Name: Sebastian Maniscalco | This Past Weekend #138
Uploaded: 2018-10-11T13:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sebastian Maniscalco | This Past Weekend #138' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-10-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sebastian Maniscalco | This Past Weekend #138' from Theo Von on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-10-11. Transcript available.

Sebastian Maniscalco | This Past Weekend #138

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And now I want to introduce to you guys a guest that, you know, I've looked up
to this guy.
Even though I've, you know, we know each other, but, you know, we know each
other kind of like a lot, a lot in passing.
But he's kind of like, he's a man that I really look up to.
And obviously I'd give anything to have a career like his.
He's worked so hard.
And he's a true entertainer.
You know, I personally, I'm tired of joke writers standing on stage and calling
themselves comedians.
I'm ready for entertainment because that's what people pay for.
And this man gives you your money's worth every single time.
I'm so honored.
He's my Michael Jackson.
You know him from his countless specials on Showtime and Netflix.
He's performed at Madison Square Gardens, dude.
Probably the most famous garden since Marvin Gardens or Mr. McGregor's Gardens.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is Mr. Sebastian Maniscalco.
I'm sure you know about it, bro.
I can't even imagine how nice it is at your level and I need the money.
You're buying probably tomato farms and stuff.
What are you buying?
Nick was a premature baby, so he never, he's got a lot of congenital issues.
You know, he doesn't know, little does our producer Nick know that I have huge
insurance policies out on him, brother.
He used to work at Bronson's Comedy Club.
Did you really?
No, he did.
Oh, yeah, Nick did, huh?
Yeah, saw him back in the day.
Oh, wow.
Oh, yeah, you told me you worked there for one week and they had two great
comedians that came through.
Who were they?
Sebastian and Jay Larson.
Wow.
Yeah, someone jumped off, it's on, have you ever been there?
Yeah, yeah.
So it's on like the third level and looks over into an atrium.
So the day I was performing there, I walked in on a Thursday night and someone
had jumped off and committed suicide right before the show with the line of
people waiting to get in.
So it's a nice start to the week.
Dude, I got caught up there.
They had a, I mean, that's crazy at a mall.
Go outdoors.
You like, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, maybe the parking garage or something.
Yeah, have some respect for shoppers, for your fellow shoppers.
Right, right in the middle where they have the Santa Claus set up.
Oh.
So this is nice.
I like the setup here, man.
Who did this?
Brady Matthews.
I don't know if you know Brady.
He's a young comedian.
He does a lot of impressions.
He did this to Chris Farley.
This isn't me or Donald Trump.
This is Chris Farley.
Oh, okay.
Are you a Farley fan?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm a Chris Farley fan.
I remember I sat behind his brother, Kevin, at the MTV Movie Awards or
something a while back
and got to sit next to Tim Arnold.
No, Tim.
Who was in Shawshank Redemptions?
Who was it?
Tim Robbins.
Tim Robbins.
Yeah, and it was crazy.
I just remember tapping his brother on the shoulder and being like, man, I'm so
sorry about your brother.
And his brother looked at me like, shut the fuck up, dude.
You don't know him.
But now I know Kevin and it's nice.
But yeah, I love Chris Farley.
Did you ever work with him?
I never did.
Chris Farley, I was a huge fan of his and never met him, never crossed paths.
I think he kind of passed away prior to me getting into the entertainment
business.
So we never crossed paths.
Dude, so you must have crazy money now.
And you're Italian, so you probably have your baby hiding it around the house
and stuff.
I bet you, because I watch your Instagram videos, man, and they're great.
It's nice to see you with the family and everything.
And you being able to achieve a lot of your dreams and stuff.
But I bet, low key, you guys are doing some crazy stuff at night around there,
hiding cash under the floors and stuff.
Well, if you know anything about Italians, we don't talk money at all.
That's a good point.
So, but things are good.
I really enjoyed my family.
And yeah, man, it's been really, really nice to, you know, we've talked over
the years in regards to like this business.
Yeah.
How you, you know, break through and whatnot.
So it's been a long, long road.
But after 20 years, finally starting to kind of peek my head out of the ground
and getting some fans.
Out of the ground at the bank, bro.
I don't know if you know.
This is a financial show.
Sorry.
No.
And look, Sebastian, you've never seen like a money guy.
I'm just excited for you, I guess.
Thank you.
And is it weird when, like if you don't come from money and stuff, it's weird
to start having money, isn't it?
Well, we grew up in a middle-class family in northwest suburbs of Chicago.
And, you know, we didn't have a lot of money by any means.
You know, my dad was a beautician.
My mother was a secretary.
And, you know, we went on vacation once a year.
And, you know, we had two cars.
It was a nice bring-up.
Yeah.
Like the one to years.
Something like that Fred Savage kind of one to years kind of style.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And now, yeah, I mean, listen, I'm not a guy who buys a lot of stuff.
I'm not a car guy.
I mean, I'm not a – I mean, I like clothes.
