Name: A Sex Worker | This Past Weekend #132
Uploaded: 2018-09-20T13:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Sex Worker | This Past Weekend #132' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-09-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Sex Worker | This Past Weekend #132' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-09-20. Transcript available.

A Sex Worker | This Past Weekend #132

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an underworld, if you will, in America, or one that's hidden. She is a sex
worker. We've been
trying to get someone from her universe up here into ours for a while now. If
you're watching on
YouTube, you'll know that she is, you'll notice that she's wearing a disguise,
you know, that facial
kind of, you know, a little bit of hide and go seek around the face and neck.
And, and, but we're here to
get into her world today. And we're so happy to have her. Uh, it, oh, Jesus. Ah,
it is sex worker,
Allison. Good. Yeah. You feel honestly like if I, you seem like someone who
could be anyone to me. You
seem like anybody from honestly vanilla ice right now to Sinead O'Connor to
someone at City of Hope
who has a cancer issue, but also somebody at, who's maybe also at Barry's bootcamp.
So I feel like
you are wide range. Yeah. I feel like, sorry, but I do feel like you have a
wide range going on right
now. Um, perfect. Yeah. She's here and she's in, I don't know if I'd call this
disguise. Uh, but we
have a sex worker with us today and her name is Allison. Hello. Hello. Hi. Uh,
thanks for coming in.
Thanks for having me. Uh, are you nervous? Um, slightly, but I think it's going
to be more
fun than anything. Okay. Yeah. I think I'm good. Good. Um, now, and if, if I
say like, you know,
recently they've had, and one of the reasons that why I wanted to have, um, you
in or someone in your
line of work is because recently they had, can you bring it up, Nick? The SESTA,
uh, SESTA,
is that right? Uh, FOSTA. SESTA was what, uh, was passed through the house and
then FOSTA is the
bill that was, um, signed, was passed into law and signed by the president.
Okay. So I do actually
have a couple, um, like data about that as well. So I can, I don't know if you
want to talk about now
or like if you wanted to get into the heavy stuff now or have fun and then get
into the heavy stuff
because it's like kind of depressing. Okay. No, no, no. Well, I mean, I guess
now I almost feel like a
little bit of like a client now it's like, do I want to have fun and then get
into the heavy stuff?
Um, or do I want to get into the heavy stuff and then have fun? Um, well, how
about this? How often
do you work? Um, I work well, it's varied over my, you know, career, but I work
anywhere between once
a week to three to four times a week. Um, when you say times, is that a full
day or is that the most
I'll see in one day is, I mean, absolute max three clients and I really don't,
that's like pushing it
for me. So most of the time I just see one or two. Okay. And when you say see a
client, is that you're
going over to their place or they are, or how does that kind of work? Um, it
depends. Like, uh,
most of the time if I'm going out, it's going to be meeting at a hotel. Um, and
then I also
have a location that they can come to see me. Um, that's very, obviously it
needs to be discreet
and it's way more discreet than a hotel in a lot of cases. So, um, and that's
not like a van or
something like that. No, it's not like a, no, but it's a, uh, not like a
storage shed or something.
No, it's a very, it's a nice, um, condo actually. Okay. That I share with a
colleague. Okay.
Yes. And, um, and so, uh, uh, a visit, right? Like what are your clientele like?
Cause when
I think of somebody that, that hires a sex worker, um, I mean, or not, maybe
not when I
think of it, when people think of it, I imagine they think of like, you know,
some guy and he's
got, you know, uh, and he's, his cheeks are all red, kind of like a young,
young Santa,
you know, but never got into doing gifts. And like, he's, you know, he's, uh,
you know,
and he's smoking cigars and he's, you know, lying to his wife and running
around. Is that,
what is, what is the clientele? What is a sex worker's clientele?
Mine? It's been very surprising actually. Like, and I have to say the longer I've
been doing
it, um, the better my clients have been. Uh, you know, I, at the beginning, I
still didn't
have like a lot of savings. So I was kind of just taking what I could get. And
at this
point I'm so opposite of that. Like I'm so picky about who I see and, you know,
my interaction
with them before I see them. Um, a lot of my clients are, man, they, they
really vary.
I've seen a lot of people that are younger than me, uh, that, you know, are virgins.
