Name: Fast Food Conspiracies (w/ Trevor Wallace)
Uploaded: 2026-02-03T16:30:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fast Food Conspiracies (w/ Trevor Wallace)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fast Food Conspiracies (w/ Trevor Wallace)' from Theo Von Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-03. Transcript available.

yeah things got scary last year when they shot charlie kirk that probably
scared everybody who
even gets on a stage i think was probably scared you know dude i was at the
comedy store i have a
clip of this i might post it i'll show it to you see if it's good or not but a
balloon popped on
new year's i was at the store and my first words i thought i just got kirked
and uh it got it got
a big pop but it's one of those things it's like do i post it and then the
internet's like oh well
now here we go with it yeah now and i'm like no i think it's fine bro oh okay
yeah i think it's
like i mean but then i talk about erica and her eyesight and like that that's
when it goes like
a little like i think you have to joke about it like i start thinking of things
to talk about about
stuff like that i mean it's just but yeah i think all that made people kind of
spooked it was like
what's going on and then it doesn't seem like the investigation you're like
what's really happening
here and there's like they show the kid at a dairy queen or something it's like
he's wearing different
stuff and the biggest thing is like i think this might have been put on by
dairy queen like there's
no way that they didn't put a bid in to some bigger picture to be like listen
blizzards aren't doing
the numbers they used to do like but but think about that any okay now i'm
getting real conspiracy in
here but any fast food place he goes to their sales are gonna go up people
watch this and we're like
yo i low-key want a blizzard right now yeah for sure if fucking jack-in-the-box
did this shit and he
ate two tacos bro that's it well dude i'm fucking sick of this planet get me
off this bitch dude if
baskin robbins did this they would have 32 flavors oh they'd have oh i'd bring
the choco taco back to
taco bell i'd make a new flavor form in the back homie that's what i want dude
that's what that twink
dude if that would happen out of ben and jerry's they would have had it oh they
would have that
flavor quick dude how do they not have twink shooter twinkle twinkle little
star how do they not have
twink shooter uh ben and jerry's ice cream flavor dude that's the thing some of
these some of these food
companies have got to start to come out with foods that people can relate to it's
like how do they not
have that um the the rooftop gunners mcnugget or something you know like or
like and it's like a
little guy yeah maybe they serve them on a roof like you open up the thing and
there's a little roof in
there and they're all placed on there and one of them has a little pistol or
something dude the can
you can we pull up a is that crazy you think oh it's insane but can we pull up
a mcdonald's happy
meal it has kind of a roof in it that's what i'm talking about you know what i
mean and they put a
toy that but the fuck bro in pizza hut you don't even want to see a pizza hut
with the old with the
old motherfucking sombrero on it yes bro put a sniper on there and when papa
john said that word
they should have done a different specialty oh and papa john's you should when
you open one of the
boxes every day this is how they do it one magical box it has one of those
voice things in it that when
you open it card yeah it says the n-word and if you get that pizza you get it
free isn't that
interesting with no reward it's so fucked up it's so bad but then you get a
reward you're like this
is low-key willy wonka yeah all people want is a little bit of something extra
they want a little
bit of prize you know um i i'm you know the epstein files are out but i'm
excited for the wonka files
oh i think some weird shit was going down at willy wonka with galoris glunt or
whatever
kids trying to bitches into blueberries it's literally all children and little
people running around like
i feel like we're getting into some weird files that are going to drop soon the
wonka the wonka tapes
what the wonka tapes trevor wonka i start to see like weird business mergers
happening like we've had
like long john silvers and baskin robbins didn't they merger no who murdered
pizza and um and long
john silvers it's always the the bitches that can't pull their own on their own
you know what i mean
but first of all long john silvers shut it down yeah i mean that i mean
investigate their taxes that's a
drug fraud you thought shit was going on weird in minnesota with the somalis
let's investigate long john
silvers bro there's no catch of the day out in fucking midland texas the catch
of the day is the felon
that was working behind the fry the fry counter that's the catch is when he
leaves and the ankle monitor
goes up yeah type in long john silvers ceo if you don't mind oh long john silvers
right here um under companies
like you yum brands that's what they're called creating combined locations with
kfc pizza or taco
bell yeah that's the crap i just don't like that dude because i don't like
somebody you know they're
cooking fish on one on the grill and they're also cooking a burger taco bell
does it with a bunch it
might be talking about pizza hut you'll see those like randomly yeah like at
like uh and then they
stuff them in a gas station and it's yeah yeah yeah it's not the same none of
that shit's the same but
dude i could see an army fans dude can you see the army fans i could definitely
see it what who are
they like taking down like they're not fighting anybody it's just military
people to show in their
junk oh to make an extra buck i feel like or probably to fund our military i
feel like
i could just see that you know it's a good idea to fund the military yeah hold
on
why don't we do all these guys are jacked they work out 24 7 they might have
like a little bit of
