Name: Stan the Chauffeur's Advice on Love and Romance
Uploaded: 2026-01-31T15:01:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stan the Chauffeur's Advice on Love and Romance' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stan the Chauffeur's Advice on Love and Romance' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-31. Transcript available.

Has that ever been a tough thing in your relationships?
Because you said you had two wives.
What's caused some of those to go astray?
What have you struggled with in relationships, do you think, man?
Because you were good when you were a chauffeur, right?
You were good when you were an operator.
I'm in control, right?
That's a control situation.
I'm the one who's running everything.
It's my way, kind of, and the highway.
Well, that's something that a lot of women have a problem with.
Especially, and I hate to say this, and y'all going to jump on me about this,
especially African-American women.
A large percentage of our African-American women
have been raised in a household without a father.
So that dominating or that stand-up man is not there.
And they all say that they want one.
But when they run into a strong guy who's going to lead and speak,
they want to resist.
Oh, oh, you think you're my father.
You're trying to control me.
No, I'm not, darling.
No, I'm not.
I'm a man.
Lay low, wonk.
That's what they be yelling.
Lay low, wonk.
Yeah, men are leaders.
Allow me to lead.
Yeah.
You know, but a lot of African-American women, that's not in their household.
You know, you hear a lot of black women saying, oh, well, I don't need no man.
Come on, y'all.
Let's stop that.
Because that filters down to the kids.
Now, you hear your boy, excuse me, your son hears you all the time saying, oh,
well, I don't want no man.
I don't need no man.
Then what do you think that does to him?
That lowers his self-esteem and that makes you raise a weak man.
You know, your daughters pick up on that same mindset.
I don't need no man.
And they grow up being resistant, you know, to guys trying to lead them.
And see, that's a world that I don't know about, you know, because it's not
part of, you know, it's part of my universe because I live in the universe.
But it's not part of, like, my world.
I don't have a lot of experience in that space.
But you've struggled in marriage and stuff.
Like, what is it, like, how do you think, if you look back on your own life,
you could have been better at being somebody who loves?
Okay.
Or is love?
First wife.
I was streetwise, running in the street, hanging on Washington Avenue.
Were you wearing jerseys and shit like that?
No, no, no.
I've never been a jersey dude.
I'm always just, just, just nice.
You know, I've never been one to wear.
Waring cologne back then or what?
Yes.
Yeah.
What kind?
At first, it was Lagerfeld.
And now, like these glasses, it's Prada.
Bring up that Lagerfeld.
Let me get a little look at that bottle.
Call Lagerfeld.
You know, like.
Bring up that shit, that splash.
Bingo.
The original.
The classic.
The classic, baby.
Man.
That splash, baby.
I remember growing up.
Big Stan got that splash on it.
One of my older brothers, a guy named Tony Purnell that I really love, right?
I would put on like my Lagerfeld and T would say, yo, ice.
Because that's my nickname in the Bronx.
Yo, man.
That stuff got you smell like a wet paper bag, man.
Take that off.
But the women would be doing things like, whoo, who's wearing that?
And I'd be going, A-O-T.
See?
See?
And Tony would be going, yo, yo, yo, ice.
But I don't need that to pull him.
And my man TP used to pull him.
Hey.
He ain't need no Lagerfeld.
He ain't need no Lagerfeld, huh?
Look at that cologne, baby.
That's the bird seed.
And that brings, I have them flocking over, bro.
That's how it is, man.
But now it's Prada.
I love that Prada.
And these glasses, this is my second pair of Pradas.
And as you see, they are a little injured because, like, my first pair of Pradas,
my dogs got to my Prada glasses.
They destroyed them.
So I bought these.
Then, yes, Snowy got to these again one day.
She chewed off the side hair, bit on my lenses, but didn't dig this, y'all.
I do have a brand new pair of Prada glasses at the house.
Type shit.
I just have not had the prescription put in there yet.
Type shit, man.
That's all.
Yeah, that's it, man.
Nobody's judging that.
