Name: Make Your Own Motivation
Uploaded: 2018-09-12T20:30:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Make Your Own Motivation' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-09-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Make Your Own Motivation' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-09-12. Transcript available.

You know, I was thinking a lot about like motivation and stuff this weekend and
what, and what, where that comes from.
I was thinking about like in our time, like in my lifetimes, they've had, you
know, we've kind of lost, like you can't really fail anymore.
I mean, you can fail, but we've kind of built this society in America that,
that you'll be taken care of.
You know, like if you lose your job, you could sit at the house for a while.
Next thing you know, a thing comes in the mail, says, oh, you're unemployed.
You can collect unemployment.
Oh, okay, cool.
Now I'll collect unemployment, right?
You could be in a house, you get, you know, evicted.
Next thing you know, you can maybe get a mobile home.
If you, you could take your house with you now.
You could get a halfway house, you get half of a house.
You know, you could get apartment, you could get a fourplex, like there, you
could get a tent.
In L.A., there's four dudes living in, just on the street, like literally 30
feet from my apartment, there's four tents.
In the park behind my apartment complex, there's probably, I bet there's a
hundred tents in there.
People living in there in tents.
You know, it's like you could just keep kind of going through the system, you
know, like you can, like I feel like a long time ago it would be like, and I
guess the tents, that's like actually being homeless.
But it's like, we kind of built this society where it's, you have to make your
own motivation because it used to seem like back in the day, like in the Great
Depression or, you know, Benedict Arnold or something like that.
Or, you know, if there was like a big flood or anything, like you might, you
might die.
You might die.
So there was this thing inside of your head that, you know, this fight or
flight kind of thing that like got you up every morning.
You had to, you know, like you had to survive, like the survival instinct was
alive inside of us.
And because it needed, it needed to be there.
It was like a pilot light, like on your heater downstairs that heat on your
water heater.
It was that pilot light to survive was in us.
But now, in America anyway, it feels like survival is, it's kind of grant, like
we're kind of, we've become grandfathered into it.
You know, it's, it's almost guaranteed.
And I know I'm not saying that there's not like, you know, addiction and things
like that that can really take people off their course.
You know, but outside of addiction and mental illness, you can, you'll always
be taken care of kind of in America.
So I wonder if that's starting to like kill our survival instinct that's inside
of us.
You know, and I think about that, like, because I start thinking, you know, one
thing I always loved was being like, I've always loved in my life was just
feeling like the underdog.
You know, just that survivor instinct, that thing like, you know, that dirty
little M&M that, you know, that, that Marshall Mathers that lived in the base
of your brain.
You know, that, you know, that thing that got you like, you know, I got this.
I can take care of me.
I will survive because you had to, I felt like a little bit more when I was
growing up.
But now it's gotten a little more like, oh, everybody's going to survive.
You know, the government, everyone will be taken care of.
There will be a stipend.
Everybody will.
And I'm not saying that that's wrong, but I'm saying that that's killed that
survival instinct and that, that pilot light inside of us that like, I feel
like that's killed it.
You know, like, so now you got to find your own motivation.
You got to find, and that's why I think there's so many things out there that
like motivation is such a big thing now because we got to find our own
motivation.
We got to find it.
Because that, that, that, that, that pilot light that was in our brain, that
was our motivation, that thing, it's, it didn't want to, it doesn't want to
burn bright if it knows that everything's going to be okay.
Fight or flight or just, you know, you know, catch this check off the govy and
fucking, you know, post up at the day's end for a month, you know, I'm out here
eating, you know, being, you know, being a freaking bad boy out here at the Hampton
Inn, you know, out here, you know, buying crushed leather off the internet,
buying fake crushed leather.
It's like, there's nothing to take care.
It's like, we don't need the, the survival instinct is, it's become sedated in
America because we don't need it.
We don't need it as much anymore.