like dirt or dust on their face from being at combat there's so many like
lonely women in
in the midwest well globally who are like that's hot yeah and the chance they
could do like uh
i don't know what uh i'm trying to think what their chance i've been told but
this but for six more
dollars you can see this whole yeah something like that like this bus he's
getting sold
that's what we need dude it's like left right left right but it's just somebody
showing their
different tits yes it's somebody that is a great way to fund the military i i i
think
because everything's going bankrupt so you're gonna have to find ways to fund
things this is what i've
been hearing is like yeah everywhere is bankrupt which blows my mind because
like
it's what what's like what we're not getting enough money and it's neither the
businesses
so who i know i can't even think about it it hurts my head it's getting weird
dude yeah i mean
everything's getting weird bro the current ceo of long john servers is nate fowler
who took over
from february 2025 succeeding blaine short reed who had served as ceo since
early 2021 i see a photo
of this guy yeah that's nate fowler he's a baller are we hoops
oh he looks like a nice guy he he looks like a nice guy he also looks like he's
never had long
john silverson's entire life he's like what are we serving here oh hell no hell
no well dude they
have that carp or whatever i'm like i'm not fucking parking and getting out of
my car park to carf
yeah i don't know there's something about i'm not getting carp through a drive-through
i'm just not
going in there to get any carp drive-through is the i think the downfall of
america i saw a skyline
chili in ohio with a drive-through i said if you're getting chili on the road
you might as well start
drinking you you you have a better chance to survive getting a dui than eating
hot spaghettios
in the back of a tundra oh and we start to sometimes we think like oh we're
americans we
deserve so much but then when you look at what we what we are willing to accept
just on a daily day
level for ourselves and i know some people they can't afford certain things and
i get that but
when you're willing to just pull up with your kids and just sit there and eat
chili in the car and
just just do gas on each other and do body gas on each other it's what are you
doing it's just come
to a point just because you're a bangles fan or whatever you don't say what are
we doing
fucking joe burrow playlock shit is here hey sack this
yeah it's so funny how americanize my brain obviously catch this t higgins and
your dad
just farts again you're like come on dad it's probably how it all starts that's
the warm up in
the locker room but it's so like this format is so normal to me that if i see a
place that doesn't
have a drive-through i'll be like off let me look like if i'm going to starbucks
i'm like oh this
starbucks doesn't have a drive-through let me find a drive-through starbucks
yeah that's a good
point all you gotta do is add a road and you up your sales oh dude a starbucks
on some places would be
so good on a nice steakhouse but you could wait like 40 minutes in line once
you put your order at
the sign if it's like a busy place oh yeah um yeah the mcrib they just said
this black folks are going
to be pissed what's inside of mcrib mcdonald's hit with class action lawsuit
claiming the sandwich
doesn't contain rib meat oh well tbd on that brother i'm gonna leave that up to
my more
chocolatey associates in the world because that's out of my jurisdiction
brother according to the
complaint that mcrib is actually made from restructured pork which combines
cuts such as
shoulder heart tripe and scalded stomach none of which qualify as rib meat that's
fair at least it's from a
pig i thought for sure that they were just like painting some some cow
different color but to just
do that to lie to a culture for so long saying it's rib i knew it wasn't rib
one of my friends lives and
dies by this thing my buddy scotty i'm like he's always sending me pictures of
him getting the mcrib
whenever it's back or whatever i'm like where did it go it didn't fucking yeah
what did they do
and they used to like i mean burt always used to talk about that burt kreish
would always talk about uh
how like crime would go up and the mcrib was gone or whatever i think it did
yeah i think this is
like a real americans like uh groundhog day yeah i feel like the mcrib is back
fine honey you're
getting a ring this year why don't more people bet on prize picks with fucking
the mcrib is it coming
mac and daniel yeah i don't know i mean um what blows my mind about fast food i
feel like i've
talked about it on this podcast before i don't know why but um what fucks me up
is you know the
grill marks on chicken not real grill it's just a little it's tattooed on what
do you mean on
chicken you mean on just regular chicken you buy yeah not not at like at uh if
you get a grilled
chicken from mcdonald's not breaded but grilled they have like grill marks on
it that's fake that's
it's like literally it's like a henna tattoo grill marks it's like a henna
tattoo yeah fast food
chicken are often fake created by industrial branding machines yeah oh god so
they do that for the
illusion that you're like this was on a grill oh yeah but i'm a suck i mean
like if i see i'm not
questioning it well this scene they but i don't think it's that they're not
doing that that's some
guy that's more work that's nicholas tesla making a chicken but if you if type
in like a mcdonald's
mcdonald's no i think it says it right there it's obvious man but i'm sure
there's a video where you
like erase it like i'm pretty sure have you ever wondered how frozen food
companies no get grill
marks on chicken that clearly wasn't cooked on a grill because it came out of a
factory well this
is how they do it there are wheels that are very hot that roll directly over
the chicken and leave them
continuously branded with grill marks now for six more dollars she would show
you a breast or something
at the end of that goes the military