Name: Theo and Trevor Wallace Ponder Life in Jail
Uploaded: 2026-01-19T13:45:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Trevor Wallace Ponder Life in Jail' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Theo and Trevor Wallace Ponder Life in Jail' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-19. Transcript available.

You saw 6ix9ine. He's going to the same prison as Maduro. Did you see that?
He's in there with Luigi, Diddy, Maduro.
I don't know if that's true, but I saw it on a meme.
That's crazy.
But I guess it makes sense they keep mauling the same prison.
Let me see what this 6ix9ine Maduro is.
Arrested President Maduro and his wife.
That's crazy, right?
So it's a mad thing. So I got the call.
I love how he's doing PR for jail.
He's doing a podcast run to promote jail.
Somebody texted me saying that they think that when they send me to prison on
Tuesday,
me and Maduro is going to be in the same unit.
But do you think he's going to prison for PR?
What charges is he there for?
That's a great question. What charges is he there for?
I wonder if he'd be a good guest whenever he gets out, you think?
Yeah. Have you ever met him?
Mm-mm. I never met him.
Rapper Takashi 6ix9ine has faced various charges, primarily stemming from his
association with the Nine Trey Bloods.
What's he going to jail for right now?
And jail sentence in early 2026.
Received another three-month sentence for new violations, including having
cocaine and ecstasy in his Miami home and punching a man who taunted him.
Well, sometimes you got to do that.
But damn, yeah, I think it could be interesting just to see what his life is
like and stuff.
They should give him, like, a Twitch stream from jail.
Yeah.
If he's on a run here.
I'll tell you what, if I was in jail, the first thing I'm doing is buying one
of those phones out of another dude's ass, which might be the worst convenience
store ever.
I'm buying the phone out of another dude's ass.
Well, here's the thing.
You put your money in his hand and whatever comes out of his ass is yours.
I think that's usually how those kind of, like...
It is very true.
Oh, dude, it's...
Isn't that funny?
And it's usually the first thing out because you kind of have to give a...
Like, you don't usually have a ton of money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, fuck.
He's got one item in there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If he's got two, then that boy is into a different pleasure.
No, I think you can tickle each guy to kind of see if you can guess...
Holy shit.
That's how you rob a human vending machine.
Yeah.
They got an androids.
But I think the first thing I would do if I was in jail, because I don't know
how they
get internet or Wi-Fi, but, like, I'll see, like, live TikToks in jail
sometimes.
Yeah, Drewski has all those guys doing that.
He's always looped in with, like, a lot of, like, it looks kind of like boys to
men, sort
of like...
It looks like an acapella group that went to jail.
Right, right, right.
You know, and they're all wearing sheisties and shit, and they're all in there.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't need the sheisties.
You're already in jail.
But I think I would immediately try to start an OF account.
I would be like, I'm already in jail.
Like, I would just J-O.
I would just beat my shit every night in my cell.
Oh, I don't know.
I think you get tired of that.
You want to start reading, dude.
Trust me.
Let me just tell you.
After a couple nights, you're going to want to just...
If I was in jail.
You're going to want to tap into a good book.
But just if I wanted to raise enough money to pay for my bail.
Oh, for sure.
If I'm in jail and I want to get out.
Yeah, no, no, no.
I hear you.
I think that's always the answer.
But if I'm in jail and I'm trying to meet my bail, and I need, like, 50K, I don't
know what the crime would be.
Type shit.
Well, I just feel like everything is going to start merging.
They're going to have to start funding.
Like, if the government can't keep things going, everything is going to have to
be started
to be funded kind of privately or by people or by, like, you know, so I wouldn't
be surprised
if you start to see, like, Twitch streams from jail.
I wouldn't be surprised if you start to see, like, um, the army, uh, or the
military start
to, like, have stream or have, um, content, right?
Like, I just think that that stuff's going to kind of grow a lot, you know?
Like, I'll be on TikTok live just, and it'll just pop up.
And there's, like, always, and if you're chronically online, you've seen this,
on TikTok, they'll
just show, like, a bar.