That's been a
little weird. Yes. I've had a couple of people pay me to take their virginity
because it was so
awkward for them to try and do that in their real, you know, they're just like
kind of nerdy. Like
they were in, you know, their second or third year of college or whatever. And
they just like,
I couldn't, um, engage with a girl in the real world. So, um, I can imagine
that I did have one,
like not tell me. And like in the middle of the appointment, I was like, have
you ever done this
before? Like it just kind of clicked with me. And I was like, this dude does
not know what he's doing.
And then I was like, why didn't you tell me before? Like, that's kind of
important information.
But, um, and then, so I have people like that and then. Yeah. Like, how did you
know? Like,
was he doing it backwards or something? Or like, was there. It just seemed, man,
it was just really.
What did he do come first and then? No, it was just really awkward. Like the
hip movements that
were happening and like just a lot of things that were happening made me kind
of clued me in that I
was like. Was he doing the Carlton or something? Like I'm just kind of
wondering what he was doing.
I'm trying to like, this was a while ago. So I'm, and I probably, a lot of this
stuff too,
I've kind of just like, you know, washed my memory of because I'm just like, ah,
it's okay. I don't
need to like keep rehashing that in my mind. But. Do you have a virgin package?
Like if you're going,
cause that's fascinating. I never thought about that, that, you know, there's
some young guys out
there and they can't get that, you know, that bust out or they can't get that,
you know, the,
do you notice that they, do you feel like they can't approach a woman? Do you
feel like it's that they,
the sex is the nervous part for those guys? What do you, what do you notice
with that?
Like they, I've been, they've, one in particular told me that he, you know, had
gone on some dates
and he told the girls like, Hey, I've never had sex before. And it kind of like
scared the girls
away. They're like, Oh, I don't want to take that on. Like, I don't want to, um,
I don't want
to take your virginity. That's like too much pressure for a girl. And like, and
then it starts
getting, then they don't want to, you know, turn into like them being so much
older and
they still haven't had sex. So I think that's why they're just like, Oh, let me
just, um,
contact, you know, a high end escort and do it that way and get it over with
and get, you
know, and you got that Pandora's box where like, how many virginities do you
feel like
you have inside of your vagina? Do you feel like, well, I took a couple before
I became
an escort, but I, uh, I don't know, maybe 10. I not like a whole lot, but, and
I've, I've
kind of already, you're like the Tom Brady of like taking virginities. I feel
like that's
a lot for my own sanity. I've decided to not see, um, clients that are younger
than me
at this point. Like anyone in their early twenties, like I just can't, it's, it's
never like super
great for me. I'm always like, this is so awkward. They're always too awkward.
I'm really good
at making everybody feel comfortable and like, you know, they enjoy their
experience. It's
all good. Like they don't leave feeling like, you know, that it was not, it was
less than
stellar because it, it, I always take like really great pride in what I do. So
for me though,
it's just a lot to take on. And I just have decided not to do that anymore.
And how long have you worked as a, um, as a sex worker?
Um, I've actually worked as a sex worker for a really long time before I
started, um, professional
companionship, but I did everything from like, um, videos and photos online and
webcamming.
I mean, it started with videos and photos and then I started live webcamming
and then, um,
I kind of graduated to, uh, and the live webcamming was fun, but it was just
like everybody knew
my business. Like it was all over. Oh really? It was all over the internet.
Like I had, I,
you know, Oh yeah. Cause guys would go on there and you can peruse through
different ones and
they might find you. Yeah. And it was just a live free stream. So like, you
know, I would
have like dudes that I knew, they would be like, Oh, I'm watching you on camera
now. I'm like,
can you please not do that? That's really awkward. Or someone would record it
without my knowing
and it would be on like Pornhub or whatever. And then I'd get a friend that
would send me the link
and be like, Oh, I just found this of you. And then I'd have to have Pornhub
take it off. And
now do you get a little bit of excitement from that? Like, is there like kind
of an,
like, is there something that's enticing about seeing yourself on like a Pornhub
or something
like that? Um, well, the Pornhub part, not so much, but because I have never
actually done porn,
but I feel like I've always been very open to being an exhibitionist and like
being out of the box as
far as like what I do with my sexuality and what I do with my body and how I
earn. Okay. So you've
been out of the box. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. It's okay. Uh, you've
been out of the box by,
will you say it one more t