And I like actually sharing the success with my family.
Right.
Yeah, my father, my mother.
Oh, wow.
And, you know, we went out to Italy.
You know what?
You know what I'm going to have to do?
Yeah.
And I typically don't do this.
I got to take off the podcast jacket.
It's getting a little warm.
Is it really?
We'll hang it up for you.
I'm going to get up and hang it up for this man.
Because I'm getting heated talking about money.
And, yeah, Sebastian, you can really pull that over so you're speaking right
down the barrel
because you've got that low, sultry voice.
Yeah, I know.
It's my music voice.
Thank you.
This guy was probably a couple of weeks away from being a lounge singer.
You know how it is in this business, man.
Oh, man.
And I put on a nice vest for you, too, bro.
No, I mean, that's very nice.
It's –
It's basic.
No, you look well put together.
I mean –
Dude, when I used to party, and a lot of my listeners know this, I used to, you
know,
get a little bit of drugs, and I would – you know, I had a vest.
I would – I bought – I probably bought about $6,000 worth of vests, bro.
Vests?
Yeah.
You want a vest spree?
I'm that armless adventure bear, bro.
I'll be out there.
Oh, man.
Do you ever hug somebody in a vest, bro, with nothing else on?
I have.
It's pretty nice.
I got into a vest.
Oh, that's the original honeymoon, bro.
That's a Greek honeymoon, dude, right there.
You're right, a vest.
But, no, I would spend – that's what I spent my money on.
Vests?
Yeah.
Over time.
Now, as I get older, this – like, I collect – you know, some people collect
– you might
collect nice jackets.
You know, some people are shoe guys.
Like, that's one thing I would – like, I had vests.
Like, for some reason, I got into it about eight years ago, and I've had a
collection over
the years.
So, are you still whipping out those vests?
Not as much.
I would do drugs at night by myself at home and put them on, bro.
You would put a vest on to do drugs?
I'd do the drugs first, I think.
The vests, yeah.
Vests came after.
The vests were a byproduct, I think, is some of my behaviors.
All right.
But what was some – yeah, you were talking about spending some – spending
some cash,
and you like spending it on your family.
And my family.
I took my sister, her family, and my mother to Italy this year, and we enjoyed
Tuscany together.
So, that's what I like to do.
I like to kind of share.
Because these people have been with me, you know, for the last 20 years.
They've come to every show.
Right.
And they've been very supportive.
And it's very – I'm really into family.
And now that I have a little daughter and my wife, that's kind of where my
heart is, is my family.
Yeah.
And that's what I talk about in my act.
Not only my family, but my father and the whole Italian upbringing, that whole
thing.
So, yeah, it's nice.
It's finally nice.
I mean, after – you know, I was selling satellite dishes in the mall in a
ghetto at one point to, you know, get by.
And I went into $10,000 worth of that.
So, it was a struggle, as you well know, you know.
And now I'm very grateful that everything is kind of working out.
Evening out.
It's evening out, yeah.
It's interesting.
It's almost – do you feel like in some ways like it's evening out?
Because what's interesting is you don't – for me, anyway, I don't remember
almost all the times that I put in that were not valueless,
but definitely were not a lot of, like, fiscal reward at all.
Like, all the weekends of flying, like you said, you went $10,000 in debt.
Same here.
I think I went, like – I think I had, honestly, once I was all said and done,
almost 20-something grand on credit cards.
Just from – you know, they pay you $600 to fly to Buffalo for the weekend as
a feature.
You come back, you lost $400, you know.
Yeah.
Like, it's just an investment.
Yes.
But all that kind of goes into the past as you start to – like, you forget
about it a little bit.
Like, I guess it feels like it evens out a little bit.
Well, I think we were compensated probably for all the times that we didn't get
paid.
So, you know, you're kind of making up for that.
But I'm well aware of those times where it was slim pickings.
I live in the negative, right?
So, I'm always, you know, things are good now, but I'm always waiting, you know,
for that time when people don't come to the show.
Oh, yeah.
I'm never like these positive guys that you see up on Instagram, like a Gary Vee
or The Rock or whatnot, or Mark Wahlberg, that whole thing.
Like, hey, man, you got to get up and – I'm not that guy.
I'm the guy who is, you know, I'm waiting to fall off the mountain rather than
to climb up it.
Yeah.
And that's what kind of keeps me motivated.
Like, you're paying – like, you're talking to the trash guy, like, look, just
let me know when there's some openings over there.
Like, you're playing in the head.
Well, that's the family I'm from, you know.
They're very kind of like negative people.
Yeah.
And that's kind of how I am.
I mean, I try to be positive.
Don't get me wrong.
But I live in fear.
Yeah?
Wow.
That's what keeps me going.
Did – we have a question, actually.
I wanted to even start the podcast off with this, but podcasts start where they
start.
Sebastian Maniscalco is here today, and huge fan.
So happy to have you here, bro.
Thank you so much for your ti