But I feel you.
You got to tell them you got to preach that exactly.
Oh, yeah.
What advice do you have to young men out there who's starting out on their path
if they could look back on your path and do something different, bro?
Or what have you learned in your life so far, man?
Because you're at an interesting spot, right?
You are entering that third trimester of your life, right?
And it's really, it's kind of like the master class of life in a lot of ways.
That's when you can give the best advice.
Yeah, when you have at least the most experience to share from.
Like I'll tell anybody.
The street, leave it alone.
It's a lie.
It's a lie.
You young guys, y'all want that street credibility?
It's a lie.
You want to sell drugs?
It's a lie.
You'll end up in jail, okay?
You will end up killing your own dreams.
This is what you do.
You stay in school.
Get that education, y'all.
Go to college.
Get that education.
I mean, like I told my son, Ricky, when he was telling me he didn't want to be
a nerd.
I said to him, why, Ricky?
I told him, that's why I made my mistake, okay?
Because I wanted to be in with the in crowd, okay?
I got tired of being teased, picked on, called the professor, the scientist.
So what did I do?
I started being with the bad kids.
I started dropping my grades.
I told my son, Ricky, it's okay to be a nerd, all right?
And he's like, nerd?
I said, Bill Gates, okay?
Bill Gates was a nerd.
Look at Bill Gates now.
People who picked on him, the girls who laughed at him, the guys who threw
stuff at him.
They're trying to download his dick right now.
They would love for him to at least read a resume.
It's okay to be a nerd.
You're right.
Them bitches trying to download his dick right now.
My son, he's in Spain.
Shout out Ricky, man.
He's a handsome kid, nice kid.
Yes.
Y'all, he looks just like me.
He's just a younger, smarter, better-looking version.
You know, I mean.
Amen, bro.
He's in Spain.
He's been there for almost three years now.
He's getting a master's in Spanish and Spanish culture.
Like I told Ricky, you do that, man.
I mean, you know, you get those degrees.
I told him, I got five years taking law classes, y'all.
No degree.
Ricky, get your degrees, man.
Get your shit, Ricky.
You know?
Get your shit, Ricky.
We need that, man.
And he's not a street dude.
He's a good guy.
Amen.
You know?
I want to ask this, man.
And blessings to Ricky and your children, Stan.
What do the ladies need most, man?
If you want to keep a lady, you think?
What do the ladies need most, you think?
If I want to keep one, what do they need most?
One, trust.
Trust.
I don't understand that during the course of my life, the serious relationships
that
I've had, and I do understand when people explain to me that my personality has
caused
issues because I'm a friendly guy, I'm a talkative guy, I like to smile, and I'm
a handsome guy.
So a lot of times women...
You look like Randy Moss.
People tell you that a lot?
No.
I've heard...
Samuel L. Jackson.
Different type of dudes, man.
My thing is, I'm a social guy.
Gerald Laverde.
Anybody ever say that?
No.
I have a flirtatious personality.
Oh, yeah, you do.
So that will cause...
That don't help with relationships, man.
No, it doesn't, and I can't help it because I'm a social guy.
I mean, I love people, I like to talk, I try to keep the flirting down to a
minimum,
especially if I'm involved with somebody, but y'all, I'm a Scorpio.
Can't help it.
We out there.
It's ingrained in us.
It's in us, man.
And I'm not even a Scorpio.
But how about this?
People say the bedroom plays a big part of the life and the relationships.
Do you believe that that's true or not?
Yes, it does.
It does because I'm 60 now.
I'll be 61.
There's changes going on in my body.
I'm not as strong as I once was.
You know, like in boxing.
One time there was 15-round prize fights.
Now they're 12 rounds.
You know, my body's beginning to fail.
It's, you know, it's different.
And that causes problems.
Oh, yeah.
My shit's a Jake Paul fight.
My shit will take a fall in the second round.
You feel me?
You know, I mean, I'm getting older.
So the body's acting different.
But the experience kicks in.
Okay.