Like, it's just, like, behind the bartender, and he's just working, and there's
just a bar.
Yeah.
For what?
And they're, like, monetizing that.
They're just showing security camera of places.
Yeah.
And just getting money from it.
Oh, dude, I used to watch, like, uh, these, like, in, like, different funerals
from different
countries.
Like, you could watch, like, Indian funerals and stuff, and they'd have streams
of it,
and, like, on YouTube, or, like, just long clips of it.
Yeah.
You could just watch, like, it's, it's, it's neat to have kind of, like, um,
just, like,
a thing you can just watch.
It just blows my mind, like, the effect of live.
Like, if somebody was like, hey, here's a 20-minute video, I bet I don't want
to watch
that, but they're like, here's a stream, you'll end up watching 20 minutes,
like, in the blink
of an eye.
Well, let's go a little bit more to that prison.
Who else was in there?
Who else has been in there?
Is there any articles on it?
Is Hezbollah in there?
Hall of Fame.
Was he in or out of jail?
He's, he's got those RICO charges.
Hezbollah?
Yeah, doesn't he?
He has a twin sister, you know that?
No, I didn't know this.
Hezbollah has a twin sister?
Yes, Hezbollah Magomedov was arrested in his native Dagestan in May 2023 for
traffic violations.
Of course.
And he, he couldn't reach the pedals.
Yeah, what are we even talking about?
Including blocking a road and doing donuts with friends while celebrating a
wedding.
Bro, put him in a Waymo and call it a day.
First of all, you have to know that if he gets into a car, he just shut the
road down for
a couple minutes.
Unless it's a Fisher-Price, what car was he whipping in?
He was released under house arrest after being granted bail and had to wear an
ankle monitor
around his neck.
No way.
They just turned him into a Rottweiler.
Do you think being on house arrest-
I made that part up.
He later apologized for the incident, stating he wasn't driving and promised it
wouldn't
happen again.
I love that in their country, there's such a code of honor, you can just at
least promise
that it won't happen again.
That's awesome.
I mean, do you think being on a house arrest as a smaller person is like, nice?
I bet it's kind of nice, especially for a busy guy like him, because he gets,
you know,
he just gets a little bit of time to himself.
Al Sharpton's locked up.
Notable inmates that have been held at MDC Brooklyn.
Oh, oh, oh, have been.
Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn has gained significant notoriety for
housing
in an unusually high concentration of high-profile federal defendants,
including Maduro, Luigi,
Mangione, Diddy, R. Kelly, Sam Bankman-Fried, El Chapo, Michael Cohen, Ghislaine
Maxwell,
Martin Shkreli, and Al Sharpton.
Wow.
If you care, it's Sam Bankman-Fried.
Sam Bankman-Fried.
I just thought it was funny that he named him, like his two last names were the
two things
that he was.
He was like this bank man, and then he was also fried all the time.
That's right there.
So to me, it was like the most perfect-
He's in jail for-
What did he do again?
He might be out now.
Sam Bankman-
I think he's still in there.
Was convicted and sentenced to 25 years in prison while for orchestrating
massive fraud
at his crypto exchange, FTC, found guilty of seven counts, including wire fraud,
conspiracy
to commit fraud.
Yep, he's in there.
So he'll be in there for a while.
I feel like the NFT people are kind of-
Like, NFTs got so swept under the rug, but there were so many people who pulled
massive
money from that, and just kind of-
They made, like, NFC, like, clubs, and NFC, like-
And then that all just disappeared.
Yeah, and nobody talks about it.
Did you see the new-
This is the new way that they're thinking that incarceration could happen?
This is with AI and technology.
This is fascinating.
See if you can find that story of the pods.
What is this?
Yes.
The future of incarceration.
This is no longer about us, honestly.
I think it's too late.
But it's about our generations to come.
Your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren.
There is a company called Cognify.
If you Google it and watch their video, and it's the future of incarceration,
is what it's
titled.
With this Cognify system, let's say you do a crime, or maybe you act out
against the government,
or you have a belief system that is not consistent with the country that you
live in, and you
are prosecuted for a crime.