And what I'm saying is I got to remind myself since we're in a time where it's
like everybody gets taken care of no matter what, which I'm not saying it's
wrong, but I'm saying it kills a little bit of the humanity in us that, you
know, that drive.
Because that, that, that drive, it's like, that's reactionary, you know, that's
that fight or flight.
And I feel like now the reason there is so much motivational stuff out there is
because we need it as humans.
Because there, there's a net under us all the time now.
You know, you don't see that trapeze bad boy, you know, a dude out there in
tights, you know, little Larry gets out there for the first time in tights
trying to trapeze.
You know, he comes off that first, that first swing going for the second and he
misses that bitch, you know.
And the next thing you know, he gets all, you know, he gets remodeled by the
earth.
And next thing you know, the elbow's connected to the, you know, the spleen, he's
remodeled.
Because there was no, there was, there used to be no net there.
You could fucking, if you didn't take care of yourself, who knows what happened.
You know, you got kicked out the house.
There wasn't, maybe there wasn't any government assistance.
Next thing you know, you're in a mental health facility.
Next thing you know, you wander outside of there.
And they got another dude who's homeless out in the woods.
He'd been shooting arrows out there.
And you take a freaking, you know, you take one of those Native American
fucking, you know, an arrow, basically a number two pencil from a Native
American, right into the neck and you're out.
But now there's the net.
So, you know, Larry with them wild hips, that trapeze freaking future, you know,
fancy pants.
He could try a million times.
He'll be fine.
So he got to, he has to create his own motivation.
We have to create our own motivations now.
And so that's just, you know, some of the things I've been realizing, like that
fight or flight that was in me when I was young.
Some of that, when I was a child, that thing, some of that's gone.
You know, sometimes I think like, you think it's going to be inside of you.
And it's not inside of us as much anymore.
And that's why I find myself looking to senior, you know, people that are
senior to me for motivation.
Because the motivation isn't that fight or flight is not built into us anymore.
We're being nurtured in an environment here, I feel like, and I could be wrong.
I could be so wrong, dude.
I'm wrong about a lot of stuff.
Not this hair.
But I'm wrong about a lot of things.
But I feel like we're being nurtured in a society where we can't fail.
Where you're always going to get bailed out.
Oh, you burnt your leg off?
Here's another leg.
Oh, you can't taste nothing anymore?
You know, you did too much drugs or you was drinking bleach at the laundromat?
Well, guess what?
Now we got a, we got you this taste and eye dog.
You know, we got you a taste dog.
And if you, when you taste something, he'll bark, you know, if it tastes sweet,
he'll bark three times.
You know, if you taste something and it's salty, he'll bark once.
So now you got a taste, you know, you know, you got one of them, you know, them,
them, you got one of them taste bud Bichons.
And so, oh, oh, you, if he, seven times for caramel, he'll bark seven times.
I think that was only six.
But you know what I'm saying?
You got a taste bud Bichons.
You have a little animal.
That's the world we live in.
Oh, you can't breathe.
We got a fucking dude who will stand here next to you and breathe for you and
tell you what it's like.
Like you can't fail anymore in America.
You can fail, but you can't feel like you fail.
So we want, you know, whatever it is.
And I don't, and look, if you guys have thoughts on this, hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
But it's that, that, that five, that pilot light that's inside of us, that sink
or swim.
If we always know that every time we sink, the bottom is going to get, the
bottom is going to come up and meet our feet.
Then man, at a certain point, the desire for us, the fear of sinking all the
way, it's going to leave our, you know, my children won't know it because how
would I ever instill it to them if it doesn't exist?
So we have to create our own motivations.
That's what I'm saying.
The motivation is not going to come within right now from us as much as it's
going to start from with outside of us.
You know, the fight or flight instinct now has to start outside of us.
And so that's why we go to people, that's why I listen to people like Coco Diaz
and Joe Roggins, you know.
And who else?
Davy Crockett, that bad boy.
Dude, you try to fucking fight somebody in a coon skin cap and win.
Come on.