The experience kicks in.
What's your biggest sexual move if you had to think physically?
If you had to even...
My biggest sexual move or sexual act?
Yeah, probably act maybe or just ability.
Put it like this.
For example, I love to eat fruit.
I love to eat fruit.
Especially my little baby.
I mean, I remember in the past, I've had...
I've made women speak alien.
Forget speaking a foreign dialect, y'all.
I've made them speak alien, okay?
They don't even know what the hell they even said.
You know, and we get past that.
We just laugh.
I stop and go, what was that you said?
I don't even know.
Just go on and finish, okay?
Dang.
You know?
You out here duolico.
Man.
Duolingo, duolico, homie.
You out there teaching...
You teaching new languages, Stan.
Man, make them speak alien, man.
That's it, bro.
You know?
Yeah.
That's it, boy.
Exactly.
I've had some passages that I was talking to one day.
It was an old couple.
Old couple.
And I was talking about my multiple failed marriages.
And they set me up, y'all.
And the lady said to me, oh, let me guess.
You did your 50%.
They did their 50%, right?
And I'm all proud.
I'm like, yeah, but it still went wrong.
And they said to me, you know what?
That's where you effed up.
I mean, this old couple, they started getting aggressive.
They told me that I was supposed to do 100%,
and she was supposed to do 100%.
And that's where people mess up.
And they had been together.
They were in the 80s or so.
All their life.
They told me 100%, 100%.
You know?
Yeah, it's interesting because you think about it differently, kind of.
That's a different approach to a marriage to a day.
Yeah.
Oh, just because now there's two of us.
We each have to do 59.
Now there's two of us.
We both get to do 100.
They said, you have to do 100% all the time.
That's beautiful, man.
You know?
And another thing they told me, the man told me, he told me to tell her, yes,
dear, twice as much as you say no, dear.
Have you ever driven any Asian people or anything like that?
No, I haven't had any Asians.
I've had athletes, entertainers, some very, very, very rich people over the
years, regular people.
I really love the common man.
Oh, yeah.
I love the, you know, like the Saturday night people, you know, those that are
looking to have a good time.
Especially South Carolina, man.
You got, they got such a good energy over there.
Yeah.
You know, because you almost got, you got the palmettoes kind of milling around.
You got big energy over there.
You got the beach not too far away.
You know, I mean, from North and South Carolina, they have a good location
because you have the beach,
whether it's Myrtle Beach, let's see, Charleston, you know, you have Fayetteville
that you figure two,
three hours away going east.
Then you have two, three hours away going west.
You begin to go into the mountains in North and South Carolina.
You go a little further.
You're over here in Tennessee.
I mean, it's great.
We don't get snow.
You know, we don't really have to worry too much about the hurricanes.
I mean, it's great.
But you definitely have to worry about mosquitoes.
And you got to worry about these bad bitches pulling up.
Man, they got the women down here.
The South has the women.
And since the weather's a little warmer, you know, the women wear a little less.
You know, make a man burn out his retina or something, man.
I know, bro.
That's why you got them glasses.
Detach a cornea looking at them, man.
You know?
Ow, bro.
I thought you hurt my own neck.
That's what really happened.
That's why you had that thing.
Oh, you hurt your neck.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
That's like, I tell people since I have this fused neck, I be telling them, man,
hey, my neck is on a swivel.
I mean, it's like this now.
That's another thing that is good for the ladies.
I got a metal neck, brother.
Oof.
Yeah, man.
We going to be, yeah.
I got a metal neck.
You know?
Hey, you got time, miss?
We going to be here for a while.
Yeah, I got that.
Oh, here come old metal neck.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
You know?
Like, God dang, that's like just attaching your kitten to a little hitching
pose, baby.
Here come old metal neck.
Put some money in the meter.
Man.
We going to be here.
See, four, five, six, seven, and eight.
It's all fused.
It's titanium.
But most people, they don't have this type of mobility.
I mean, most people with this much surgery, they're a little messed up.