By their definition, you will then get an opportunity to choose.
Let's just use this for hypothetical.
A measly petty theft.
You can spend 50 years in prison, or you can go through the Cognify process,
which in three
minutes, they will imprint memory sets.
So let's say there was someone who was even harmed by the crime that you did.
You will be able to feel the emotions of your victim, the emotions that the
family members
went through, all of that.
You will be forced to have the empathy.
And you will feel like you've been imprisoned for 25 years, or whatever it may
be, but it's
only three minutes.
Fuck that.
They need that shit for when my girlfriend comes up to me after she had her
period the
next day and goes, I'm so sorry about last night.
I'm on my period.
Okay, well, you need to feel what I was feeling last night for getting yelled
at.
Get into the Cognify machine.
But dude, eventually, if they have an at-home one, that'd be crazy.
But this is saying-
This is like reverse icebathing.
Like, sit in this and feel awful about yourself.
But this is saying that if you did a crime, and if you could have- I'm guessing
it's probably
something you'd have to afford.
If you could afford Cognify, then you'd be able to go and serve your sentence
in Cognify.
You would have all the things that would really feel like in your brain had
happened.
And in five minutes, you could do 20 years.
That's so fascinating, because like, one, you could pay off the guy who hits
the buttons.
And then there's like, all right, here we go.
And then you're like, oh, ooh, ow.
Oh, no, it's hurting.
Well, I mean, I think- here it says, Cognify is a futuristic prison concept
proposed by scientist
Hashem Al-Gai-Gai-Gai.
He's the newest member of FaZe Clan, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He does.
That uses AI and brain implants to replace long sentences with brief, intense
rehabilitation.
So it's almost like an EMDR, but extremely deep into your brain.
AI-generated memories, artificial, vivid memories are created by AI to simulate
the impact of a crime on victims.
Dude, this would be crazy.
Inmates experience years of remorse and understanding in a short time allowing
for quicker release and reintegration.
I mean, it kind of makes sense, because that's what you're supposed to be there
for.
I just wonder how long would that stay, you know?
And what if you just go into prison for, like, a little while, and it's just a
bunch of- you don't learn anything.
It's just a bunch of dudes that's run a train on you or whatever.
That would be my scary thing.
That's what I'm saying, like, you use up for three minutes, and now you're just
limping.
Yeah, dude.
What if you get out, and you're like- and then your wife lies.
She's like, yeah, I left while you were gone.
You were gone so long.
You're like-
I was gone for two songs on Spotify.
Yeah, dude.
Well, that's the interesting part.
What the fuck?
And your son's like, yeah, we have a new stepdad.
You're like, what?
Bro, that would be the scary thing, is what if they just bring you back and
like, oh, yeah, man, you just got a couple of MS-13 guys got a hold of you, and
now you're like El Gay or whatever.
And that would be the scariest part to me, bro.
The crazy part is like, if they're doing this in three minutes, it's like, you
leave your house at 10 a.m.
You're like, oh, I committed this crime.
I'm so sorry.
You come back.
You're back at noon, and all of a sudden, you have all the remorse for, you
know, burning down an Arby's.
And now you're like, I didn't think the fry cook was still in there.
And like, now you just have this feeling of regret the rest of your life, but
you still have the rest of your life to like-
Yeah, but I think the shortcut-
It'll be a shortcut, and I think it'll be for people that can afford it.
Because here's what you'll be able to do.
People will, the Arby's family, they'll have some sort of like other part of it
that's like an attorney part of it where it's like, okay, you can make due
right now.
You can pay restitution.
You burn down the Arby's.
You killed two, you know, a fry cook.
And someone in the drive-thru refused to leave without their order, even though
the place was burning down.
And one other counter person.
So-
You can settle out of court with them all right now for $300,000.
And then it's just going to be like this fast track thing.
It's like, yeah, you're off the hook, and you feel the remorse, and you keep
living.
So, if you shoot someone, would you feel that person's pain?
I think they just want you to feel, so you would feel the pain of their family
members and stuff like that.
They would have ways that they could embed that into you.
Yeah, that would fuck you up.
