shit back up. It's not happening. Cause then he wins. Not doing it. Who
wins? He's dead.
That's too ridiculous, man. I mean, look, the victim. If there was a video of
some guy or gal committing
felonies, and I'm in charge, don't you think you'd see it? Yes. But that's,
that's why everyone's
confused. Pam Bondi said there were videos. She's the attorney general. She
goes, there's hundreds
of hours of videos. That's a quote from Pam, but get the Pam Bondi quote up by
the videos. There are
tens of thousands of videos of Epstein with children or child porn, and there
are hundreds of victims.
So that's Pam Bondi. Now let's go to Cash Patel who goes, um, so if there were
things, let's go.
Cash Patel, everyone. If there was a video, don't you think you'd see it?
If you have access to it. If I have it, period. If I have it, if I have it, you
got it.
So where else would it be? It's just, this is why, dude, this is why Tim's a
better comedian
than me. Cause he could just be so funny with this shit. And I'm just, it just
makes me so angry.
Like even just watching that, I'm just like furious. So I don't even think of
the funny thing to say.
I'm just like, yeah, because dude, what does that essentially come down to?
Trust me.
Don't, if I had it, don't you think I would? And then, and what is Cash really
trading
in his trust for is we liked you because you said you were going to get to the
bottom
of this shit. That's the whole thing we liked you for. So you can't turn around
and then
go, and now I'm here, but wouldn't, you know, me, I mean, I would, and look,
dude, it's,
it's, there's a broader thing that's involved here, right? The point is that
the drain,
the swamp cash Patel, Dan Bongino, their whole brand, the whole thing was that,
look, there are
these criminals in DC and look at all the things that they've done. And, and
they would all talk,
it wasn't just, uh, Epstein