Yeah.
Not this though.
For some reason, nah, man.
I mean, the only thing that I can't do is hardcore things.
I don't lift up stuff.
I can't run because my back is fused.
But I'm 60, 61.
I'm not playing basketball no more.
So where am I running?
You're chilling, bro.
Right.
Yeah.
All you're doing is running into your future, Stan.
And that's what sounds exciting.
What I do love, man, is that you're still excited about your life.
You're excited about your future.
You're excited about like, you know, love, making love, continuing to have love
out of
the people you have in your life or the possibility of new love coming into
your life, man.
That's what life's about, man.
And I think that's one thing that just your energy is, it's infectious, man.
It's electric, y'all.
Yeah.
Thank you.

Stan the Chauffeur's Advice on Love and Romance

Has that ever been a tough thing in your relationships?
Because you said you had two wives.
What's caused some of those to go astray?
What have you struggled with in relationships, do you think, man?
Because you were good when you were a chauffeur, right?
You were good when you were an operator.
I'm in control, right?
That's a control situation.
I'm the one who's running everything.
It's my way, kind of, and the highway.
Well, that's something that a lot of women have a problem with.
Especially, and I hate to say this, and y'all going to jump on me about this,
especially African-American women.
A large percentage of our African-American women
have been raised in a household without a father.
So that dominating or that stand-up man is not there.
And they all say that they want one.
But when they run into a strong guy who's going to lead and speak,
they want to resist.
Oh, oh, you think you're my father.
You're trying to control me.
No, I'm not, darling.
No, I'm not.
I'm a man.
Lay low, wonk.
That's what they be yelling.
Lay low, wonk.
Yeah, men are leaders.
Allow me to lead.
Yeah.
You know, but a lot of African-American women, that's not in their household.
You know, you hear a lot of black women saying, oh, well, I don't need no man.
Come on, y'all.
Let's stop that.
Because that filters down to the kids.
Now, you hear your boy, excuse me, your son hears you all the time saying, oh,
well, I don't want no man.
I don't need no man.
Then what do you think that does to him?
That lowers his self-esteem and that makes you raise a weak man.
You know, your daughters pick up on that same mindset.
I don't need no man.
And they grow up being resistant, you know, to guys trying to lead them.
And see, that's a world that I don't know about, you know, because it's not
part of, you know, it's part of my universe because I live in the universe.
But it's not part of, like, my world.
I don't have a lot of experience in that space.
But you've struggled in marriage and stuff.
Like, what is it, like, how do you think, if you look back on your own life,
you could have been better at being somebody who loves?
Okay.
Or is love?
First wife.
I was streetwise, running in the street, hanging on Washington Avenue.
Were you wearing jerseys and shit like that?
No, no, no.
I've never been a jersey dude.
I'm always just, just, just nice.
You know, I've never been one to wear.
Waring cologne back then or what?
Yes.
Yeah.
What kind?
At first, it was Lagerfeld.
And now, like these glasses, it's Prada.
Bring up that Lagerfeld.
Let me get a little look at that bottle.
Call Lagerfeld.
You know, like.
Bring up that shit, that splash.
Bingo.
The original.
The classic.
The classic, baby.
Man.
That splash, baby.
I remember growing up.
Big Stan got that splash on it.
One of my older brothers, a guy named Tony Purnell that I really love, right?
I would put on like my Lagerfeld and T would say, yo, ice.
Because that's my nickname in the Bronx.
Yo, man.
That stuff got you smell like a wet paper bag, man.
Take that off.
But the women would be doing things like, whoo, who's wearing that?
And I'd be going, A-O-T.
See?
See?
And Tony would be going, yo, yo, yo, ice.
But I don't need that to pull him.
And my man TP used to pull him.
Hey.
He ain't need no Lagerfeld.
He ain't need no Lagerfeld, huh?
Look at that cologne, baby.
That's the bird seed.
And that brings, I have them flocking over, bro.
That's how it is, man.
But now it's Prada.
I love that Prada.