I mean, both of those would fuck you up for life.
But what if you do like tax fraud?
It should fuck you up.
You killed some people at an Arby's.
You shouldn't just-
Absolutely, right, right, right.
Right, it should fuck you up.
Yeah, you shouldn't be off scot-free.
So, how would that work with, like, tax fraud?
Like, who-
The government's-
No.
That's a good point.
Maybe they wouldn't allow it for certain crimes.
Or if they were able to get the money back from you, I'm not sure.
That's a good question.
How fast would they do that?
I feel like-
I don't know, that's crazy.
Yeah.
But they probably are finding ways to speed up prison sentences, but still have
the same effects.
Well, it seems kind of archaic the way that we do it, kind of.
It's like, this guy's in there for 50 years, nothing ever had.
It's like-
Yeah.
He goes through all these boards, and it's never, you know-
So long.
And it's just, like, such a drain on the system.
It's just-
I'd love to find out more about that, like, because I know a lot of it is just,
like, some kind of money laundering thing, you know?
Yeah.
Have you ever been to a prison?
I don't think I have.
I've been to a jail.
What's the difference?
I've never been to a prison.
A jail's just, like, a little gay-ass prison.
Nobody's even getting gayed out or whatever in it.
It's just people waiting for lunch and shit.
People waiting for dick.
Jails are local short-term facilities for those awaiting trial or serving
sentences.
You can't even find a gang in a jail, you know?
You can find, like, one dude that'll, like-
Like a pen pal to another gang?
Yeah, you can find one dude who might fucking slip half a Hershey's under your
door at night or whatever.
But there's no long-term institution there.
Those are more for prisons.
Yeah, because they do, like, so many, like, tours.
Like, when you go to different cities and you want to see, like, where Elvis
lives or something.
Like, I think they should tour jails for income.
Like, I'm just curious what's going on in there.
Like, I want to do an episode of Scared Straight, but, like, I just want to see
what's going on.
Like, I'm just curious.
Like, if there was a jail live stream on Twitch, I would watch every day.
It's just like, it's-
You never hear about anything there, so to watch it, it almost feels illegal.
Well, there's a lot of shows about it now that people-
I mean, people are into those types of-
Into that type of viewing, I think, for sure, dude.
I don't know if I'd be good in jail, dude.
I wouldn't.
No?
I'd fucking hate it.
Unless my cellmate, like, had an-
We could start a little band or something.
I don't think I would be that good in there.
If I had something to look forward to as, like, a group or whatever.
Yeah.
What would you do if you got approached by gang members?
I'd have to join.
Yeah.
What are you going to say?
You could say, let me think about it for a day or two, but they're only going
to probably
give you two days.
Yeah, I would treat it like I was a record label and I was a rapper.
I'm just seeing what other offers I get.
I think I would blind myself for something, so nobody's going to hurt a blind
guy, I think.
Dude, I feel like, unfortunately, that's the number one target.
I think so?
Because you can't snitch, so, like, what did he feel like?
Knuckles.
Yeah.
Oh.
I don't know.
I don't know.
That'd be scary to me.
Because, I don't know, man.
I guess, yeah, you'd have to join a gang.
I would probably go Mexican gang.
I feel like it might be, the food might be better.
I don't know.
I don't know if black gangs are making food in there.
I don't know.
What's the worst gang to join in there?
Prison gangs in the United States.
Aryan Brotherhood, Black Guerrilla Mafia, Mexican Mafia, La Nuestra Familia,
Texas Syndicate.
That sounds kind of like new and novel.
All these sound like a really good, like, NFL league.
And then Natas.
Or the XFL.
Oh, yeah.
All versus.
If they bring the XFL back, start with these teams.
The Tennessee type shit, dude.
Put them in there.
The Tennessee fightings.
Dude, they should have more.
They got to start putting these people into teams, doing something.
There's got to be a better way to.
It's all going to happen, man.
Everything's merging.
Everything's getting weird.
Yes, it's all becoming Long John Silvers and Baskin Robbins, dude.
There's no, it's all becoming the Army fans.
It's all starting to merge.
We're going to start to see this kind of stuff a lot, you know.
But I think they should take all the inmates and, like, give them some athletic
thing to look forward to.
And then they can stream it.
It's like, I would absolutely watch the Texas Syndicate versus the Puerto Ricans.
Oh, yeah.
If you had a basketball game tonight.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, there was a lot of New Eastern Familia versus the Aryan Brotherhood at 9
p.m.
First one to 11.
No three-pointers.
Dude, I would fucking watch that in a heartbeat.
I feel like the A-B is only hitting threes.
They're not doing the work and the paint.
It beats the big three fucking league in a heartbeat.
But you should put one of these leagues into the big three league.
They got to start to just diversify.
But I'm saying, like, if these guys even just play, like, that might bring some
unity.
It's like UFC.
They talk shit before the fight.
Then after the game, they, like, dap up.
They're like, I'm nothing more respectful of this guy.
I love this guy.
Maybe there could be some of that where, like, if they're playing each other,
they're shit-talking.
Sure.
But afterwards, like, hey, type shit, type shit.
Type shit.
And then they can stream it.
And you could watch it on, like, Rumble or wherever, Paramount Plus or
something.
But, like, I feel like.
Oh, yeah.
Nick Foyntes would host it probably.
I mean, I think he would probably do it.
Thank you.

Theo and Trevor Wallace Ponder Life in Jail

You saw 6ix9ine. He's going to the same prison as Maduro. Did you see that?
He's in there with Luigi, Diddy, Maduro.
I don't know if that's true, but I saw it on a meme.
That's crazy.
But I guess it makes sense they keep mauling the same prison.
Let me see what this 6ix9ine Maduro is.
Arrested President Maduro and his wife.
That's crazy, right?
So it's a mad thing. So I got the call.
I love how he's doing PR for jail.
He's doing a podcast run to promote jail.
Somebody texted me saying that they think that when they send me to prison on
Tuesday,
me and Maduro is going to be in the same unit.
But do you think he's going to prison for PR?
What charges is he there for?
That's a great question. What charges is he there for?
I wonder if he'd be a good guest whenever he gets out, you think?
Yeah. Have you ever met him?
Mm-mm. I never met him.
Rapper Takashi 6ix9ine has faced various charges, primarily stemming from his
association with the Nine Trey Bloods.
What's he going to jail for right now?
And jail sentence in early 2026.
Received another three-month sentence for new violations, including having
cocaine and ecstasy in his Miami home and punching a man who taunted him.
Well, sometimes you got to do that.
But damn, yeah, I think it could be interesting just to see what his life is
like and stuff.
They should give him, like, a Twitch stream from jail.
Yeah.
If he's on a run here.
I'll tell you what, if I was in jail, the first thing I'm doing is buying one
of those phones out of another dude's ass, which might be the worst convenience
store ever.
I'm buying the phone out of another dude's ass.
Well, here's the thing.
You put your money in his hand and whatever comes out of his ass is yours.
I think that's usually how those kind of, like...
It is very true.
Oh, dude, it's...
Isn't that funny?
And it's usually the first thing out because you kind of have to give a...
Like, you don't usually have a ton of money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, fuck.
He's got one item in there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If he's got two, then that boy is into a different pleasure.
No, I think you can tickle each guy to kind of see if you can guess...
Holy shit.
That's how you rob a human vending machine.
Yeah.
They got an androids.
But I think the first thing I would do if I was in jail, because I don't know
how they
get internet or Wi-Fi, but, like, I'll see, like, live TikToks in jail
sometimes.
Yeah, Drewski has all those guys doing that.
He's always looped in with, like, a lot of, like, it looks kind of like boys to
men, sort
of like...
It looks like an acapella group that went to jail.
Right, right, right.
You know, and they're all wearing sheisties and shit, and they're all in there.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't need the sheisties.
You're already in jail.
But I think I would immediately try to start an OF account.
I would be like, I'm already in jail.
Like, I would just J-O.
I would just beat my shit every night in my cell.
Oh, I don't know.
I think you get tired of that.
You want to start reading, dude.
Trust me.