And these glasses, this is my second pair of Pradas.
And as you see, they are a little injured because, like, my first pair of Pradas,
my dogs got to my Prada glasses.
They destroyed them.
So I bought these.
Then, yes, Snowy got to these again one day.
She chewed off the side hair, bit on my lenses, but didn't dig this, y'all.
I do have a brand new pair of Prada glasses at the house.
Type shit.
I just have not had the prescription put in there yet.
Type shit, man.
That's all.
Yeah, that's it, man.
Nobody's judging that.
But I feel you.
You got to tell them you got to preach that exactly.
Oh, yeah.
What advice do you have to young men out there who's starting out on their path
if they could look back on your path and do something different, bro?
Or what have you learned in your life so far, man?
Because you're at an interesting spot, right?
You are entering that third trimester of your life, right?
And it's really, it's kind of like the master class of life in a lot of ways.
That's when you can give the best advice.
Yeah, when you have at least the most experience to share from.
Like I'll tell anybody.
The street, leave it alone.
It's a lie.
It's a lie.
You young guys, y'all want that street credibility?
It's a lie.
You want to sell drugs?
It's a lie.
You'll end up in jail, okay?
You will end up killing your own dreams.
This is what you do.
You stay in school.
Get that education, y'all.
Go to college.
Get that education.
I mean, like I told my son, Ricky, when he was telling me he didn't want to be
a nerd.
I said to him, why, Ricky?
I told him, that's why I made my mistake, okay?
Because I wanted to be in with the in crowd, okay?
I got tired of being teased, picked on, called the professor, the scientist.
So what did I do?
I started being with the bad kids.
I started dropping my grades.
I told my son, Ricky, it's okay to be a nerd, all right?
And he's like, nerd?
I said, Bill Gates, okay?
Bill Gates was a nerd.
Look at Bill Gates now.
People who picked on him, the girls who laughed at him, the guys who threw
stuff at him.
They're trying to download his dick right now.
They would love for him to at least read a resume.
It's okay to be a nerd.
You're right.
Them bitches trying to download his dick right now.
My son, he's in Spain.
Shout out Ricky, man.
He's a handsome kid, nice kid.
Yes.
Y'all, he looks just like me.
He's just a younger, smarter, better-looking version.
You know, I mean.
Amen, bro.
He's in Spain.
He's been there for almost three years now.
He's getting a master's in Spanish and Spanish culture.
Like I told Ricky, you do that, man.
I mean, you know, you get those degrees.
I told him, I got five years taking law classes, y'all.
No degree.
Ricky, get your degrees, man.
Get your shit, Ricky.
You know?
Get your shit, Ricky.
We need that, man.
And he's not a street dude.
He's a good guy.
Amen.
You know?
I want to ask this, man.
And blessings to Ricky and your children, Stan.
What do the ladies need most, man?
If you want to keep a lady, you think?
What do the ladies need most, you think?
If I want to keep one, what do they need most?
One, trust.
Trust.
I don't understand that during the course of my life, the serious relationships
that
I've had, and I do understand when people explain to me that my personality has
caused
issues because I'm a friendly guy, I'm a talkative guy, I like to smile, and I'm
a handsome guy.
So a lot of times women...
You look like Randy Moss.
People tell you that a lot?
No.
I've heard...
Samuel L. Jackson.
Different type of dudes, man.
My thing is, I'm a social guy.
Gerald Laverde.
Anybody ever say that?
No.
I have a flirtatious personality.
Oh, yeah, you do.
So that will cause...
That don't help with relationships, man.
No, it doesn't, and I can't help it because I'm a social guy.
I mean, I love people, I like to talk, I try to keep the flirting down to a
minimum,
especially if I'm involved with somebody, but y'all, I'm a Scorpio.
Can't help it.
We out there.
It's ingrained in us.
It's in us, man.
And I'm not even a Scorpio.
But how about this?
People say the bedroom plays a big part of the life and the relationships.
Do you believe that that's true or not?
Yes, it does.
It does because I'm 60 now.
I'll be 61.
There's changes going on in my body.
I'm not as strong as I once was.
You know, like in boxing.
One time there was 15-round prize fights.
Now they're 12 rounds.
You know, my body's beginning to fail.
It's, you know, it's different.
And that causes problems.
Oh, yeah.
My shit's a Jake Paul fight.
My shit will take a fall in the second round.
You feel me?
You know, I mean, I'm getting older.
So the body's acting different.
But the experience kicks in.
Okay.
The experience kicks in.
What's your biggest sexual move if you had to think physically?
If you had to even...
My biggest sexual move or sexual act?
Yeah, probably act maybe or just ability.
Put it like this.
For example, I love to eat fruit.
I love to eat fruit.
Especially my little baby.
I mean, I remember in the past, I've had...
I've made women speak alien.
Forget speaking a foreign dialect, y'all.
I've made them speak alien, okay?
They don't even know what the hell they even said.
You know, and we get past that.
We just laugh.
I stop and go, what was that you said?
I don't even know.
Just go on and finish, okay?
Dang.
You know?
You out here duolico.
Man.
Duolingo, duolico, homie.
You out there teaching...
You teaching new languages, Stan.
Man, make them speak alien, man.
That's it, bro.
You know?
Yeah.
That's it, boy.
Exactly.
I've had some passages that I was talking to one day.
It was an old couple.
Old couple.
And I was talking about my multiple failed marriages.
And they set me up, y'all.
And the lady said to me, oh, let me guess.
You did your 50%.
They did their 50%, right?
And I'm all proud.
I'm like, yeah, but it still went wrong.
And they said to me, you know what?
That's where you effed up.
I mean, this old couple, they started getting aggressive.
They told me that I was supposed to do 100%,
and she was supposed to do 100%.
And that's where people mess up.
And they had been together.
They were in the 80s or so.
All their life.
They told me 100%, 100%.
You know?
Yeah, it's interesting because you think about it differently, kind of.
That's a different approach to a marriage to a day.
Yeah.
Oh, just because now there's two of us.
We each have to do 59.
Now there's two of us.
We both get to do 100.
They said, you have to do 100% all the time.
That's beautiful, man.
You know?
And another thing they told me, the man told me, he told me to tell her, yes,
dear, twice as much as you say no, dear.
Have you ever driven any Asian people or anything like that?
No, I haven't had any Asians.
I've had athletes, entertainers, some very, very, very rich people over the
years, regular people.
I really love the common man.
Oh, yeah.
I love the, you know, like the Saturday night people, you know, those that are
looking to have a good time.
Especially South Carolina, man.
You got, they got such a good energy over there.
Yeah.
You know, because you almost got, you got the palmettoes kind of milling around.
You got big energy over there.
You got the beach not too far away.
You know, I mean, from North and South Carolina, they have a good location
because you have the beach,
whether it's Myrtle Beach, let's see, Charleston, you know, you have Fayetteville
that you figure two,
three hours away going east.
Then you have two, three hours away going west.
You begin to go into the mountains in North and South Carolina.
You go a little further.
You're over here in Tennessee.
I mean, it's great.
We don't get snow.
You know, we don't really have to worry too much about the hurricanes.
I mean, it's great.
But you definitely have to worry about mosquitoes.
And you got to worry about these bad bitches pulling up.
Man, they got the women down here.
The South has the women.
And since the weather's a little warmer, you know, the women wear a little less.
You know, make a man burn out his retina or something, man.
I know, bro.
That's why you got them glasses.
Detach a cornea looking at them, man.
You know?
Ow, bro.
I thought you hurt my own neck.
That's what really happened.
That's why you had that thing.
Oh, you hurt your neck.
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
That's like, I tell people since I have this fused neck, I be telling them, man,
hey, my neck is on a swivel.
I mean, it's like this now.
That's another thing that is good for the ladies.
I got a metal neck, brother.
Oof.
Yeah, man.
We going to b