Let me just tell you.
After a couple nights, you're going to want to just...
If I was in jail.
You're going to want to tap into a good book.
But just if I wanted to raise enough money to pay for my bail.
Oh, for sure.
If I'm in jail and I want to get out.
Yeah, no, no, no.
I hear you.
I think that's always the answer.
But if I'm in jail and I'm trying to meet my bail, and I need, like, 50K, I don't
know what the crime would be.
Type shit.
Well, I just feel like everything is going to start merging.
They're going to have to start funding.
Like, if the government can't keep things going, everything is going to have to
be started
to be funded kind of privately or by people or by, like, you know, so I wouldn't
be surprised
if you start to see, like, Twitch streams from jail.
I wouldn't be surprised if you start to see, like, um, the army, uh, or the
military start
to, like, have stream or have, um, content, right?
Like, I just think that that stuff's going to kind of grow a lot, you know?
Like, I'll be on TikTok live just, and it'll just pop up.
And there's, like, always, and if you're chronically online, you've seen this,
on TikTok, they'll
just show, like, a bar.
Like, it's just, like, behind the bartender, and he's just working, and there's
just a bar.
Yeah.
For what?
And they're, like, monetizing that.
They're just showing security camera of places.
Yeah.
And just getting money from it.
Oh, dude, I used to watch, like, uh, these, like, in, like, different funerals
from different
countries.
Like, you could watch, like, Indian funerals and stuff, and they'd have streams
of it,
and, like, on YouTube, or, like, just long clips of it.
Yeah.
You could just watch, like, it's, it's, it's neat to have kind of, like, um,
just, like,
a thing you can just watch.
It just blows my mind, like, the effect of live.
Like, if somebody was like, hey, here's a 20-minute video, I bet I don't want
to watch
that, but they're like, here's a stream, you'll end up watching 20 minutes,
like, in the blink
of an eye.
Well, let's go a little bit more to that prison.
Who else was in there?
Who else has been in there?
Is there any articles on it?
Is Hezbollah in there?
Hall of Fame.
Was he in or out of jail?
He's, he's got those RICO charges.
Hezbollah?
Yeah, doesn't he?
He has a twin sister, you know that?
No, I didn't know this.
Hezbollah has a twin sister?
Yes, Hezbollah Magomedov was arrested in his native Dagestan in May 2023 for
traffic violations.
Of course.
And he, he couldn't reach the pedals.
Yeah, what are we even talking about?
Including blocking a road and doing donuts with friends while celebrating a
wedding.
Bro, put him in a Waymo and call it a day.
First of all, you have to know that if he gets into a car, he just shut the
road down for
a couple minutes.
Unless it's a Fisher-Price, what car was he whipping in?
He was released under house arrest after being granted bail and had to wear an
ankle monitor
around his neck.
No way.
They just turned him into a Rottweiler.
Do you think being on house arrest-
I made that part up.
He later apologized for the incident, stating he wasn't driving and promised it
wouldn't
happen again.
I love that in their country, there's such a code of honor, you can just at
least promise
that it won't happen again.
That's awesome.
I mean, do you think being on a house arrest as a smaller person is like, nice?
I bet it's kind of nice, especially for a busy guy like him, because he gets,
you know,
he just gets a little bit of time to himself.
Al Sharpton's locked up.
Notable inmates that have been held at MDC Brooklyn.
Oh, oh, oh, have been.
Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn has gained significant notoriety for
housing
in an unusually high concentration of high-profile federal defendants,
including Maduro, Luigi,
Mangione, Diddy, R. Kelly, Sam Bankman-Fried, El Chapo, Michael Cohen, Ghislaine
Maxwell,
Martin Shkreli, and Al Sharpton.
Wow.
If you care, it's Sam Bankman-Fried.
Sam Bankman-Fried.
I just thought it was funny that he named him, like his two last names were the
two things
that he was.
He was like this bank man, and then he was also fried all the time.
That's right there.
So to me, it was like the most perfect-
He's in jail for-
What did he do again?
He might be out now.
Sam Bankman-
I think he's still in there.
Was convicted and sentenced to 25 years in prison while for orchestrating
massive fraud
at his crypto exchange, FTC, found guilty of seven counts, including wire fraud,
conspiracy
to commit fraud.
Yep, he's in there.
So he'll be in there for a while.
I feel like the NFT people are kind of-
Like, NFTs got so swept under the rug, but there were so many people who pulled
massive
money from that, and just kind of-
They made, like, NFC, like, clubs, and NFC, like-
And then that all just disappeared.
Yeah, and nobody talks about it.
Did you see the new-
This is the new way that they're thinking that incarceration could happen?
This is with AI and technology.
This is fascinating.
See if you can find that story of the pods.
What is this?
Yes.
The future of incarceration.
This is no longer about us, honestly.
I think it's too late.
But it's about our generations to come.
Your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren.
There is a company called Cognify.
If you Google it and watch their video, and it's the future of incarceration,
is what it's
titled.
With this Cognify system, let's say you do a crime, or maybe you act out
against the government,
or you have a belief system that is not consistent with the country that you
live in, and you
are prosecuted for a crime.
By their definition, you will then get an opportunity to choose.
Let's just use this for hypothetical.
A measly petty theft.
You can spend 50 years in prison, or you can go through the Cognify process,
which in three
minutes, they will imprint memory sets.
So let's say there was someone who was even harmed by the crime that you did.
You will be able to feel the emotions of your victim, the emotions that the
family members
went through, all of that.
You will be forced to have the empathy.
And you will feel like you've been imprisoned for 25 years, or whatever it may
be, but it's
only three minutes.
Fuck that.
They need that shit for when my girlfriend comes up to me after she had her
period the
next day and goes, I'm so sorry about last night.
I'm on my period.
Okay, well, you need to feel what I was feeling last night for getting yelled
at.
Get into the Cognify machine.
But dude, eventually, if they have an at-home one, that'd be crazy.
But this is saying-
This is like reverse icebathing.
Like, sit in this and feel awful about yourself.
But this is saying that if you did a crime, and if you could have- I'm guessing
it's probably
something you'd have to afford.
If you could afford Cognify, then you'd be able to go and serve your sentence
in Cognify.
You would have all the things that would really feel like in your brain had
happened.
And in five minutes, you could do 20 years.
That's so fascinating, because like, one, you could pay off the guy who hits
the buttons.
And then there's like, all right, here we go.
And then you're like, oh, ooh, ow.
Oh, no, it's hurting.
Well, I mean, I think- here it says, Cognify is a futuristic prison concept
proposed by scientist
Hashem Al-Gai-Gai-Gai.
He's the newest member of FaZe Clan, by the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He does.
That uses AI and brain implants to replace long sentences with brief, intense
rehabilitation.
So it's almost like an EMDR, but extremely deep into your brain.
AI-generated memories, artificial, vivid memories are created by AI to simulate
the impact of a crime on victims.
Dude, this would be crazy.
Inmates experience years of remorse and understanding in a short time allowing
for quicker release and reintegration.
I mean, it kind of makes sense, because that's what you're supposed to be there
for.
I just wonder how long would that stay, you know?
And what if you just go into prison for, like, a little while, and it's just a
bunch of- you don't learn anything.
It's just a bunch of dudes that's run a train on you or whatever.
That would be my scary thing.
That's what I'm saying, like, you use up for three minutes, and now you're just
limping.
Yeah, dude.
What if you get out, and you're like- and then your wife lies.
She's like, yeah, I left while you were gone.
You were gone so long.
You're like-
I was gone for two songs on Spotify.
Yeah, dude.
Well, that's the interesting part.
What the fuck?
And your son's like, yeah, we have a new stepdad.
You're like, what?
Bro, that would be the scary thing, is what if they just bring you back and
like, oh, yeah, man, you just got a couple of MS-13 guys got a hold of you, and
now you're like El Gay or whatever.
And that would be the scariest part to me, bro.
The crazy part is like, if they're doing this in three minutes, it's like, you
leave your house at 10 a.m.
You're like, oh, I committed this crime.
I'm so 